My His Time Among the Vampires
I have done so in person already, but now I would like to do so publicly so as to potentially pressure some of you into emulating his actions: my congratulations to The Guy for demonstrating that he is an outstanding human being by donating blood to the American Red Cross. The Guy, you see, was for years terrified by the prospect of having a needle shoved into his arm, a needle that would then suck out his blood, the very juice of life. He wished to aid his fellow man, but was daunted by the needle. No more. Last week, The Guy cowboyed up and gave blood, possibly saving several lives as a result. Awesome.

Go be more like The Guy. Give blood.

Honolulu Blue Forever
I know very little about the new head coach of the Detroit Lions, Rod Marinelli, but I do know one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt: he is not the right man for the job. How can I say this if I barely know anything about him? Marinelli was hired by Matt Millen, ergo his tenure will be disastrous. I feel sorry for Mr. Marinelli and his family, but not as sorry as I feel for my fellow Lions fans who wish so desperately for a return to the glorious mediocrity of the Wayne Fontes years.

Simply put, Rod Marinelli is Matt Millen's man and Millen's five-year, 21-59 record proves his incompetence to run an NFL franchise. As long as the Fords own the team, but especially as long as Millen is drawing a salary, we are completely, utterly, and hopelessly doomed.

I hope there is a "Fire Millen" rally outside Ford Field on Super Bowl Sunday.

Hitler's Victory
Hyperlink. Of course the Europeans are going to keep funding the "Palestinian Authority" now that Hamas holds a majority of the parliamentary seats. Hamas is dedicated to killing Jews and the Europeans, well, they just aren't that fond of Jews themselves. Sometimes I wish the United States hadn't stood up to Stalin by conducting the Berlin Airlift. We should have let the Red Army march all the way across Europe to the English Channel. We shoudl never have implemented the Marshall Plan, we should have left those pompous motherfuckers to starve to death.

Germany, France, and Great Britain are going to give monetary support to an organization dedicated to wiping Israel off the face of the earth. The Fuhrer must be so pleased.

I have not condemned the Palestinians themselves because, well, why wouldn't they vote for a terrorist organization like Hamas? Despite his Nobel Peace Prize, Yassir Arafat was a terrorist. Mahmoud Abbas is a terrorist. The Palestinians are the most contemptable people on Earth. They are a nation of terrorists. You can't blame a lion for eating a gazelle; so, you can't blame a nation of terrorists for electing terrorist leaders. The one upside of Hamas's victory in the PA parliamentary elections is that it may finally instigate a Palestinian civil war between Fatah and Hamas. And if they start killing each other they will probably be too busy to kill Israelis, and the last terrorist group left standing will be no match for the IDF. And that, my friends, is how you find the silver lining around even the darkest cloud.