Reel Big Fish, "We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful" from We're Not Happy 'Til You're Not Happy (The Last Angry Man)
Commentary: Last year's repeat victory by the Misty Beavers was marked not only by our utter dominance, attaining the high score in each of the quiz's three rounds, but also by Red Patton's bitterness against the "salty bastards" who resented our success. In 2016, with the red flag of the complimentary event T-shirts waved before the participants like bulls entering the bullring, the bastards were saltier than ever. The negativity was almost palpable. I surveyed the room & spied many familiar faces—erstwhile fellows from the History Club, teammates from my nomad years, my old high school assistant swim coach, a Holy Redeemer parishioner—but precious few friendly faces. A harpy seated two teams down the long table from where my fellow Misty Beavers had encamped, whom I recognized from past H.Q.N.s though I'd never made her acquaintance, fairly seethed with hostility as she gave us the evil eye. Your humble narrator, even naïve, look around in bewilderment. I asked Stan the Man, a Misty Beavers hanger-on from 2015 whom this year had brought his own team, why everyone hated us so much. He replied matter-of-factly that we Misty Beavers are hated because we are like the New York Yankees. Now, to my mind those are fighting words & the rage must have been evident on my face because he quickly continued, explaining that he'd meant that we win a lot & we are thus resented for our winning ways. I heard the ring of truth peal. I surveyed the rogues gallery of false friends around us & saw the hate in their eyes.
I've always enjoyed History Quiz Night, win or lose (though it must be noted that my "worst" personal finish was in 2013, my first year as a Misty Beaver, when we finished in a tie for third, one point behind the tie for first; aside from that, my teams have always won or finished second). I, all of us, clap for everyone. Yes, we want to win, but always in a spirit of sportsmanship that makes competition worthwhile, not just a self-defeated scramble for fleeting glory. Somewhere along the line—without my even noticing (though here it must also be noted that I am rather oblivious to the emotions & feelings of those around me), but probably after out second consecutive victory—History Quiz Night had become personal. They hated us. They hated us simply because we competed the same as they did, only successfully. They hated us & would not stop hating us unless we laid down in surrender. I took a moment to roll this idea around the old brain pan, then shrugged my mental shoulders. Well, O.K., that's an easy choice. They hated us. So be it. Bring on the quiz.
Today's R.B.D.S.O.T.D. is from the perspective of the salty bastards. The Reel big Fish are themselves quite salty bastards. "We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful" is about No Doubt & other bands to come out of the Southern California music scene at the same time as R.B.F., but achieved greater fame & fortune. It is also sadly applicable to our erstwhile friends on other, lesser History Quiz Night teams.
"We hate it when our friends become successful,
We hate it when our friends become successful…
"We can destroy them!
You bet your life we will destroy them
And if we can hurt them, well, we may as well…
"You see, it should have been me!
It should have been me!
Everybody knows, everybody said so…"
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