Operation AXIOM & Project MERCATORWelcome back, Halloween! This year marked the first time I put on a costume and went out on All Hallow's Eve since '01 or '02, a costume party at "the Cove" with Mrs. Sacramento, then Never Girl, as my platonic date. I wore my Aqua-Cadet uniform (and it is a uniform, not a costume) on Halloween in '06 & '07, but only to pass out candy to all the wee trick-or-treaters. If I recall correctly, last year my newly busy schedule allowed this night of rollicking revelry to sneak up on me, and any desire to throw together a costume at the last minute was hamstrung by a lack of potential destinations. What, after all, is the point of getting all dressed up with nowhere to go?
This year, circumstance conspired in my favor. I was not favored with any invitations to Halloween parties, but that's just as well as I would have been forced to decline, for this year I was favored with a rare privilege. This year, I went to a show. And not just a show, a ska show! I went alone, yes, but am budding pals with a lad in the ska band, The Loose Ties. As if seeing a thriving local ska band wasn't treat enough, The Loose Ties were all wearing
Star Wars costumes! Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo & Chewbacca, Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi (that was my pal, I asked which Obi-Wan he was, and he said original trilogy), a Jawa, a Jedi from
Attack of the Clones (the only prequel trilogy costume), and the lamest Darth Vader I've ever seen.
Star Wars and ska? Pinch me!
For myself, for my first non-Captain Thumbs-Up get-up, I went as the H1N1 swine flu. I wish I could take credit for such a fabulous idea, but I adapted/ripped off the idea from The All-American Boy, who thought to costume himself as S.A.R.S. when that was the looming apocalyptic plague
du jour. I took a white T-shirt and wrote upon it, front and back and on both sleeves, in large red letters, "H1N1," and wore a name tag that read, "Hi! My Name Is SWiNE FLU." I wished to pair this with a pig snout, ears, and a squiggly tail, but, alas, I could not find one in any of the nightmare-inducing—though not for the reason they'd hope—local Halloween stores. I could have ordered all I needed from ye olde internets, but I left it for too late; there simply wasn't sufficient time. So, I substituted a cheap breathing mask and latex gloves to complete the ensemble. It wasn't ideal, but such a costume is always more about attitude than accoutrements.
The right kind of people thought it was a great costume, the wrong kind looked away nervously, and all in all I'd call the evening—the costume, the music, the camaraderie—a smashing success. Nevertheless, I am irked by the pig snout failure and am determined not to be caught flatfooted again next year. I've already three costumes in the works, at three different levels of required preparation: one I could throw together on the day-of if need be; one that hearkens back to the halcyon days of cardboard box costumes and would require a significant but reasonable amount of D.I.Y. prep; and one, The Sandman (Wesley Dodds, specifically from
Sandman Mystery Theatre), that requires both bought costume pieces and D.I.Y. props. I have on hand the gas mask I'll need, and in the shower on Sunday I had a breakthrough on how I could manufacture the necessary gas gun. Perhaps not next year, but sooner rather than later I'll haunt the dreams of the guilty as… The Sandman!
In other Project MERCATOR news, I was invited out for sushi last night, only the second time I've ever had it. Sushi's fine, I've no objection to eating raw crab & eel & octopus, but I really fail to see what people love about it. If we hadn't been there specifically for the sushi, I'm sure I'd have enjoyed a cooked steak dish far more than the sushi. However, we had a grand time sharing off the big, communal plate, never quite sure what kind of sushi we were eating. 'Twas a balanced group, two guys and two dolls, but the girls were oft engaged in their own confab and for the life of me I could not get the other chap to utter more than a handful of words. So, I joined the girls and we largely ignored him. Things took a turn for the worse near the end, when both girls compared the sensation they experience after eating sushi to the afterglow of sexual congress. They kept at it and I squirmed prudishly all through the ride back to the parking structure in which I'd left Lumi, and though both girls wanted to keep the night going and I, for the most part, find them charming company, I bowed out and slunk home. *shudder*
Codename: CHAOSBy this point in time, The All-American Boy is a physician; mayhap his Secret Base codename, infrequently used as it is, should reflect this achievement? The All-American Doctor? Dr. All-American Boy? Yeah, probably Dr. All-American Boy. (Note: The All-American Boy should not be confused with The Boy, nor The Boy with The Guy.)
21st Century Bread & CircusesI have finally taken advantage of my longstanding option to "upgrade" my mobile phone (also known as a cell phine). There are both pros and cons to my new phone compared to my old phone. PRO: My new mobile is equipped with a "qwerty" keyboard for quicker, easier text messaging. CON: Though I have no experience with crack cocaine and would not even know where to purchase crack cocaine were I so inclined, I'm comfortable positing that the qwerty keyboard is as addictive as crack cocaine. In Ohio, I was mocked for texting "like a teenager." PRO: Vibrate! My old mobile was a primitive little thing; it had the ability to vibrate, but had no vibrate mode. Vibrate could only be accessed in conjunction with setting the ringer to the highest volume, so that when the phone rang it seemed a little bit like the end of the world. (These are the settings to which my mother, who has the same model mobile as my old mobile, keeps her phone set.) CON: The alarm clock feature is deficient. Gone are my primitively rendered versions of classical music standards and in their place are horrific quasi-hip hop and electronica tunes. To this point, I'm still using my old mobile as an alarm clock, in conjunction with my two clock-radio alarms. (I sleep like a log. I kid you not, I was once kicked in the head while sleeping on the floor and continued to slumber peacefully as if nothing had happened.) PRO: The new mobile has slightly better reception than the old, though the universality of Verizon's service is greatly exaggerated in their advertisements. CON: The battery does not seem quite up to the job of the frequent text messaging. I'm not recharging the phone everyday, but I am doing so more often than with the old mobile.
PRO: My new mobile is, like the old, a flip phone, and with its larger size even more closely resembles an Original Series
Star Trek Communicator. The more akin to Captain Kirk the better. CON: "Khaaaaan!"
Vote For Kodos'Tis Election Day (woot!), but in an off-off-year (feh). That said, it will be most interesting to see if our charlatan president's parade of horrors will be sufficiently horrifying to enough of the body politic to cripple his agenda in next year's mid-terms before the Chicago mob is able to enact into law the full horror of the parade of horrors. For the sake of our nation, our children, and the world, let us hope the full horror of the parade of horrors never sees the light of day.
One year on, I wonder how many of you realize you were Obamboozled?
Coming Attractions"The Victors" - doom doom doom
"This Week in Motorsport" - the Brazilian & Abu Dhabi Grands Prix, and the end of my first F1 season (F1 Y1?)
The Rebel Black Dot Song of the DayThe Aquabats!, "The Thing on the Bass Amp!" from
The Aquabats! vs. The Floating Eye of Death! and Other Amazing Adventures, Vol. 1 (T.L.A.M.)
