The Victors: Halftime - Utah 22-10 Michigan
Holy moley. I will give a case of beer - your choice of brand - to whomever ensures that Nick "Suddenly I Miss John Navarre" Sheridan never plays another single down for the valiant University of Michigan Wolverines. Utah should have had, what, four interceptions? We are so, so lucky that Sheridan only threw one, even though that was one of the worst interceptions I've ever seen. To whom exactly was Nick the Prick throwing? Can anyone on the face of the earth answer that question, because from where I sat the only people anywhere near the spot to which he threw were Utah defenders. Dear Bog, we are in so much trouble.

Official prediction: we will be extremely fortunate to win six games this season. This is so much worse than I ever imagined. Fielding Yost's ghost, we're doomed.