There's a laundry list of items for today's blog; so, we're doing this the way Dan Rydell does Major League Soccer scores, as quickly as possible and with the suggestion, "Make the nets bigger."

REAL CAN OF YAMS! If you are reading this, you are invited to rock your ass off with Real Can of Yams on Monday, December 30, at The Flint Local 432. We're a really good live act, dedicated to showmanship and the proposition that your fun must be paramount. Plus, some other good bands will be there, like the Bald Mountain's side project The Old Hats and GB superband Tommy's Frogs, the night's headliners. Email me for directions or if you're willing to come to Ann Arbor, I'll give you a ride. Seriously.

I use aftershave and Old Spice is my brand. My dad uses and both grandpas used Old Spice, so until recently it never even occured to me to try another aftershave. However, recently I was told I'm too young for Old Spice; so, not that I'm necessarily going to change, but does anybody have any recommendations? (Yeah, I know, if I'm going to be asking these sorts of questions, I really should add a commenting feature. I'm mulling it over.)

My Whole Life Is Here. I've lived in Ann Arbor for five years. I know so many people here sometimes it feels like high school. On Tuesday night, after an Animania postering mission, Snarky treated his roommate El Presidente, their mutual roommate Slim, Latrice, and me to dinner at Pizza House. A good time was had by all. As soon as we arived, we saw two of our fellow Animania staff members out on a clandestine date; a surprise to the others, I'd known about the affair through Bachelorette No.3. So, not only can I not enter a restaurant without seeing someone I know, it's hard to see anyone I know without it becoming fodder for some kind of gossip. Adding to this, our table was visited by Nancy (whose last name I will certainly misspell, so I shan't even make the attempt), a GBHS alumna. She posed the odd question, "Do you still like Grand Blanc?" Yesterday, I addressed a several day-old craving for a burger by having lunch at the Brown Jug. Of course, halfway through my meal who should be seated at the table next to mine but fellow lifeguard Jodi the Crazy Girl, who reminded me that I still owe her dinner. (As as aside, the debt will be settled Friday night, but don't bother asking why I owe her dinner because I honestly don't have a clue.) I cannot enter a restaurant without seeing someone I know. Given the pervasive loneliness that will define my life in a scant few months, I suppose I should be grateful for this familiarity and camraderie. Still, I miss my anonymity.

I'm crushing pretty hard on a girl right now, but I know I can't do anything about it; so, I think it's actually helping. On a related note, from now until she arrives, I'm going to try to adopt an anti-Lindsay stance. I'm going to try to hold in mind all the things I don't like about her, like all the unfounded assumptions she makes about me. That she adores her boyfriend's guitar playing, but I'm "trying to still be in high school" because of RCY. The greatest plan know to Mankind? I have my doubts, but none of my other schemes have propered; so, I can't see the harm in making a go at this one.

Tomorrow is Star Trek: Nemesis. This close to it, I'm not apprehensive about this plot element or excited about that plot element, I'm just giddy because tomorrow there's a new Star Trek movie! Yippy! The Bald Mountain, Neutral Man, the Flying Dutchman, and I are going tomorrow evening... maybe the Plate, too; anybody else is welcome to come. If nothing else, at least Nemesis won't have space-hippies like Insurrection.