Happy May Day! I am now and have always been a happy little capitalist, but I've always loved May Day. I despise labor, but I loved the parades the Soviets used to have. I was nine when the Berlin Wall fell and eleven when the CCCP finally disintegrated; so, for me the fall of Communism is a historical inevitability. I was never afraid of the Soviets the way my parents were. I was never afraid of the world ending in a thermonuclear holocaust. So, the Red Army, et al., being more of a historical curiosity than an unstoppable death machine, I love watching footage of the old May Day parades. All those old missiles and stern faced Politburo members are wicked retro. (I was born in 1979, I'm allowed to use "wicked.")