The tsunami is just about the worst thing to ever happen, but in all honesty I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed A.D. 2004. It was a far from perfect year, but aren't they all? I've now experienced a quarter century of life, with very little to show for it except some fancy papers, the best friends in the world, and some incredibly memories. I can now add to their number last night's astoundingly fun show. Holy balls, there is no more fun a time to be had than a Real Can of Yams show. I am pissed at my "friends" who didn't show up, but I also pity them.

H-A-N
Have a knight.

Goodnight, we're through!

REAL CAN OF YAMS
*** LIVE ON STAGE! *** TONIGHT ONLY! ***
The Flint Local 432 in Exile (Metropolis), downtown Flinttown!

Be there or you suck.

The only important news story in the world right now is the tsunami. May the Lord Almighty have mercy on those poor people in South Asia, Southeast Asia, and Oceania.

Between the trip to Ohio (brief though it was), Steeze staying with us, and only three days (yesterday, today, and the show is tomorrow!) to prepare for the rock show, things have been pretty hectic around here. So if you've sent me an email and I haven't responded, please don't be pissed, I really do want to get back to you/see you. Honest.

At least last night I got to see Skeeter, Reed, and "associated fiance" Cristina. Good time had by all.

My Generation
I have no cousins on the Wilson side of my family. On the Little side, my mom, her sister, and their two brothers have an average of 2.5 children each. Half of us don't have the last name Little, but here is my generation of the Little family, recently gathered in Springboro, Ohio:

Lisa
Michael
David
Anna
Christopher
Matthew
Daniel
Jamie
Meghan
Joshua

Go Honolulu Blue!
Ha! No Lions/hairshirt-wearing for me! We can still finish 7-9, if we don't get cocky. Let's go, boys, I believe in you.

H-A-N
Have a night in a box.

"Man alive, there are men alive in here." This is a wild story. I mean, I had never even heard of the Martian Manhunter until I became a fanboy (started reading comic books)in 2000.

H-A-N
Wednesday's...
Have a preppy night.

Thursday's...
Have a nightlight.

Today's...
Have a night that, if one wanted to be precise, could only be described as verbose.

Bog below, there is so much snow on the ground outside. Not crazy, no-one-can-get-anywhere snow, but still lots and lots of the white. Woot! My only concern is whether The L.A.W. will be able to fly in to Metro tomorrow and whether Meine Vater will be able to pick her up there.

Hello, Kitty
Sam's just not eating, and that can't be good. He's always been reluctant to eat his medicinal food, but now he's barely touching it. More worrying, he's also barely eating any of his conventional Fancy Feast. Oh, Sammy, what's wrong?

"More organs means more human. It will work."

Go Honolulu Blue!
Man, I said some really unkind things about Muhlbach in the aftermath of yesterday's game. Dang. Oh well, there's always next year.... Of course I wore the shirt today. Hairshirt, anyone?

The Mountain is home. Blog posts will be sporatic.

The Newsletter Annual should go out in tomorrow's mail.

Vote For Kodos - Meet the Press
I was able to listen to all of President Bush's press conference this morning. Boy howdy, am I so grateful I was twice able to vote for that man.

H-A-N
Have a musical night.

Go Honolulu Blue!
At this point in time, Roy Williams is not half as good as he was at the beginning of the season and he was fallen far short of his hype. The Lions defense forced a two-yard loss on first down, got a sack on second down, and then on a third and twenty-four gave up an eighty-two yard touchdown pass. I'm not saying Steve Mariucci, Dick Jauron, and the entire coaching staff need to be fired, but it is time to start talking about firing them. It is time to start looking at what other coaches are available around the league, because Mariucci's staff has proven absolutely unable to stop the high number of dropped passes that are killing our offense. I want to have faith in Mooch, but his staff are not getting the job done, the players are getting worse as the season goes on, and if he is not willing to fire some of his assistants and hired qualified, competent people in their place, he will have to go. The Lions' offensive assistant coaches need to lose their jobs, the Lions need an offensive coordinator since Mariucci has proven he cannot run the team and the offense himself, and if these things don't happen, Steve Mariucci needs to lose his job.

The Lions will never win a Super Bowl in my lifetime preciselyb ecause Matt Millen still has his job. Millen hired Marty Mornhinweg, and wanted to keep him aroud for a third season after he went 5-27 over two years. Millen drafted Charles Rogers, who so far is the most fragile person to ever be a professional football player. Millen fired Johnny Morton and paid a king's ransom to get Bill Schroeder. Mariucci could turn out the be the greatest coach in NFL history, and Joey Harrington could turn into the best quarterback ever, but the Lions will never have a winnning record as long as Matt Millen is around.

Parker Posey Appreciation Day
Meine Vater and I saw Blade: Trinity last weekend. What's wrong with America is that Parker Posey isn't our biggest movie star. I don't care whether or not you like vampire movies, go see it for the glorious Ms. Posey.

Vote For Kodos - National Security
When Representatives Hunter (R, California) and Sensenbrenner (R, Wisconsin) held up the intelligence reform bill, President Bush's "failure to pass vital intelligence reform" lead the news. When the bill was passed a scant two weeks later, and when President Bush signs it, as he did today, it is the second or third item. Yep, no bias to be seen.

I just saw The Flight of the Phoenix, the 1965 film starring James Stewart. Holy cow. Absolutely amazing. I shall have to write a "Hollywoodland" about it, as soon as I get a good night's sleep.

Speaking of which, I'm not sure just how it happened, but this week has been a horror. Wednesday, Thursday (except when I watched The Flight of the Phoenix), and today, I feel as if I haven't spent a single moment at home. I'm so tired. But of course, I won't really be able to sleep tonight.

Sorry for whining.

One legitimate grievance: both my parents are sleeping downstairs. For fuck's sake, you assholes, you have a king-sized bed. Do you really have to monopolize the entire first floor?

American Empirical
Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, and The Royal Tenenbaums. Boy howdy, I can't wait for The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

H-A-N
Have a wise night.

Pug Uglies
I started taking care of Tyson and Patrick today, and they are much more aggresive than the last time I watched them. They snip at each other more, and gleefully gnaw on my fingers. Of course, they are almost completely harmless. I hope Sam doesn't get jealous; I know he smelled dog-monster on me yesterday, after I visited the pugs to get my instructions from The Guy's mom. I hope he doesn't hold it against me.

Banner work at The Palace yesterday, Pistons vs. Cavaliers tonight, banner work tomorrow to undo Wednesday's banner work. And the way Dorna works, it'll be a month before I see the money. Woot! Thank Bog this is just for extra scratch, not my real job.

H-A-N
Have a firebreathing night.

Vote For Kodos
I know most of you probably don't want to hear it, but now that it's over, I honestly miss the election. Rummy's comments and Bernie Kerik's denomination are all fine and good, but mostly those stories have been kept alive because the press are (a) bored becuase it's December and (b) still pouting about the election and thus the piling on. But I miss the wrangling, the arguing, the messy way American campaigns are waged. I am a political junkie and I miss my fix.

Go Honolulu Blue!
I don't mind losing to a superior team, I really don't. But to blow a thirteen point lead, and allow sixteen unanswer points... that's heartbreaking. Then again, that's my Lions. The gibberish about benching Harrington in favor of McMahon is foolishness of the highest order. Did you see Schlesinger's dropped pass? Streets's dropped pass? Dropped passes that hit receivers right in the hands? Right in the numbers? Joey Harrington is no Brett Favre, but he could really use some help from his fucking receiving corps.

It is now all but impossible for the Lions to finish the season 8-8, but 7-9 is still within realistic grasp. We have found ways to underachieve this year, not just to be overwhelmed my superior opposition, but to lose games we should have won. But something can still be salvaged. If this team has any heart, it must win two out of its last three games. Home against the Minnesota Vikings, home against the Chicago Bears, and away at the Tennessee Titans. Come on Lions.

Imperial Assault Carrier
Imperial Dreadnaught
Imperial Ship-of-the-Line
Imperial Corvette
Otrosi Man-of-War
Rynoran Heavy Cruiser
Caliphate Leviathan

H-A-N
H A _ _
A
_ W _ N G _ N G
N _ G H _.

"Just two more days 'til Christmas
And still haven't see a package,
One that stands about 5'5"
With little air holes in the sides.
I'd run downstairs and open it up
Before anyone was even up.
I would throw the wrapping to the side,
And you'd be standing there all smiles."
--Mu330, "Three Days 'Til Christmas" from Winter Wonderland

Blue Tree Whacking Films tactlessly presents
Smith and Winkler: The Final Hoe-Down

Blue Tree Whacking Films recklessly presents
The Fantabulous Misadventures of Skip Carmichael

Blue Tree Whacking Films merrily presents
Smith and Winkler Save Christmas

"swim team"
words by M. Wilson

(chorus)
swim team! swim team! U-S-A!
swim team! swim team! hey hey hey!
Hop in the pool, it's so much fun!
We've got flourescents, who needs the Sun?
Morning practice at five-fifteen,
All day long you smell like chlorine!

Freshman year your job's to do lane lines,
The Girls' Swim team is really fine,
Swimmer girls so hot you'll lose your mind,
But I digress, one thing at a time.
Breaststroke! Backstroke! Butterfly!
Freestyle sprints, it's time to fly!

(chorus)

Swim-Kick-Pull is in full effect,
Stroke drills make sure our stroke's correct.
Pearce on the deck in a Phish T-shirt,
Today's work out looks like it will hurt.
Breaststroke! Backstroke! Butterfly!
Freestyle sprints, too tired to fly!

(instrumental bridge)

The time clock chimes, you don't want to go,
Endless laps, round and round you go,
When it's done, you'll do it again,
Man, I hope Coach has a master plan.
Breaststroke! Backstroke! Butterfly!
Freestyle sprints, it's time to die!

(chorus)

But I've never been able to get Steeze to write music for my lyrics; so, this one will probably never be an RCY song.

Christmas Should Be Lasting All Year Long*
Thanks to the marvel of modern e-commerce, in just a few moments I was able to complete half my Christmas/birthday shopping (both my mom's and my sister's birthdays are in December). My thanks to a series of geeks who spent way too much time writing code and slaving to perfect many different software applications. Hurray for HAL science. "Science!"

*Borrowed from Murky Transport Disaster, "Christmas Should Be Lasting All Year Long" from The Murky Transport Disaster Disaster Transport Transport Disaster

Vote For Kodos - The Rain in Spain
The Spaniards are the absolute worst people in Europe, even worse than the Swiss, whose economy is based on gold stolen by the Nazis from their Jewish victims. Even worse than the Dutch, who burn mosques as a pasttime. Even worse than the French, who fought like hell to keep Algeria enslaved. I feel sympathy for the victims of 3/11, especially since their deaths were in vain once their country gave the jihadists exactly what they wanted. Hyperlink.

Never Girl and Never Boy have bought a house in Sacramento, which I have dubbed the Neverhaus. Buying a house together is a much bigger step than sharing an apartment. Thus, because they are now basically common-law married, their nicknames will henceforth be Mr. and Mrs. Never. I really like the term Neverhaus.

Hello, Kitty
I was at Sam's veterinarian's office today to pick up some medicinal food meant to help his ailing kidneys. I said "Hello" to Skeeter's mom in the lobby, but she didn't recognize me. Beginning Thursday, I will once again be taking care of Patrick and Tyson; so, look for the return of "Pug Uglies" posts. They are such horrible monsters!

H-A-N
Have a stargazing night.

Hello, Kitty
Sam must be feeling better because he's becoming more pushy and vocal (the biggest change) about his food. If his dish is empty for three seconds, he's in your face demanding attention and, more imortantly, food. He's a ravenous little bugger. Hurray! Appetite can only be a good thing.

"You're very small, ZIM. You're a tiny thing."

Series
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Die Hard
Die Hard 2: Die Harder
Die Hard With a Vengeance

Blade
Blade II
Blade: Trinity

Alien
Aliens
Alien 3
Alien Resurrection

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Austin Powers in Goldmember

Batman
Batman Returns
Batman Forever
Batman & Robin
Batman Begins

Murky Transport Disaster
Summer 2000 - world premiere of Smith and Winkler: The Final Hoe-Down

Real Can of Yams
Summer 2001 - world premiere of The Fantabulous Misadventures of Skip Carmichael
Christmas 2001 - w/Tommy's Frogs
Summer 2002
Christmas 2002 - w/Tommy's Frogs
Christmas 2004 - w/Tommy's Frogs

*** REAL CAN OF YAMS *** Live on Stage! *** Thursday, December 30 *** The Flint Local 432 in Exile, downtown Flinttown ***

It snowed again last night! The light powder of Saturday has been augmented with a heavy, wet overnight snow. Woot! Please please please please please let us have a white Christmas.

Who would win in a fight, Moses or the Buddha?

Exactly fourteen days 'til Christmas and the yard is covered by our fourth snow of the winter! This is awesome. No list from The L.A.W. yet, though; I hope she likes clearance priced Van Helsing toys. ^_^

Lies, More Lies, and Damned Lies
I tried to listen to The Diane Rehm Show on Wednesday because the topic was Tuesday's terrorist attack on the U.S. consulate in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. But I had to turn it off after about five minutes, because both Mrs. Rehm and her guests kept calling the terrorists "insurrgents," not terrorists. I can understand the preference for the term insurrgents in the context of Iraq. Zarqawi and Ansar al-Islam are terrorists, but to describe the entire Iraqi resistance as terrorism would be to cheapen the meaning of the word. But to call a brazen attack on one of our consulates an act of "insurrgency" is simply absurd and intellectually dishonest. I guess then that Carlos the Jackal was not a terrorist, but an insurrgent. ETA and the IRA aren't terrorist groups, they are insurrgent coalitions. Osama bin Laden doesn't practice terrorism, he just fosters insurrgencies.

Malaise Forever
Of course this would also be a good time to remind everyone that President Jimmy has said that Zarqawi, famous for beheading Western contractors, is the moral equivalent of Samuel Adams, Thomas Jefferson, or Patrick Henry. Then again, Jimmy also thought the Ayatollah Khomeini was a man we could do business with; so, it's clear he has difficulty distinguishing his arse from a hole in the ground.

I have to agree with Homer Simpson, "We elected the wrong Carter."

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
One nice thing about the end of the college football season, I can once again listen to This American Life on Saturday afternoons.

H-A-N
Have an itchy night.

I was at Meijer this afternoon and saw a display for canine dental health products. In bold letters were the words "Helps fight plaque." For just a moment, I imagined it read "Helps fight plague." Hee hee. Plague.

"Oh, that? That's the plague plaque, in rememberance of the Prague Plague."

Star Trek, 1966-69
Star Trek: The Next Generation, 1987-94
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 1993-99
Star Trek: Voyager, 1995-2001
Star Trek: Enterprise, 2001-(2008)

Law & Order
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Law & Order: Trial by Jury

You know, despite his annoying and infantile teasing about the red background of my comments, I really owe Daddy Dylweed for getting me addicted to Netflix. And yes, the proper word is addicted. If I wasn't addicted, I'd have cancelled it at the end of the free month. Here's your chance, readers, to have your opinions not summarily dismissed: I would appreciate recommendations. What movies should I rent? Feel free to leave multiple suggestions.

H-A-N
Have a branded night.

Ego Trek
George Takei can go to hell. Hyperlink. Enterprise isn't Roddenberry's vision because it is set earlier in time than the original Star Trek and yet he wants to make Excelsior movies? Hey, asshole, a Star Trek: Excelsior series would be set earlier in time than The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and the TNG movies. Fucking hypocrite.

Happy Birthday
Happy birthday to The L.A.W.! Of course, it would be nice if she actually produced a list of what she'd like for her birthday and Christmas... but at least she sez she's working on it. Happy birthday, sis. Love ya.

One of my favorite jokes from Futurama is Dr. Zoidberg's pronunciation of robot as "robit." Today, I saw an old video clip of Isaac Asimov, creator of the 3 Laws of Robotics, pronouncing robot as "robit." Hurray! Yet another sci fi joke buried deep within Futurama!

I also love that the alien Zoidberg's first name is John. And his uncle is Harold Zoid. "From the desk of Dr. John Zoidberg." Hee hee.

Let us hope that Sharon and Peres can work something out; a Likud-Labour unity government would put Israel in the strongest possible position when the time comes to open nogotiations with the new Palestinian "government" (to be elected in January). Hyperlink.

H-A-N
Have a campout night.

Flags of Many Nations
I display in my room the flags of five nations, four of them sovereign, four of them not my own.

United States of America - I will not ever pretend to be objective: the United States is the greatest country not just in the world, but in all of human history. I actually have three American flags in my room. Woot!

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland - Rule Brittania. The British invented modern democracy and our basic conceptions of human rights. Plus, for an entire calender year, Britain stood alone against the wrath and fury of the Nazi war machine and did not flinch. Winston Churchill was the man he was because he was half-Yank and half-Brit.

State of Israel - Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East. And having survived three wars of annihilation ('48, '67, '73), they are tough bastards. If I couldn't live in America, I'd probably move to Israel. Yes, almost the entire tiny country is a barren desert, but it's a dry heat. Plus, tour all your favorite Biblical and Crusader era archeological sites.

Republic of China (Taiwan) - The best thing I can say about Chiang Kai-shek is that he wasn't Mao Zedong. Nevertheless, the Taiwanese never met a Communist they didn't want to kill and today they are a shining example of everything China could be as soon as the Chinese Communist Party is removed from power.

Republic of Ireland - I am one quarter Irish; blood is the only reason I fly this flag. I hate Ireland. The Irish didn't stand up to the Nazis, they didn't stand up to the Soviets, and for eighty years much of the population has supported the terrorism of the Irish Republican Army. The IRA isn't al Qaeda, but they are still murderers of innocents. Were it within my power, I'd reduce Ireland to ashes.

I need a South Korean flag and a Japanese flag. Asia, woot!

H-A-N
Have a night of the living dead.

Pearl Harbor Day
Sixty-three years ago, to paraphrase President Roosevelt, air and sea forces of the Empire of Japan launched an unprovoked attack on the United States of America, forever changing America's role in the world. Before the Second World War was over, Japan, Germany, and most of Europe would lie in ashes; the atomic genie would be loosed on an unsuspecting world; and America's stubborn streak of isolationism would finally take a backseat to our interventionalist revolutionary zeal. History teaches only hard lessons: without the villainy of the day of infamy, the United States would not have been in a position to resist the winner of the Nazism-Communism death struggle, and the Cold War, whomever the opponent, would not have ended well for democracy and freedom.

But for today, let us just remember those 2,900 souls who were killed on a beautiful Sunday morning in Hawai'i. You will never be forgotten.

Vote For Kodos - Apocalyp$e Now
Did you know that the US federal budget deficit is now so large that within 3-5 years it will exert a destablizing gravitational force on the Sun and trigger a premature supernova? Wow! We've had budget deficits before, we'll have budget deficits again, and the sky is not in fact falling.

"No, those piggies are for science. Science!"

Last night, I had IM conversations with Skeeter, Friendster Girl, Kiel (pronounced "Kyle" for all you Newsletter readers), and Captain Malice. I remember conventional human interaction... but only vaguely. It's like a dream you remember having, you just don't know what it was about.

Note to self: you might actually want to buy some Christmas presents before it's, you know, Christmas.

Books I've Read...
{A Selection of Contemporary Authors}

...by Tobias Wolff
In the Garden of the North American Martyrs
Back in the World
This Boy's Life
In Pharoah's Army
The Night in Question
Old School

I have not yet read the novella The Barracks Thief

...by Chuck Palahniuk
Fight Club
Survivor
Invisible Monsters
Choke
Lullaby
Diary

...by Nick Hornby
Fever Pitch
High Fidelity
About a Boy
How to be Good

...by Lucinda Rosenfeld
What She Saw...
Why She Went Home

...by Steve Martin
Pure Drivel
Shopgirl

And yes, I'll put my own eyes out before I read The Da Vinci Code.

Victory for ZIM!

I have things to say, but by this point I'm so frustrated with Blogger that I don't even fucking care.

This is a post from Sunday afternoon, but due to technical difficulties at Blogger (insert five hundred twelve repetitions of "Fuck Blogger!" here), this is the first time I've been able to actually access the blasted site. Motherfuckers.

Go Honolulu Blue!
I told you the Lions would be able to best John Navarre. Every single time Drew Henson takes a snap, I earnestly hope he suffers a career-ending injury; I bear no similar ill-will toward John Navarre, I just think he's a no-talent hack. Mooch will have to make some pretty serious revivions to the entire defense and the offensive line during the off season. Two interceptions or no, if there is any possible way the team can renegotiate Dre Bly's contract they should, because right now he is not playing like he's worth $25 million over five years (we're in the second year of that contract). I think the final verdict on Joey Harrington is that he's never going to be a great quarterback, but we could easily do worse. The front office should continue to look for a gem of a quarterback in the draft, but not waste any high picks on one, as Joey will be a fine foundation on which to build the team for several years. This year will still go on the books (my book) as disappointing, as it is all but impossible for the Lions to finish 8-8. But, we can still finish a "respectable" 7-9 if the team pulls together and each player does his job.

Poor Dennis Green. I hope he likes challenges, because he's got to build his team in Arizona without a single decent QB.

H-A-N
And now for something completely different.

The League of Nations
Senator Norm Coleman (R, Minnesota) has called for the resignation of United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan, primarily over the massive corruption in the former Oil-for-Food regime. Hyperlink. Secretary of State Colin Powell has said that calls for Annan's removal are premature. I'm sorry, Mr. Secretary, but in this matter you are morally in the wrong. Mr. Annan was the UN official in charge of peacekeeping when UN peacekeepers stood by and watched the Rwandan genocide of 1994, as Secretary-General he did everything he could to keep Saddam Hussein in power, and he has stood by mostly silently as the Arab janjaweed have slaughtered 70,000 black Africans in the Darfur region of Sudan.

By and by, PEOPLE ARE STILLING DYING IN DARFUR and Sudan still sits on the UN Human Rights Commission. There are African Union "monitors" in Darfur, mostly Nigerian and Rwandan troops. Where the monitors are operating, the janjaweed have been curtailed, but there aren't enough AU troops to secure the whole region. A new UN resolution is needed before more African Union troops can be sent in. Once again, the United Nations is turing a blind eye to genocide. I'm sure that's the high ideal President Roosevelt when in mind when he spearheaded the UN's formation.

When Yasser Arafat died in November, the UN flag outside the Secretariat in New York flew at halfstaff, a universal sign of respect and mourning. When President Reagan died in July, the flag flew bright and high at fullstaff. The inescapable conlucion is that the UN held Arafat in far higher esteem than Reagan. During the current intifada, the Palestinian mayor of Bethlehem proposed a truce and an end to Palestinian terrorism. Arafat replied, "Whoever thinks of stopping the intifada before it acheives its goal, I will give him 10 bullets in the chest." The United Nations mourned this man more than the man who said, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" Nice.

I am asking honestly, can any of you defend the UN's actions here? Please, is my critique out of line?

In the troubled country of Bosnia and Herzegovina, authority over peacekeeping operations (now in their ninth year and counting) has passed from NATO to the European Union. That's fitting and appropriate, as European troops always comprised the majority of the NATO forces in Bosnia. The EU will do a fine job of administering the peace in Bosnia and Herzegovina, I just thought this might be a fine opportunity to point out the following:
(a) When President Clinton lead NATO into Bosnia in 1995 to stop the ethnic cleansing, he did so without UN approval.
(b) When Yugoslavia first began to disintegrate and the Croatians and Serbians went to war, the Europeans asked the United States to stand back and allow them to defuse the crisis. In the famous words of the foreign minister of Luxembourg, "The hour of Europe has arrived."

Hello, Kitty
I love my cat. But sometimes, I don't know what to do with him. With elderly, semile humans, you can put diapers on them. Sam's gotten so that though he still goes in his box, about half the time he forgets to bury his poop. Oh, Sammy. So I go in there with a little shovel and just throw a little litter on top.

The Pic
the Empire of Pictus
the Commonwealth of Phythria
the Shogunate of Enkariworld
the Aepyrian Kingdom
the Hsi Church
the Republic of Jurai
the Realm of the Erixish
the Rynlander Presidium
-----
the Tehl Larian Protectorate
the Communion of Light Protectorate

Allies
the Otrosi League
the Sovereignty of Suraka
the Aeloosian Federation

Neutrals
the Rynoran Republic
the Sur'ka Directorate

Enemies
the Xiro Hegemony
the Union of the Chosen (Hagara)

An experiment:
A Newsletter Hope
The Newsletter Strikes Back
Return of the Newsletter
The Phantom Newsletter
Attack of the Newsletter
Revenge of the Newsletter

Tonight's episode of Star Trek: Enterprise, "Kir'Shara," was wow fucking amazing. Who knew Vulcans could be so damned engrossing?

"The Forge"
"Awakening"
"Kir'Shara"

All you other other motherfuckers, you only wish you could be me. Why? I have just listened to "The Cowboy, the Indian, and the Cyborg" by Real Can of Yams, performed two years ago at the annual New Year's Eve eve show and feared lost. And it very well might have been lost if not for the always reliant Mr. Doerr and his obsessive recording of every GB show ever. And speak of the devil...

*** REAL CAN OF YAMS *** LIVE ON STAGE! *** DECEMBER 30, 2004 *** THE LOCAL IN EXILE, DOWNTOWN FLINTTOWN ***
Opening for the Grand Blanc superband Tommy's Frogs!

Go Honolulu Blue!
I'm not trying to tempt fate, but I am supremely confident the Lions will win on Sunday. Why, you ask? Because the Arizona Cardinals' starting quarterback will be none other than Michigan alumnus John Navarre! Even as a seventh round pick, it was foolish foolish foolish of the Cardinals to draft Navarre. He will never be an NFL-caliber quarterback; for Bog's sake, he was barely sufficient as a college quarterback. I like Dennis Green and I respect his coaching ability, but John Navarre is quite simply no good.

Vote For Kodos - Cabinetry
With Secretary Tommy Thompson's expected resignation now a reality, let me say that soon-to-be-former Senator John Breaux (D, Louisiana) would make a fine Secretary of Health and Human Services. He's an old school conservative Democrat, almost as endangered a species as me and my fellow liberal Republicans, and a long-time advocate of Social Security reform.

Don't have kittens, my lefty friends, but thank Bog Rummy - Secretary Donald Rumsfeld - is staying. Even before 9/11 he was the major force for force transformation, vital to building the military we need to fight "the savage wars of peace" of the 21st century. No undue offense to the Joint Chiefs, but they're still stuck in the Cold War. Hurray for Rummy!

H-A-N
Have a pointillistic night.

Your Own Worst Enemy
Smith and Winkler*
Smith and Winkler v. The Gripping Hand

The Space Pirates Project*
Jason Seaholm v. Silvio "Ghost" de Castille

The Cloak's World
The Cloak v. Chaos Girl

Wilson Superhero Universe
The Psychotic Mouseketeer v. George McGovern

A World On Fire
"Jack" Kamiyama v. Jiang Xu

The Empire of Pictus
Pur Pethlo Mentar... doesn't really have an archnemesis

Star Trek: Odyssey**
Captain Elisabeth McKenna v. "Captain" Hunter Cole

*Blue Tree Whacking group project
**a revision of Star Trek: Voyager

Vote For Kodos - A Fickle Town
My favorite thing about politics (and I'm sure this is universal of politics everywhere, though my knowledge of America is greater than of any other land) is how quickly we all were always against what previously we were for. During the Clinton Administration, the Republican majority in Congress bemoaned uncontrolled government spending and enforced relative austerity, yet under President Bush pork barrel politics have returned with a vengeance. Following 9/11 and especially the release of the 9/11 Commission's Final Report, congressional Democrats called for sweeping reform of the intelligence community, including calling for heads to roll at the CIA, but now that Director Goss is cleaning house in Langley, they are crying foul. As often happens, I am reminded of Futurama, "It's time someone had the courage to say, I'm against those things everybody hates."

Recently, someone whom I had assumed was my friend accused me of being a racist. Partially as a result of this ugly encounter, but also as part of a long-term dissatisfaction, I am giving serious consideration to removing the commenting feature. This isn't an ultimatium or anything, I'm just giving you guys a heads up in case the comments disappear.

Hyperlink. The Flying Dutchman is right, the Dutch really are evil.

The Face of America
Also, if Alberto Gonzales is confirmed as Attorney General, he will be the closest a Latino of either sex has even been to being President. Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao is the first Asian-American woman in the Cabinet.

Assuming that Chief Justice William Rehnquist dies or resigns from the Supreme Court in the next four years (which seems to be the common wisdom), I think it would be a mistake to appoint Justice Sandra Day O'Conner to take his place. Whatever the value to the president's legacy of appointing the first female Chief Justice, O'Conner is not much younger than Rehnquist. There is a good chance that were a Democrat to win the Oval Office in '08, that individual might have a chance to appoint O'Conner's replacement. Better to appoint either a brand new Chief Justice, someone relatively young, or promote Justice Clarence Thomas to the chief justiceship (I know, I know, but imagine how good he looks to the base) and a Latino/a to the open seat.

As far as the Justices are concerned, I'm a big Souter fan myself.

Lastly, with Mel Martinez's (R, Florida) and Ken Salazar's (D, Colorado) election to the Senate and Gonzales's nomination to head the Justice Department, the government is starting to look just a little bit more like the population.

H-A-N
Have a lawless night.

I'm about two-thirds of the way through Alan Dershowitz's The Case For Israel. Dershowitz may never have met a murderer he didn't like, but it's a damned well researched and supported book. Ait tight, one might say.

The Face of America
We all know that Democrats are the most enlightened people on Earth, and that if you live in a Red State you must be a slobbering piece of racist filth. The Republicans Party, after all, actually supports the resegregation of America's schools, but only because it might be quite difficult to reintroduce full slavery. Or so you would believe if you listened to Julian Bond, chairman of the board of the "non-partisan" NAACP.

The order of succession to the presidency of the United States is as follows:
1. President of the United States
2. Vice President of the United States
3. Speaker of the House of Representatives
4. President Pro Tempore of the Senate
5. Secretary of State
6. Secretary of the Treasury
7. Secretary of Defense
8. Attorney General
9. Secretary of Homeland Security
10. Secretary of the Interior

Regardless of what this may say about our history, every President, Vice President, Speaker, and President Pro Tem has been a white male. Madeleine Albright was the first female Secretary of State; however, she is a naturalized, not native born, American citizen. Therefore, Attorney General Janet Reno is the closest a woman has been to being President of the United States. (Reagan-Bush '84 killed Mondale-Ferrero.) Secretary of State Colin Powell, in addition to his lifetime of service to this great nation, was the first black Secretary of State, and the closest a black male has ever been to being President. If Dr. Condoleezza Rice is confirmed by the Senate, she will be the first black female Secretary of State and, by virtue of being born an American, the closest a woman has ever been to being President.

Now, are those token appointments, or is it possible, just possible, that the Republican Party is not the racist monolith those on the left assume it to be?

I know, I know, I'm generalizing. Sorry.