One year ago to the day, 21 October 2010, the episode of Jeopardy! on which I appeared as a contestant was broadcast in syndication from coast to coast. The episode, as well as the four other episodes broadcast that week, was taped in August, but I thought it would be more fun for all involved if I didn't reveal anything about the game's outcome until my episode aired. Everything about my experience on Jeopardy!, from taking the online quiz to auditioning in Chicago to that amazing day on the Sony Pictures lot, was absolutely outstanding. Let me repeat that, outstanding; I cannot speak highly enough of everyone involved (except Alex Trebek, with whom I have a small beef, but that will keep for another time). Jeopardy! was amazing from start to finish, & I urge everyone reading this to sign up for the Jeopardy! online quiz, the first step to being a contestant. You've nothing to lose & so very much to gain.
Allow me to correct one common misconception. Most inattentive viewers assume that all contestants on Jeopardy! take home as must money as they've "won" during the course of a game, regardless of whether that contestant wins the game. Hogwash, only the daily champion keeps her winnings. A second-place finish wins $2,000, third-place wins $1,000. If the champion finishes with $20,002, second place with $20,001, & third place with $20,000, the champion walks away with $20,002, second place with $2,000, & third place with $1,000. Bet the farm on Final Jeopardy!, because if you don't grab the brass ring you won't be able to keep it anyway.
I finished Double Jeopardy! in third place, with $8,600 to the returning champ's $12,400 & the other challenger's $12,800 (I was the only one of the three not to hit any of the three Daily Doubles). I bet it all & lost, finishing with $0, but won $1,000; had I bet it all & been right, I would still have finished second, as the other challenger got it right & bet nearly everything. Had I bet less & been right, I might still have gotten second, but I might also have still finished third. Betting everything was my only chance to win the game. Had I bet everything & been right, I would have finished with $17,200 & won $2,000; as it happened, I'm good with finishing with $0 & winning $1,000. Shortly after my episode aired one year ago, I received a telephone call from one of my mother's pinochle friends. She harangued me for betting everything on Final Jeopardy!, reasoning that if I'd bet nothing I'd have won the $8,600 with which I finished Double Jeopardy! She was honestly mad at me. We had a number of my parents' friends over to the house to watch the episode; I was playing host, & feeling touched by their outpouring of support, & also embarrassed over my failure to win the game, & pleased & thrilled by the whole fantastic Jeopardy! experience, & a woman I know only as an acquaintance, my mother's friend not mine own, was yelling at me over the phone. Adding insult to injury, she was yelling at me because she had her basic facts wrong. I was quite rude in what I said back to her, explaining with no delicacy that she was incorrect, that she had her facts wrong & didn't know the rules of the game. I then hung up on her, ringing off without saying a proper goodbye. I don't care that she's my mother's friend, that harridan can go to blazes. The moral of the story? Make sure you have your facts right before intruding yourself into the lives of others. Also, don't be a shrew like that horrible crone.
Another common misconception: they no longer award copies of the home game, not even to the champion. What a gyp!
Project GLOWWORM
I attempted to trim my beard this morning, only to discover that my rechargeable battery-powered beard-trimmer was out of juice. Out of juice? "By Lucifer's beard!" Recharging the blasted thing takes forever & day. I hope to finally tame the beast first thing tomorrow.
The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "I Lost on Jeopardy!" from In 3-D (T.L.A.M.)
Commentary:
"I was there to match my intellect
On national T.V.,
Against a plumber, oh and an architect,
Both with a Ph.D.
…
"That's right, Al, you lost!
And let me tell you what you didn't win:
A twenty-volume set of the Encyclopedia International,
A case of Turtle wax, and a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni,
The San Francisco treat!
But that's not all,
You also made yourself look like a jerk in front of millions of people,
And you brought shame and disgrace on your family name for generations to come.
You don't get to come back tomorrow,
You don't even get a lousy copy of our home game,
You're a complete loser!"
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