The Victors
(№ 21) Mississippi State 52-14 Michigan
7-6, Big Ten 3-5

I've tarried too long already, but now belatedly comment upon the fiasco of the Gator Bowl, the firing of Rich Rodriguez, & the future of Michigan football under Brady "Is this a ƒ#*@ing joke?" Hoke.

The Fiasco
Hope springs eternal*, & in the early stages of the game I was thrilled to see Shoelace return to his demigodlike early-season form, slashing through the epithetless Bulldogs' defense with aplomb. But then stark reality reared its ugly head, & woe became the order of the day. No coach should ever be hired or fired on the basis of a single game, but the disaster of New Year's Day 2011 can be viewed as the entire Rodriguez era in a nutshell. "Misery, misery, misery."

The rest of the day was awful, too, football-wise, with the Big Ten being defeated in game after game after game. The only bright spot was the destruction of the dastardly Spartans at the hands of the devil Saban. {1} Big Ten loyalty has never applied to Michigan State, because that jumped-up vocational school is not up to par with the academically rigorous rest of the conference. (The University of Nebraska—Lincoln, the forthcoming twelfth member of the Big Ten, is rather a good school & will be a welcome addition to the Committee on Institutional Cooperation, the academic counterpart to the athletic Big Ten.) {2} More importantly, it was right & proper for the dastardly Spartans to suffer at the hands of their former coach, & so gain of measure of understanding of what the rest of the conference went through when the devil Saban held infernal sway in East Lansing. The dastardly Spartans were only too happy to be in league with the devil Saban when it suited their purpose; I derived more than a little pleasure at their utterly dismantling by the devil Saban's epithetless Crimson Tide.

The Firing
I've been saddened over the last three years to see the venomous insularity of my fellow Michigan fans in their attitudes toward Rich Rod; we revealed ourselves to be as small-minded & hateful as our rivals often accuse us of being. But my purpose here is not to search our collective soul for the better angels I pray are hidden somewhere in our nature.

I'm sorry to say it, but Rich Rod had to go. I write that not because of his 15-22 record in three seasons at Michigan (.405, the lowest winning percentage of any head coach in Michigan's one-hundred-thirty-plus-year history), but because of the way in which he lead us to that lowly record. Each year of Coach Rodriguez's tenure saw our defensive performance drop precipitously, until this year we fielded the statistically-worst defense in that same one-hundred-thirty-plus-year history. One is tempted to reach the conclusion that Rodriguez consistently forgot that he was Michigan's head coach & acted on the presumption that he was only the offensive coordinator, with no rôle to play in our defensive or special teams units. One is doubly tempted to reach that conclusion because otherwise the incompetence Rodriguez displayed in the selection & supervision of his defensive & special teams staff beggars credulity. The single best argument for firing Rodriguez is that he did not fire defensive coordinator Greg Robinson the day after the debacle against the hated Buckeyes, nor in the aftermath of the disaster against Mississippi State; this raises the terrible specter of Robinson having been retained, in all his gross incompetence, had Rodriguez himself been retained, & that is a fate too horrible to contemplate. Rich Rod had to go, & though I was at first confused by the timing of the firing, I support Athletic Director Brandon's explanation of why that didn't take place until after the Gator Bowl: for the kids, so that the coaching search wouldn't overshadow their bowl experience.

I supported Coach Rodriguez throughout his three-year tenure, featuring the Shepard Fairey-inspired image below as my Farcebook portrait throughout the fall.



But his utter mismanagement/neglect of the defense & the special teams made untenable his continuation as Michigan's head coach. Apparently, having a stylized image of yourself affixed above the word "Hope" is a surefire indicator of the base falseness of the hope you offer.

The Future
Perhaps I am overly influenced by Brian Cook of MGoBlog.com, but as late as 3 January (before Rodriguez was officially fired) I was ridiculing my Uncle Jim's suggestion that Brady Hoke be named the next Head Coach of Michigan football. Though he himself attended the University of Cincinnati, my uncle, as a native Ohioan, supports the hated Buckeyes; he was a high school wrestling teammate of Hoke, & remains personally acquainted with our new big cheese. As soon as Hoke's hiring was announced, my uncle declared that 1 January 1998 (the day of valiant Wolverines' won the 1997 National Championship with their 21-16 victory over Washington State in the Rose Bowl) was (sic) "the peek of the UofM football program." (I suppose that he meant the "peak" of our football program, since "peek" doesn't make much sense in that context; the man does support the hated Buckeyes, so you have to presume he's all but illiterate). That bit of uncouth mockery was more than enough for me to "de-friend" my uncle on the Farcebook. The man's an ass—not just because of this, he's always been an ass—& I'll be quite happy to go the rest of my life without ever again being subjected to his abrasive personality.

A fortnight later, I am reconciled to Hoke's hiring, both as a fait accompli & because it has quelled, at least for the nonce, the bitter internecine quarreling that marked the Rodriguez era. But while I am hoping for the best, I am preparing myself for the worst. After all, whatever glowing praise Hoke receives from former Michigan players & coaches, his resume does not inspire confidence: in eight seasons as a head coach (six at Ball State in Indiana, two at San Diego State in California), he's coached five losing seasons to only three winning seasons (& one of those was a paltry 7-6) for a cumulative head coaching record of 47-50. For those of you keeping score at home, 47-50 is a losing record. Hoke does boast a winning record in his two seasons at San Diego State, a breathtaking 13-12. The man's clearly a titan in his field.

But for all that, I am not going to be like those rat bastards who damned Rich Rodriguez from the day he was hired & didn't quit damning him 'til he was fired. I'm a craven wretch, but I'll not sink to the same subterranean level as those finks. For good or for ill, Brady Hoke is Head Coach of the valiant Wolverines, & he has both my support & my best wishes for the years ahead. We will be Michigan again, & those who stay will be champions. Go Blue!



The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Superchunk, "Animated Airplanes Over Germany" via iTunes (The Guy)

Commentary: Keep those nominations coming!

*The turn of phrase "hope springs eternal" was chosen long before Brady Hoke was named the valiant Wolverines' new head coach, bringing along with him innumerable & inevitable repetitions of the pun "Hoke springs eternal," which currently adorns the banner atop MGoBlog.com.