There is much to like about the television sitcom New Girl beyond the pulchritude of this feature's eponymous subject, such as the terrifying parallels 'twixt your humble narrator & the character Nick Miller (played by Jake Johnson). That said, in last night's episode the character Jessica Day (played by Zooey Deschanel) made a sly but not subtle reference to the show's use of sex appeal to draw in the viewer. She said, "Yeah, I know nothing about men, that's why I'm wearing a short skirt and wool leggings." Just sos we all know where we stand.
I'm dismissive of "true crime" stories & the "trial-of-the-century"-of-the-year mania to which the blighted Fourth Estate repetitively submits, but even I cannot deny that there is something fascinating about a proper heist: Diamonds are forever-link! Which is not to say that I do not wish the thieves to be caught & punished in a most draconian fashion. My fascination should not be mistaken for admiration.
"The weed of crime bears bitter fruit!"
—The Shadow
This Week in Motorsport
This week's "This Week in Motorsport" wraps up our coverage of the winter off-season racing season. There is some N.A.S.C.A.R. buffoonery this weekend, but the next race in which I have even the slightest interest isn't for almost a fortnight. The next World Rally Championship rally isn't for over almost weeks, with the 12 Hours of Sebring (the A.L.M.S. season-opener) & the year's first Formula One grand prix a week after that, & the first IndyCar race a week after that. Enjoy the break before the season proper starts next month.
Tourists
World Touring Car Championship
Rounds 23 & 24
Race of Macau
Sunday, 18 November 2012
The season-ending pair of races in Macau were for all the marbles. Rob Huff of Chevrolet entered with a healthy lead over his rivals/teammates reigning triple World Champion Yvan Muller ('08, '10, & '11) & Alain Menu, but anything could happen on the tortuous streets of the Macau Special Administrative Region (like the Hong Kong S.A.R., Macau is ruled by the People's Republic of China under the "one country, two systems" doctrine). Huff started from the pole & was leading the first race by a comfortable when all on his own he collided with a wall, severely deranging his car's suspension. He limped his Cruze back to the pits & scored no points. Meanwhile, a massive pile-up at the insanely tight Lisboa corner held up the majority of the field, letting the leading half-dozen cars streak into the distance. Muller won the race with Menu second & Tiago Monteiro of Honda a surprise third, in only the Civic's third W.T.C.C. weekend. In the second race, featuring an inverted starting grid, the Chevy trio started eighth, ninth, & tenth but managed to finish first, second, & third—Menu, Huff, & Muller. Rob Huff is the 2012 World Touring Car Champion! Menu was runner-up with Muller in third, poetic given Muller's responsibility for effectively ending Menu's championship bid at the previous rounds, in Shanghai. Huff claimed five victories over the season, down on both Menu's six & Muller's nine, but finished the year with more points—& the world championship—due to his superior consistency, not winning as many races but scoring points more consistently than either of the fiery Francophones.
The Macau Grand Prix is an ancient (as these things go) festival of racing, featuring multiple classes over the course of a weekend, from Formula 3 single-seaters to the World Touring Cars to motorcycles & nearly everything else under the Accursed Sun. The Guia Circuit is quite long for a street circuit, a lap being nearly four miles. 'Tis a proper circuit, comparing favorably with the Circuit de Monaco, the most iconic & idiosyncratic of all racing circuits. The marshals & their cranes were incredibly quite to clear up the first-lap kerfuffle, again comparing favorably to the legendary Monaco marshals. Mayhap being wee, oddball polity is the key to having a spectacular street circuit? Either way, Macau looks a grand place to race.
Next: The 2013 W.T.C.C. begins at Monza with the Race of Italy in March. I've no idea if/when television coverage will be broadcast in the U.S.A.
The German N.A.S.C.A.R.
Deutsche Tourenwagen Masters (German Touring Car Masters)
Round 1
Hockenheimring, Race 1 (Germany)
Sunday, 29 April 2012
Round 2
EuroSpeedway Lausitz (Germany)
Sunday, 6 May 2012
Round 3
Brands Hatch, Indy Circuit (England)
Sunday, 20 May 2012
Round 4
Red Bull Ring (Austria)
Sunday, 3 June 2012
Round 5
Norisring (Germany)
Sunday, 1 July 2012
Round 6
Nürburgring (Germany)
Sunday, 19 August 2012
Round 7
Zandvoort Circuit (The Netherlands)
Sunday, 26 August 2012
Round 8
Motorsport Arena Oschersleben (Germany)
Sunday, 23 September 2012
Round 9
Circuit Ricardo Tormo (Spain)
Sunday, 30 September
Round 10
Hockenheimring, Race 2 (Germany)
Sunday, 21 October 2012
The D.T.M. was the least of Speed's off-season offerings. This is curious given that it is likely also the most popular of the four. "The German N.A.S.C.A.R." surely seems harsh, given my well-documented disdain for the National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing's principal offering, the (sponsor) Cup Series (shorthanded as "N.A.S.C.A.R." for brevity/clarity), but it is fair on two important counts. The D.T.M., like N.A.S.C.A.R., is immensely popular in its native country. (I find the popularity of both inexplicable, but set that aside as an overly subjective criteria.) Also like N.A.S.C.A.R., the D.T.M. occupies an unholy middle ground 'twixt a one-make "spec" series & a formula-based open series. The cars used in the D.T.M. are not identical spec cars, but the formula by which their different manufacturers produce them is so restrictive that they might as well be. In addition, despite being made by three different manufacturers--Audi, B.M.W., & Mercedes-Benz--the cars share many identical components, like in a spec series. Each manufacturer is responsible for some parts that go in the other two factories' cars. By way of example, though not necessarily accurate one, Audi might make the suspension bits that we be in stalled in its cars plus those of B.M.W. & Mercedes-Benz; B.M.W. might make the fuel delivery system that goes into all three makes' cars. The real kicker comes in the restrictiveness of the formula. A genuine case arose this year, B.M.W.'s first back in the sport after an absence of many years (spent focused on, amongst other series, Le Mans, which a B.M.W. won overall in 1999, & Formula One, where B.M.W. competed 'til 2009 as first an engine supplier & later a full constructor): B.M.W. built a V8 engine, as specified by the series, but had to make the engine physically larger than necessary in order to comply with the regulations. Legislating the maximum displacement & number of combustion chambers is, for good or ill, nigh-universal across contemporary motorsport. This was the first time I'd ever heard of the external dimensions of the engine being prescribed. All series balance performance in search of closer competition, but this goes too far. If B.M.W. can make an engine with the same displacement & theoretical output as Audi's & Mercedes-Benz's but a smaller overall size, thereby gaining B.M.W. a performance advantage by reducing the weight of the engine, why shouldn't they be allowed to pursue that avenue of advantage? Force the others to innovate to keep up. If you don't want any individual make to have that kind of performance advantage, why not just have everyone drive identical cars, as in a spec series? There are advantages to both open formulae & closed specifications in racing series; the D.T.M. maximizes the disadvantages of both in a single package.
The racing was O.K., but not as entertaining as the World Touring Car Championship, the British Touring Car Championship, or the G.T.1 World Championship. The biggest problem was the fragility of the cars. I like my racing clean, meaning free of contact—one of the many things I dislike about N.A.S.C.A.R.—but I also like a machine that can, to borrow Timex's old slogan, "Take a licking & keep on ticking." The D.T.M. machinery were the most fragile car I've ever seen, & that includes the open-wheeled machines—supposed to be the least hardy in motorsport—used in F1 & IndyCar. The drivers behaved as if they were in a more rough & tumble touring car series, but as soon as contact was made cars immediately retired with bodywork & mechanical damage. Every malfunction meant immediate retirement, the worst I'd ever seen. In F1 & Indycar, where contact is almost universally a hindrance, cars come into the pits to have their front wing/nose cone assemblies replaced. This is the only feasible repair to keep a car competitive, as anything more extensive would take too long, but that front-end change cures innumerable ills. In G.T. or touring car racing, bodywork is routinely mangled by ill-advised, overly ambitious moves, & the cars simply continue. In shorter races, you soldier on; in endurance races, you bite the bullet, make the necessary repairs, & try to earn the time back on track. The D.T.M. cars combined the fragility of open-wheeled machinery with the time-consuming repairs of road-based machinery. Once again, the worst of both worlds.
I watched the D.T.M. because it was on & not much other racing was, because it was just as easy to watch both the D.T.M. & G.T.1 since I'd already be sitting down to watch G.T.1. In the first few races, I was curious, since I know that the D.T.M. is highly popular & highly regarded, home to both former & future F1 pilots. This worked against the D.T.M., since I'd dislike it less if it was just lame; instead, it's both lame & unjustifiably popular, a poisonous combination. My dad & I missed the season finale at Hockenheim because of a D.V.R. snafu, but that's no huge loss. (With Comcast, "all fouled up" is "situation normal.") The best part of the whole season was getting to see the Red Bull Ring, the old Österreichring that used to host the F1 Austrian Grand Prix. That is a great circuit! I would love to see more racing series visit the Red Bull Ring. Österreich is now two-for-two, since the Salzburgring, site of the W.T.C.C.'s Race of Austria, is also wicked sweet. Also, it's always nice to see Dr. Wolfgang Ullrich, the stone-faced boss of Audi, standing in the pits. So, some good came out of the incredibly overrated D.T.M., but given my druthers I'd watch a good dozen other motor racing series before settling for the D.T.M.
The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Soulutions, "Do Right" from The Aquabats! and Horchata Records Present… Rice Capades Music Sampler, Vol. 1 (Captain Thumbs Up)
Commentary:
"Be good, do right,
Be kind to that beautiful girl,
Hold her close, tell her why
That you want to be a part of her world,
Don't be scared, do be fair,
Try to laugh about the worries and cares,
Give her life, give a smile,
Don't be cruel to that beautiful girl."
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