Julie said I should move to New York City. "Yeah, I know you'd be miserable here, but at least I'd be happy." Julie is so cool it's fucking unbelievable. Okay, seriously, if you were dating Julie, how could you ever fuck it up? How could you possibly think that there's any way something else would be better? Christ on a crutch, man, if you're lucky enough to have somone that wonderful in your life, you owe it not to yourself but to the Providence that supplied her not to screw it up. Some people are just idiots, mostly the morons who didn't realize what they had.

But, she's right, I do hate New York. It's nice to visit, but I'd be miserable there. Do you know why? Because New York is the Mike Wilson of cities, not nearly as cool as it thinks it is and when you get down to it, a real jerk.