Dedicated, with love, to Mrs. Skeeter, Esq. & The Watergirl.

This Week in Motorsport
Four grands prix in to the nineteen-round 2010 F.I.A. Formula One World Championship, I can say this about F1: woo hoo! Unlike '09, when the upstart Brawn G.P. (more about them later) stormed to six victories in the first seven grands prix, '10 has seen three different winners from three different constructors (also representing three different engine manufacturers) in the first four "fly away" grands prix of the year: Bahrain, Australia, Malaysia, and China. Ferrari drove to a one-two finish at Bahrain, the victory belonging to '05 & '06 World Champion Fernando Alonso; Red Bull claimed a one-two at Malaysia, '09 runner-up & '10 man-to-beat Sebastian Vettel (more about him later, too) claiming the top of the podium; and '09 World Champion Jenson Button, now driving for McLaren, used brilliant strategy to claim dual victories, at Australia & China. Of the twenty-four drivers on the 2010 grid, six remain within a single victory of points leader Button. Who will win the World Drivers' Championship and World Constructors' Championship remains very much up in the air.

Last season, Brawn G.P. came out of nowhere to dominate Formula One. Button won six out of the first seven grands prix and Rubens Barrichello won two grands prix, Brawn thus winning eight of the seventeen rounds of the '09 campaign; Brawn won the World Constructors' Championship and Button the World Drivers' Championship, with Barrichello finishing third. But Button's championship left a sour taste in the mouths of many, because he didn't win a single grand prix in the last ten rounds of the season, though his performance this year is going some way to proving that he might have had more going for him than just the dominate car of the first half of last season. This year, as mentioned above, Button drives for McLaren (teammates with '08 World Champion Lewis Hamilton) and Barrichello for Williams (using Cosworth engines now that Toyota has withdrawn from F1). What of Brawn G.P.? There is no more Brawn G.P. Very much rather than coming out of nowhere, Brawn was what remained of the prospective '09 Honda team after Honda withdrew from F1 in late '08; Honda sold the team to "team principal" Russ Brawn for a nominal fee ($1 or £1, something purely symbolic like that), and continued to pay almost all the team's expenses throughout '09. (Why Honda would bear this great cost and yet not insist their name to be used, thus accruing no discernible benefit, remains a mystery.) The now-Brawn team used the same Mercedes-Benz engines that had been used to such success by F1 stalwart McLaren and the rising newcomer Force India, and drove on to the great success chronicled above.

At the end of the '09 World Championships, those Kraut bastards at Mercedes-Benz, a division of Daimler A.G., scooped up Brawn, renaming it Mercedes G.P. and thinking they'd bought themselves a future World Championship on the cheap. I am not a bigot, I am not prejudiced against Germans or Germany (nor Austria, for that matter). I am quite fond of Jackie Stewart's "Green Hell," the Nürburgring. I do, however, bear a great deal of antipathy toward Daimler A.G., formerly DaimlerChrysler A.G., formerly Daimler-Benz A.G. The Chrysler Corporation was always a bit schizophrenic, but it was a firm on the upswing before Daimler-Benz bought it up and proceeded to gut Chrysler of everything that had ever given the company any value. (If you think the formation of DaimlerChrysler was a merger, I've got several lovely bridges I'd like to sell you.) Even though I'm a General Motors man, I will never forgive Daimler for what they did to Chrysler; that is why I cannot root for any team that uses Mercedes engines (not even Red Bull, if there is any truth to the rumors of their switch away from Renault power after this season), that is why I refer, without apology, to everyone and everything connected to Daimler A.G., Mercedes-Benz, and Mercedes G.P. as "those Kraut bastards." Both of Mercedes's drivers are German, Nico Rosberg and seven-time World Champion Michael Schumacher, returned to the grid after three years of restless retirement, as is reserve driver Nick Heidfeld. No man has ever won more grands prix nor more World Championships than Schumacher, who reigned over the sport as a colossus throughout the late '90s and the '00s; to put his achievements into a context with emotional resonance for F1-allergic Americans, Michael Schumacher is genuinely comparable to Michael Jordan. Thus far in '10, Schumacher has been badly outclassed by the much younger Rosberg, who is second in points amongst drivers despite having finished no higher than third in any race (but, also, it must be noted, having finished no lower than fifth; there is much to be said for consistency). But all that about Mercedes's drivers is really neither here for there. It will be a cold day in Hell before I ever root for those Kraut bastards.

A German for whom I do root is Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel. Before the Chinese Grand Prix, Vettel had lead something outrageous like 110 out of a possible 153 laps. He started from the pole position at Bahrain and convincingly lead the race until hobbled by engine trouble; he limped his car to a fourth place finish, impressive given the crippled nature of his engine. He started from the pole position at Australia and convincingly lead the race until a mechanical failure in his RB6 lead to a shunt and a retirement. The star-crossed Vettel started from the third position on the grid in Malaysia, but was fearless and aggressive in the on again/off again rain, surging to the front and building an ever increasingly lead over his Red Bull teammate Mark Webber (who started from the pole) on the way to the young German's first grand prix victory of 2010. Vettel was far and away the fastest man at the Bahrain International Circuit; Melbourne, Australia's Albert Park street circuit; and the Sepang International Circuit outside Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. But, wait, that's only one… two… three circuits, only three rounds of the 2010 World Championships. What of the fourth? At the Shanghai International Circuit, Red Bull looked invincible in qualifying, Vettel and Webber starting from the first (pole) and second positions. But Vettel started the race like he was an tranquilizers, and then a miscalculation in tire strategy doomed any chance of a comeback: too many pit stops as Red Bull changed back and forth between "intermediate" rain tires & dry weather "slicks"… and back again. In the end, Vettel finished sixth and Webber eighth, both points-paying finishes, but well short of the dominant pace promised at Bahrain & Australia, realized at Malaysia, and evidenced in qualifying at China.

In 2010, the twelve-team Formula One grid is neatly divided into rather precise thirds. The top tier teams, those considered in contention for the Constructor's Championship, are Ferrari and McLaren (Mercedes engines), the most storied names in F1; Red Bull (Renault), who declared before the season that nothing short of a championship would be sufficient; and those Kraut bastards from Mercedes. Ferrari finished one-two in the Bahrain Grand Prix (again, helped by Vettel's misfiring engine), Red Bull finished one-two in the Malaysian Grand Prix, and McLaren finished one-two in the Chinese Grand Prix. To my delight, rather than marching cheerfully and breezily to a repeat of Brawn's World Championships, Mercedes are the weakest of the elite teams.

The middle-of-the-pack teams are the Renault factory team; Force India (Mercedes); Toro Rosso (Ferrari), the Red Bull "B' team (Toro Rosso is Italian for Red Bull); and Williams (Cosworth). The difference between Renault's performance in '09 & '10 is the difference between night & day. As they were last year, both Force India cars are rockets in straight-line speed, but aren't quite up to snuff in the corners. Accordingly, they should do dreadfully on the tight, slow streets of Monaco, but might do well on the long straights of the Belgian & Italian Grands Prix. The Toro Rosso drivers are both fearless passers, bordering on being reckless, but so far their dashing audacity has paid more dividends than the more cautious approach of Williams's veteran Barrichello, with more grands prix under his belt than another other man in F1 history, including his former Ferrari teammate Schumacher (at 41, three years Barrichello's senior), and rookie Nico Hulkenberg.

The informal lowest division is inhabited by the three brand-new teams, Lotus (!), Virgin, and Hispania (originally to be known as Campos Meta), and the troubled, non-B.M.W.-powered B.M.W. Sauber. B.M.W. announced its decision to quit F1 at the end of last season and for many months the future of the long-established Sauber organization, which was 80% B.M.W.-owned, was in doubt, until at last B.M.W. sold the team back to original owner Peter Sauber. The team now use Ferrari engines, alongside the Ferrari factory team and Toro Rosso, but still bear the name B.M.W. Sauber. I can only assume this is due to some paperwork-borne technicality in dealing with F1's sanctioning body, the F.I.A. The B.M.W.-less Sauber's poor showing is a surprise, the new teams were expected to struggle. (The once and future?) Team U.S. failed even to make the grid; so, that the others have managed to be on-track for all four grands prix is an achievement. Of the three new entrants, Lotus have set the pace, with Heikki Kovalainen's Lotus finishing ahead of Hulkenberg's Williams in the Chinese Grand Prix.

I did not watch a Formula One race until the 2009 Grand Prix de Monaco; so, we are still in that part of the World Championship where I am witnessing my first contest on each circuit. Only one "virgin" race remains before my second Monaco, the first of two held in perfidious Spain, the Gran Premio de Espana, though later in the year I will see my first Grand Prix du Canada (which was not held in '09) and the inaugural Korean Grand Prix. Also, the Grosser Preis von Deutschland will be held at a different circuit than last year. I am so excited to look again at these circuits now that I know so much more about both the history and the technology of Formula One.

Thus far, I have watched each of the first four grands prix on videotape, in part because I have been traveling, but mostly because they have been held in Bahrain, Melbourne, Kuala Lumpur, and Shanghai, places on literally the other side of the globe from sacred Michigan. There are only two grands prix in the Western Hemisphere, Canada in June and Brazil in November; so, even most of the European rounds of the World Championship will be seen on mine own tape delay, as I am chronically loath to waking up early. (And exception to this tendency will of course be made for the non-F1 24 Heures du Mans, of which I intend to see as much as is broadcast on television, sleep be damned.) I am determined to see every round of the 2010 World Championship, to immerse myself fully in the sheer excitement of Formula One.

I hope, also, to be able to influence one or two of you to give F1 a chance. You might discover something you love, as I did last summer when I first saw the race through the streets of Monte Carlo. It isn't for everyone. Bog knows that at many other stages of my life I would have rejected Formula One out of hand, and did reject out of hand other forms of motorsport, but last summer I didn't force myself to watch F1, I just opened myself up to the possibility. (Note that I still reject the boredom of IndyCar racing on staggeringly dull oval circuits. The Indianapolis 500? A great way to cure insomnia.) All I ask is that you open yourself up to the possibility of Formula One.

Formula One? Formula fun!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
James Keane, "Maud Miller/The Sailor's Return/Paddy Murphy's Wife" from Green Linnet Records: The Twentieth Anniversary Collection (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Not the inspiration for today's R.B.D.S.O.T.D., but something of which I was reminded by it: my late Great Granny Gray, my father's mother's mother, the only one of my great-grandparents I ever met (though, as I was a wee lad at the time of our single meeting, I squandered the opportunity), was named Maude.