The Rebel Black Dot Songs of History Quiz Night

Project MERCATOR: Misty Beavers Dynasty—The History of History Quiz Night '16, in Song
Thin Lizzy, "The Boys Are Back in Town" via iTunes (The Last Angry Man)

Commentary: I've competed in the University of Michigan—Flint History Department's annual History Quiz Night eight times (History Quiz Night has been held thirteen times total). The first four times, which included two victories & two second places, I was a nomad. My teams were formed ad hoc & usually at the last minute, & despite our success in the event, no one ever seemed to want me back. I found this both puzzling & hurtful, because I strove always to be a friendly bloke as well as a successful competitor, but then group social dynamics have always puzzled me. In those same years, Red Patton, my pal from the History Club, had formed the Misty Beavers with his pals; they competed well, but could never claim the brass ring, in part because my teams always stood in their way. Red Patton & I were fast friends, but he wondered if I would enjoy being on a team as boisterous as the Misty Beavers.

In the four years that I have been one of the Misty Beavers, I've found a home. We win History Quiz Night & we win the fun. We chant loudly, an act of unrestrained joy that has the ancillary benefit of intimidating our opponents. We laugh & we drink beer by the pitcher. We converse our tokens—cards that can be exchanged for answers from the faculty—for the final round, because we take the competition as seriously as we take ourselves lightly. There is a bittersweet joy to History Quiz Night, because we don't see each other as much as we'd like. Red Patton has moved away in search of work & Mrs. Red Patton's continuing research & education in mad science. Fond as I am of Super Mario & the Blonde Bombshell, & they of me, we don't really socialize without Red Patton as the glue to bind us together (though we are devising a means to overcome this obstacle, with a pub quiz in Fenton). It was grand, it was glorious to be together again as a team. (Bo Schembechler: The team. The team. The team..) We couldn't all be there: the Admiral is on active duty, deployed as a sailor in the United States Navy, & the Animal, the Blonde Bombshell's brother & possibly the most charismatic individual I've ever met, was teaching overseas; but Super Mario, a founding member of the Misty Beavers, was back, having missed last year traveling for work. The core trio was in place—Red Patton, the Blonde Bombshell, & your humble narrator—joined by Super Mario & the Blonde Bombsehll's fiancé, the Cardigan.

The Misty Beavers gathered for the 13th Annual History Quiz Night, having won redemption, having repeated as champions, seeking to cement our dynasty.