Narwhal Day Looms
Ten days, less than fortnight, until Narwhal Day. Heed the admonishment on the back cover of The Fury of The Aquabats!, "Just prepare yourselves for the fury!"

Believe: Pennsylvanian Civil War
Penguins 4-1 Flyers. Best of seven: Pittsburgh 3-0 Philadelphia.

I am interested in this series for three reasons. Ein) Though the N.H.L. playoffs seems interminable and I have myself made any number of jokes about their two-month duration, soon, very soon, the hockey season will be over, leaving the summer a barren wasteland devoid of sport. I am thus feasting before the inevitable famine. (And thus the deluge of hockey posts.)

Zwei) The Red Wings shall prevail over the hapless (should be North) Stars, meaning the Pittsburgh-Philly winner will be all that stands between us and the Stanley Cup. Utterly regardless of my complete lack of any role in preparing the Wings for the challenge ahead, I feel that sympathetic impulse common to most sports fans: I wish to scout the opposition. I've watched very little Prince of Wales Conference hockey this year and I am using this series to play catch up. Sid the Kid has no idea what awaits him.

Drei) During the festivities of Matrimania - D.C., my darling sister's wedding, I met a chap named Ravi we shall call Jersey, the fiancé of The L.A.W.'s maid of honor, Melissa. for whom I have not yet devised a codename. As his handle indicates, Jersey Ravi is a son of New Jersey, from the suburbs of Philadelphia, and a huge fan of the Flyers. I enjoyed his company all three times I met him - at the rehearsal dinner, the wedding reception, and the day-after cookout - so, though I am no fan of the Flyers, I am interested in their fate for his sake. This series must be killing him, the poor devil. (Ed. note: There are too many people I met during Matrimania - D.C. to whom I may never again refer once I have regaled you with the tale of the weekend to make codenames practicable. So, with care not to reveal surnames, I shall simply use given names for those without ongoing roles in the adventure that is my life and times.)

Vote For Kodos: Donkey Punch
Staying in the race is just about the first thing Senator Clinton has ever done that I wholeheartedly support. Never say die!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Letters to Cleo, "Demon Rock" from Wholesale Meats and Fish (T.L.A.M.)