Tuesday, February 14, 2023

The Rebel Black Dot Song against Valentine's Day

"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Close but No Cigar" from Straight Outta Lynnwood (Mike Papa Whiskey)

Commentary:
"Jillian was her name,
She was sweeter than aspartame…
She was gorgeous, she was charming,
Yeah, she was perfect in every way,
Except she was always using the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why.

"And I told her, I said,
'Hey, are we playing horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are,
You're close, but no cigar'…

"Then I met sweet young Janet,
Prettiest thing on the planet…
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass,
I thought after all these years of searchin' around
I'd found my soul mate finally,
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of
Joe Dirt on DVD.

"Aw, no! I said,
'Hey, are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?'…

"Julie played water polo…
And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist?
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobberin' pig,
The only caveat is one of her ear lobes
Was just a little tiny bit too big.

I said,
'Hey, are we doin' government work here?'…"

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