Urbi et Orbi
'Tis a holy day of obligation, the Feast of All Saints. (All Saints' Day, or All Hallows, the Hallows of which Hallowe'en is the eve.) I suppose it was too much to expect that tonight's homily would touch upon, I don't know, sainthood or the lives of the saints. We must be patient with Father Anderson, he used to be a Protestant.

Vote for Kodos* | Obamboozled†
I have been more involved in the 2012 presidential campaign than in any other; I have precious little treasure to put to such use, so I have volunteered my time when I have been able, assisting in the organizing of public appearances by Governor Romney & working a 'phone bank of his, Representative Ryan's, & the whole G.O.P. ticket's behalf. I have lived through eight presidential elections: Reagan v. Carter in '80, Reagan v. Mondale in '84, Bush v. Dukakis in '88, Clinton v. Bush in '92, Clinton v. Dole in '96, Bush v. Gore in '00, Bush v. Kerry in '04, & Obama v. McCain in '08. (I do not yet count '12 because I've not yet lived through it; I could well drop dead betwixt now & Election Day.) I was a baby in '80 & a minor through '96, but I've been more involved this year than in any of the other elections of my adult years, '00, 04, & '08. I would attribute this to two factors, the first factor being my genuine enthusiasm for Messers. Romney & Ryan & my profound antipathy for President Obama & Vice President Biden, the second being regret for not having done more during any of the other elections.

In the days ahead, I will be laying out a few of the arguments for Mr. Romney's election & against Mr. Obama's re-election, but today our focus will be a curious encounter of mine own, my contribution to the global view of democracy in America. A week ago, Thursday, 25 October, I stopped by the Genesee County Victory Center to donate an hour or two to the 'phone bank before calling it a day & heading home. I was going about my not-as-unpleasant-as-you'd-think business when what appear suddenly before my eyes but a Norwegian television crew, a reporter & a cameraman. There was a minimum of explanation before I was roped into appearing on Norwegian television. The Romney staffer on duty indicated that he wasn't allowed to give such interviews & of the volunteers I was agreed to be the most articulate speaker/the only one not swift enough to call "not It." The reporter & I shook hands & he launched into conversation, asking me a few questions about the election: Why I supported Mr. Romney, why I didn't support Mr. Obama, how I thought the economy might be fixed. I answered him plainly, though taking pains not to play into the Europeans' stereotype of Republicans as the prosecutors of the Salem Witch Trials. After a couple minutes of this mostly one-sided conversation, we walked outside to "film" ("to tape" doesn't have quite the same cachet). In the shadows of the Grand Mall, for this was one of last week's sunny, unseasonably warm, almost spring-like days, when Hurricane Sandy was still swirling toward the Caribbean, the cameraman fetched his tripod from their rental car, handed the reporter a microphone with network badges (T.V. 2, I was to learn later), & we largely repeated the performance from a few moments earlier in the Victory Center. I assumed a calm, considerate, earnest demeanor, striving not to project any anger toward the president, but instead to portray him as a well-meaning but hapless man, a man who'd promised too much & didn't have the first clue how to achieve his own lofty goals. It went smoothly, & I think well. The Norwegians—at no point in any of this exchange did either proffer his name, & in my anxiety not to besmirch the image of the party & Mr. Romney I forgot to ask—were highly complimentary, comparing my responses favorably to many others they'd filmed. They seemed impressed when I told them I'd been on Jeopardy!, though I'd mentioned it not to impress them but as a way to explain my relative competence in front of the camera.

They won my eternal devotion with their unfavorable impressions of their recent visit to Ohio. Even strangers to this country can recognize almost immediately that there is something profoundly amiss with the Buckeye State! The Norwegians lavished praise upon the weather. I explained to them that this was unseasonably warm & sunny, but they didn't care. There was not yet any snow, as there already was back in Norway (Bergen, I suspect, due to later research), & so they were pleased as punch. We chatted about downtown Flint, which they'd already seen, & I elaborated upon how that area had been rejuvenated in the last ten years; I made comparisons to the cultural & sports corridor in downtown Detroit. We laughed at Ohio, & I explained about the bloodless war over the Toledo Strip. They compared Michigan & Ohio's enmity to Norway & Sweden's. The reporter & I discussed his perception, as a Norwegian journo, of certain Republican U.S. senators, & from vague recollections on his part I was able to identify both the late, unlamented Strom Thurmond (a former Democrat! I was at pains to point out) & the late, unlamented Jesse Helms (another former Democrat! I was again at paints to point out). They thanked me & again complimented my performance, I wished them good luck in their further travels, & with that they were gone.

The reporter had taken down my name, but I'd not asked either of their handles. After they'd gone, my fellow volunteers & I discussed the recent excitement. I knew nothing about those chaps, other than that they were a Norwegian television crew over here to cover the presidential election. I recalled the badges from the reporter's microphone; they born a stylized numeral 2. Once home, I typed "channel 2 norway" (yes, to my shame I didn't capitalize Norway) into the Bing search engine & was soon reading the Wikipedia page about Norway's biggest commercial television broadcaster, T.V. 2. Not long thereafter, I posted my most popular ever (twenty-one "likes") "status update" to the FaceSpace: "…was interviewed about the presidential election by Norway's TV 2. Soon I shall be an international sensation." I have no idea if my footage survived the cutting room floor, & my visit to the T.V. 2 website was unfruitful. (Interestingly, the Norwegian text was not the biggest obstacle to site navigation.) Did I make headlines in Norway? Have I turned Norwegian perceptions of the U.S. election upside down? I've no idea, though I tend to think not. That, dear readers, is the tale of my brush with international celebrity in the midst of the 2012 U.S. presidential election.

Next time: I meet a governor & am unfazed.

Looking ahead: 'phone banking isn't as much fun as real banking, but it has its charms; the best speech I've ever heard Mitt Romney give; street theater, or Chicago '68 this wasn't; threats of bodily harm from a minor celebrity.

*The title "Vote for Kodos" comes from an episode of The Simpsons that came out during the '96 campaign ("Treehouse of Horror VII," segment "Citizen Kang"). The alien conquerors Kang & Kodos kidnap & accidentally murder the Democratic & Republican presidential nominees, President Bill Clinton & Senator Bob Dole. Impersonating the candidates on the campaign trail, we are treated to such chestnuts as this excerpt from a stump speech: "We must move forward, not backwards; upwards, not forwards; and always twirling, twirling, twirling toward freedom!"

Near the end, the aliens are unmasked, but gloat that the horrified humans are powerless to save themselves, since it is a two-party system & the aliens head both tickets. When a voter pips up, "Maybe I'll vote for a third-party candidate," both Kang & Kodos roll their eyes & one says, drolly:

"Go ahead, throw your vote away!"

The election takes place & Kang wins. The humans are enslaved & when one of the Simpson family, Marge if memory serves, complains about their enslavement, Homer responds, "Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!" Because President Clinton won the '96 election in our world, & Kang won in the episode's world, I reasoned Kodos was playing the rôle of the defeated candidate, Senator Dole. Thus, "Vote for Kodos," my highly idiosyncratic call for all those reading those words to throw their support behind the G.O.P.

The same episode also contains this classic exchange:

Kodos (as Dole): "Abortions for none!"
Crowd: "Boo!"
Kodos (as Dole): "Abortions for all!"
Crowd: "Boo!"
Kodos (as Dole): "Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!"
Crowd, waving miniature American flags: "Yea!"

†"Obamboozled" has a far simpler genesis. Mr. Obama's surname & the word "bamboozle" share the consecutive letters B-A-M, & my sense has long been that a great many of those who voted for then-Senator Obama in '08 did so because they had been bamboozled into thinking he stood for their center/center-right views on fiscal policy & the rôle of government. Bamboozled by Obama, or "Obamboozled." (It's fun to say & fun to type!)

Lies, Damned Lies, & the News
B.B.C. News (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/) has been my internet "homepage" for more than a decade. However, I cannot but think that that time draws to an end. My issue is not that the B.B.C. has a profound left-wing bias; that has been the case since the beginning. My issue is that the B.B.C. has followed the lamentable trend of American journalism of acting with a clear political bias whilst pretending not to do so. Though I loathe all twenty-four-hour cable news, I have more respect for M.S.N.B.C. than I do for C.N.N. because with the "Lean Forward" branding M.S.N.B.C. is admitting to its operational bias; C.N.N. on the other hand, employs the likes of Anderson Cooper & Candy Crowley & yet pretends to be an objective new-gathering service. It is to laugh. One of the choices I am considering to replace B.B.C. News is The Economist's website; The Economist has recently endorsed President Obama's re-election, so politics are not at the heart of my disappointment in the B.B.C. The Economist does not pretend to be objective, it makes plain that it has an editorial viewpoint, proudly proclaiming itself "a liberal newspaper" (using the traditional, true definition of "liberal," not the ridiculous American conflation of liberal with "left-wing"). The B.B.C., by way of contrast, continues to operate as if it was one thing while insisting that it is another thing altogether. Nothing has yet been decided. I would be grateful for suggestions as to what a new homepage, dear readers. I thank you.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
They Might Be Giants, "The Shadow Government" from The Else (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The R.B.D.S.O.T.D. will be "political" through Election Day, so if you were looking for respite, then, friend, have you looked in the wrong place! Though, as "The Shadow Government" indicates, there's a reason I put political in quotation marks.

"Crawling out of the flophouse,
I saw the mayor stealing my junk,
I doth protest!
Citizen's arrest!
Now my body's in his trunk.

"Where's the shadow government when you need it?"