The Gnomes of Zurich
It turns out the Swiss have grown so comfortable with running their country off plundered Jewish gold, which is presumably "buried" in the vaults of the secretive bankers of Zurich, long nicknamed the "gnomes of Zurich," that they decided to bury their entirely cowardly populace in the event of a doomsday war between those who had had the courage to fight the Nazis, the United States and the Western allies and the Soviet Empire. Gnomelink.

The Cold War
The good old days are here again: Sovietlink? More likely, even a decade and a half after the collapse of the Soviet Union, the Russians' pride is still hurting. The Russians are a proud, brutal people, still coming to terms with the notion that, really, theirs is a backwards country with almost more in common with the Third World than with the affluent Western democracies. So, bully for Secretary Gates for recognizing that Putin needs to puff himself up now and again and for not taking the Russian bluster too seriously.

Seriously, though, if those punks get out of line we can still come down on them like a ton of bricks. We beat the vaunted Soviet Union like a drum, chumps, we'd have no trouble crushing the rotting husk that is modern-day Mother Russia.