Mayday! Mayday!
Happy May Day, you commie bastards! For those of you who celebrated May Day as the traditional rite of spring, I wish you loveliness and joy. For those of you who celebrated May Day as the festival of international socialist and labor solidarity, I wish you failure and misery. Death to the "dictatorship of the proletariate"! Long live the free market! Long live capitalism!

No Oracle at Delphi
My father, the Goldbricker, work for Delphi Corporation, the bankrupt auto parts supplier that, as AC, used to be a division of General Motors. As Delphi reduces its workforce through attrition and early retirement/buyout packages, there is a potential need for temporary workers to help the company transition to its leaner future self. As a Delphi employee, the Goldbricker has the opportunity to recommend two individuals to fill those temporary positions. Among the employments requirements is a drug test. As I am applying to be amongthe temporary workers, the Goldbricker asked me if I'd pass the drug test. Seriously. He wasn't kidding.

Once I recovered from the shock of even being asked, I was filled with a warm and fuzzy sensation. In a way, it's kind of nice to know that the Goldbricker knows so very little about me. To even ask if I'm a pothead/crackhead/meth freak/drug fiend-of-any-stripe, my father must not know me at all. Given the racist, sexist monster he has devolved into these past few years, I'm quite pleased to be such a mystery to him. Three cheers for family.