The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
J. J. Heller, "Save Me" from Painted Red (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"Danger! The world is full of danger,
But if I never try to go outside my heart will waste away…"

Project PANDORA

There are currently underway amongst the Holy Redeemer parishioners of my acquaintance no fewer than three separate efforts to set me up on a date, & ultimately to find me a wife. The first, announced some weeks ago, is the solo project of Brother Juliet Lima, a fellow of Cosmo Kramer's "unbridled enthusiasm;" he reports some difficulties in establishing direct contact with the intended match. I stumbled, almost literally, into the second yesterday, when two of the ladies in my Marian consecration group were apparently talking over the case before I entered the room; the intended match is "lovely, inside & out," & both ladies positively swooned when I said, "I'd be honored." (The poetry therein is that one of those ladies is the mother of Charlie Romeo, on whom I had a slight crush before she left on this summer's mission trip.) The third is the work of Brother Santa's daughter, Papa Bravo (née Hotel), who was working behind the scenes 'til he revealed the scheme this evening; her progress or lack of same is unknown. I am blessed & bemused to be part of such a community.

It has often aggrieved me, my inability to find & woo The Last Angry Bride, but in latter days a calm has come upon me, as I've realized that heretofore I've not been anywhere the near the man I need to be to be worthy of her whom I've loved as an idea instead of as a flesh & bone girl. I've wanted a godly woman as the mother of my longed-for children, but I've sought her in all the wrong places, pursued her as the wrong kind of fellow. Success is far from assured, & in this as in all thing His will be done no matter what that means for me, but the many kind persons playing matchmaker have opened my eyes to a new perspective on things that had dawned on me, but which I had been too blind to see.



The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
MxPx, "Punk Rawk Celebrity" from Secret Weapon (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: A fitting companion to yesterday's R.B.D.S.O.T.D., "Top of the Charts," "Punk Rawk Celebrity" also happens to be the very next track on Secret Weapon.

"You've made such a big mess,
But let's call it success.
You've made such a big mess,
Let's just call it success,
But we all know, (we all know,)
We all know, we all know you…"

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
MxPx, "Top of the Charts" from Secret Weapon (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: There are many songs denouncing the corrosive effects of celebrity culture on Western civilization, but MxPx, authors of an unrelated song titled "The Downfall of Western Civilization," are masters of the form.

"'Cause everybody wants to be a big celebrity.
Everybody wants to win the lottery,
And everybody wants to be like the people on T.V.,
Everybody wants to see the show for free.
From the bottom of our hearts
To the top of the charts…"

Operation ÖSTERREICH

Fortnightly Weigh-in: In the last two weeks I have lost two point four pounds (2.4 lbs.), dropping from three hundred forty-seven pounds (347.0 lbs.) to three hundred forty-four point six pounds (344.6 lbs.). I'd like to have done better, but clearly didn't put in the work necessary for more satisfactory progress. Nonetheless, this weigh-in's results are not so bad, considering that for the last fortnight I was on a major & mysterious (read: unprecedented) Hot Pockets binge, eating a boatload of the accursed things & constantly recalling Jim Gaffigan hilariously & creepily intoning, "Hot Pockets!"

At last weekend's farewell party for Juan Love (departing to serve our great republic in her Navy), Red Patton observed that he'd been sporadically perusing The Secret Base & was shocked by the previous "Operation ÖSTERREICH" post, specifically by my titanic weight. Red Patton is himself a giant Portuguese Adonis, & a bewhiskered Adonis at that, at least in small part thanks to my influence, I am proud to report. He would never have guessed that I weigh as much as I do, & said that I carry my weight well. The only other men he's known of a similar weight were much more corpulent & much less agile. This confirms something of my own observations, for I know a fellow from the K. of C. who purports to weigh forty pounds less than me, yet appears to be much more rotund, much more obese. (Then again, in my dreams I am always much thinner than I have ever been in my adult life, so I cannot claim to have an exceptionally accurate self-image.)

ÖSTERREICH continues to bear fruit, & would do so more abundantly were I more disciplined. Onward!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
MxPx, "Yuri Wakes Up Screaming" from the Renaissance E.P. (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Yuri Ruley is the drummer of MxPx.

"Yuri wakes up screaming,
Yuri wakes up screaming,
Oh, Yuri wakes up screaming.
Yuri must be dreaming
When Yuri wakes up screaming.

"Yuri wakes up screaming,
Yuri wakes up screaming,
Oh, Yuri wakes up screaming.
Oh, Yuri must be dreaming.

"Yuri wakes up screaming,
Yuri wakes up screaming,
Yuri must be dreaming
When Yuri wakes up screaming.

"Yuri needs a lot of sleep,
Yuri needs a lot of sleep,
Yuri needs a lot of sleep,
Or he might die!
Or he might die!"

The Explorers' Club, № CCCXCVIII

The "Unicorn Throne" of Denmark.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
(A) New Found Glory, "All About Her" from New Found Glory (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I think I might be in trouble. Am I in trouble? I think I'm in trouble.

"I know it might come out wrong, but I want it to:
Another chance to fight, another way to make it right.

"So forget all of your chances,
It's up to you to follow through.
Forget the way she was,
'Cause it's the things she does—

"That make me sing about her.
She knows I care about her.
She said, 'Be gentle, boy,
'You show a lack of character'…"

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Lyle Workman, "Flashback Party Weekend" from Superbad: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (T.L.A.M.)

Project MERCATOR

Dan Potthast
w/The Revelry, Little American Champs, & It's a Secret
Sadie Lee House, Flint
Friday, 20 June 2014

What a weird but ultimately satisfactory night. I am still puzzled as to why Dan Potthast, the frontman of Mu330, A.K.A. "Dan Posthaste" & "Steve Roelle, the missing Roelle brother," wasn't playing at The Flint Local 432. I shall have to remember to pose the question to Joel, the Local's proprietor.

I spent a substantial portion of this afternoon & well into this evening at the Chevy House, at a going-away party for Juan Love, who has recently enlisted in the United States Navy & is soon bound for boot camp. More to follow.

Very early this morning, because I had to be in Howell by 9:00 A.M. for a K. of C. function, I meet a brother Knight at a coney island for breakfast, at his invitation. He was half an hour late. I thought that was rather rude.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
MxPx, "Party II (Time to Go)" from the Renaissance E.P. (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I thought about choosing one of Mr. Potthast's songs, but with attending a show in a residential house's basement last night & the party at the Chevy House today, today was more about parties than Potthast.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
"Weird Al" Yankovic, ""Virus Alert" from Straight Outta Lynnwood (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I forget what precisely, but a recent news item advised overreactions so extreme & superfluous that I could not help but be reminded of "Virus Alert."

"Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please:
Really wanna give you a warning 'cause I found out this morning
About a dangerous, insidious computer virus.
If you should get any mail with the subject 'Stinky Cheese,'
Better not for taking no chances, under no circumstances
Should you open it or else it will—

"Translate your documents into Swahili,
Make your T.V. record Gigli,
Neuter your pets and give your laundry static cling.

"(Look out!)
It's gonna make your computer screen freeze,
(Look out!)
Erase the Easter eggs off your D.V.D.s,
(Look out!)
Erase your hard drive and your backups, too,
And the hard drive of anyone related to you!

"Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody.

"Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls,
It'll make your keyboard all sticky, give your poodle a hicky,
And invest your cash in stock in EuroDisney.
Then, it will tie up your 'phone making prank long-distance calls,
It'll set your clocks back an hour, and start clogging the shower,
So just trash it now or else it will—

"Decide to give you a permanent wedgie,
Legally change your name to Reggie,
Even mess up the P.H. balance in your pool!

"(Look out!)
It's gonna melt your face right off your skull,
(Look out!)
And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull,
(Look out!)
And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep,
(Look out!)
And make you physically attracted to sheep,
(Look out!)
Steal your identity and your credit cards,
(Look out!)
Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards,
(Look out!)
Then cause a major rift in time and space
And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place!

"That's right, it's a
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody.
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody,
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody,
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now!

"If you get infected you'll wish you had never been born,
So before it emails your grandmother all of your porn:
Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down,
Drop it in a forty-three-foot hole in the ground,
Bury it completely, rocks and boulders should be fine,
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn anytime you were online.

"Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody.
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody.
Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody,
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody,
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now!

"What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know.
Hit 'Send' right now!"

No good deed goes unpunished. By no means should this dissuade one from performing good deeds, for we each & every one of us have a sacred duty to do all the good we can, I simply wish one to perform good deeds with one's eyes open. Try to be of good cheer, but never forget that no good deed ever goes unpunished.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Tennessee Ernie Ford, "Sixteen Tons" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: As far as I can recall, I was introduced to "Sixteen Tons" by the feature film Joe Versus the Volcano.

"You load sixteen tons, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
Saint Peter, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go:
I owe my soul to the company store…

"If you see me coming, better step aside.
A lot of men didn't, a lot of men died.
One fist of iron, the other of steel;
If the right one don't get you then the left one will…"

The Explorers' Club, № CCCXCVII

Swinhay House, a vanity project/folly known to this author as Sherlock's Appledore.









The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
MxPx, "Angels" from Secret Weapon (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"Where angels carry me along the way,
Where I can close my eyes at night and pray,
Where angels sit and watch me as I look up to the sky,
Where angels carry me along the way.

"In a grave without a body the worms are all alone.
This room is a tomb, and it is my home.
In a song without a meaning your mind starts going blank.
Send in reinforcements, we need a tank…

"Spread your wings around me, take me high into the air.
Free prisoners from shackles, teach them they should not despair.
In time we all will know
Our destination, which way we will go…"

The Queue

Of Christopher Moore's novels that I've read, The Stupidest Angel had the worst amusement-to-exasperation ratio. Let us hope Lamb strikes a more satisfactory balance.

The big problem with Father Gaitley's explanations of Marian Consecration is that he is not a terribly effective communicator. The first part of 33 Days to Morning Glory's introduction is not an explanation of the bewildering topic of Marian consecration, no, but an explanation of the title, 33 Days to Morning Glory. A free piece of unsolicited advice: If an author has to explain why he has titled his book as he has, if the full meaning of the title does not become obvious through the normal course of the book, that author should probably pick a different title. (A badly titled book is like a musical album that shares its title with one of the songs: It is a wasted opportunity.) For every paragraph that clarifies what Marian consecration is, there are two paragraphs that further muddy the waters. That is a shame.

Recently
Jonah Goldberg, Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning
Christopher Moore, Practical Demonkeeping: A Comedy of Horrors
Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

Currently
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel according to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
Father Michael E. Gaitley, 33 Days to Morning Glory: A Do-It-Yourself Retreat in Preparation for Marian Consecration

Presently
Matthew Kelly, Rediscover Catholicism: A Spiritual Guide to Living with Passion & Purpose
Timothy Keller, The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Swords of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Synthetic Men of Mars
Sir Ernest Shackleton, South: A Memoir of the Endurance Voyage
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Llana of Gathol
Edgar Rice Burroughs, John Carter of Mars
Richard Price, Clockers
Sir Richard Francis Burton, translator, "Sinbad the Sailor" from The Arabian Nights

Lately Neglected
Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan, or The Matter, Forme, & Power of a Common-wealth Ecclesiasticall and Civill
Edmund Burke, The Evils of Revolution
F. J. Sheed, Theology for Beginners

The Rebel Black Dot Drinking Songs of the Day
John Lee Hooker, "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" from The Definitive Collection (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Contrasting with "Whiskey & Wimmen'," wherein alcohol is the author of John Lee's troubles, in "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer," alcohol is the succor John Lee seeks to relieve his troubles (with a woman).

As Homer Simpson once said, before his show was an abomination, "To alcohol: The cause of, & solution to, all of life's problems."

Montag, 16 Juni
John Lee Hooker, "Whiskey & Wimmen'" from "Boom Boom" and Other Classics (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I have no idea why the song it titled "Whiskey & Wimmen'" instead of "Whiskey & Women" or even "Whiskey & Wimmen." What the apostrophe at the end of "wimmen'" stands for I haven't the foggiest notion. Whatever the title, this is Mr. Hooker's retort to the old line, "I spent most of my money on whiskey & women. The rest I just wasted."

"Whiskey and women almost wrecked my life,
Whiskey and women almost wrecked my life,
Weren't for whiskey and women, I'd have money today.

"Night life, night life, night life,
Ain't no good, ain't no good, ain't no good for me.
I had a good start,
But women and whiskey tore it down…"

24 Heures du Mans | +26:57:00

These are grand days atop the endurance-racing pyramid, with three major automotive manufacturers—Audi, Toyota, & Porsche—vying for overall victory around the Circuit de la Sarthe, & a fourth—Nissan—due to arrive on the grid next year, in '15. (There have been rumors of Ferrari returning to the top level of endurance racing, to renew their ancient rivalry with Porsche. I'd love to see the Prancing Horse back at Le Mans, if for no other reason than Italy is the only former Axis power not in competition, Audi & Porsche being German & Toyota & Nissan being Japanese.) All three makes had a chance to win this year's Le Mans.

The Audi R18 (six-cylinder, turbocharged Diesel engine, flywheel-based hybrid) was plagued by problems at Silverstone & Spa & two of the three R18s had to have repairs effected to their turbochargers over the course of the race (the third was crashed out of the race by an out-of-control Toyota in a downpour early in the race on Saturday afternoon), but ultimately had enough reliability to claim Audi's thirteenth victory in sixteen attempts.



The Toyota TS040 (eight-cylinder, naturally-aspirated gasoline engine, super capacitor-based hybrid) won the opening two rounds of the World Endurance Championship, at Silverstone & Spa-Francorchamps (Spa!), & the № 7 started from the pole at Le Mans & dominated the opening hours of the race, greatly outpacing both the Audis & the Porsches, before suffering mysterious & terminal mechanical failure sometime in the night, retiring from the race.



The Porsche 919 (four-cylinder, turbocharged gasoline engine, battery-based hybrid) had wicked top-end speed, the trade-off being slower speeds through the corners. The № 20, driven in part by grizzled, forthright former Red Bull Formula One pilot Mark Webber (#aussiegrit), lead for a long time after the demise of the № 7 Toyota, but had to retire with only a couple hours to go with unspecified mechanical woes, clearing the deck for Audi's victory.



Porsche holds the record for the most overall victories at the 24 Heures du Mans, with sixteen. Audi is rapidly making up ground, now with thirteen. I have to believe that this is a significant factor in Porsche's decision to return to the top category, L.M.P.1. Since first competing at Le Mans in 1999, Audi has won every 24 Hours except for '99 (B.M.W.), '03 (Bentley), & '09 (Peugeot). Wins, by constructor: 24 hours to glory-link.

I am already looking forward to next year's "Grand Prix of Endurance." Le Mans! Le Mans! Le Mans!

24 Heures du Mans | +00:34:00

What a race! Audi prevailed in L.M. P.1 over stiff competition from both Toyota & Porsche; A Nissan-powered car prevailed in L.M. P.2—surprise, surprise; Ferrari prevailed over Corvette in G.T.E. Pro.; & the same Aston Martin squad that lost Allan Simonsen last year prevailed in G.T.E. Am. "It always rains at Le mans," & this year was no exception, though the rain was confined to sudden downpours in the first few hours, nothing sustained. What a great, great race! I'm so pleased, so happy. I'd gush more, but I'm having real trouble focusing, due to fatigue, too much Red Bull, & too much beer. Le Mans! Le Mans! Le Mans!



The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Genius in France" from Poodle Hat (T.L.A.M.)

24 Heures du Mans | 01:02:00

Missing the middle ten hours of the race, this year's magnificent race almost feels like one of my early Le Manses, when I wasted the night slumbering, missing the riveting ebb & flow of the race. I missed the eerie darkness, the dawn, the sunrise, the exhausted euphoria & false hope of "happy hour," the first hour of sunlight when all are simply glad that the baleful dark has past, before the cold realization sets in that there are still eight or nine hours of hard racing ahead, hours during which anything could & quite possibly would go awry. It was all there to be seen on Fox Sports 2, but not by me. Alas!


All the leading contenders in L.M. P.1 have had mechanical troubles, but Audi leads having suffered less serious mechanical troubles than Toyota & Porsche, each of whom has seen a car retire due to unreliability, whereas the only Audi out of the race was crashed out by a wildly spinning Toyota. Things are equally close in L.M. P.2, though the stakes are lower since all the front runners, though utilizing different chassis, use the same Nissan engines. The quasi factory Ferrari is leading G.T.E. Pro., with the lead 911 & the lead Corvette battling for second. The all-Dane squad, racing in part in tribute to the late Allan Simonsen, looks comfortably atop G.T.E. Am.

I'm knackered, but supremely happy. Sweet fancy Moses, I love this race!

24 Heures du Mans | 09:32:00

This is the oddest 24 Heures du Mans in the five years I've been watching the "Grand Prix of Endurance." The race is proceeding well, & in that respect is much more normal than was 2013's tragic & pervasively strange Le Mans, but the experience is odd due to two factors: My busy social service calendar & the sinister machinations of 21st Century Fox.

Regarding the former, for as long as I've been a fan of motorsport the 24 Heures du Mans was broadcast on Speed (formerly the Speed Channel, formerly Speedvision), "the Motor Sports Authority." Since last year's Le Mans, Speed has been replaced by a twenty-four-hour all sports channel, Fox Sports 1. Fox Sports 1 continues to carry a good deal of motorsport, & to do so better than the Entertainment & Sports Programming Network, & at least as well as the N.B.C. Sports Network, which has acquired one of Speed's old assets, the U.S. broadcast rights to Formula One. Between Fox Sports 1 (F.S.1) & its sister channel Fox Sports 2 (F.S.2), they are actually carrying more hours of the 24 Hours of Le Mans than was ever possible on Speed. The problem is that almost no one in American has Fox Sports 2 as part of their cable package, including your humble narrator. So, from now 'til 2:00 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time (07:00:00 remaining), the 24 Heures du Mans is on F.S.2, meaning there is no way for me to see the race on television. Drat!

Due to the pair of service commitments discussed below, I did not start watching the race, which began at 3:00 P.M. Le Mans time/9:00 Eastern, 'til 5:00 P.M. Eastern/11:00 P.M. Le Mans (16:00:00 remaining). My father & I watched the D.V.R. recording of the race through the end of F.S.1's coverage at 4:00 P.M. Eastern/10:00 P.M. Le Mans (17:00:00). The six hours time difference 'twixt Le Mans & Grand Blanc has always been disconcerting, with dawn coming in the middle of the night, but this year the disconcert is out of control. Things will be put somewhat to right when I resume watching the live race feed at 2:00, but then I'll have to learn the rhythm of a whole new race, as I'll have missed the entire night, all those glorious hours of driving in the darkness, when the French T.V. that provides the world feed restricts the number of cameras (more directly, the number of unionized cameramen) & pit lane reporter & former racer Justin Bell takes his annual tour through the drunken crowd in the wee small hours of the morning. All that will happen of course, but unseen on F.S.2. It's not a tragedy, but it is a shame.

The threefold battle for overall honors in Le Mans Prototype 1 (L.M.P. 1) 'twixt Audi, Toyota, & Porsche is fierce, though through the first seven hours of the race Toyota held the advantage of the dueling siblings from the Volkswagen Group. Things were even tighter in Grand Touring Endurance Professional (G.T.E. Pro.), between Corvette, Aston Martin, & Ferrari. Le Mans! Le Mans! Le Mans!



Urbi et Orbi*
First thing this morning, I joined several others in helping a fellow Knight of Columbus, etc., a fellow tethered to an oxygen tank who suffers mini-strokes with alarming regularity & whom we all fear is not long for this world, remove the largest items from his old domicile's storage shed, or "barn," & transport them to his new abode's garage. The et cetera is that I also know him from the Christ Renews His Parish (C.R.H.P.) retreat group & the Saint Joseph Covenant Keepers study & fellowship group, but principally I know Sierra Charlie as a brother Knight. After we finished, I repaired to the new house of Holy Redeemer's choir director & youth minister, also a fellow Knight, but in the two-plus years I've belonged to the Order I think I've seen him at a grand total of one K. of C. meeting; I know him principally as the choir director. His wife, Kinder, & he this very day moved house from Flushing to Grand Blanc, & invited seemingly everyone they know to lend a helping hand. I helped to convey large items from the U-Haul to the house & from the ground floor to both the upstairs & the basement. There were too many persons there & things would have operated more efficiently with fewer helping hands, but it was not my show to run. After that I patronized the green grocer, cleaned myself up, & settled in to catch up, in a limited manner, with the 24 Heures du Mans, already in progress.

*I considered classifying this bit under both "Urbi et Orbi" & "Project MERCATOR," but despite my personal fondness for both Sierra Charlie & Delta Sierra, the choir director, I realized that I'd assisted them, sacrificed what is for me the profanely sacred 24 Hours of Le Mans to assist them, not out of kithship or personal affection, but out of a sense of Christian duty. I had no valid reason not to help them, so I helped. I raged against the damnable timing that compromised this year's Le Mans experience, but I helped all the same. I have to learn to be a little more selfish, because lately I've found myself overcommitted at church, stressed out† by the overcommitments, & thus unable to give each commitment my very best, but for this year there was nothing else to do but what I did. Next year, though, the world can go to blazes, Le Mans will be for me an inviolate twenty-four hours.

†In this usage, "stressed out" is a euphemism for "pissed off." I'm not as angry The Last Angry Man as I used to be, so much better acquainted with Christ's peace have I become, but lately I've been angrier than I'd been for quite a spell.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of This Day
Michel Legrand, "Le Mans: The Race, First Laps" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

The Queue (Addendum)

I'm next in line for Lamb, so whilst I wait—& whilst I was already at the library, making a book run for my still hobbled mother—I snagged The Stupidest Angel from amongst the three Moore volumes sitting on the McFarlen shelf. Christopher Moore's novels are like Seinfeld episodes in this: one is rarely enough, as instead of satisfying it merely whets your appetite for more.

Currently
Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror
Father Michael E. Gaitley, 33 Days to Morning Glory: A Do-It-Yourself Retreat in Preparation for Marian Consecration

Project TROIKA | Project PARAFFIN
I had a wonderfully invigorating telephonic confab with the California Dreamer yesterday. "Grow or die" is the motto, & indeed we have been dying for a while now. I take solace in the words of Alfred Bester: "He was one hundred and seventy days dying and not yet dead." It is time, long past time to get to work. The status quo, this limbo of potentialities & good intentions, cannot be tolerated.

Grow or die.

The Rebel Black Dot Drinking Song of the Day
The Pogues, "Streams of Whiskey" from The Best of the Pogues (T.L.A.M.)

The Rebel Black Dot Drinking Song of the Day
Tim Lyons, "Humours of Whiskey" from Green Linnet Records: The Twentieth Anniversary Collection (T.L.A.M.)

Operation ÖSTERREICH

Fortnightly Weigh-in: Since last I weighed myself I have lost four point six pounds (4.6 lbs.), meaning I now weigh twenty-one point two pounds (21.2 lbs.) less than I did on 13 November 2013, the beginning of systematic record-keeping.

In so doing, I have triggered an additional reporting requirement. I now weigh three hundred forty-seven pounds (347.0 lbs.), having tipped the scales at three hundred sixty-eight point two pounds (368.2) last November. I determined then that I was too ashamed of my overall weight to report it, but that I must do so once I reached three-fifty. I am still morbidly obese or, if we are feeling charitable, massively corpulent, but I am making progress; ÖSTERREICH is bearing fruit. Onward!

The Queue

Practical Demonkeeping was much like Moore's vampire trilogy that I'd previously read, all subtitled A Love Story—Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, & Bite Me—by turns amusing & exasperating. I want to say that Practical Demonkeeping felt like a first novel, not as polished as the later books, but I might want to say that only because I know it is a first novel. I'll never rave about Moore's books, but they are entertaining reads.

Recently
Pope Francis, Lumen Fidei (The Light of Faith)
Jonah Goldberg, Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning
Christopher Moore, Practical Demonkeeping: A Comedy of Horrors

Currently
Father Michael E. Gaitley, 33 Days to Morning Glory: A Do-It-Yourself Retreat in Preparation for Marian Consecration

Presently
Matthew Kelly, Rediscover Catholicism: A Spiritual Guide to Living with Passion & Purpose
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel according to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
Timothy Keller, The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Swords of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Synthetic Men of Mars
Sir Ernest Shackleton, South: A Memoir of the Endurance Voyage
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Llana of Gathol
Edgar Rice Burroughs, John Carter of Mars
Richard Price, Clockers
Sir Richard Francis Burton, translator, "Sinbad the Sailor" from The Arabian Nights

Lately Neglected
Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan, or The Matter, Forme, & Power of a Common-wealth Ecclesiasticall and Civill
Edmund Burke, The Evils of Revolution
F. J. Sheed, Theology for Beginners

The Rebel Black Dot Drinking Song of the Day
Dance Hall Crashers, "Whiskey & Gin" from Honey, I'm Homely! (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"We sat there quietly,
Purposely ignoring the room,
He smiled wistfully,
His shirt was dirty
And torn, everlasting glances
Left open-ended chances,
But he stole my heart
When he ordered the double for me.

"In the back room of the bar,
In the back room of the bar,
We made a drink up for me and him,
'Cause I drink whiskey
But he only ever drinks gin…"

The Rebel Black Dot Drinking Song of the Day
T.J. Mac, "Whiskey Man" courtesy The Watergirl (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The Watergirl & her brother, T.J. Mac, make for a very musically gifted family. Only in the last year or so have I begun to appreciate whiskey, though my palate is still quite limited. I do know that I prefer Seagram's Seven Crown to Canadian Club, despite the appeal of Canadian Club's "Damn right your dad drank it" campaign.

The Explorers' Club, № CCCXCVI

Deal Castle, Kent.







The Rebel Black Dot Drinking Song of the Day
Less Than Jake, "Harvey Wallbanger" from Greetings & Salutations from Less Than Jake (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Harvey Wallbanger" is more about dire economic straits than drinking, per se, though of course it is the desperation of (relative) poverty that fuels the drinking.

"We are recession royalty,
Taking Adderall to stay awake
And alcohol to fall asleep…

"Your family tree is falling down,
The future calls, you lose your house,
Three cheers for the down and out!
Let's have a toast for living now!
Fly the flag for the proud
Falling backwards,
Here's our last words…

Thank you, stalled economy,
For all of my uncertainty."

The Rebel Black Dot Drinking Song of the Day
Reel Big Fish, "Beer" from Turn the Radio Off (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"If I get drunk, well, I'll pass out on the floor now, baby,
You won't bother me no more,
And if you're drinkin', well, you know that you're my friend
And I'll say, 'I think I'll have myself a beer'…

"She looks like Heaven, maybe this is Hell…"


The Israeli actress Yamit Sol.

This Week in Motorsport

One week 'til Le Mans, 'til the eighty-second running of the "Grand Prix of Endurance," the 24 Heures du Mans! Catch up on sleep & stock up on your favorite libation, because the 24 Hours comes just once a year & you don't want to miss a second of the greatest race in all the world. (The race ends at 9:00 A.M. E.D.T. on Sunday, 15 Juin, meaning you can spend the rest of Sunday catching up on all the sleep you missed by staying awake all throughout Saturday night.) Le Mans! Le Mans! Le Mans!



The Rebel Black Dot Drinking Song of the Day
Johnny Socko, "Tortugas" from Full Trucker Effect (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Tortugas" is in Spanglish (though, of course, not the lyrics quoted below).

"To walk a half-mile for sweet malt liquor doesn't seem too far…"

Drink!

There is no other sadness quite the same as the sadness of having too much of a good thing. My fondness for Yuengling was also enhanced by its scarcity; as it is not available in sacred Michigan, I'd always had Yuengling when traveling, when visiting kith & kin & seeing new sights. Thus armed with happy associations, on a sojourn to Xanadu last fall I acquired two cases of Yuengling, which lasted me all the dark, killing winter. The more Yuengling I had, the less I looked forward to having Yuengling. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Memorial Day is past, the summer is here, & that mean's it is well past time for my summertime/warm-weather beer, Red Stripe. As the man (the paid spokesman) said, "It's beer! Hooray, beer!"



The Rebel Black Dot Drinking Song of the Day
They Might Be Giants, "Drink!" from Mink Car (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: No, I'm not drinking this early—which would be indicative of a problem—but "Drink!" was sung last night as a kinsman & I "had a beer." He had a Spaten, I had a Red Stripe.

"Let's drink, drink, this town is so great!
Drink, drink, 'Cause it's never too late
To drink, drink, to no big surprise,
But what words rhyme with 'buried alive'?
What words rhyme with 'buried alive'?…"

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "I-95" from Traffic and Weather (T.L.A.M.)

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "Maureen" from Out-of-State Plates (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"Maureen, you don't know what you do to me,
I know you won't be true to be,
The least that you can do for me
Is keep it to yourself.
I'm so sorry, I don't mean to shout,
It's just that I can do without
The details of your days and nights,
And your thoughts and dreams,
Maureen! Maureen! Maureen! Maureen! Maureen!

"Do you know what I mean?
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know what I mean?…"

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "Radiation Vibe" from Fountains of Wayne (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I really have no idea what "Radiation Vibe" is about, or at least what "It's a radiation vibe I'm grooving on" is meant to mean. A fondness for the radio? Nostalgia the bygone days of classic F.M.?

The Explorers' Club, № CCCXCV

The "Max Headroom" broadcast signal intrusions, 22 November 1987.

Lies, Damned Lies, & the News

I caught the beginning of The Diane Rehm Show this morning, immediately after the B.B.C. Newshour. ("Newshour" is not a word, incidentally—attn: the P.B.S. as well as the B.B.C.) In discussing the Memorial Day weekend murder spree in Southern California, Mrs. Rehm stressed repeatedly that the majority of the mentally ill do not commit violent crimes. This is true, & proper to declare. In both past episodes discussing "gun control" & this morning's references to the urgent "need" for gun-control legislation, Mrs. Rehm did not repeatedly stress that the majority of gun owners do not commit violent crimes, nor that the majority of guns are not used in violent crimes. Both of those things are true, & would be proper to declare. That Mrs. Rehm goes out of her way to make sure that the mentally ill are not slandered is to her credit, but refusing to afford the same courtesy-cum-protection to gun owners is precisely the ideology-driven bias Mrs. Rehm has long & vehemently denied having.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Golem, "Train Across Ukraine" from Citizen Boris (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The last item on this morning's Newshour detailed a journey by train across Ukraine.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of Ascension Sunday
Screamin' Jay Hawkins, "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" from The Crazy World of Screamin' Jay Hawkins (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The title should be "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."