Project GLOWWORM or He's Dead, Jim?
Since acquiring my new spectacles in October, I've worn them an average of between two & three days per week. This frequency has been facilitated by the grays skies of the fall & winter, as I do not need to switch back & forth between my spectacles & my $10 filling-station imitation Wayfarer sunglasses for motoring (my eyes are quite sensitive to the rays of the Accursed Sun). And rest assured, gentle readers, the Secretary of State of the State of Michigan has reaffirmed as recently as September that I do not require corrective lenses to operate a motorcar. But this does raise a question: Am I a poser for ever wearing my spectacles in public? I do not need spectacles to function, but they are legitimately-prescribed spectacles, not a costume piece. But am I treating them as a costume piece? I function without my spectacles by virtue of the crystal-clear vision from my left eye compensating for the nearsighted fuzziness from my right eye; what I need then are not spectacles but a monocle, but we can all agree that at this early stage of Project GLOWWORM my wardrobe is not up to snuff with sporting a monocle. Years ago, when I saw a monocled man in the lobby of the Empire State Building, from head to toe he looked every inch a monocle-wearing man; I dare not strive for less.
I was prompted to visit the optometrist (my eyes' physician is more than an optician, but I do not know if he could accurately be characterized as an ophthalmologist) by two incidents in which causes unknown—though low light is suspected—caused a temporary blurring in the vision from my left eye, but the condition had not recurred for months before I finally visited the optometrist, nor at any time since, regardless of the presence or absence of my spectacles. And I put to the optometrist the specific question of whether allowing my dominant left eye to remain dominant was adversely effecting the eye, to which he replied in the negative. There is thus no medical necessity to wearing my spectacles ("He's Dead, Jim"); so, does that place their usage squarely & solely in the realm of style (Project GLOWWORM)? They are prescription spectacles, & when removing them after prolonged usage my vision requires a few minutes to adjust back to normal. I quite enjoy closing my left eye & being able to see sharply objects more than a foot or so away with my right eye. I am the only member of my immediate family who does not require corrective lenses for everyday living & I have long assumed 'twas only a matter of time 'til that was no longer true. Am I wearing my spectacles so often to prepare for that eventuality? Or because I like the way they look & like the way I look in (& through) them? I've no answer. Thoughts?
Project GLOWWORM
A month ago, after four months of unrestrained growth, I maimed my beard in an attempt to impose order upon its unruly magnificence. This was necessary, though the precise outcome was unfortunate. (The nice thing about hair is that in the fullness of time it grows back.) My beard is now back to a presentable length; the experimentation to find the ideal, sustainable length continues, a task I never encountered during the Banzai Beard Bonanza II. With my moustache, I am encountering the difficulties I found in the latter stages of the Magnificent Moustache Malarkey, namely the asymmetry of the flying handlebars—the left inverted gull wing tends to flatten out compared to the rounder curl of the right—& the regular trimming necessary to keeping the hairs out of my mouth & maintain the aspect I want. A few more weeks of growth are necessary before we reach the maximum limits seen during the Malarkey, & as with the beard the process of finding the ideal, sustainable length will be ongoing. I've not used the moustache wax since the Malarkey, but its return cannot be too distant in the future.
I love my moustache. I also love not shaving, but that doesn't make the love of my moustache any less genuine.
The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Reel Big Fish, "All I Want is More" from Turn the Radio Off (T.L.A.M.)
2 comments:
My glasses might not have always been entirely necessary, but they always made my vision better. If you can have better, than why not?
I sometimes wear fake glasses for purely aesthetic purposes. I suppose that's a luxury the privileged souls with perfect vision get to indulge in, while those permanently bespectacled narrow their weak eyes at us ;)
I guess that's sort of like how crutches look SOOO fun when you're a kid. I spent six weeks on them recently and can tell you that they aren't, unless you like underarm chafe, the inability to carry anything, and your hands getting sore from gripping them. Among other annoyances.
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