Goldbrickin' in '06
He's at it again. In the name of all that's dark and profane, why won't he just admit that he's lazy and wants to take a few days off work? He's worked for AC/Delphi for over thirty years and has earned the right to his five weeks of paid vacation per annum. It's fine to take a day off work just for the hell of it! Why pretend that you're sick when you're clearly as healthy as ever? I can't believe my beloved brother and magnificent sister were sired by that wretch.

Be My Anti-Valentine
The title is borrowed from a news article I read this morning about the relatively booming traffic in anti-Valentine's Day merchandise directed at single folk. The celebration of the feast day of Saint Valentine as a celebration of corporately-sponsored love strieks me as being as vapid as ever, but on this day of scorn let us not forget that love in indeed a many splendored thing. I hope that each of you finds your one true love sooner rather than later.

And for those of you who, like me, are lifetime members of Team Bachelor, hey, fuck love. Love can't hold a candle to a frozen pizza, a cold can of Dr Pepper, and back-to-back episodes of MythBusters.