Monday, September 3, 2012

The Explorers' Club
№ CCXCIX - The "Treasury of Atreus," so named by the great Heinrich Schliemann.







The Victors
(№ 2) Alabama 41-14 Michigan (№ 8)
0-1, Big Ten 0-0

My initial reaction to the valiant Wolverines pre-season ranking in the top ten? I groaned, knowing we were doomed by ridiculously inflated expectations. I'm sure the first in-season poll will reflect a more sober analysis, if only in Michigan's case.

Why do I hate night games so very, very much? Reasons three: {one} the obliterate the familiar pace & time-tested rhythm of a football Saturday; {two} the nature of the media exploitation for a storied program that has played precious few night games, such as the valiant Wolverines, dramatically increases the chance that one or both teams will debut abominable gimmick jerseys, such as those Michigan wore last year against the vile Fighting Irish or last night against the epithetless Crimson Tide; & {three} the nature of the media exploitation also increases the chance that the night game will be called/ruined by the announcing team of Musburger & Herbstreit, who are like, to use The Guy's memorable phrase of some years ago, "verbal herpes." I am appalled that the valiant Wolverines are playing one quarter of their regular season games as odious night games.

Also, to the best of my knowledge, & I fancy myself a cartography aficionado, that neither the University of Michigan nor the University of Alabama is located in the State of Texas. Why, then, did those two colleges' football clubs contest a game in (New) Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas? Whilst we're on the subject, what business had the University of Notre Dame, located in South Bend, Indiana, & the United States Naval Academy, seated in Annapolis, Maryland, have contesting a game of American football in Dublin, Ireland? School colors are going the way of the buffalo (an outmoded idiom, since the buffalo population is waxing, but you take my meaning) & clubs are becoming geographically unhinged. College football is fast sinking into depravity & nihilism, & will be entirely unwatchable in five to ten years, mark my words.

As to the game itself, it went much as I expected, alas. The preponderance of evidence suggests that I was wrong in my assessment of Coach Brady Hoke's suitability to lead the valiant Wolverines. The '11 valiant Wolverines were the worst eleven-win club I've ever seen, but they still won eleven games. That is no mean feat given that Hoke had largely the same student-athletes Coach Rich Rodriguez could coach to, at best, mediocrity. Pleasantly surprising though Hoke's tenure has been, it was a fool's errand to pit us against the epithetless Crimson Tide of Coach Nick Saban, a.k.a. the Devil. The valiant Wolverines are notorious, under successive head coaches, for getting off to the slow start. That is why a few M.A.C. powderpuffs are scheduled at the beginning of the season, to allow the Michigan club to tune up before the start of the grueling Big Ten schedule & the drive for the conference championship. We stood only the most remote of chances against the Devil's Own, as we all knew based upon the surgical dismantling the epithetless Crimson Tide inflected upon the dastardly Spartans in their bowl game following the '10 regular season. We dishonored ourselves by whoring out our services to Jerry Jones & playing in his den of iniquity, but we did not dishonor ourselves on the field; we were beaten by a superior club, superior in preparation at the very least. The pageant of greed, shameful though it was, is behind us. The real season begins this coming Saturday in the "Big House," Michigan Stadium.

Go Blue!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Potshot, "End of the Long Summer" from Potshot A Go Go (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: 'Twas a cruel, hot summer, one I am glad is at last over. The summer was been far from joyless—I am blessed & loved, for all my sins—, but it was both cruel & hot. Will it be followed a long, hard fall?

Sonntag, 2 September
Fastball, "Out of My Head" from All the Pain Money Can Buy (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"Was I out my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?"


Samstag, 1 September
They Might Be Giants, "Your Racist Friend" from Flood (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."

Freitag, 31 August
Fitz & The Tantrums, "MoneyGrabber" from Pickin' Up the Pieces (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I began to think of "MoneyGrabber" on Thursday night, shortly after the conclusion of the Republican National Convention. I wasn't thinking of Governor Romney & Representative Ryan, but President Obama & Vice President Biden; "MoneyGrabber" is, after all, principally a song about kicking someone to the curb. The song, of course, is about a malicious paramour, not a political leader (& Fitz & The Tantrums' overtly political song, "Dear Mr. President," seems very pro-Obama), but it remained on my mind as my thoughts rested all day Friday on the prospects of defeating Messers. Obama & Biden this Election Day.

Let there be no doubt that while I like the song "MoneyGrabber," I despise the title "MoneyGrabber." It should be "Money Grabber" or "Money-grabber."

No comments: