The Explorers Club
No. CXCVII - The Piltdown Man hoax.









The Stars My Destination
Richard Branson, you magnificent bastard! Behold, space cadets, the flight of the Enterprise: Galacticlink!

Incentivizing note-to-self regarding the CADMUS connection: Projects EPIMETHEUS & RADIANT so that you might afford the cost of a ticket, Operation ÖSTERREICH so that you won't be deemed too heavy & too unhealthy to ride, once you purchase a ticket.

This Week in Motorsport
The Japanese Grand Prix was thrilling! I am very glad I forced myself to go to bed last night after qualifying instead of staying up to watch the race. Not only was it nice to get some sleep, but I've found that recorded races make better viewing than live races; the ability to rewind is particularly nice, as is the ability to control the pace of your own "pit stops" for snacks & the W.C., rather than having to rush during the commercial breaks for fear of missing a moment of the action.

My teams all did well. Red Bull (Renault) scored a thrilling one-two finish, Sebastian Vettel ahead of Mark Webber, extending Webber's lead atop the drivers' standings & bringing Vettel into a second-place tie with Ferrari's Fernando Alonso (though Alonso holds the tiebreaker, having won four grands prix to Vettel's three). The highest-possible points finish extended Red Bull's lead over McLaren in the Constructors' Championship. Rubens Barrichello score another top-ten (points-scoring) finish for Williams (Cosworth), though Nico Hülkenberg was knocked out at the start by his old GP2 rival Vitaly Petrov of Renault in what the stewards ruled an "avoidable collision;" Petrov will be penalized at the start of the next race, the inaugural Korean Grand Prix. Williams are now only two points behind Force India (Mercedes) for sixth place in the constructors' standings; more than prestige is on the line, millions of dollars in television revenues are disbursed amongst the teams in direct proportion to their finish in the Constructors' Championship. Heikki Kovalainen of Lotus (Cosworth) scored the new team's highest finish of the season, twelfth place, while his teammate Jarno Trulli equalled the previous team-best of thirteenth place. And next year Lotus Racing will start using the full name of the original, legendary Lotus team, Team Lotus! Hoorah for making history live again.

The Saga of "Quick Nick"
Like any other spectator sport, Formula One has its heroes & villains, & often the only distinction between them is personal fan preference. I find McLaren (officially styled Vodafone McLaren Mercedes) to be a "wretched hive of scum & villainy," but our friends at B.B.C. Sport, catering—and quite rightly—to their British audience, sing the praises of McLaren's two British drivers, 2009 World Drivers' Champion Jenson Button & 2008 World Drivers' Champion Lewis Hamilton. (I cackled with glee when Hamilton, sitting atop the drivers' standings going into the Gran Premio d'Italia, crashed out of both that race & the following Singapore Grand Prix; the two consecutive D.N.F.s [did not finish] have all but sunk the bullying Hamilton's championship hopes.) There are reasons for my opposition to McLaren, Hamilton, & Button, but were you to cut to the core of the matter I just don't like them. But one driver I do like is Nick Heidfeld, newly returned to the starting grid only two weeks ago, at Singapore.

"Quick Nick" Heidfeld is a veteran driver with a dubious claim to fame (actually, several, but we'll stick to the one): he is the highest-scoring driver never to have won a grand prix. He's finished second in eight grands prix, & has many other podium finishes to his credit, but in F1 he's never stood on that top step. Last season, alongside the Polish Robert Kubica (now of Renault), the German Heidfeld drove for B.M.W. Sauber. When B.M.W. withdrew, Sauber lost their place for 2010 & it looked like they wouldn't return before 2011 at the earliest. Both Kubica & Heidfeld went looking for a race seat. While I am not privy to all the details, either no team offered Heidfeld a drive or the only offers were from teams that were either destined to be non-competitive (the three, at one time planned to be four, new teams) or didn't offer a salary to his satisfaction. In time, Heidfeld signed as third, or reserve, driver to those Kraut bastards at the new Mercedes Grand Prix team; their two regular drivers are Michael Schumacher & Nico Rosberg, both German. With neither seven-time Drivers' Champion Schumacher, returning after three years in retirement, nor Rosberg, son of '82 Chamion Keke Rosberg, suffering injury in a shunt—& for that I am grateful—Heidfeld had little to do on grand prix weekends but hang around the Mercedes garages & stay ready.

In August, Heidfeld became the test driver for Pirelli, which will be the sole tire supplier to F1 from next season (for the last three seasons, Bridgestone has supplied F1's tires). This was seen as an advantage in his quest to earn a drive for '11, since every team will be adjusting to the new tires & Heidfeld's experience with the Pirellis might prove invaluable. But then Sauber (Ferrari) gave Pedro de la Rosa the axe, offering his erstwhile seat to our boy &—presto!—Quick Nick was back in F1. Woot! His first race, the Singapore Grand Prix, was inauspicious, as his Sauber was knocked out of the race by a vicious move from Mercedes's Schumacher. But Quick Nick came good at today's Japanese Grand Prix, finishing eighth, thus scoring four points over two grands prix, compared to the six points de la Rosa had netted in fourteen cracks at bat. Goody goody gumdrops, everybody loves a happy ending, right?

Except that Heidfeld won't be driving for Sauber in 2011. The team have announced that their driver line-up will consist of current driver Kamui Kobayashi, the most fearless man on the F1 grid (constantly riding that razor's edge between bravery & insanity, there's no move too aggressive for mad man Kobayashi to try), and this year's GP2 runner-up, Sergio Pérez. As cited above, Heidfeld's had a long, undistinguished career; there is an argument to be made that he's shown how good he can be, & that's all there is. Pérez, on the other hand, is young (only twenty compared to Quick Nick's thirty-three) & full of potential; he might not be as good a Formula One driver as Heidfeld, but the only way to really find that out is to give a kid a shot. And then there is the gripping hand to consider: Pérez has the backing of the world's richest man, Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, & the driver signing is expected to bring large infusions of sponsorship money into the cash-strapped Sauber organization. (Speed's race-calling trio, about whom there is more information below, have also speculated that Kobayashi's time with Sauber might end after 2011, because the team's reserve driver will be Pérez's fellow Mexican Esteban Gutiérrez, winner of the inaugural GP3 feeder series championship & another rising talent with Slim backing.) And, please, let me be clear, I have absolutely nothing against either Pérez or Gutiérrez; F1 constantly needs new blood, & either might prove to be the next great champion. I wish them well in their Formula One careers.

Nevertheless, Quick Nick still has three more grands prix in which to polish his résumé for next season, the brand-new Korean Grand Prix, the Grande Prêmio do Brasil, & the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix. And he'll still have more experience on the new Pirelli tires than anyone else… except his replacements as Pirelli test driver, Pedro de la Rosa & former Renault driver Romain Grosjean. Will Nick Heidfeld have a Formula One seat in 2011? if so, with whom? Stay tuned, because your humble narrator certainly hopes Abu Dhabi won't be the last we see of "Quick Nick."

The Numbers Game
During Speed's broadcast of Saturday's rained-out qualifying sessions, before it was announced that qualifying would proceed on Sunday morning, shortly before the scheduled star of the grand prix, the announcing trio of—in terms of football announcing positions—play-by-play man Bob Varsha & color men David Hobbs (former F1 driver) & Steve Matchett (former World Constructors' Championship-winning mechanic) informed me of a curious quirk in the F.I.A. regulations. If qualifying could not take place at all, but the grand prix could still go ahead, grid positions would be determined by numerical order. There are myriad faults to find with that system, but for the nonce let's take advantage of the segue into a discussion of the F1 numbering scheme. The rise of N.A.S.C.A.R. to national prominence last decade has made many more of us than would wish to know aware of the numbers of that sport's drivers. Jeff Gordon has been No. 24 for years; the villainous Dale Earnhardt's, sainted after his martyr's death, No. 3 has been effectively retired, somewhat akin to the jerseys hanging from the rafters of college fieldhouses & professional arenas all across this land. But that's not the way Formula One works, not at all. Numbers are reassigned every year. For 2010, '09 Drivers' Champion Jenson Button drives car No. 1, with his McLaren teammate Lewis Hamilton driving car No. 2. As the successor to '09 Constructors' Champion Brawn G.P., the two cars of Mercedes G.P. are Nos. 3 & 4. Bowing to superstition, there is no car No. 13. But beyond that the numbering system is a bit of a mystery, & I have been able to locate no explanation amidst forumla1.com's "Understanding the Sport" section. Are numbers allocated by seniority? Certainly not, for Red Bull Racing are Nos. 5 & 6, even though Ferrari (Nos. 7 & 8) are the only team to have competed in every single F1 season, dating back to the beginning of the World Championships in 1950. Maybe it has something to do with when certain paperwork is filed? That might be it, for all the new teams are in the higher numbers: Lotus, Nos. 18 & 19; Virgin, Nos. 20 & 21; Hispania, Nos. 24 & 25. The Sauber organization just celebrated its 300th grand prix, but its cars are Nos. 22 & 23; this is because the team was late reapplying to join the sport after B.M.W.'s withdrawal* & was given the spot & numbers allocated to USF1 before its ignominious collapse.

*Even though now using the same Ferrari engines as Ferrari & Toro Rosso, the team is still referred to as "B.M.W. Sauber" by the F.I.A., leading to, with the mention of its engine supplier, the fun name of "B.M.W. Sauber Ferrari." For next season, the B.M.W. prefix will be nixed.

"This Week in Motorsport" is back, "…with a vengeance!" (A Space Ghost: Coast to Coast reference so obscure I'd hope it's lost on everyone.)

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Potshot, "Victory or Lost" from Dance to the Potshot Record (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Said a jubilant Sebastian Vettel over the radio to his crew, as he took his victory lap around mighty Suzuka, "This is our circuit." Today's triumph was Vettel's second consecutive win in the Japanese Grand Prix, & also the first time he'd twice claimed the checkered flag at any single circuit. I make no bones about it, I love that kid.