Tuesday, December 5, 2006

The Stars My Destination
Lunarlink. Say it with me, Moonbase. Moooooooonbase. Ye gods, Jasper was right, "What a time to be alive." Meanwhile, as square-jawed Americans prepare to laugh in the face of danger and spit in the face of death aboard the always spectacular Moonbase (How do you get to the Moonbase? Orion!), our haughty European friends are contemplating sending defenseless tulips to face the peril: tuliplink. For crying out loud, what kind of men hide behind tulips? So, while we act like space cowboys and man our mighty Moonbase, Europe will be sending delicate tulip bulbs, each bearing a daintily lettered ribbon, "I claim this land in the name of Spain."

A dated reference, I know, but all your Moonbase are belong to us. And the Moonbase is a gift that keeps on giving, because once NASA has it up and running, we can finally crown Al Gore's Head as the first Emperor of the Moon. "I have ridden the mighty Moon worm."

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