Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Operation AXIOM
Happy Hallowe'en to all & sundry! 'Tis the Eve of All Hallows & the eve of the Día de los Muertos, & also the old heathen Samhain. I will squeal with joy tonight if I see a trio of youths dressed as the unholy trinity of Hallowe'en costumes: Dracula (after Bela Lugosi), Frankenstein's monster (after Boris Karloff), & a mummy (wrappings made out of toilet paper). Hallowe'en is not, as is commonly supposed, about horror; nay, Hallowe'en is about mischief. Hallowe'en is about nothing more sinister than children extorting their neighbors for confectionery treats with threats of tricks. As Orson Welles said at the end of The War of the Worlds, "So, good-bye, everybody, & remember please for the next day or so the terrible lesson you learned tonight. That grinning, glowing, globular invader of your living room is an inhabitant of the pumpkin patch, & if your doorbell rings & nobody's there, that was no Martian, it's Hallowe'en."

The children should begin arriving soon, wee, ill-coordinated persons in gaily-colored raiment, bellowing their ultimatum, "Trick or treat!" Sweet fancy Moses, I love Hallowe'en!

The Rebel Black Dot Hallowe'en Song of the Day
The Citizens of Halloween Town, "This is Halloween" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "I am the 'Who' in the call, "Who's there?'"

This year, the R.B.D.S.O.T.D.'s celebration of Hallowe'en was expanded to eight days, after starting off as a five-day fête & then expanding in the second year to seven days. Methinks we shall stabilize at eight days, providing more than a week of spooky songs & yet not burning through the available choices too quickly. At the current pace, even if no new Hallowe'en songs are acquired, there won't be a repeat selection 'til 2016.

'10
The Aquabats!, "Monsters Wedding!"
Snmnmnm, "Zombie Girlfriend"
Sufjan Stevens, "They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back from the Dead!! Ahhhh!"
Ray Parker, Jr., "Ghostbusters"
Tracy Morgan, "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah"

'11
The Aquabats!, "The Thing on the Base Amp!"
Creedance Clearwater Revival, "Bad Moon Rising"
Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers, "Monster Mash"
Dr. John & The Blues Brothers Band, "Season of the Witch"
Champions of Breakfast, "Tame the Wolf"
Orson Welles & the Mercury Theatre on the Air,
The War of the Worlds
Warren Zevon, "Werewolves of London"

'12
The Aquabats!, "Attacked by Snakes!"
Champions of Breakfast, "Mummify My Love (The Enchanted Tomb)"
Vic Mizzy, "
The Addams Family Theme"
Spike Jones & His City Slickers, "My Old Flame"
Jason Segel, "Dracula's Lament"
Bruno Martini, "Dracula Cha Cha Cha"
Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers, "Transylvania Twist"
The Citizens of Halloween Town, "This is Halloween"

If each year had a theme—which none does!—the first year's would have been zombies, the second werewolves, & the third, this year, vampires. Based on this year's thinking about next year, I'd expect witchcraft, spell-casting, hexes, & the like, though that might well change in the next twelve months. Happy Hallowe'en!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

This Week in Motorsport
Going forward, we promise not more than one "This Week in Motorsport" post per week, consistent with the feature's title.

Formula Fun!
Formula One World Championship
Round 17
Grand Prix of India
Sunday, 28 October 2012

Four in a row for reigning double World Drivers' Champion Sebastian Vettel ('10 & '11) & reigning double World Constructors' Champions Red Bull (Renault) ('10 & '11)! Vettel started from the pole, his fourth consecutive front-row start, &, with Red Bull teammate Mark Webber alongside, India was the third consecutive front-row lockout by Red Bull, the only team to have done so all year long. Vettel cruised to victory, reminiscent of the dominance he evinced throughout '11, a season during which he took fifteen poles & eleven wins. Vettel finished nearly ten second ahead of the second-place finisher, a margin that could have been larger had not the Red Bull engineers begged Vettel in the closing laps to slow his pace & take it easy. Alas, double World Champion Fernando Alonso ('05 & '06) of Ferrari finished second, minimizing the damage to his Drivers' Championship bid; Alonso now sits thirteen points behind Vettel in the standings. '07 World Champion Kimi Räikkönen of Lotus (Renault), the aforementioned Webber, & '08 World Champion Lewis Hamilton of McLaren (Mercedes) remain mathematically eligible for the championship, but only just; realistically, it is a two-man race 'twixt the double world champions Vettel & Alonso.

Next: The Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi, a race that starts in daylight, races through the dusk, & finishes at night, against a background of staggering opulence & wealth beyond the dreams of avarice. Blessed with abundant petroleum reserves, the Emirate of Abu Dhabi, the dominant member of the United Arab Emirates, is richer than Croesus.

By Endurance We Conquer
World Endurance Championship
Round 8
6 Hours of Shanghai
Sunday, 28 October 2012

The finale of the inaugural season of the joint F.I.A./A.C.O. World Endurance Championship (W.E.C.) was contest this weekend, at the Shanghai International Circuit, built to be the home of the F1 Chinese Grand Prix. Toyota took their third victory of the year & second consecutive win over Audi, having also triumphed in their home round of the W.E.C., the 6 Hours of Fuji. The sole Toyota TS030 lapped around a second a lap quicker than either of the two Audi R18 e-tron quattros, producing a dominant win.

To my knowledge, the W.E.C. is not televised in the U.S., & whenever I have tried to watch a video on the W.E.C. website I've been presented with a screen telling me that the material is not available in my country. However, China being on the other side of the world & my having still been awake at 2:00 A.M. on Sunday, having been out late to see The Loose Ties, I checked out the live webcast of the race, which is available in this country. The commentary was provided by Radio Le Mans, chaps whose opinions I greatly respect, but I raised an eyebrow & looked askance at their repeated insistence that Toyota's pace meant the team would be favored to be only the second Japanese manufacturer to win the 24 Heures du Mans at the next running in June '13. Winning the 6 Hours of Shanghai is impressive, but winning the 24 Hours of Le Mans is another challenge entirely. Let us remind ourselves that in the two years of the Intercontinental Le Mans Cup (I.L.M.C.), the predecessor to the W.E.C., Peugeot won both I.L.M.C. crowns over Audi. However, in both years, 10 & '11, Audi won Le Mans over Peugeot. I bear Toyota no ill will, & in fact I'm thrilled that they took up the L.M.P.1 (Le Mans Prototype) challenge after Peugeot's hasty exit from the sport, but let's not get ahead of ourselves, & let's not doom them by setting impossible goals.

So, after finishing second to Peugeot in both years of the Intercontinental Le Mans Cup, Audi won the inaugural World Endurance Championship over Toyota. That said, the R18s had a tremendous advantage in that no TS030 competed at either the season-opening 12 Hours of Sebring nor the Le Mans warm-up 6 Hours of Spa-Francorchamps, meaning Toyota had to debut at the grueling 24 Heures du Mans, a race that Audi won, & a race that pays double points. Toyota might have a slight edge over Audi in the '13 W.E.C., in that Sebring will be replaced as the North American round by the 6 Hours of Austin, & Audi thrives at the longest races. But I won't believe that Toyota can best Audi around the Circuit de le Sarthe 'til the chequered flag waves on Sunday afternoon next 23 June.

Man alive, I wish the W.E.C. was on American television! Here's hoping that at least the 6 Hours of Austin, at the brand-new Circuit of the Americas, will make the cut.

Blancpain Endurance Series
Round 6
Navarra
Sunday, 14 October 2012

This weekend, I caught a YouTube video of the Blancpain Endurance Series, an all-G.T. (no prototypes) series centered around the 24 Hours of Spa. All Blancpain races are three hours long except for the Spa 24 Hours; what I saw was a fifty minute-long edit of the season-ending race at Navarra, in Spain, & I liked what I saw. I also liked that I could see it, even a fortnight after the race was run, a lovely change of pace from the rights-exclusivity of the W.E.C. site. The last half hour of the race was run behind the safety car due to torrential rainfall, & the race was red-flagged with five minutes to go, but that was the right call given the way cars were sliding off track even at the sedate pace of the safety car. When the safety car pace isn't safe, it's time to call it a day. I'd read about the Blancpain Endurance Series & seen highlights on Mobil 1 The Grid, but this was the first time I'd seen even part of a race. Though not nearly the same priority as the W.E.C., I'd like to see more of the Blancpain Endurance Series.

The Queue
If The Master Mind of Mars was too slight & didn't have quite enough moving parts to its plot, A Fighting Man of Mars is a Rube Goldberg machine of a book, fairly bursting at the seams, switching from location to location & moving along with a celerity not seen since The Gods of Mars, without the skimping on plot that marred The Warlord of Mars. Alas, the many, many threads of A Fighting Man of Mars come together & are resolved just a little too hastily, as was the case with Thuvia, Maid of Mars; there was one plot point, left entirely unresolved, that I hope will be revisited in one of the remaining four books. I will take a break from Burroughs after finishing the Barsoom series, but in the not too distant future I intend to try his similar Venus series, the Hollow-Earth tales of the Pellucidar series, & investigate if the Tarzan series is worthwhile beyond Tarzan of the Apes, which I read not long after the first John Carter of Mars novel, A Princess of Mars. E.R.B. is for me!

Recently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Chessmen of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Master Mind of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, A Fighting Man of Mars

Currently
Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan, or The Matter, Forme, & Power of a Common-wealth Ecclesiasticall and Civill*

Presently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Swords of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Synthetic Men of Mars
Sir Ernest Shackleton, South: A Memoir of the Endurance Voyage
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Llana of Gathol
Edgar Rice Burroughs, John Carter of Mars
Sir Richard Francis Burton, translator, The Arabian Nights (specifically, "Ali Baba & the Forty Thieves")
Richard Price, Clockers
Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince

*The eccentric spellings in the title—"forme" for form, "common-wealth" for commonwealth, & the extra "L" at the end of both ecclesiastical & civil, as well as the inconsistent use of "and" & the ampersand—are from the title page of the original printing of Leviathan. They are repeated here because they tickle your humble narrator's fancy.

The Rebel Black Dot Hallowe'en Song of the Day
Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers, "Transylvania Twist" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Transylvania Twist" is the faux song & dance referenced in the more famous "Monster Mash":

"Out from his coffin Drac's voice did ring,
Seems he was troubled by just one thing,
Opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, 'Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?'"

There are no lyrics proper in "Transylvania Twist," simply a discussion of the song's merits 'twixt Drac (Dracula), Boris (the uncanny Karloff, after a fashion), & Frankie (Frankenstein's Monster). Drac is most impressed by his "Transylvania Twist" & Frankie likes it, yet Boris worries, "But will the living dig it?"

To this Drac replies, "Of course, stupid!"

In the end, Boris agrees, declaring, "It's a rocker!"

Monday, October 29, 2012

The Rebel Black Dot Hallowe'en Song of the Day
Bruno Martini, "Dracula Cha Cha Cha" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "Dracula Cha Cha Cha" is the song after which is named the third novel in Kim Newman's Anno Dracula series, though for some reason the book was published in this country with the ridiculously inappropriate title Judgment of Tears.

Following up from an earlier R.B.D.H.S.O.T.D., I shan't be heartbroken if
Mockingbird Lane is not picked up as a series. Entirely too much Grandpa & entirely too much evil, as if the new show's brain trust had never seen an episode of The Munsters. Come up with an original idea of your own, you hacks! Don't pervert another creator's work! (The same admonishment is directed at Mr. Newman, with gusto.)

Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Explorers' Club
№ CCCXII - The Silver Swan.



To grasp how truly impressive is the Silver Swan, the automaton must be seen to move. To wit: The Silver Swan-link.





Commentary: "The Explorers' Club" is now back on schedule after the latest unscheduled sabbatical. This is the perilous period in which the wheels usually fall off this cart, sending us careening into a ditch, causing another rueful repose. Here's hoping for better fortune this go-around. Fingers crossed!

The Victors
Nebraska 23-9 Michigan (№ 20)
5-3, Big Ten 3-1

Night games are abominations & The Loose Ties had scheduled their album-release show weeks in advance, long before I knew the valiant Wolverines' contest against the unwelcome Cornhuskers would be a verdammt night game; so, I went to The Local, missing the lion's share of the game. I watched the first quarter & into the second, & when I embarked upon my journey in the Lumi the Snow Queen the score was Nebraska 7-3 Michigan, & we had already missed a field goal. I'd be able to comment intelligently upon what occurred had the game been played at noon, or even at 3:30. Thus, generalities & platitudes: Michigan football is still recovering from the worst stretch in our storied history, & restoration is neither an easy nor a swift process. We lost, & losing hurts. We can only hope that "the agony of defeat" is instructive, that we learn from the myriad mistakes we must have made yesterday, that we improve our procedures & our preparation, & that we come out for the next game stronger, smarter, & savvier than we did for yesterday's game.

Also, night games, like Carthage, must be destroyed.

Go Blue!

The Rebel Black Dot Hallowe'en Song of the Day
Jason Segel, "Dracula's Lament" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: From the motion picture Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Within the film, "Dracula's Lament" is a song in the "rock opera" A Taste for Love.

"It's getting kind of hard to believe things are going to get better,
I've been drowning too long to believe that the tide's going to turn,
And I've been living too hard to believe things are going to get easier now,
I'm still trying to shake off the pain from the lessons I've learned—

"And if I see Van Helsing I swear to the Lord I will slay him!
Wa ha ha ha!
He's taken from me but I swear I won't let it be so!
Wa ha ha ha!
Blood! will run down his face when he is decapitated!
Ha!
His head on my mantel is how I will let this world know
How much I love you—

"Die, die, die…
I can't."

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The Victors | Project MERCATOR
Have I mentioned how much I hate night games? The valiant Wolverines play the unwelcome Cornhuskers this evening, the game not kicking-off 'til 8:00 P.M. Across town, The Loose Ties are playing at The Flint Local 432, an album-release show for their first full-length offering, Champ of the Week. I'd not have to miss any portion of a noon or mid-afternoon game to go to the Local. Bo Schembechler hated night games, & so do I. College football games should be played at noon.

Project GLOWWORM
In the two years since I've sported my whiskers post-Banzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge & Magnificent Moustache Malarkey, I have shaved more regularly than I ever did in all the years before. I shave my cheeks an average of more than six out of every seven days. (The hair on my cheeks is the worst of all worlds, too sparse to provide any actual coverage, but too numerous to ignore. Not only are they unsightly, but they snare the flying wings of my handlebar moustache.) I shave regularly, & thus I regularly use aftershave. I exhausted my supply of Kiehl's Men's Alcohol-free Herbal Toner this morning. I began using Kiehl's many years ago, when Mrs. Skeeter, esq. gifted me a bottle, claiming I was, "too young to be using Old Spice." I have always been satisfied with the Men's Alcohol-free Herbal Toner, & enjoyed being "in the know" when Kiehl's products were mentioned on an episode of Gilmore Girls. I've received a bottle of Men's Alcohol-free Herbal Toner as a semi-regular Christmas gift, though I've course I've not needed a new bottle for a couple years now, my cheeks requiring only a small splash, a dab really. Nonetheless, the time has come to give Old Spice a try. Why? I'm not so young anymore. I am intrigued by the mild sting that comes from using Old Spice, which I remember fondly. Also, I applaud any company that hires Bruce Campbell as a spokesman, however briefly. Do I really need a reason? Is it not sufficient simply to want to use Old Spice, at least temporarily? I've purchased a small bottle of Old Spice & from tomorrow I shall be using it as my daily aftershave.



The first tangible fruits of Operation ÖSTERREICH are ill-fitting clothes. The collars of some of my shirts are hanging loose, loose enough to reveal the T-shirt underneath (I've still not bothered to acquire a few experimental V-necks, though I know I should.); I need to have both of my newest suits taken in, both the pants & the coats; & I'm now able to wear a short-sleeved shirt that previously did not quite button over my belly. As mentioned many times before, my belts are swiftly running out of holes, & are now more essential than ever to keeping my trousers about my waist. Please do not think that I am complaining—these are exactly the problems I want to have—I'm merely cataloging.

The Rebel Black Dot Hallowe'en Song of the Day
Spike Jones & His City Slickers,"My Old Flame" from The Spike Jones Anthology (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Spike & the boys play "My Old Flame" straight for the first minute, but then the sirens wail & all heck breaks loose, after which the song is resumed as a spoken word piece, as if performed by Peter Lorre.

"My old flame,
I can't even think of her name,
(I'll have to look through my collection of human heads.)
But it's funny now & then,
How my thoughts go flashing back again
To my old flame.

"My old flame,
My—my new lovers all seem so tame,
(They—they won't even let me strangle them!)
For I haven't met a girl
So magnificent or elegant
As my old flame.

"I—I—I've met so many who had fascinating ways,
A fascinating gaze in their eye
(I saw the sigh! So I removed the other eye,
That eye that kept winking & blinking at other men,
It was make—I was—it—it was—)
Some who took me up to the skies,
But their attempts at love
Were only imitations of—

"My old flame,
I—I can't even think of her name
(What—what—what was her name?
Doris, Laura, Chloe, Manny, Moe, Jack?
No, it couldn't have been Moe.
I can't stand it, I tell you,
This is driving me sane!)
She would always treat me mean,
So I poured a can of gasoline,
And struck a match to,
My old flame."

Friday, October 26, 2012

Project GLOWWORM
A fetching, bespectacled girl was fascinated by my moustache yesterday. She asked if I used wax to achieve the signature curvature, & how long it had taken to grow, & with each answer her eyes grew wider in astonishment. She was spellbound. Uncomfortably, she must surely have been still in high school, not of an age group I need to be fascinated with my moustache. Regardless, I congratulate her for her good taste, especially for one so young.

The Rebel Black Dot Hallowe'en Song of the Day
Vic Mizzy, "The Addams Family Theme" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Chosen in honor of tonight's broadcast, on N.B.C., of Mockingbird Lane, a latter-day re-imagining of The Munsters, which was contemporaneous with the television series The Addams Family. Why not simply the theme from The Munsters? I've looked, & cannot find the blessed thing elsewhere than the YouTube. Besides, I welcome any excuse to thrust The Addams Family into the limelight, though given my age & cohort the 1991 film & it's '93 sequel are dearer to my heart than the '60s television show to which today's R.B.D.H.S.O.T.D. was the theme. A trifling detail!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Operation ÖSTERREICH
A new course record today, forty seconds faster than the old course record, set only a week earlier. "Rumblin', tumblin', stumblin'…" Pardon my swagger.

Also, the dietary component of Operation ÖSTERREICH is as important as the exercise regime. My mother, bless her heart, baked a pair of pumpkin pies on Monday. This was the opening salvo in the holiday season's assault on my bulging waistline; supreme discipline will be required not to allow November & December to undo September's & October's progress. I know that I have not the willpower to resist the cavalcade of Christmas cookies entirely, to quit them cold turkey, so the key will be to reduce my intake to the achievable minimum & to strive mightily to set that minimum as low as possible.

This Week in Motorsport
By Endurance We Conquer
The recent running of the 15th Annual Petit Le Mans has stirred within me a great desire to see this weekend's last race of the inaugural World Endurance Championship (W.E.C.), the 6 Hours of Shanghai, which will utilize the same up-to-date racing circuit built to host the F1 Chinese Grand Prix. There is no television coverage of the W.E.C. in the United States, at least not to my knowledge, & so I shall attempt to watch the race online, even though my last attempt to do so was less than successful. I am hopeful that there might be television coverage of 2013's North American round of the W.E.C., the 6 Hours of Austin, to be held at the brand-new Circuit of the Americas (C.O.T.A.), which next month will host the F1 United States Grand Prix. The 6 Hours of Austin, you see, will be part of a "super endurance weekend" held in conjunction with the American Le Mans Series (A.L.M.S.): the A.L.M.S. will race on Saturday & the W.E.C. on Sunday. The A.L.M.S. race will be broadcast, alas, on E.S.P.N. 2 or A.B.C., with all the attendant compromises, but I'm hoping a deal can be reached whereby Speed will cover the W.E.C. race, even as a one-off. There is precedent for this in Speed's coverage of this year's inaugural World Touring Car Championship (W.T.C.C.) Race of the U.S.A., even though Speed doesn't normally cover the W.T.C.C. Hope springs eternal!

There will be two other "super endurance weekends" next year, one here in the U.S. when the A.L.M.S. & the Grand-Am Rolex Series share a weekend at Road America, & the other in Europe, where the European Le Mans Series (E.L.M.S.) will share a weekend with the opening round of the W.E.C., the 6 Hours of Silverstone, akin to how the A.L.M.S. & the W.E.C. will share the weekend at the C.O.T.A. Having greatly enjoyed the A.L.M.S. & IndyCar doubleheader at Mid-Ohio, & believing that it provided value for money, I cannot but view this as an excellent direction for the sport, as well as a welcome show of solidarity between the A.C.O.'s three series, the W.E.C., the A.L.M.S., & the E.L.M.S.

All five of the races on the recently-announced '13 E.L.M.S. calendar will be shared weekends, the Silverstone weekend with the W.E.C., one found with a French G.T. series, & three pairs with the one-step-below-F1 single-seaters of the World Series by Renault. The E.L.M.S. struggled mightily this year, motor racing being a luxury, & thus one of the first items on the chopping block, in economically trouble Europe, but I see great potential in next year's slate of races.

I was surprised & encouraged by the success of the A.L.M.S. P2-class prototypes against their visiting E.L.M.S. brethren at the Petit Le Mans. Perhaps as a character flaw, perhaps as a result of A.L.M.S. teams' traditional struggles at the 24 Heures du Mans (except for Corvette Racing, who excel at Le Mans), I presumed that European prototype teams were superior to American prototype teams. Such was not the case at Petit, where American proudly defended our home soil. And lest one suspect that the cream of the European P2 crop fled the E.L.M.S. for the jet-setting W.E.C., it should be noted that the W.E.C. P2 champs are the American team Starworks Motorsports. I hope then to see both the A.L.M.S. P1 champs, Picket Racing, & the P2 champs, Level 5 Motorsports, at Le Mans next June, & still looking strong late into the twenty-fourth hour.

Rally Monkey
A further, sideways note on potentially rooting for Volkswagen in the W.R.C. in '13 & beyond: I have vague but fond memories from the '80s of the late paternal grandfather's V.W. Rabbit, the name under which a couple generations of the Golf were marketed here in North America. Also, The L.A.W. & Brother-in-L.A.W.'s sole motorcar, which sees relatively little use in their urban lifestyle, is a V.W. (I am uncertain as to the model, but I think it's a Jetta.) So there's that, for whatever significance that has.

The Rebel Black Dot Hallowe'en Song of the Day
Champions of Breakfast, "Mummify My Love (The Enchanted Tomb)" from Pleasure Mountain (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The heartwarming tale of a mummy & the girl whose blood it needs to be revived & whose brains it will eat once thus revived.

"Before I died I was a rich and handsome man,
And then the plague came and took me from my land,
Was laid to rest, rotting from the inside out,
But that don't mean that I can't make you scream and shout!"

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Operation ÖSTERREICH
This has been an odd week. I set a deliberately leisurely pace during Monday's daily constitutional, finishing a full four minutes behind Thursday's & Friday's record-setting pace. In retrospect, this was a mistake. I "bonked" yesterday, & bonked hard. My shins were on fire for two thirds of the distance & even though my stride looked normal my left foot felt as if was flapping about, as if my ankle was made of soft rubber. The pain was so bad at one point that I stopped to retie my sneakers, hoping that loosening the shoelaces would provide some succor. (I never claimed to be a sawbones.) In kneeling down & shifting about, I must have quite inadvertently depressed a button on the stopwatch in the right-side pocket of my gym shorts, because when a got back to the start/finish line & withdrew the stopwatch to check the time, I found that it had stopped at about 60% of a normal lap time. Curses! Today began in the baleful shadow of yesterday, but I eventually found my stride & set a time that would have been a new record before Thursday's & Friday's blistering pace. I am hopeful that the ship has been righted, but only time will tell.

I am open to the possibility that yesterday's & today's struggles are psychosomatic. While not quite "Indian summer," we are experiencing a dreadful heat wave. The air is hot & muggy (high fives all around, "Hot & muggy! Hot & muggy"), & the Accursed Sun's death rays beat down uninterrupted by clouds, & opposed by an ever-dwindling supply of shading leaves. This is indeed an anti-autumnal nightmare.

The Rebel Black Dot Hallowe'en Song of the Day
The Aquabats!, "Attacked by Snakes!" from The Fury of The Aquabats! (Captain Thumbs-up)

Commentary: We always begin the R.B.D.S.O.T.D.'s celebration of Hallowe'en with The Aquabats!, & we always will as far as I am concerned.

"My perilous fate, I see no escape
As serpents lay siege to my country estate,
The Devil must have opened Hell's gate
And called up millions snakes
To take me from this place.

"Big ones, little ones, fat ones, skinnies one,
Protect me from their venomous drug
That springs from the needles of fangs
Attacked by snakes! By snakes!
So many snakes you could fill the Great Lakes with snakes,
Ha ha ha! Run! I try to hide,
But snakes bites on my face testify I've been
Attacked by snakes! By snakes!
So many snakes it would take a thousand crates
To contain the snakes after me,
I'd rather be burned at the stake than be
Attacked by snakesssss!"

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

This Week in Motorsport
Rally Monkey
World Rally Championship
Round 12
Rally Italia Sardegna
Thursday-Sunday, 18-21 October 2012

On Sardinia (Sardegna), "carnage" was the word used for the rash of shunts that thinned the ranks of the works drivers, clearing the field for the privateers to come almost to the fore. Nine-time World Champion Sébastien Loeb ('04-'12) of Citroën, '03 World Champion Petter Solberg of Ford, Jari-Matti Latvala of Ford, & Thierry Neuville of Citroën Junior all crashed out on Friday morning. Unique in my W.R.C. experience, Solberg, Latvala, & Neuville all returned to the rally on Saturday, only Loeb, having already secured this year's title, electing not to resume. I surmise that others drivers I have seen crash out of past rallies have also resumed on later days, but that these returns did not elicit the same commentary as they were not by habitual frontrunners. Interesting, Solberg, Latvala, & Neuville went on to claim first, second, & third places in the rally-ending "Power Stage," though they were long out of contention for the overall rally victory. That honor went to Loeb's team Mikko Hirvonen, for the Finn's first rally win in for Citroën. Ford privateers Evgeny Novikov, Ott Tänak, & Mads Østberg finish second, third, & fourth behind Hirvonen.

The drive of the rally belonged to Sébastien Ogier, who finished fifth overall & won a stage in an S2000-spec Škoda. S2000 cars are much like W.R.C. cars, but with non-turbocharged engines & inferior aerodynamics; all other things being equal, an S2000 car shouldn't be much of a match for a W.R.C. car. Admittedly, Ogier's Škoda profited from Citroën's & Ford's difficulties, but the stage win was won over the remaining Citroëns & Fords, no slouches them. If that's what Ogier can do in an S2000 Škoda, what will he be able to do next year in the brand-new Volkswagen W.R.C. car? Whoever partners Hirvonen at Citroën, & however many Ford privateers run, they might be in for a real fight from V.W.

I find myself curiously excited about Volkswagen's entry into the W.R.C. I am without a team for which to root, similar to my first year of watching F1; under no circumstances will I ever root for a Ford—he spat the word out as if it were an obscenity—, but rooting for Citroën seems too easy. Mini runs only a part-time program. Yet how could I root for Volkswagen? In the next paragraph I'm going to take a cheap shot at V.W.'s origins in the Third Reich. On the other hand, I am an admirer of Audi's commitment to & success at Le Mans, & Audi, like Volkswagen & Škoda, is but a small cog in the much larger V.W. Group machine. But I can't root for Volkswagen, can I? Not Volkswagen!



As with Formula One, I love the international character of the World Rally Championship. Of the drivers mentioned today, the Sébastiens, Loeb & Ogier, are French; Solberg & Østberg are Norwegian; Hirvonen & Latvala are Finnish; Neuville is Belgian; Novikov is Russian; & Tänak is Estonian. (Rallying is virtually the national sport in Scandinavia & in the neighboring northern Baltic.) As for the teams, Citroën is French through & through, both the works & the privateer Fords are prepared & run by the British motorsports team M-Sport, & the Minis are prepped by another British firm, Prodrive. Will Volkswagen be as German as the Volk or will they borrow the presumably Czech expertise of stablemates Škoda?

Semi-Pro
Mazda MX-5 Cup

My father is a fanatic. His interest waxes & wanes, never staying for too long on any one thing (except his central, horrifying beliefs, but that's a discussion-cum-lament for another time), but while it lasts he voraciously consumes whatever it is that has struck his fancy. Since July or August, he's been a fan of motorsport for the first time since the early 1970s. With the A.L.M.S., IndyCar, Grand-Am, & World Challenge seasons concluded for the year, he's casting about desperately for something else to fill that void. In using his D.V.R. to search the television listings, he's discovered a program called the Mazda Motorsports Hour, which features coverage of three series, the U.S.F.2000 series, the Star Mazda series (the first two rungs on the "Road to Indy" development ladder), & the MX-5 (Miata) Cup. We've watched MX-5 Cup races from Sebring & Laguna Seca (technically, Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca), both as support races for the American Le Mans Series. We did not see the Miatas at Mid-Ohio, possibly because it was a shared weekend between the A.L.M.S. & the IndyCar Series. The races are O.K., but a poor substitute for the summer's plethora of offerings. I've nothing against development series; beyond recognizing their necessity in training up the next generation of top-flight drivers, they are often fun to watch in & of themselves & it is gratifying to see a driver progress from junior formulae to the show. That said, given my druthers I'd prefer to watch the big boys.

The worst part of the MX-5 Cup is the title sponsor: Playboy magazine. The Playboy Mazda MX-5 Cup. A smut peddler's money spends like anyone else's ("all debts, public & private"), but he's still a smut peddler. I'd be uncomfortable racing a car with "Playboy" & a pair of the bunny logos splashed across the top of the windshield. Arguably, I should be uncomfortable watching cars so festooned, & if I have the courage of my convictions, shouldn't I stop watching the MX-5 Cup?

The Queue
The Master Mind of Mars suffered from two basic problems, one, its brevity (one hundred sixty pages in a large font, compared to The Chessmen of Mars at two hundred twenty pages in a smaller font), & two, the anonymous nature of its protagonist, Ulysses Paxton. "Vad Varo," Paxton's Martian name, isn't a bad character, but too little is done to distinguish him from fellow Earthman John Carter or Martians on similar quests, like Carthoris of Helium & Gahan of Gathol. There were times when the plot of Master Mind felt a little too familiar (the damsel in distress, the evil jeddak, the superstitious religion), but I've decided that this is an example of not fixing what isn't broken; sure, the Barsoom stories follow a definite formula, but it's a winning formula. Still, I'd like to see John Carter, the Warlord of Barsoom, & his incomparable Dejah Thoris return to the fore.

There has been, despite assurances to the contrary, a slight reshuffling of the queue. The time has finally come to read Leviathan, in part because I am infuriated by the misuse of the adjective "Hobbesian" in contemporary American politics.

Recently
Bob Haney, Ramona Fradon, & Sal Trapani, et al., Showcase Presents: Metamorpho, Vol. 1
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Chessmen of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Master Mind of Mars

Currently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, A Fighting Man of Mars

Presently
Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan; or, The Matter, Forme, & Power of a Common Wealth Ecclesiastical & Civil
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Swords of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Synthetic Men of Mars
Sir Ernest Shackleton, South: A Memoir of the Endurance Voyage
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Llana of Gathol
Edgar Rice Burroughs, John Carter of Mars
Sir Richard Francis Burton, translator, The Arabian Nights (specifically, "Ali Baba & the Forty Thieves")

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Rob Carriker, "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" from Over There!: Songs from America's Wars (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The R.B.D.S.O.T.D. was to have been "What the Hell (acoustic)," the third version of that song from the album Goodbye Lullaby, but "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" received the nod after a dream this morning, the principal event of which was a rousing group rendition of the song. The Carriker version received the nod for its classic & earnest tone. (There are five renditions of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" in my music library.)

Tomorrow, the R.B.D.S.O.T.D. starts to celebrate Hallowe'en!

Monday, October 22, 2012

The Explorers' Club
№ CCCXI - The Park of the Monsters.







That the news item below caught my eye—& roused my ire—on the same day as the publication of the above episode of "The Explorers' Club," also dealing with an Italian idiosyncrasy, is pure coincidence. The Park of the Monsters was scheduled to appear today at least a fortnight in advance. That said, I cannot help but recall the words of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine's "plain, simple Garak,": "I believe in coincidences. Coincidences happen every day. But I don't trust coincidences."

Science!
The Italians must be crazy: earthquake-link! While I can certainly understand the anguish of those who lost kith & kin in the earthquake, to hold the scientists responsible for manslaughter is risible. They didn't cause the earthquake, & earthquake prediction cannot & should be held to the standards the court seems to be demanding. It just doesn't work that way! Predicting earthquakes is not like drawing up a train schedule, a circumstance in which a man might reasonably be responsible for a fatal deviation from the schedule. Italian justice: a contradiction in terms.

"No, GIR! Those piggies are for science. Science!"

The Winged Wheel
It's hard enough to be a hockey fan while the monster Bertuzzi is wearing a Red Wings sweater, but it's harder still when there is simply no hockey being played. The N.H.L. is a nigh-perfect exemplar of how not to run a professional sports league. Alas! All is not lost, though, as visiting the Detroit Red Wings' official website directs one to an advertisement for tickets to the Great Lakes Invitational (G.L.I.), a glorious end-of-the-year college hockey tradition—to be held this year out of doors in Comerica Park, the poorly named home of baseball's Detroit Tigers—, & other collegiate hockey games to he held in "The Joe," the Joe Louis Arena, home of the Red Wings. The N.H.L. might not be playing, but the G.L.I. will go on!

The valiant Wolverines & the dastardly Spartans are always two of the four clubs invited to the G.L.I. Go Blue!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Barenaked Ladies, "Hello City" (live) from Rock Spectacle (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The title should be "Hello, City," because the city is being addressed. "Hello City" would be proper if if that was the proper name of the municipality, like Kansas City or Gotham City. "Hello, & welcome to Hello City!"

Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Victors
(№ 23) Michigan 12-10 Michigan State
5-2, Big Ten 3-0

There is nothing else quite so thrilling, quite to nerve-racking as a close football game in which your club prevails. Yesterday's victory by the valiant Wolverines over the dastardly Spartans was just such a game, one that had me on tender hooks. The low point for me was not the dastardly Spartans' first down on a fake punt, for by this time I expect such trickery from that snake Dantonio, M.S.U.'s head coach/chief of unsportsmanlike conduct. It was our own fault for not being prepared for such a trick & I hope our special teams coach was given a stern rebuke for his failure to prepare his players. No, the low point was the fourth quarter touchdown that wasn't, when the ball was thrown slightly behind Jeremy Gallon, but still in a position to be caught by any minimally competent receiver. This was such a bitter blow not principally because of the individual Wolverine's failure to perform, but because those kinds of missed opportunities are a leading cause of defeats. The valiant Wolverines have made undeniable progress under Coach Hoke & his staff, but are not yet fundamentally sound enough as a team to waste those sorts of opportunities & still except to prevail. That the valiant Wolverines prevailed despite such mistakes is due principally to the tenacious & aggressive play of the defense squad. Well done, lads! That said, the offensive squad rose to the occasion when the dastardly Spartans turned the ball over in the last two minutes, & advanced to a position from which the game-winning field goal was kicked. The valiant Wolverines remained perfect at home under Coach Hoke & won an important rivalry game.

Victories over the dastardly Spartans are curiously hollow affairs. Though I take great joy in this individual humbling of the snake Dantonio, a vulgar, petulant, & infantile wretch, a win over Michigan State isn't nearly as pleasing as a win over, to pick a random example, Ohio State. You see, Michigan State shouldn't be hard to defeat. Sure, there is the in-state rivalry to consider, with all its attendant emotions & complications, but beyond that, if I might be so bold as to speak for my fellow Wolverines, we don't consider Michigan State any sort of equal, not even remotely. We don't respect Michigan State because… well, what is there to respect about Michigan State? That was unkind. State's animal husbandry & packaging engineering programs are world-class. Beyond that, though, they are boorish illiterates who delight in the public torching of furniture & who wouldn't know sportsmanship if they called its grandmother a whore to her face. They are entirely unpleasant company, & that's without even mentioning the curious, unsettling stench that permeates East Lansing & clings to every unfortunate soul who spends more than a few fleeting hours in those unfortunate environs. So, victories against the dastardly Spartans are not great achievements to be celebrated, they are simply restorations of the proper order a things, a proper order that in their heart of hearts even Spartans admit to themselves. Mike Hart's remarks struck such a nerve because they reflected a truth that was universally perceived but never before properly articulated; Michigan State is Michigan's "little brother," & yesterday little brother was restored to his rightful place of subservience. So, now that that aggravating little sideshow is behind us, the valiant Wolverines can resume the business of vying for the "Legends" Division title & a berth in the Big Ten championship game.

Go Blue!

This Week in Motorsport
By Endurance We Conquer
American Le Mans Series
Round 10
Petit Le Mans
Saturday, 20 October 2012

The 15th Annual Petit Le Mans was a wonderful reminder of why I so love endurance racing, & a lovely close to an A.L.M.S. season that saw my enthusiasm for the series renewed & my first attendance at a race weekend. There was concern for the grandeur & relevance of the Petit Le Mans after the race was left off the inaugural F.I.A. World Endurance Championship (W.E.C.) calendar, but the international flavor was retained by the inclusion of the European Le Mans Series competitors, in a rescheduled & trans-Atlantic finale to their abbreviated season. Swiss team Rebellion Racing, P1 privateer champions of the W.E.C. (there is a trophy for the best of the privateers, separate from the World Championship for the big factory teams from Audi & Toyota), set the pace & earned the victory, traversing one thousand miles around Road Atlanta in under ten hours. Petit Le Mans, the W.E.C. privateer trophy, & a fourth place at the 24 Heures du Mans—only one spot off the podium, ahead of one of the imperious Audi R18s, & best amongst privateer P1 entries; Rebellion has had a most laudable 2012. Congratulations, gentlemen!

Season-long A.L.M.S. battles were decided, with Muscle Milk Picket Racing winning the P1 championship over Dyson Racing & Level 5 Motorsports winning the P2 crown over rivals Conquest Endurance. Corvette Racing wrapped up the G.T. title at the previous round at V.I.R., but all credit to Extreme Speed Motorsports for winning Petit in a lightning quick Ferrari. The № 3 Corvette—driven by Jan Magnusson, Antonio Garcia, & Jordan Taylor—finished second yesterday, approximately thirty seconds behind the Ferrari, making 2012 the first A.L.M.S. season in which Magnusson has not won a race. Drat & curses! Still, season victory for Corvette!

The Petit Le Mans is contested over one thousand miles or ten hours, whichever comes first. Such a race is simply unsuited to being chopped down into a two-hour programming block; so, I took the decision to watch as much of the race as I could (taking a definite back seat to the Michigan-Michigan State football game) live on ye olde interweb. The streaming feed on espn3.com was somewhat improved from that last time I watched it in '11. The commentary was provided by the splendid chaps from Radio Le Mans, mad-dog endurance racing fanatics after my own heart. Watching online, in real time, provided a sense of the race that E.S.P.N.'s butchery had never captured. Petit is a marathon—the action waxes & wanes, the race twists & turns as the leaders tick off the laps. Long races have moods, fits of pique & pathos. A thousand miles have a rhythm & a sense of ordered chaos that does not translate into two hours of numb highlights. I am tremendously glad I watched much of the race online in real time. (Even better, as part of the A.L.M.S./Grand-Am merger, next year the season-opening 12 Hours of Sebring & the season-closing Petit Le Mans will be broadcast live on Speed: on television, in real time, from flag to flag, it's like I'm dreaming!)

That wraps up the fourteenth & penultimate season of the American Le Mans Series. The racing year is winding down; there are four F1 grands prix left, two more World Rally Championship rounds (including the one run this weekend that I won't see 'til later tonight or tomorrow), & the final leg of the W.E.C. Thanks for reading.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Avril Lavigne, "What the Hell (Bimbo Jones Remix)" from Goodbye Lullaby (T.L.A.M.)

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Lies, Damned Lies, & the News
Interesting, is it not, that a few weeks ago, before the debates, N.P.R. was like every other news outfit, reporting that the Gallup poll favored President Obama over Governor Romney—& that therefore the election was essentially over—‚ but now that the Gallup is reversed & Governor Romney holds a bigger lead over President Obama than Mr. Obama held before the debates I heard—just yesterday—not one but two different stories on N.P.R. on the unreliability of polls & how the real way to predict an election's outcome is to consult overseas bookmakers, where the odds still favored the president's re-election. When the polls favor Mr. Obama, the polls were so reliable that we might as well not even bother with the election; when the polls do not favor Mr. Obama, the polls are so unreliable that bookies are promoted as the new Oracle at Delphi. That kind of naked partisanship is not exactly what was meant when many persons called out for greater transparency from the Fourth Estate.

This Week in Motorsport
By Endurance We Conquer
American Le Mans Series (A.L.M.S.)
Round 5
Grand Prix of Mosport
Sunday, 22 July 2012

The race from (sponsor) Motorsports Park, formerly Mosport (pronounced "Moe-sport"), was the second of three races broadcast live on television. Rather, at least part of the race was broadcast live. The race was two hours forty-five minutes long; the live coverage started one hour into the race & covered the remaining hour & forty five minutes, plus fifteen minutes for interviews with class winners & the trophy presentations. This is an imperfect solution, but it entirely superior to the other procedure, which it to take a two hour forty five minutes race & edit it down to be broadcast in two hours on the following day.

Mosport is an excellent track, one worth the frustration of having the A.L.M.S. journey to the loathsome Canadas.

Round 6
Mid-Ohio Sports Car Challenge
Saturday, 4 August 2012

Mid-Ohio, like Lime Rock & Mosport before it, saw another partially live television broadcast, but I saw the race live in its entirety from the Turn 4 grand stands. Woot! There is a tremendous speed differential betwixt the P1 prototype & the other four classes of cars in the race, especially the spec. G.T. Challenge Porsches. I knew this from television & reading about the races, but didn't fully comprehend 'til I saw with mine own eyes the Muscle Milk Honda ARX-o3a pass other cars as if they were standing still. It seemed that every thirty seconds (in reality, about a minutes & ten seconds) the white & black blur flashed by, appearing & disappearing in little more than the blink of an eye. Holy smoke!

My father & I opted not to rent a race radio, which might well have been a mistake. (I know, I know, I still owe you a proper accounting of my first real race experience. I am terribly behind on everything.) It was only with some not insignificant difficulty, including leaving our seats to take a gander at the nearby Jumbo-tron, which carried the T.V. feed, that were we able to keep clear which car was leading each class (with the obvious exception of the P1-leading Honda mentioned above). At the end of the day, Corvette Racing prevailed over the damnably quick Porsche from Flying Lizard Motorsports. Hooray! All was right with the world.

Round 7
Road Race Showcase
Saturday, 18 August 2012

The four-hour race at Road America (quite possibly America's greatest racing circuit) featured the closest finish I've ever seen, literally fractions of the second after four hours of hard racing. The Mazda-powered Dyson Racing prototype does not have the pace to keep up with the Honda-powered Muscle Milk entry, not over a whole race lap, but the turbocharged Mazda powerplant doesn't have some advantage over the Honda engine is low-end torque, allowing the Dyson to get uto speed faster from a standing start & to accelerate more quickly out of slow corners & up hills. Muscle Milk was fast, but was plagued by electrical gremlins; Dyson made hay while the sun shone & pounded out lap after lap after lap. When the Muscle Milk finally emerged from the garage area, it was blisteringly fast, but several laps behind the Dyson. Inexorably, the Honda gained ground & gained ground & eventually unlapped itself. The Honda drew closer & closer to the Mazda, following right on its tail through the last few laps. On the final lap, at the very last corner, the Honda made a desperate drive to the inside, got "underneath" the Mazda, & assumed the lead! But the last corner is at the bottom of a hill, & as the two prototypes climbed the hill the turbocharging of the Mazda-engined Dyson gave it an edge in power & the two cars crossed the finish line with the nose of the Muscle Milk Honda in line with the rear wheels of the Dyson Mazda. It was the next closest thing to a photo finish! There is more to endurance racing than pure speed. had the Honda been more reliable, it would have carried the day, but because the Dyson squad were able to keep their slower car on the road, the day was theirs. "By endurance we conquer." What a race!

Round 8
Baltimore Sports Car Challenge
Saturday, 1 September 2012

In an earlier episode of "This Week in Motorsport," I described the Baltimore steer circuit as a "train wreck" (Wayback Machine, scroll down to "Indy Rock"). That was in the context of the IndyCar Series, open-wheeled single-seaters being the most nimble of race cars; for prototypes meant to conquer the wide open, high-speed Circuit de la Sarthe in Le Mans, France, the narrow concrete canyons of Baltimore, especially marred as they are by railroad tracks, are entirely inappropriate. The prototypes can't even really race at Baltimore, they can merely circulate & hope not to crash. The appalling Baltimore street circuit is on the just-announced 2013 schedule, but the lovely Mid-Ohio road course (& you know how much it takes for me to praise anything in Ohio) is not. Scandal! The race results don't matter, they were the result of chance not skill or preparation.

Round 9
V.I.R. 240
Saturday, 15 September 2012

There had not before been a race at the Virginia International Raceway (V.I.R., stylized as VIRginia International Raceway), but as a testing course Car and Driver magazine had raved about the facility. Perhaps their praise had created unrealistic expectations. I found the "Full Course" layout suitable, but unremarkable. The № 4 Corvette won the race in the G.T. class & thereby won the G.T. Team Championship for Corvette Racing & the G.T. Drivers' Championship for pilots Oliver Gavin & Tommy Milner. Huzzah! David Letterman's B.M.W.s are dethroned, the Corvettes are back on top, & all's right with the world!

Next: the season finale is being run today, the 15th Annual Petit Le Mans at Road Atlanta. The race is ten hours or one thousand miles, whichever comes first (always one thousand miles). The Petit Le Mans is not a round of the new F.I.A./A.C.O. World Endurance Championship (W.E.C.) as it was part of the A.C.O.'s solo Intercontinental Le Mans Cup (which was so successful that the F.I.A. asked the A.C.O. to form & run the W.E.C.), but is being run jointly as the season finale of the European Le Mans Series; so, both the prototype & G.T. ranks are swollen, with forty-three cars in the field, including the unclassified, ultra exotic DeltaWing, which ran with such fanfare at Le Mans.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The University of Michigan Marching Band, "M Fanfare" from Hurrah For the Yellow and Blue (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Go Blue!

Friday, October 19, 2012

The Explorers' Club
№ CCCX - The Basilica of Saint Louis, King of France (the "Old Cathedral"), Saint Louis.







Commentary: The Cathedral Basilica of Saint Louis (the "New Cathedral") is a much larger, more impressive structure, though it lacks the historical firsts & scenic locale of the Old Cathedral. Remember, kids, there can be only one cathedral in a diocese. Saint Peter's Basilica in Vatican City? Not a cathedral. The Pope's cathedral, in his capacity as the Bishop of Rome, is the Archbasilica of Saint John Lateran, outside the walls of the Vatican.

Operation ÖSTERREICH
I equalled yesterday's record time precisely today. The times were exact to the second (I didn't pay attention to the tenths or the hundredths of a second); I freely admit that my timing procedure is too suspectible to variance for competition, but I'm also satisfied that today's time, even if not exactly the same was yesterday's, is still two minutes faster than what was, up until Thursday morning, the best time I'd even done. At the peril of courting hubris, I declare progress to have been made!

Also, I've discovered that ambient temperature is the single largest factor in determining how much I sweat during my daily constitutional, more important even than mine own level of exertion. I've pushed myself mightily in the last two days, yet my T-shirt has been less sweat-soaked than on less swift laps on hotter days. The temperatures have been autumnal & the Accursed Sun has been obscured by clouds, & my feet have been soaked by the occasional puddle, sometimes hidden beneath a mat of wet leaves. The key now is to continue to push, to embrace the old S.K.P. Machine élan.

The Victors
Tomorrow is the annual football game 'twixt the University of Michigan's valiant Wolverines & Michigan Agricultural State College University's dastardly Spartans. This is the most bitterly divided day of the year in the State of Michigan, a pair of peninsulas in which almost every citizen has an allegiance to one or the other school, including many who are alumni of neither institution. The "great divide" cuts across families & friendships; I am spared the indignity of having kin who are Spartans (though my family line is lousy with Buckeyes, an even greater shame), but I have several kith who boast of that ignominious distinction. The divisiveness has been less this week than is usual in the days leading up to the U. of M.-M.S.U., because Michiganders have been united in cheering on the Detroit Tigers' sweep on the New York Yankees in the baseball playoffs. Have no fear, the internecine vitriol will still be at a fever pitch by kickoff tomorrow afternoon, for the Tigers easily disposed of the Yankees, the team most of America loves to hate, & now Michiganders can resume our annual backyard brawl.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Avril Lavigne, "What the Hell" from Goodbye Lullaby (T.L.A.M.)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Operation ÖSTERREICH
I set a new personal best today, a minute & fourteen seconds faster than yesterday's record pace, & a full two minutes faster than the previous course record. In my youth I was a swimmer, in my dotage I am a Formula One fan; both are sports in which the margin by which victory & defeat are determined is oft measured in fractions of a second. I think it not immodest to say that two minutes over the course of two & a half miles is a significant improvement. Today's daily constitutional was comprised of three distinct locomotive styles: walking, jogging, & a walking-jogging hybrid that was new to me & initially unintentional. From the first, I knew that I was flying, but I'd gone about half a block before I was consciously aware of the manner in which my body was moving, the aforementioned hybrid. That continued for two blocks before I resumed my more normal walk, but this soon gave way to a genuine jog. 'Twas a place on the route where I'd never before jogged. I thereafter alternated 'twixt walking & the hybrid, 'til I reached the spot on the return leg where I'd previously jogged; I broke into a full jog & continued farther than I'd ever jogged in the history of the daily constitutional. I did not jog again after that (relative) sprint, but alternated between walking & the hybrid. Toward the end of the course I could feel the fatigue in my legs. I time the daily constitutional but I don't take splits, so I cannot say how that final leg compared to a formal final leg, but it felt slow. The real test will come tomorrow. Will I awake stiff & sore? Will I have the vim to set a time anywhere in the ballpark of today's record? Only the fullness of time shall tell the tale, but for today, that was a heck of a time.

This Week in Motorsport
Formula Fun!
Formula One World Championship
Round 16
Grand Prix of Korea
Sunday, 14 October 2012

Red Bull's back, baby! On Sunday, reigning double World Champion Sebastian Vettel ('10 & '11) of Red Bull (Renault) won his third consecutive grand prix, becoming the first driver to win four grands prix on the year & three grand prix in a row, & passing double World Champion Fernando Alonso ('05 & '06) of Ferrari to take the lead in the Drivers' Championship. 'Twas Vettel's second consecutive victory at the Korea International Circuit. Adding to the good news, Mark Webber of Red Bull finished second & both McLarens (Mercedes) had a rotten day ('08 World Champion Lewis Hamilton finished tenth, '09 World Champion Jenson Button did not finish, crashing out on lap one), increasing Red Bull's lead atop the Constructors' Championship standings. In fact, Ferrari passed McLaren into second place. For the second consecutive race, Red Bull locked out the front row, though in the reverse order from Japan: Webber on the pole & Vettel starting second. Everything's coming up Red Bull!

The Ferraris of Alonso & Felipe Massa finished third & fourth, a fine result for the Scuderia that would leave me scowling but for one thing. Massa was clearly faster than Alonso, who entered the grand prix leading the Drivers' standings, but the Ferrari brain trust sitting on the pit wall radioed Massa to forbid him from passing Alonso. Massa had the speed potentially to chase down Webber for second place, but Ferrari ordered him to stay behind the slower Alonso. As if that wasn't enough, they even radioed Massa to back off & give Alonso more room; I howled with glee at those radio calls, mocking Alonso as the "delicate genius" (thank you, George Costanza) who mustn't be disturbed. Bwa ha ha ha ha! It was so grand to see Ferrari's true colors, & I'm not talking about rosso corsa, Italian racing red. Man alive, I hate Ferrari! Even though they finished third & fourth in the Korean Grand Prix, Sunday was still a great day to hate Ferrari.

Next: the Indian Grand Prix on the last weekend of October.

Beyond Thunderdome
International V8 Supercars Championship
Round 21
Bathurst 1,000
Sunday, 7 October 2012

Holy smokes! Bathurst is quintessentially Australian madness, a thousand kilometer endurance race around an incredibly fast, incredibly narrow, incredibly steep course originally built as a scenic drive (& thus the circuit's name, Mount Panorama). Australia's great race was broadcast in an edited form, with the race call by the usual crew from Australia's Seven Network; though I greatly enjoyed last year's live broadcast of the whole of the Bathurst 1,000, there's no denying that the call by the Aussies was better than last year's call by a pair of Speed's good ole boy N.A.S.C.A.R. commentators. The Australians know their sport backwards & forwards, & understand the challenges of a road course better than their oval-obsessed American counterparts. I could watch a race like the Bathurst 1,000 every weekend, a race so fast, a circuit so perilous, a finish so close. One need only watch the great race once to understand why Bathurst is the crown jewel of the V8 Supercars calendar.

Next: a pair of races from the Surfers Paradise Street Circuit, in metropolitan Gold Coast. The wrinkle is that each car must not only be shared 'twixt two drivers (the same as at Bathurst & Sandown, which along with Gold Coast make up the V8 Supercars "season of endurance"), but the drivers must be "international." Australians are allowed to compete as second drivers, but only if they normally race outside of Australia. Because the race falls on the same weekend—this coming weekend—as the American Le Mans Series season finale, the Petit Le Mans, many sports car racing drivers who would normally compete are unavailable; so, a sizable contingent of IndyCar competitors will swell the ranks of the internationals. (A smaller band of IndyCar pilots will be at the Petit Le Mans, where three drivers are necessary instead of the usual two.)

Rally Monkey
Ford have announced that their factory effort is kaputt at the end o' this season. Ford will still be supporting customer teams, the Fiesta being the most numerous car in the W.R.C., but the works effort is no more. Fear not, this will not leave Citroën as the only full-season works team (B.M.W. Minis runs only as privateers), as Volkswagen was already gearing up for a full-season W.R.C. campaign in '13. Against Mikko Hirvonen & his yet-to-be-announced Citroën teammate, V.W.'s driving duo will be Sébastien Ogier, who spent '11 at Citroën as the bane of seven time World Champion Sébastien Loeb's existence (dual & dueling Sébastiens!), & Ford's "Flying Finn" Jari-Matti Latvala. Where does this leave Latvala's Ford teammate '03 World Champion Petter Solberg? Probably back in the privateer ranks. I certainly hope he doesn't retire. There is talk of Hyundai entering the W.R.C., but Hyundai is something of a windbag, & I won't believe 'til I see it. I'd be happy to have them in the W.R.C.—the more the merrier, I say—but they have a track record of not following through on grandiose announcements.

The next rally is already underway on Sardinia. Qualifying was held today & the drive in anger starts tomorrow.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
They Might Be Giants, "She's an Angel" (live) from Severe Tire Damage (T.L.A.M.)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Victors
(№ 25) Michigan 45-0 Illinois
4-2, Big Ten 2-0

I was resigned to being unable to watch the Homecoming game due to Saturday's nuptials in the City of Broad Shoulders. Resigned but unhappy, as I groused for weeks in advance, "Who the hell schedules a wedding for a Saturday in the fall?" I was delighted to learn that I'd failed to account adequately for the lengthy interval 'twixt the early afternoon wedding & the early evening reception. Relatively rare have been the occasions when I have had a hotel room all to myself, so I spread my possessions hither & thither, sprawled out on the bed, & sat back to a most satisfactory afternoon. The domination of the valiant Wolverines over the feisty Fighting Illini was complete, & Shoelace was at his most masterful. Closely contested football games are the most invigorating, but every now & again it does a soul good to see a thrashing; I do not deny the viciousness in my character.

The next contest will be a stiffer test, against our "little brother," the dastardly Spartans. Their wining streak is far too long & they have gotten far too big for their britches. Those illiterate arsonists needs to be taken down a notch.

Go Blue!

Operation ÖSTERREICH
Three items. Item the first: I set a new personal best today, fifty seconds better than the previous course record. This is arguably invalid, as I jogged part of the distance, but I think I shall count the personal best as valid, because should not jogging the entire distance, & much beyond, be my eventual goal? Item the second: Today's daily constitutional surpassed the number of such walks taken during the initial outdoors walking phase, from May to early July. More sessions in less time—that can be only to the good. Item the third: 'Twas a traffic jam out on my course today, as I encountered three other walkers/joggers. The previous record was two other walkers/joggers. Today was an unseasonably warm, sunny day, a perfect day for a little exercise out of doors. That is all; the work continues apace.

The Queue
Plainly discernible from the tone of I Love Michigan/I Hate Ohio State is that the author is not a Michigan man. He roots for the valiant Wolverines, but only in football, making him a faithless cur. He was never himself a Wolverine; instead, he was a newspaperman (a thoroughly disreputable profession) for the late, unlamented Ann Arbor News who merely covered the valiant Wolverines, & he thinks this qualifies him to pontificate on what Wolverines love about the University of Michigan & disdain about THE Ohio State University. It is to laugh. I should read something by John U. Bacon to get the bad taste out of my mouth.

Recently
Bob Haney, Ramona Fradon, & Sal Trapani, et al., Showcase Presents: Metamorpho, Vol. 1
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Chessmen of Mars
Rich Thomaselli, I Love Michigan: Personal Stories about the World's Greatest Team, Fans, and Traditions/I Hate Ohio State: Personal Stories about the Absolute Worst Team, Fans, and Traditions

Currently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Master Mind of Mars

Presently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, A Fighting Man of Mars
Sir Ernest Shackleton, South: A Memoir of the Endurance Voyage
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Swords of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Synthetic Men of Mars
Sir Richard Francis Burton, translator, The Arabian Nights (specifically, "Ali Baba & the Forty Thieves")

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Reel Big Fish, "S.R. (the many versions of)" (live) from Our Live Album is Better Than Your Live Album (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "The many versions of" the ska song "S.R." include such genres as punk rock, blues, disco, country, garage rock, old-school rap, death metal (decried by the band themselves as "terrifying"), & emo.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Explorers' Club
№ CCCIX - The Basilica of Saint Petronius (San Petronio), Bologna.







The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Taylor Swift, "Better Than Revenge" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: This morning, I'd have put money (metaphorically, not literally) on Potshot furnishing the R.B.D.S.O.T.D., but by this evening Miss Swift's perky yet dark song was calling to me.

Monday, October 15, 2012

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Mustard Plug, "Miss Michigan" from Evildoers Beware! (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Not that I'm bitter about flying solo at Mr. Danny Boy's wedding.

"I've done it before and I'll do it again,
I've seen the path and I've seen its end,
I've said it before and I'll say it again,
I think I'm better off just dating Miss Michigan!"

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Science!
The Red Bull Stratos "Mission to the Edge of Space" ended well, with parachutist Felix Baumgartner returned safely to earth: Flight of the Felix. It is likely that Baumgartner set new records for the jump from the highest altitude & the greatest speed attained by a human being without a vehicle, though we are still waiting on official confirmation from the world governing body, the Fédération Aéronautique Internationale (F.A.I., not to be confused with the automotive F.I.A.). I watched the initial ascent of the Stratos capsule (to my knowledge, the capsule doesn't have a proper name, which is a genuine shame) from my hotel room before courtesy compelled me to finally put in my appearance at the morning-after brunch, the finale to the weekend's wedding festivities (a "Project MERCATOR" post is forthcoming). I missed the remainder of the ascent & the thrilling descent while motoring from Chicago to Grand Blanc in the Lumi the Snow Queen. Holy smokes, he did it! He did it!

"No, GIR! Those piggies are for science. Science!"

The Queue
The Chessmen of Mars finished stronger than it began, which was a nice surprise after the previous Barsoom volume, Thuvia, Maid of Mars, was sabotaged by a weak, hurried ending. I'd still love for the focus of the books to return to John Carter, the Warlord of Mars, & Dejah Thoris, his incomparable bride, but the tales of their children (son Carthoris in Thuvia & daughter Tara in Chessmen) still make for rip-roaring yarns. A brief side trip into unabashed partisanism & then back to Barsoom for more of Burroughs's brilliance.

Recently
Mike W. Barr & Jim Aparo, Showcase Presents: Batman and the Outsiders, Vol. 1
Bob Haney, Ramona Fradon, & Sal Trapani, et al., Showcase Presents: Metamorpho, Vol. 1
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Chessmen of Mars ***resumed***

Currently
Rich Thomaselli, I Love Michigan: Personal Stories about the World's Greatest Team, Fans, and Traditions/I Hate Ohio State: Personal Stories about the Absolute Worst Team, Fans, and Traditions

Presently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Master Mind of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, A Fighting Man of Mars
Sir Ernest Shackleton, South: A Memoir of the Endurance Voyage
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Swords of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Synthetic Men of Mars
Sir Richard Francis Burton, translator, The Arabian Nights (specifically, "Ali Baba & the Forty Thieves")

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Blues Brothers, "Sweet Home Chicago" from The Blue Brothers: Original Soundtrack recording (Mr. Danny Boy)

Commentary: "Sweet Home Chicago," performed by The Blues Brothers, was the last song played at last night's wedding reception, a most excellent decision on the bride & bridegroom's part.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

The Explorers' Club
№ CCCVIII - The Cathedral of Our Lady of Rheims.







Lies, Damned Lies, & the News
I had the misfortune of seeing a few moments of C.N.N. yesterday morning, & witnessed something extraordinary. The anchorwoman was discussing Thursday night's vice presidential debate 'twixt Messers. Biden & Ryan & wanted to highlight a poll, taken by C.N.N. immediately after the debate, regarding whom was considered the victor. The onscreen graphic read:

"Ryan 48%
Biden 44%

Margin of error +/-5"

To which the anchorwoman, Ashley Banfield, said, "So, I know, Biden clearly won the debate." I did not watch the vice presidential debate & thus have no informed opinion as to whom prevailed, but I do know a wee little bit about both mathematics & the English language. The results of the poll were within the margin of error, making it impossible to say either candidate "clearly" carried the day. But even considering the margin of error Representative Ryan drew a higher rating than Vice President Biden, making it impossible to say Mr. Biden "won." I'm torn as to which is more galling, the subjective left-wing bias or the objective falsity of asserting that forty-four is greater than forty-eight. Strike that, the doubt is erased. Definitely the objective falsehood.

I know, I know, it's my fault for not covering my ears & not running from the room screaming at the first sign of the plague that is twenty-four-hour cable news.

The Rebel Black Dot 007 Song of the Day
Chris Cornell, "You Know My Name" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Thus concludes the R.B.D.S.O.T.D.'s fête of the fiftieth anniversary of Dr. No, the first James Bond feature film. Here's looking forward, with some trepidation, to November's release of Skyfall.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Operation AXIOM
Five hundred twenty years ago to the day, 12 October 1492, Christopher Columbus discovered the New World. The world in which we "live, thrive, and survive" is scarcely imaginable had the Old World not come to know, & in the fullness of time be redeemed by, the New. We forget the courage of the Admiral of the Ocean Seas & the men of the Santa Maria, the Pinta, & the Niña at our peril, for a world without men brave enough to sail over the horizon into unknown waters is a world doomed to mediocrity, decline, & dust. Let us also honor the Admiral's efforts to save souls by bringing the Word, the Light, & the Truth to the heathens of this New World. There would be no Columbia without Columbus, no Plymouth Rock for our forebears to have fled in search of freedom & prosperity, no "last best hope of earth." 'Tis Columbus Day; rejoice in this New World, & the new world it has wrought.



Today is Columbus Day, Friday, 12 October, not Monday, 8 October. The devil take Congress's morale-destroying bid to hollow every holiday of meaning in pursuit of bloating, soul-sapping three-day weekends for unionized public sector employees!

Also, it's been twenty years since the five hundredth anniversary of the discover, 12 October 1992. '92 was twenty years ago; we're getting a little long in the tooth, my contemporaries.

Project GLOWWORM
Yesterday at the library a little girl said, "I like your moustache." When her little brother emerged from the water closet he too beheld my visage & spontaneously said, "I like your moustache." Simply well-mannered youngsters or genuine hope for the future?

The Rebel Black Dot 007 Song of the Day
Lulu, "The Man with the Golden Gun" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Warning: Lewdness ahead.

Perchance to Dream
Last night, I dreamt I was a spy, & inside the dream I knew it was the sequel to a dream I had several weeks hence. The dream took place inside a wood-paneled public house, a warm, inviting place. I ordered a pint, but instead of a Guinness was served something colorful & fruity that the barkeep insisted was a pint of bitter. Next thing, without any segue, I was defending a distressed damsel from I-know-not-what. This cut away to the damsel performing fellatio on me, though not quite me, since the knob she was gobbling was grotesque & preposterously enormous, like something out of pornography. I, the me who was watching the dream, squirmed uncomfortably 'til the action returned to the public house, where I was defending the damsel (now revealed as more of a trollop) with a gas-gun that shot a variety of liquid chemicals. If the waking world influences our dreams, I suspect this is the influence of recently re-reading the adventures of Metamorpho, the Element Man. There was no resolution to the dream, but as I hit the snooze button & drifted in & out of sleep I composed the blog post about the dream, though in my half-awake state that post seemed much more elegant than the above lines. Of course, it's not as if my half-awake self had the presence of mind to write down his supposedly brilliant account; so, he can take a hike, the pervert.

All clear! Lewdness concluded. All clear!

This week in Motorsport
Rally Monkey
World Rally Championship
Round 11
Rallye de France Alsace
Friday-Sunday, 5-7 October 2012

On Sunday, eight-time World Champion Sébastien Loeb ('04, '05, '06, '07, '08, '09, '10, '11; or, '04-'11) of the Citroën factory team prevailed in the French round of the W.R.C., which included a stage run through Loeb's hometown of Haguenau, Alsace, to win his & co-driver Daniel Elena's ninth consecutive World Championship. It was Loeb's eighth victory out of this season's eleven rallies, & the seventy-fifth win of his storied career. With Loeb's victory & a third-place finish for teammate Mikko Hirvonen, the Citroën World Rally Team secured their eighth Constructors' Championship. Loeb's driving is a thing of beauty, & to see a rally progress is to glimpse why he has been so dominant. His speed is in a class all its own. Hirvonen, himself three-time runner-up to Loeb in the W.R.C., has identical equipment, but cannot consistently match Loeb's blistering pace. The factory Fords, piloted by '03 World Champion Petter Solberg & "Flying Finn" Jari-Matti Latvala, the only man besides Loeb to have won a rally so far in 2012 (three wins, actually), count themselves in contention if they steal a few stage wins away from Loeb, even as he retains the overall lead of a rally. Prior to the Rallye de France Alsace, Loeb announced that he & Elena will drive only a partial W.R.C. schedule, anywhere from as few as two to as many as five out of thirteen rallies; so, a new champion, or at least a champion other than Loeb, will be crowned. Loeb will drive a partial season in the World Touring Car Championship, before a potential full-season campaign in 2014, & he may also return to Le Mans, where he has a career-best finish of second in the '06 24 Heures du Mans, driving for Henri Pescarolo's intensely Gallic squad. There is speculation over whom will be Citroën's second full-season driver, alongside the returning Hirvonen, but nothing is yet decided.

As to the rally itself, if you saw footage over the weekend of a race car plunging out of control through a French vineyard, careening into a utility pole that then fell atop the wee race car, yeah, that was from the Rallye de France Alsace, an unscheduled off-road excursion by Solberg & co-driver Chris Patterson. An old axiom states that there's no such thing as bad publicity, but I suspect that's a load of dingo's kidneys. The next round of the W.R.C. is the Rally d'Italia, ahead of the season-ending Rally de España in November.
Science!
Leaping from a literally stratospheric height is lethally perilous under even ideal conditions, but when the winds are such that they would shred the ascending balloon in the first few hundred feet of the flight there is no choice but to postpone the attempt, & try again under more salubrious conditions in the future. This is not the end: Stratos-link. Mayhap the third try will be the charm, but getting the skydive right, & returning Herr Baumgartner to the good earth alive, is the paramount concern, no matter how many attempts are required.

"No, GIR! Those piggies are for science. Science!"

The Queue
Back on track, though my mind is yet enamored of comic-book superheroes. (In that vein, I watched the pilot of the new television series Arrow last night. The best part? The "continuity porn": Black Canary, Merlyn, [Constantine] Drakon, what looked an awful lot like Deathstroke's mask, & a sidelong reference to Speedy's drug problem.)

Recently
Robert Kanigher & Ross Andru, Showcase Presents: Wonder Woman, Vol. 1
Mike W. Barr & Jim Aparo, Showcase Presents: Batman and the Outsiders, Vol. 1
Bob Haney, Ramona Fradon, & Sal Trapani, et al., Showcase Presents: Metamorpho, Vol. 1

Currently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Chessmen of Mars ***resumed***

Presently
Rich Thomaselli, I Love Michigan: Personal Stories about the World's Greatest Team, Fans, and Traditions/I Hate Ohio State: Personal Stories about the Absolute Worst Team, Fans, and Traditions
Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Master Mind of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, A Fighting Man of Mars
Sir Ernest Shackleton, South: A Memoir of the Endurance Voyage
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Swords of Mars
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Synthetic Men of Mars
Sir Richard Francis Burton, translator, The Arabian Nights (specifically, "Ali Baba & the Forty Thieves")

The Rebel Black Dot 007 Song of the Day
Paul McCartney & Wings, "Live and Let Die" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: A rare triple success: Live and Let Die is a pretty good novel, the unfortunate 1950s racism aside; Live and Let Die is a pretty good film, though differing from the novel; & "Live and Let Die" is a pretty good song.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Project GLOWWORM
The seasons have turned quite swiftly, so that hot on the heels of the post-Labor Day retirement of the straw Trilby Mk. III, the linen Trilby was also consigned to winter storage, replaced by the fedora & the flatcap. My flatcap is well-insulated, making it a true cold-weather hat, but I like it enough that I should probably acquire a lighter, slightly more warm-weather flatcap, preferably without a Guinness logo or something similarly gauche. I suspect we're in for at least one more warm spell before the fall chill truly takes hold, so the linen Trilby could very well be in line for a return engagement.

The problem with the fedora, of course, is that one simply cannot pair a fedora with jeans & a polo shirt. The intrinsic appeal of the fedora furnishes additional incentive to up my sartorial game. Speaking of which, however unfashionable a tie pin might be here in the 21st century, I must start wearing mine; the suddenly fierce winds we've experienced in the last few days have been playing havoc with my necktie. The other issue I'm experiencing is that the collars of some of my shirts are now much looser than they were before Operation ÖSTERREICH began to pay dividends, & with some of my undershirts the snug-fitting white collar (normally a virtue I praise in any T-shirt) sometimes shows above the shirt's collar & the knot of the necktie. Distasteful as it is, I see little choice but to experiment with V-neck undershirts.

Just shy of three weeks hence, I trimmed by beard the shortest it's been since it was first growing, after the post-M.M.M. period of reflection & Objective FINNLAND. I did this because it seemed as if the beard was becoming increasingly unruly; more & more wild hairs seemed to be escaping the standard-length trimmings, requiring almost daily culls of the more erect outliers. The metaphor I use, when I do the same thing with my head hair & trim it to the stubbly Level 1 instead of the standard Level 2, is a forest fire. Fires are necessary for the forest to be healthy. Every now & again the accumulated underbrush must be cleared; the fire purges more than it destroys. So it is with the periodic Level 1 "clearing." Alas, the nature of the hairs in my beard—a curly, surly, & gnarly bunch—mitigated away much of the purging effect for which I'd been aiming. There are still tall wild hairs, some having seeming escaped even the shorter trim. I could go shorter, yet, true, but there are few things I hate more in this world than stubble-beards, & I'd be flirting terrifically close to that shameful territory if I trimmed any closer. I've been thrilled in the past week as my beard has finally resumed a familiar aspect. The close trim was a mistake, though well-intentioned. Eternal vigilance & daily culling shall be the order of the day going forward.

Curly & gnarly, sure, but can a beard hair really be surly? I'd venture that I'm better acquainted with my beard than you, dear reader, & I'd ask you to take my word that a hair in a beard can indeed be surly.
The Explorers' Club
№ CCCVII - The Temple (not a cathedral) of Saint Sava, Belgrade.







The Rebel Black Dot 007 Song of the Day
John Barry, "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Instrumental, as was "The James Bond Theme," Sunday's R.B.D.007S.O.T.D.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Science!
Alas, "weather permitting" turned out not to be the case & Felix Baumgartner's record-setting skydive, the culmination of the Stratos project, will have to wait for another day: abort-link.

"No, GIR! Those piggies are for science. Science!"

This Week in Motorsport
Formula Fun!
Formula One World Championship
Round 15
Grand Prix of Japan
Sunday, 7 October 2012

There were shades of 2011 at mighty Suzuka on Sunday, as double reigning World Champion Sebastian Vettel ('10 & '11) of Red Bull (Renault) started the race from pole &, after a brief spell behind the safety car, disappeared into the distance on his way to a dominant victory. By the end, Vettel was twenty seconds ahead of the second-place finisher, Felipe Massa of Ferrari, who scored his first podium of the season. There was a thrilling battle for the third & last step on the podium, a battle all the way to the chequered flag 'twixt Kamui Kobayashi of Sauber (Ferrari) & '09 World Champion Jenson Button of McLaren (Mercedes). It was Kobayashi's first career podium & the first time a Japanese driver has stood on the podium at the Japanese Grand Prix. What a feat!

Vettel became the first driver in 2012 to win back-to-back races, & with his wins at Bahrain & Singapore added to Japan he became the third driver to win three races this season, alongside double World Champion Fernando Alonso ('05 & '06) of Ferrari & '08 World Champion Lewis Hamilton of McLaren. Before Singapore, Vettel was fourth in the Drivers' Championship standings, thirty-nine points adrift of championship leader Alonso; after Japan, Vettel is second, four points adrift of Alonso. In the last two grands prix Vettel has outscored Alonso fifty to fifteen. Following Alonso & Vettel, Hamilton & '07 World Champion Kimi Räikkönen of Lotus (Renault) are seen as the only other drivers with a realistic, though slim, chance to win the title, even though five others are still mathematically eligible.

Mighty Suzuka opened in 1962, this year celebrating its fiftieth anniversary. 'Tis one of the world's great circuits, with the "Esses" being of unparalleled majesty. My favorite course is Belgium's Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps, but the mighty Suzuka Circuit might be my second favorite.

"Silly Season" Summary: The big news before the grand prix was that Lewis Hamilton, aged twenty-seven, who has been sponsored by or driven for McLaren since he was thirteen years-old, will leave McLaren at the end of the season & drive instead for the Mercedes A.M.G. factory team. Hamilton will be partnering his old chum Nico Rosberg, leaving seven-time World Champion Michael Schumacher ('94, '95, '00, '01, '02, '03, & '04), whose return in 2010 after three years' retirement has not gone as well as had been predicted, without a seat; in the wake of this, a visibly relieved Schumacher announced his second retirement. Meanwhile, McLaren were quick to name Sauber's Sergio Pérez as Hamilton's successor, partnering Button. I was not an F1 fan during Schumacher's glory days; so, thought I know his nigh-unbelievable numbers, I'm not overawed by him. The driver I've seen in the last three seasons isn't a legend, he's a dirty driver who wouldn't know sportsmanship if he intentionally forced it off track & into a fiery crash. Good riddance, I say!

The next race is this coming weekend, the Grand Prix of Korea, at the awful Korea International Circuit. The last six grands prix of the season are to be contested in three pairs of back-to-back-weekends: Japan & Korea, India & Abu Dhabi, & the United States & Brazil.

Beyond Thunderdome
International V8 Supercars Championship
Round 21
Bathurst 1,000
Sunday, 7 October 2012

The best race of the V8 Supercars season was run this past weekend, the legendary Bathurst 1,000 (one thousand kilometers, or approximately six hundred twenty miles). Alas, Speed did not repeat their live, full coverage from last season; instead, an edited, greatly shortened presentation will be aired this Sunday. Oh well, beggars cannot be choosers & some coverage of the Bathurst 1,000 is better than no coverage of the Bathurst 1,000. Bathurst is madness, an endurance race up one side of Mount Panorama & down the other, at blinding speeds along a narrow, winding course lined with concrete crash barriers. That kind of barking madness is quintessentially Australian.

Also, I love a public service billboard I've seen in the background of most of the V8 Supercars races I've seen this season, an advert against text messaging whilst driving: M8-IT-CAN-W8 ("Mate, it can wait").