The Victors

Saturday, 12 October 2013
Penn State 43-40 Michigan (№ 18) (4 O.T.)
5-1, Big Ten 1-1

No one should be surprised by our loss. We have played so poorly, so apathetically, that we should have lost three games by this point; we didn't win against either Akron or U.Conn., we simply managed not to lose. Against Penn State, the offense's propensity for turnovers, the defense's inability to pressure quarterbacks & general vulnerability to the aerial game, & the coaches' ineptitude all came home to roost. The ferocious Nittany Lions tried to give the game away, & made nearly as many mistakes as we did, but they played to win, whereas too often we played not to lose. We had the opportunity to attempt a long field goal with approximately a minute left in regulation. At the time, we led by seven & a field goal would have sealed the victory. Instead, we punted the ball into the end zone for a net gain of maybe fifteen yards, & Penn State marched down the field in no time at all to score the tying touchdown. Capricious fortune gave us the chance to kick an even longer field goal in the dying seconds, but our place kicker chocked under the pressure & kicked the ball short. (His kick was long enough to have counted from the earlier field-goal mark, the one at which brilliant Brady Hoke & his crack offensive staff decided to punt—not even pooch punt, but kick a regular, long distance punt—to set up Penn State's game-tying drive.) In overtime time, we never played for a touchdown, always relying on the field goal to carry the day. In the second overtime time, when Penn State went first on offense & fumbled the ball, any score would have carried the day. We didn't make even a perfunctory attempt to score a touchdown, we played solely to kick a field goal, which the ferocious Nittany Lions promptly blocked.

I am incapable of insightful analysis, so full of rage & despair am I. Never before, not even during last year's atrocious quintet of losses, have I had so little faith in Coach Hoke & his staff (my long-standing opposition to our incompetent offensive coordinator Al Borges being the most prominent exception). On Saturday, we played as if Rich Rod was still our head coach. Doom, doom, doom. How many games will Michigan lose this year? The back half of the schedule is Indiana, Michigan State, Nebraska, Northwestern, Iowa, & Ohio State, & the valiant Wolverines club that played so poorly against Akron, U.Conn, & Penn State is fully capable of losing four of those six games. Brady Hoke came to Michigan with a 47-51 record as a head coach, & a reputation for turning clubs around. He's certainly turned Michigan around—we're getting worse every year! The '12 valiant Wolverines were worse than the over-achieving '11 valiant Wolverines, & '13 is shaping up to be a much worse year that '12. Maybe I'm overreacting. As I said, I am incapable of insightful analysis right now. But we looked so bad against Penn State, the same way we looked bad against U.Conn. & Akron. Devin Gardner turned the ball over three times——three times!—again. We are not making any tangible improvement as the season goes on.

It is time to start thinking about firing Brady Hoke. I'm not saying that we should do anything as panicky or foolhardy as firing him midseason, or even at the end of this year, no matter how bad things get. What I am advocating is that we start to have a conversation about concrete targets for growth & improvement within the program, targets that he & his bumbling staff must meet next year, or in 2015 at the latest. Al Borges must be fired with immediate effect, because his offense does not work.

Next: Indiana, a club that defeated Penn State by a score of 44-24. The jackals (sports reporters) who decide the A.P. poll have been smart enough to boot our sorry hides out of the Top 25, but those boobs the coaches still have us ranked № 24, the fools.

Go Blue!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
The Hold Steady, "Massive Nights" from Boys and Girls in America (T.L.A.M.)

Sonntag, 13 Oktober
Topol, et al., "To Life" from Fiddler On the Roof (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: L'chaim!

Samstag, 12 Oktober
Less Than Jake, "Bad Scene and a Basement Show" from Borders & Boundaries (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I've always been fascinated by the fact that the title of the song is "Bad Scene and a Basement Show," not "Bad Scene at a Basement Show." A song selected with the Penn State game foremost in my mind.

"It gets worse before it's all over,
I know I'll get through this somehow,
It gets worse before it's all over…

"It gets worse before it's all over,
It gets worse before it's all over,
It gets worse before it's all over,
Nothin's gonna change your mind for now!…"