The Stars My Destination
You remember the hospital scene in The Dark Knight, the scene in which The Joker expounds his philosophy of chaos to the newly-created Two-Face? The Joker says, "You know what… you know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go," The Joker makes air quotes, "according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying." Think about those words in the context of today's catastrophic failure of an unmanned Russian Progress capsule: Lost in Space-link.

The word from N.A.S.A. is that there's no reason to panic, things are going according to plan. This is meant to be reassuring, even though the plan is horrifying. What is that plan? To leave manned spaceflight, outside of the propaganda-driven Chinese effort, entirely in the hands of the Russians, with their unmanned Progress cargo haulers & manned Soyuz capsules. (More good news: The manned Soyuz capsule is lifted into orbit by rockets almost identical to that which failed today, dooming the Progress & its cargo to a fiery demise.) But don't panic, because the International Space Station has plenty of supplies, strictly according to plan. Of course, those supplies—the very margin for error that N.A.S.A. is now counting on—were delivered by the Space Shuttle, which has since been retired, also according to plan. Meaning no similar delivery can be made in future, even if the problems in the Russians' rocketry aren't fixed. Today's fiasco is not an isolated incident, either; another Russian rocket, a Proton carrying a satellite, malfunctioned last week. Last. Week. Yet another Proton failed in December, giving the Russians—on whom we are now solely reliant for the transportation into & out of orbit, safe or otherwise, of American & affiliated astronauts as well as Russian cosmonauts—three failures in the last nine months. But, so goes the logic of President Obama's space policy, there is absolutely no reason for concern, because relying exclusively on the Russians was always the plan.

All is well because things are going to plan. "Even if the plan is horrifying."

Obamboozled
Remember, if you voted for then-Senator Obama in 2008, this plan is exactly as he promised. So, take heart, because things are going according to plan.

Project GLOWWORM
I am nearly two weeks overdue for a haircut, due to the snail's pace at which the finishing touches to the renovation of the upstairs water closet are proceeding. That might not sound like a long time to you, but when your hair is as short as mine, & kept that short by being trimmed every three weeks, two extra weeks make a substantial, & unpleasant, difference.

The Queue
I began The Big House last night, & it is gloriously indulgent. The smugness & self-satisfaction of Michigan men that the fans of the hated Buckeyes, the dastardly Spartans, & the vile Fighting Irish grouse about so bitterly is evident on every single page. It's a delight. Go Blue!

More Information Than You Require
Carte Blanche is a reboot of the James Bond literary universe. I'm going to catalog a few of the differences 'twixt the world in which Ian Fleming originally situated 007 in 1952 & that in which Jeffery Deaver now situates him in 2011—&, 'tis hoped, for many adventures to follow. No plot points will be discussed without distinct "spoiler alert" warnings, something along with lines of bells & a siren.

James Bond was born originally in 1924-26, being approximately thirty-seven at the time of Casino Royale, written in '52 & published in '53. The year of Carte Blanche is not given, but Bond is said to be in his thirties; his birth can be pegged to 1978 or '79, since he was eleven years-old at the time of his parents' death in 1990. (Sweet fancy Moses, James Bond is my age, your humble narrator having stormed into the world in the tumultuous Year of Our Lord 1979.) The 007 of Moonraker, the third novel, is already musing about his mandatory retirement from the 00 Section at age forty-five. He counts his attainment of that age as highly improbable, given the eight years 'til then & the average of two truly death-defying missions he conducts every year, in addition to countless more run-of-the-mill jobs. The 007 of Carte Blanche has a decidedly less morbid outlook, having been three years on Her Majesty's secret service & viewing the world as one of infinite horizons.

From it's founding in 1909 until 1994, the existence of the Secret Intelligence Service (S.I.S., a.k.a. "M.I.6" or "Six") was not officially acknowledged by Her Majesty's Government. Fleming thus placed his fictionalized S.I.S.'s headquarters near Regent's Park in central London. Deaver confronts the problem of a publicly accountable S.I.S., an organization that is constrained from carrying out assassinations & headquartered in a highly visible building at Vauxhall Cross, by putting Bond under the command of the Overseas Development Group (O.D.G.), a secret organization officially distanced from M.I.6 & headquartered on the sly in a building near Regent's Park. The cinematic 007 is famous for driving Aston Martins, & later Lotuses & B.M.W.s, but the apple of the literary Bond's eye was a pre-war Bentley, souped up to still be a hellion in the '50s & '60s. The rebooted Bond drives a Bentley Continental G.T. & recalls with fondness the Bentley Speed 8's triumph at the 2003 24 Heures du Mans. Bond was armed originally with a .25 caliber Beretta, & began carrying his now iconic .32 cal. Walther PPK only on M's direct order. In the 21st century, Bond is armed with not only a Walther PPS, standard caliber being .38 (or 9mm), but one chambered for the more powerful .40 round. From .25 to .32. to .40; inflation affects more than just money.

Most of the supporting cast remains the same, shifted forward in time alongside Bond himself. M. is M., still a retired Royal Navy admiral named Miles, & 007's best friend within the service (now the O.D.G., mind) remains M.'s chief of staff, the indefatigable Bill Tanner. Miss Moneypenny is M.'s secretary, while Bond's personal assistant is not by his secretary from the early novels, Loelia Ponsonby, but by his secretary from the later Fleming books, Mary Goodnight. (The only disconcerting part of this is that Goodnight is supposed to be lovely, & was embodied on film by the delectable Britt Ekland, yet Deaver describes her as resembling the gorgon Kate Winslet, the site of whom always makes me gag every so slightly.) Along the way, 007 has contact with his old allies René Mathis & Felix Leiter, & thinks of an incident he wishes to describe to his old friend Ronnie Vallance of Scotland Yard. The greatest change is to Q., no longer old Major Boothroyd but rather the family man & cricket fanatic Sanu Hirani; in purpose & abilities, Q. remains Q.

***Achtung! Spoiler Alert! Achtung!***

The biggest change is most certainly in outlook & behavior. Fleming's Bond lives at close quarters with violent death &, knowing it might overtake him at any moment, lives very much for the moment. Deaver's Bond looks more to the future, even while aware that his chosen lifestyle might preclude many of the things he wants. Bond is very attracted to the O.D.G.'s liaison from S.I.S., Ophelia "Philly" Maidenstone, but does not pursue her due to her engagement. When Bond learns that the engagement has been quashed, he moves in to comfort Philly. Yet, he hesitates, not wishing to be a rebound & thinking that if there is anything real 'twixt he & Philly, it will still be there in a month or two, when she's had time to heal. Fleming's Bond abandoned pursuit of Gala Brand, the most prominent literary Bond girl never to make it to film, when he found out she was engaged, but it's hard to imagine him restraining himself if Gala was no longer encumbered by an engagement ring. Fear not, though, James Bond in Carte Banche is hardly a model of chastity; he begins a tempestuous affair with a strikingly beautiful woman who knows him only by his cover identity—false name, false nationality, false occupation—& beds her mere hours after their mutual introduction. Boys will be boys & James Bond will be James Bond.

***All Clear! End spoiler alert. All Clear!***

Recently
Steve Matchett, Life in the Fast Lane: The Inside Story of Benetton's First World Championship
Len Deighton, SS-GB
Jeffery Deaver, Carte Blanche

Currently
Robert M. Soderstrom, The Big House: Fielding H. Yost and the Building of Michigan Stadium

Presently
John Buchan, The Thirty-nine Steps
Keith Jeffery, The Secret History of M.I.6: 1909-1949
Allen Dulles, The Craft of Intelligence
William F. Buckley, Jr., Saving the Queen

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Icon For Hire, "Make a Move" via iTunes, (free) Discovery Download (of the week) (T.L.A.M.)