Thursday, July 29, 2004

Fucking Nazis
Make no mistake, I fucking hate Nazis. (Goose-stepping pricks.) Nevertheless, Nazis are interesting and, as has been mentioned before by a great many others, they make for great cinema. Every hero worth his salt must at one point or another fight Nazis. To wit: Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. (What was the problem with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, you ask? Not a single Nazi got punched.) What's great about Mike Mignola's Hellboy is even after all these years the fucking Nazis are still neck-deep in the occult: Seed of Destruction, Wake the Devil, and especially Conqueror Worm. And what makes The Blues Brothers not just a good flick but the Greatest Motion Picture of All Time? They battle fucking Nazis! Lately, I've seen several films about post-war Nazi hunting:

The Boys From Brazil
The Statement
The Odessa File

Thought you'd gotten away with it, didn't you, Eichmann? Glass cage for you, motherfucker! Fucking Nazis.

Cop: "They won their court case, so they're marching today."
Jake: "Who?
Cop: "The fucking Nazi Party."
Elwood: "Illinois Nazis."
Jake: "I hate Illinois Nazis."
Boy howdy, with Star Trek: Enterprise teetering on the verge of cancelation, it's a good thing Rick Berman won't let any of these people anywhere near the show. Michael Piller was vital to making The Next Generation great and co-created both Deep Space Nine and Voyager, though he left both shows early. Ira Steven Behr was the man who made Deep Space Nine the best of all Star Treks; he is a genuine hero to me. Rene Echevarria and Robert Hewitt Wolfe were two of Behr's strongest writers and Wolfe was Behr's writing partner. These are four of the men who made Star Trek what it was in the 1990s.

In the 1990s, Star Trek: The Next Generation was a national phenomenon and both DS9 and even Voyager had better ratings than Enterprise. So, why is it Berman has rejected their help and brought in a new crew of inferior writers? The former Bald Mountain likes to say that I'm too hard on Berman. I counter that though Berman has done good things for Star Trek, they are all in the past and his recent efforts have fallen short.

Good Berman
{a} 1987-1994: made The Next Generation great
{b} 1993: created Deep Space Nine
{c} 1996: Star Trek: First Contact (VII), the second best of all the films

Bad Berman
{a} 1995: created Voyager
{b} 1999: criticized the best parts of Deep Space Nine (the only negative things he's even said about any Star Trek)
{c} 1998, 2002: Star Trek: Insurrection (IX) and Star Trek: Nemesis (X) were terrible
{d} 2001-present: Enterprise is not as good as it could be and should be, and none of the writers who made TNG and DS9 great are on staff

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Evel Knievel
Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day
It's a slow news summer. What do you want from me? Hmmm, while I certainly still appreciate the myriad charms of Ms. Deschanel, perhaps weekly is a tad too frequent for Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Days. After all, it's not like we ever have Parker Posey Appreciation Days, and she's Parker Posey, for crying out loud!

Parker Posey Appreciation Day
Ms. Posey was excellent in Laws of Attraction, by the way. I saw it primarily for her, but it turned out to be quite entertaining on its other merits, too. And even though Blade II was way better than Blade (how could it not have been), she is still the single best reason to see Blade: Trinity. (And that's saying a lot considering the film also has Ryan Reynolds. "Berg" forever!)

I saw Blade one night with Danny Boy and Nicky the Greek during either our freshman/sophomore or sophomore/junior summer. We rented the tape, because this was before DVDs were the medium of choice. I thought it was one of the worst movies I had ever seen and went to great lenghts to mock them for their choice. Fast forward to this winter and the impending release of Hellboy; quite eager to see the film, I decided to get something of a preview by renting Blade II, also directed by Guillermo del Toro. Hee hee, lots of things got blown up goooooood. So, having now enjoyed Blade II, I decided to give Blade another chance. It was not as bad as I had remembered, but that is not to say it was any good. But, as long as I've already seen I and II, I might as well go ahead and see Blade: Trinity. Plus, as I said, Parker Posey!

Pink Floyd (Putting the "P.F." in The Newsletter's "B.A.P.F. Lives.")

Have A Night
Have a trusting night.
Song of the Week
Apropos of both last weekend's birthday and this weekend's sojourn, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, "Leaving on a Jet Plane" from Have A Ball (originally by the late, great John Denver).

A short skirt,
A Gimmes shirt,
A Jones Soda,
Ain't life grand?

Pete Foster talking about Margaret Eastman? Is he still hopelessly in love with Noel Kincaid, or is he now hopelessly in love with Margaret? I really need to do some serious work on the outline for In Search of the Perfect Lesbian. Maybe just plot it as "In Search of the Perfect Lesbian" and get it done as a short story before I go any farther. Walk before I run.

One of the ideas I've always had in the back of my head is that in the course of Margaret's pursuit of Kari Putterman, where Pete serves as Sancho Panza to her Don Quixote, Pete will get over his long-festering love for Noel. And then Margaret and Pete realize they are pretty perfect for each other. I am of two minds about this. On the one hand, that seems way too easy. On the other hand, stranger things have happened and they already fight like a married couple. On the gripping hand, since Pete Foster is, among all the kids in the Rebel Black Dot Society, the most direct avatar of myself, maybe he is just destined to be alone forever. (Fuck you, I just had my brithday, I'm allowed to sulk.)

The Queue*
Bernard Goldberg, Arrogance
Michael Ledeen and William Lewis, Debacle
Sarah Vowell, The Partly Cloudy Patriot *IN PROGRESS*
Steve Martin, Shopgirl
Thomas P.M. Barnett, The Pentagon's New Map
Nick Hornby, Fever Pitch
Tobias Wolff, This Boy's Life
Tobias Wolff, Old School
Lucinda Rosenfeld, Why She Went Home *reread*
Miguel Cervantes, Don Quixote *pipe dream*
pretty much everything by Alistair MacLean
ditto Leslie Charteris

*"The Queue" consists solely of books I have at my immediate disposal. The all-time list of books I have always meant to read is nigh endless.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Things I Love From 1986*
Sammy (Samuel Bubbles Sink Cat Wilson)
the Mousemobile
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

*That are still around.

Think about the words "Governor Schwarzenegger." Let them roll off your tongue. We live in a hell of a country; a poor kid with huge muscles from the boondocks of Austria can arrive on our shores with nothing to his name but his freakish physique and end up being elected governor of our largest state based primarily on his protrayals of an unstoppable killer robot in the movies.

repetition for continuity
Have A Day
Have a last day.

Have A Night
Have a first night.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Testing... Testing...
It now seems that the current problem was not with Blogger (my apologies to the douchebags as Pyra Labs), nor even with my dad's p.o.s. HAL. The problem, as I probably should have suspected from the first, lies in AOL's inherent crappiness. Seriously, has there ever been a worse company?

It sickens me to think that AOL owns the rights to Batman, Superman, and the rest of the DC pantheon.
Testing... Testing...
The rain in Spain falls mostly on the plain. Hmm, it is entirely possible that the fault has all along been with my father's p.o.s. HAL....

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

I was driving behind a truck the other day and in the center of the rear windshield was a sticker. The sticker featured an Americna flag and next to it the words "These colors don't run." Now, this was a late model truck; so, this sticker was not just a holdover from the Gulf War. The really fun part was that the colors of the flag were quite faded.

Manfred von Richthofen
Herr Richthofen, known to history as the Red Baron, was credited during the Great War with shooting down eighty Allied (French, British, Candian, and American) aeroplanes, more than any other pilot on either side. At the time of his death in 1918 (shot down either by a Canadian pilot or Australian anti-aircraft gunners), he was a mere twenty-five years old, the same age I am now. He may have fought on "the wrong side," but still he is remembered. Were I to be flattened by a bus im the next few minutes, I would quickly be forgotten.

I said to Skeeter last night, "A quarter century and I have nothing to show for it." To which she replied, "Don't be so melodramatic."

At the Summit on Saturday, the Plate told me I was about the experience a golden birthday. "Golden" not because I was turing twenty-five, but because I was turning twenty-five on July 25, the first, last, and only time in my life the date and my age will line up thusly. A month earlier, he had experinced his own golden birthday on June 25. Well, hurray for us.

And yeah, I'm awesome! I mean, did the Red Baron ever publish his own crummy little newsletter? I think not! Or if he did, it wasn't The Newsletter. Ha! Point for me.

On the plus side, I am now Constitutionally eligible for election to the United States House of Representatives. Five years until I can be a United States Senator!

The City That Never Sleeps
I am flying to New York on Freitag to spend the weekend with Skeeter. The poor devil. Sites and attractions I want to see: the Natural History Museum (last time, I spent our entire visit just in the dinosaur room), Theodore Roosevelt's birthplace (it's an official National History Site!), and the site of the World Trade Center/the cornerstone for the new Freedom Tower. When I mentioned this last destination, Skeeter wrote, "Really?" I have no idea what she meant by that. I sincerely hope she does not share the attitude many New Yorkers have articulated that only they suffered on 9/11 and that no one else in the country was affected.

On my very first trip to New York City in the mid-/late-'90s (this will be my third), my family went to the World Trade Center. It was there than my brother and I encountered the Monocled Man. He was a distinguished older gentleman, bald in the way that sez, "Hi, I'm a Viscount," neatly dressed in a blazer and turleneck sweater, and sporting, honest to Bog, a monocle. And on the Monocled Man, that monocle looked completely natural. I have been to the Gettysburg National Cemetary and toured the battlefield. I have been to Arlington National Cemetary, where I almost cried. I have visited the Little Bighorn and seen the headstones. I have been to Fort Ticonderoga, the Saratoga battlefield, and the reconstruction of Fort William Henry. I desire to one day visit Hawai'i not for the beaches and the sea breezes, but to pay my respects to the crew of the Arizona.

I am not terribly fond of the "Ground Zero" designation - to me it seems disrepectful to those who died at the Pentagon and in Pennsylvania - but to me visiting the site seems both natural and proper. Men and women and children died there, most of them innocently, many of them heroically, some of them intentionally, and it is important to stop and say, "I remember."

Sunday, July 25, 2004

The Secret Base of the Rebel Black Dot Society is suspended until those bastards at Pyra Labs/Google get their heads out of their arses.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Fucking Blogger! Why can't I I use the fucking ENTER key?! I can't live like this, all in one long, continuous, run-on sentence. It's inhuman! It's inhumane! With Bog as my witness, I will destroy those misspelling douchebags at Google and their lapdogs at Pyra Labs!

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Last weekend, I was in upstate New York watching the Conchshell visit the Mountain at opera camp. This weekend, I'm heading down to Ann Arbor for the second ever Newsletter Summit. The next weekend, I'm flying to NYC to finally honor Skeeter's request to come visit her. In August, I hope to have some time to just sit on my arse and recreate.

Vote For Kodos
I want you to take a moment and think about this: former Assistant for National Security Sandy Berger is accused of stealing classified documents from the National Archive. (Whether it was intential or not, it was still unlawful taking, which to me means stealing.) This is a potentially serious criminal matter. Yet, most of the media attention has focused on Democratic suspicions about the timing of the release of this information. Are we to believe that the timing of this leak is a more serious matter than the improper distribution of sensitive government documents? Just for one moment, close your eyes and try to imagine what the media would be saying if instead of Mr. Berger, it had been current Assistant for National Security Dr. Condoleezza Rice would had unlawfully removed and then lost or destroyed classified materials. Do you honestly think the media would be talking about the timing of the leak rather than the act itself? Think about the bias that colors the news you receive.

Hamburger. Hamburglar. Sandy Berger. Sandy Burglar?

Hot Water Music

Have A Day
Have a last day.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Colin Powell sez "Get Lost!"
Well, it's official, I'm a loser. I got my results back for the Foreign Service Written Examination and my score was not sufficient to advance me to the Foreign Service Oral Assessment. By Lucifer's beard! To be honest, I did so well on the practice exams that I didn't really consider not advancing as a serious possibility. Well, poo. Looks like a bleak future of crushing monotony for me, wasting the formerly precious hours of my life behind the counter at a Kwik-E-Mart. *sigh* I had a future once. Now I suppose I'll have to actually buckle down and improve myself. Curses!

Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day
Can you see the Deschanel Difference? Elf was hilarious. Anchorman was dreadful (almost as bad as Starsky & Hutch). Both were Will Ferrell vehicles; so, what was the difference? Why was one grand and the other pathetic? One word: NARWHAL! Another possibility is that only one of those films co-starred Ms. Deschanel. Of course, I mean no offense to Christina Applegate, but the simple fact is that she just isn't Zooey Deschanel and thus does not bring any of that trademark Deschanel goodness to her roles. On the other hand, it's just as well that Ms. Deschanel was not in Anchorman, since when not dressed up as an oversized elf, I think it is obvious to one and all that Mr. Ferrell is just a tad too old for her; or, at least a tad too old for it not to be creepy.

The only thing I didn't like about King Arthur is that Clive Owen is almost exactly twice as old as Keira Knightley.

Home Grown

Have a graduation day.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Fly Me to the Moon
Thirty-five years ago today, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin demonstrated Man's contempt for the impossible by becoming the first men to set foot on the Moon. From the plaque they laid: "We came in peace for all Mankind."

My parents are the worst people I've ever known. I went to work today, while my dad took the day off; I went to class after work, while my mom sat and read. Once I got home, they dispatched me to go and fetch dinner from Little Caesar's, despite the fact that Mom left the house later in the morning and got home earlier in the evening, and despite the fact that Dad spend the whole day at home. I was the one who had to go back out. Once back home, I took out the garbage while Mom read and Dad socked in O'Reilly. Then, I unloaded the dishwasher and did the dishes, again while they recreated. And even though he had the whole day off today, in addition to most of the previous two months, tomorrow my dad wants me to go pick up some nut and bolts (literally) for him.

My kids won't just grow up not knowing their Grandpa Wilson, the fascist puke; the best solution may be for them to not know their Grandma Wilson, lazy pig that she is, either. How in the hell did the Mountain and the LAW end up as cool as they are given their misbegotten parentage?

Good Charlotte

Have a bad hair day.

Note to self: if I ever have a problem that I just can't solve, I should kidnap and threaten to behead a Filipino truck driver. The government of the Phillipines will do whatever I say to get the guy back unharmed. Sweet!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Seriously, what in the name of all that's dark and profane is wrong with France? And here's the proof that I'm not just an irrational, foaming-at-the-mouth Francophobe, "Freedom Fries." The French Republic might as well go ahead and change the country's motto to "Liberte. Fraternite. Genocide."

I, Moviegoer
I am of two minds about the new film I, Robot. On the one hand, having read Isaac Asimov's seminal book I, Robot, I am offended that some movie studio jerks have decided to ditch the short stories with their glorious subtleties and complexities in favor of a traditional Frankenstein story; make no mistake, any time science runs amok, somebody is ripping off Frankenstein and Mary Shelley really should be getting a dime. On the other hand, the film looks like it might be a nice bit of brainless entertainment. On the gripping hand, it is directed by Alex Proyas, twisted genius behind The Crow and Dark City.

Plus, Bridget Moynahan is pretty enough to make you forget your own name.
Hello, Kitty
What really frightens me is that I no longer cringe when Sammy stumbles. He stumbles every few steps, staggers under even the most gentle petting, and loses his footing regularly while climbing. Initially upon moving back home, this shocked and horrified me; now it is simply the order of things. He's such an old, old cat. I won't let Mom and Dad put you to sleep, Sammy, not unless you're suffering. I promise.

Tomorrow we leave on the long drive to see the Mountain of Love at opera camp (the Seagle Music Colony). We're taking the Conchshell with us; so, we won't see my brother. But at least the LAW is coming and it will be nice to see her.

Goo Goo Dolls

Have an institutional day.
Let's face facts: Welcome Interstate Managers is just about the greatest album of all time.

"Hey Julie, look what they're doing to me,
Trying to trip me up, trying to wear me down,
Julie, I swear it's so hard to bear it,
And I'd never make it through without you around.
No, I'd never make it through without you around."

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day
For no good reason, I dislike Cameron Crowe. I mean, I've only ever seen two of his movies, and my opinion of them is divided right down the middle: I really like Fast Times at Ridgemont High (writer) and I really don't like Say Anything (writer and director). So, with a 1-1 record, I can only go with my gut. And my gut sez bad things. Nevertheless, we've reached the point where I'm running out of movies with Ms. Deschanel that I have not seen. So, I may be compelled to rent Almost Famous, despite my gut's assertion that I won't like it.

Vote For Kodos
I should check my Gmail email more often. On June 14, I posted the following item under "Vote For Kodos":
This is an honest question, and I hope someone emails me with an answer: Why is President Clinton's JD from Yale considered a mark of personal intelligence, while President Bush's MBA from Harvard is not?
Much to my surprise, I actually got a response from Skeeter, who defended President Clinton's intelligence and belittled President Bush's lack of same thusly:
Clinton actually is smart. And he happens to have a Yale JD. Bush is dum. In spite of his MBA.
For my part, I can only assume that she meant "dumb."

Misspelling aside, the thrust of her argument is President Clinton's JD is considered a mark of intelligence because he is intelligent and President Bush's MBA is not considered a mark of intelligence because he is not intelligent. The logic is inescapable... not so much. *sigh* Still, I am impressed that someone actually bothered to respond and I apologize for not responding in a more timely fashion.
The Wars of the Roses
Now that's a conflict worth dying in!
{There was a very cathartic post here. It was nothing worth reading, but as it was cathartic, I feel better now.}

I figured out what's worse than spending twelve hours out of the house at work and then class and coming home to find Fox News blaring at high volume from every TV: having the day off with my father about the house.

Uncle Kracker

Have a fine day.
The Once and Future King
Darth Vater and I saw King Arthur this evening. It was a very different take on the legend, even more different than I had anticipated, but I loved it. Antoine Fuqua: 3 for 3 (Training Day, Tears of the Sun, and now King Arthur). And of course at the heart of any telling of the Arthurian mythology, no matter how demystified, must be King Arthur and Queen Guinevere, brought to life by Clive Owen, British Badass, and Keira Knightley, the second most beautiful girl in the world.

Arthur (Arturius)
Lancelot (not du Lac)

Me: Am I an Arthur or a Lancelot?
Skeeter: you know
Me: Crap.

Tuesday's housekeeping...
Kid Rock

Have a pugnacious day.

Monday, July 12, 2004

The Hyperion Guard (founding roster)
The Futurist
Human Dynamo (III)
White Cross
The Lycian

The Hyperion Guard (current roster)
The Futurist
The Lycian
Agent M & The Brick
Abstract Man
Cold Fusion

*Formerly the Human Dynamo (III), he became Pax after joining/being consumed by a piece of advanced technology, possibly of extraterrestrial or extradimensional origin.
Casey: "What happened to your values?"
Dan: "I find that maintaining them is a lot of work. I take a day off now and then."
Casey: "You tale a vacation from doing the right thing?"
Dan: "Yeah. I don't loot store fronts or anything, but once in a while when I consider the effort it takes to diligently adhere to a moral compass, I take myself out of the line-up and rest for the next day."

More Peril!
It turns out that when my dad gave the guys at the shop their instructions, he said simply, "Fix the leak" in the power steering system. The result is that the Mousemobile fought me all the way to work this morning, and when my shift ended I checked the power steering fluid level and lo and behold, found the reservoir full. So now we have to take the car back tomorrow morning and instruct them to "Check the whole system"... which is what I'd thought we'd done the first time. *sigh* Also, I would not take her back to the same shop, not in light of both this failure of imagination and saturday's disconnection of the speedometer. This in my life generally go well, thus the theory of Mike Wilson luck, but when you're dealing with my dad, everything is a struggle.

So yeah, when I tried to blog I cleary typed in, which upon hitting the ENTER key, my browser chose to interpret as .comwww.blogger. What the...?!

Sheryl Crow

Have a silly day.
The Impossible Squad
Human Dynamo! (II)
Captain Freedom!
Star of India!
Le Fleur-de-Lis!
Lava Man!

(The Impossible Squad were almost all killed in 1967 during a battle with their longtime nemesis, The Fury. The only survivor was Le Fleur-de-Lis, who was badly mauled and permanently disfigured. Shortly thereafter, burdened by grief and regret, The Fury retired. She was recruited by The Cloak, who molded her into The Erinys, champion of Imperium [London] and second-in-command of SPQR.)

Sunday, July 11, 2004

You know what I've never understood? This. What does the Iron Cross, longtime symbol of Germany and all things German, have to do with being a biker? Bikers have Germans' love of precision and conformity?
Went down to Ann Arbor last night to see Spider-Man 2 with the Sardine. And hey, after more than a year I finally got About a Boy (the book, though I also own the movie) back. Even were my transient infatuation with Sardine based upon affection, not lust, she is undateable. Several times last night, just to see what would happen, I not only unlocked her door, but held open the door and closed it for her. Each time, as I walked behind the car and peered through the rear window, I'd see her fumbling with her seatbelt and never once reaching over to unlock my driver's side door.

And we all know what that means.

Vote For Kodos
At dinner I said, "I have said this for years that I am not a conservative and I resent the implication." Meine Vater replied, "I know, it's real discouraging." This after he said I was a bit of a flaming pinko. Funny thing that before 9/11 he never once identified himself as a conservative, social or political, and now he pretends to have O.G. street cred (original Goldwater).

The Rolling Stones

O my brothers, have a real horrorshow day.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

The power steering system will, I hope, no longer leak. Unfortunately, on the drive home from the repair shop, I noticed that the dimtwits had managed to disconnect the speedometer. *uh* So, I turned around and drove - at what speed I have no idea - back and within five minutes they were able to reconnect whatever they had disconnected. It's an interesting thing, driving without any real idea of how fast you're going.

Hello, Kitty
Sam meows and whines all the time, and a lot of the time it seems that he doesn't even want anything in particular, he just doesn't want to be left alone. It gets annoying and sometimes I just want him to just go away, but then I feel bad about that because he's old and pathetic, and is it such a terrible thing to want someone to pay attention to you?



Friday, July 9, 2004

Who was up at 7:00 this morning to go to work? Me

Who had four straight hours of class after work? Me

Who is now cooking dinner? Me

Who will do the dishes later? Me

Who had the free time today to paint a model of the Death Star? My dad

Who asked me to pick up some Ya Ya's for him on my way back from class because he didn't feel like leaving the house? My dad

Who then said it was fine if I just cooked the chicken already in the fridge when I got home from class? My dad

Who, having been home all day, then complained about the delay the entire time I was cooking his dinner, this after I'd been out of the house for eleven hours? My dad

Who needs a brick to the face? My dad

*Not bitchin', which is good, but bitching, which is bad.

While the Mousemobile is having her power steering system repaired, I get the drive The Last Angry Van! While there are certain obvious disadvantages to driving a minivan, it is nice to be able to see over SUVs for once. Hurray, now I'm the guy blocking the view of guys like me! Seriously, though, I've put in a lot of hours and a lot of miles in The Last Angry Van and just like the Mousemobile, she feels like home.

A Perfect Circle

Have a cow day.

Thursday, July 8, 2004

I love the Mousemobile more than any man should love any car, but there are drawbacks to driving an eighteen year-old vehicle, especially a vehicle from GM's golden age of "quality" the 1980s. On Tuesday, I checked and topped off the power steering fluid; today, the power steering fluid reservoir was bone-dry. Every day's an adventure.

I've finally named Kate McKenna's alter ego! A mild-mannered high school English teacher, McKenna manifested the power of invulnerability during a horrible subway accident; the rest, as they say, is history. Her alter ego was a public favorite as well as a media darling among New Amsterdam's mystery men before the devastating fight between The Lion and The Terror polarized public opinion, resulting in the Protectors being given jurisdiction. She has now dedicated herself to protecting the people of Patriot City , patrolling the streets as... THE SCOT! Complete with appropriate symbol.


Have a virtual day.

Wednesday, July 7, 2004

Invincible (Mark Grayson)
Omni-Man (Nolan Grayson)
Debbie Grayson - civilian
Atom Eve (Samantha Eve Wilkens)
William - civilian
Rex Splode
Allen - Champion Evaluation Officer, Coalition of Planets
Cecil Stedman
Black Samson
Monster Girl
Shrinking Ray
the Mauler brothers

The Immortal - dead...ish
Darkwing - dead
War Woman - dead
Aquarus - dead
The Red Rush - dead
Green Ghost - dead
Martian Man - dead

If you aren't reading Invincible, I have to ask what's wrong with you? Perhaps that's too harsh, because I was once like you. Then again, there's a lot wrong with me; what's your excuse?
Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day
Lucinda Rosenfeld's novel What She Saw..., love it though I do, is uniquely unsuitable for adaptation into a motion picture. The book chronicles the life of Phoebe Fine through her relationships with various men, and lacks a consistant thread that could tie together a movie. The sequel, Why She Went Home is more of a coherent novel (What She Saw... is almost a collection of short stories), and though I'm not saying it should happen, it could be successfully translated into a film. It occurs to me that were Why She Went Home to be made into a film, Ms. Deschanel would be well-cast as Phoebe Fine. My inspiration for this thought, though, was seeing Emily Deschanel, Zooey's older sister, in Spider-Man 2. Because if Zooey played Phoebe, Emily would be perfect as Phoebe's older sister Emily. The Deschanel sisters as the Fine sisters. Somewhere, Jason Barry Gold is very happy....

Garbage (The most aptly named band since Tool.)

Have a half-empty day.
I just joined Friendster. If I commit suicide in the next few days, please don't say anything nice about me. Suicide is a mortal sin, and it irks me when people say of suicides, "He's in a better place now...." It's a mortal sin, you twits! There is no forgiveness for suicide! Straight to fucking Hell! Gah!

In any event, I've sunken to a new low. In my own words: "This is the most pathetic endeavour to which I have ever been a party."

Tuesday, July 6, 2004

Excellent Quotes From the Mountain of Love
"But Mike... ASIA!"

"... fucking Robespierre..."
Today was not a particularly good day. I don't want to detail what went wrong, because it's all small, petty garbage, not the sort of stuff to get upset about, but today was quite humid and I got very little sleep last night... never-fuckin'-mind. Sorry, kids, you deserve better. (But you aren't going to get it today! Ha!)

The Queue
David Drake and Bill Fawcett, ed., The Fleet: Crisis
Bernard Goldberg, Arrogance
Michael Ledeen and William Lewis, Debacle
Sarah Vowell, The Partly Cloudy Patriot
Steve Martin, Shopgirl
Nick Hornby, Fever Pitch
Thomas P.M. Barnett, The Pentagon's New Map
Lucinda Rosenfeld, Why She Went Home (reread, because at present I'm not at all happy with how the book ended, and maybe a second run-through will give me a different perspective)

The "Should Read" Queue
Miguel Cervantes, Don Quixote
Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy

Tool (The most aptly named band since Garbage.)

If Kirk appears on Enterprise, I will stop watching new Star Trek as long as Rick Berman is in charge. I swear on my honor.

Monday, July 5, 2004

Coach Krzykewski decided to stay at Duke. Gee, that's the freakin' shock. Seriously, who honestly thought Krzykewski would leave his beloved Cameron Crazies? Personally, I think the only people who thought this would happen were the fine folks in Chapel Hill, who are desperate to be rid of their nemesis.

Words You Never Want to Hear
"Either way, your seed dies with you."
Played Risk last night with the Guy and the Professor (it's neat when a friend you think is still out in California randomly shows up for One Night Only!). It was one of the longest, most bitterly contested games ever played by BTW. Nevertheless, when the guns fell silent, the Black Raj held illimitable dominion over all.


have a timid day.

Sunday, July 4, 2004

I spoke too soon, he did put up the "Don't Tread on Me" flag. *sigh* My only hope is that he doesn't think it means what I think it means.

Never judge a man by his titles, or lack of same. Augustus Caesar (born Gaius Octavius Thurinus), first Emperor of Rome, allowed himself to be known only as princeps, "first citizen," or primus inter pares, "first among equals." At the time of his death in 1997, Deng Xiaoping was absolute ruler of China. His only title was Honorary President of the China Bridge Association (bridge as in the card game).


Have a torpedo day.
Happy birthday, America! On this date in A.D. 1776, the human race declared that it would no longer be held under the sway of petty kings and tyrants; that only the consent of the people was a legitimate basis of government; and that if these inalienable rights ("unalienable"? screw you, Jefferson) were not given freely, they would be claimed by force of arms, even if that means a ragtag army from thirteen deeply divided colonies must fight the most powerful empire in the world. Today is America's day, but also a beacon for all the world. Happy birthday, baby, you're still beautiful after 228 years!

While making my dinner last night, I burned the top of my left hand. Geeze, if I was going to burn my hand, I would have preferred to have done it with a firecracker, rather than an oven. Then again, if I burned my hand doing something as simple as baking a frozen pizza, I probably would have blown the damn thing clean off with a firecracker.

Saturday, July 3, 2004

Faux Independence Day
I spoke with the Mountain this afternoon and he wished me a "Happy faux Independence Day!" It would seem that in the Town of Schroon (Schroon Lake sounds fine, but something really bugs me about the words Town of Schroon), the Independence Day parade is organized by a local organization known as the Word of Life Church. The Independence Day parade was held today, July 3. Last I checked, Independence Day is July 4. But it seems the Word of Life Jesus freaks object to holding the parade on a Sunday. Who the fuck do you assholes think you are? INDEPENDENCE DAY IS JULY 4! YOU KNOW, THE FOURTH OF JULY?! Gah! I live every day of my life in fear of eternal damnation and I thank the Almighty for His Grace and the promise of salvation, but I cannot tolerate those bastards perverting His commandment to mean they can't have an Independence Day parade on Independence Day. Word of Life? More like Word of Lies.

My father fixed our flagpole (actually, the problem was with the bracket that afixed the pole to our porch) today and Old Glory is now flying outside the house. Woo hoo! I was afraid he was going to fly his new "Don't Tread on Me" flag. I understand that it is a piece of American history, but I've never liked that flag. In almost every other reference in our culture, the snake is a symbol of evil. Thus the reason that it was never adopted as our national symbol. To me, the "Don't Tread on Me" flag today is only used by anarchists (Libertarians) and others radicals who inappropriately idealize the colonial period and Jefferson's anarchist streak. Great, not only is he a piece of Nazi filth, but now my dad's as crazy as his brother, Uncle Lin. Bloody hell.
Sometimes I worry that the only reason I'm friends with the Sardine is that I want to sleep with her. I mean I like her, but she also gets on my nerves. Maybe that's too harsh. But she has a very strange kind of persistantly low self-opinion, and I have no patience for it. The thing about Sardine is that she's not stunning. She's very cute in a timid, mousy kind of way, but normally I couldn't care less about cute. Pretty is great, I worship beauty, but I'm not very into cute. Yet, that's what she is. I can go for weeks without thinking about her once, but whenever we talk (usually through AIM) or especially when I see her, I am almost consumed by lust. In a manner entirely out of proportion with her attractiveness, both emotionally and physically speaking, I want her. And thus my concern.

"Scoring" is not my principle motivation in my dealings with the opposite sex. Were it so, I certainly would have strung Q-Girl along long enough to sleep with her, instead of bolting at the first sign or an ongoing relationship. So, it isn't my M.O. to "keep a girl around" just for my eventual sexual gratification, but my feelings for Sardine are so powerful and so transient as to arouse my own suspicion. In any event, we have plans for me to come down to Ann Arbor next weekend, at which point we'll go see Spider-Man 2 (apparently, she didn't think Spider-Man was anything special, and I'm trying to change her mind).
Spidey for Me
I saw Spider-Man 2 with the 'rents last night. Woo hoo! It was truly excellent. What really surprised me were the Sam Raimi moments. I mean, obviously, Mr. Raimi directed both Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 - and quite expertly at that - but the first movie was pretty straightlaced. Many other directors could have done a very similar job. Certainly, there were touches of pure Raimi - Bruce Campbell, that ugly yellow car, Ted Raimi - but only in Spider-Man 2 were there moments that only he could have done. The scene in the operating room was almost straight out of The Evil Dead. I won't say any more because I don't want to ruin anything for anyone who hasn't seen it, but you'll know what I'm talking about. Well, at least the Mountain will.

Spidey for Everyone
Spider-Man 2 features cameos or minor roles by:
Daniel Dae Kim!
Emily Deschanel!
Hal Sparks!
Phil Lamarr!
and returning as Betty Brant:
Elizabeth Banks!

Dashboard Confessional (Though I will admit that "Vindicated," which plays over the end credits of Spider-Man 2, is much better than the awful "Hero" heard over the end credits of the first movie.)
Have an alarming day.

Friday, July 2, 2004

I really should be in bed, because I have to get up early. But then again, no earlier than usual... and it's not like I'd be asleep were I in bed. So, I might as well talk to Sardine as she avoids packing for her weekend trip.

Thursday, July 1, 2004

My last final was on Tuesday (6.29) and my first class of the new semester isn't until Tuesday (7.6). It's cool being done for the day once I get out of work, very relaxing. It's important to enjoy it now, because beginning next week, Meine Vater is taking two weeks vacation. Presumably this is GM's annual summer shutdown? In any event, with a week in the hospital, then two weeks lazing about the house "recovering," then another week lazing about the house on vacation, he had a solid month away from work, then one week back, then two more off. Gee, with a tough schedule like that it makes perfect sense that he's so grouchy all the time. Jerk.

Beastie Boys

Have Custer's last day.
Disquieting Cold War Terminology
President of the United States = NCA (National Command Authority)