"I couldn't see, what I once saw,
In your lovely face
Once your lovely face
Became commonplace."
--The Proclaimers, "What I Saw in You" from Restless Soul

Clockwork Confusion
At the corner of Robert T. Longway Boulevard and Dort Highway there is a defunct business called the Klock Korner. Why in Bog's name would anyone name something like that? Okay, yes, it was a clock store located perilously close to a corner, but both "clock" and "corner" already start with the letter C. Why change their spellings to start with the letter K? Clock Corner, what's wrong with that? I could understand changing the first letter of one word - if clock was actually spelled "klock," I could see changing corner to "korner" since people find visual "alliteration" nearly as pleasing as actual alliteration - but both words already started with the same letter!

Now, since both "crispy" and "creme" already begin with the letter C, I've always assumed that the Krispy Kreme chain was thusly named as an allusion to the Ku Klux Klan. Krispy Kreme is a Southern company, after all, so what other reason would there be to favor the Klan-esque Krispy Kreme over the proper Crispy Creme?

Krusty the Klown is excused from my ire since spelling Krusty with a K instead of the proper C allowed for "comedy" and "classic" to be modified to be brought into line with Krusty, giving us the hilarious gag of Krusty's Komedy Klassic at the Apollo Theater. Is there anything funnier than an animated clown being pelted with produce?

Anyway, I'm glad the Klock Korner went out of business. I'd be chagrined had the business been named the Clock Corner, since the idea of a dedicated clock store is pretty neat.

Mexican Standoff
Supporters of left-wing Mexican presidential candidate Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador have been fouling up traffic in Mexico City with an enduring campaign of civil disobedience for the better part of a month (hyperlink), waiting for electoral officials to overturn the election of right-wing candidate and now President-Elect Felipe Calderon. Mexican law is clear, Calderon carried the day by the skin of his teeth, but Lopez Obrador's partisans refuse to concede. There's no good way out of this mess and Mexico's politics are going to be paralyzed by years of bitterness no matter the result.

This is a golden opportunity, yet I have not seen a single American newspaper boasting the headline "MEXICAN STANDOFF!" Come on, people! It's a standoff, it's in Mexico, and it can only end badly! It's the perfect Mexican standoff! There are no leaps of logic here. There's no need for semantic gymnastics. This is an honest to Our Lady of Guadalupe Mexican standoff! Oh, man, this is so much fun.

I can't be the only one who's thrilled by this. Don't wait, jump on the Mexican standoff bandwagon! Get exicted, people, it's a Mexican standoff, the best thing in the world after a knife fight in Caracas!