Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Queue

Saints Behaving Badly is divided into chapters of greatly varying length, each expounding upon the sinfulness of one or another future saint, pre-repentance. I list them below for, one, my own amusement &, two, your possible edification. The saints are chronicled chronologically.
St. Matthew, Extortionist; (Wayback Machine)
St. Dismas, Thief;
St. Callixtus, Embezzler; (Wayback Machine)
St. Hippolytus, Antipope; (Wayback Machine)
St. Christopher, Servant of the Devil;
St. Pelagia, Promiscuous Actress;
St. Genesius, Scoffer;
St. Moses the Ethiopian, Cutthroat and Gang Leader;
St. Fabiola, Bigamist;
St. Augustine, Heretic and Playboy; (Wayback Machine)
St. Alipius, Obsessed with Blood Sports;
St. Patrick, Worshipper of False Gods;
St. Mary of Egypt, Seductress;
St. Columba, Warmonger;
St. Olga, Mass Murderer;
St. Vladimir, Fratricide, Rapist, and Practitioner of Human Sacrifice;
St. Olaf, Viking;
St. Thomas Becket, Hedonist;
St. Francis of Assisi, Wastrel; (Wayback Machine)
Blessed Giles of Portugal, Satanist;
St. Margaret of Cortona, Rich Man's Mistress;
Blessed Angela of Foligno, Gossip and Hedonist;
St. Ignatius of Loyola, Egotist;
St. John of God, Gambler and Drunkard;
St. Camillus de Lellis, Cardsharp and Con Man;
St. Philip Howard, Cynic and Negligent Husband;
St. Peter Claver, Dithering Novice; (Wayback Machine)
Venerable Matt Talbot, Chronic Alcoholic
The longest chapter belongs to St. Thomas Becket, weighing in at fourteen pages; Sts. Genesius & Fabiola are tied, each account spread over four pages, but really consuming only three full pages.

Recently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Synthetic Men of Mars
Matthew Kelly, Rediscover Catholicism: A Spiritual Guide to Living with Passion & Purpose ***abandoned***
Thomas J. Craughwell, Saints Behaving Badly: The Cutthroats, Crooks, Trollops, Con Men, and Devil Worshippers Who Became Saints

Currently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Llana of Gathol

Presently
Edgar Rice Burroughs, John Carter of Mars
Rice Broocks, God's Not Dead: Evidence for God in an Age of Uncertainty
Richard Price, Clockers
Sir Richard Francis Burton, translator, "Sinbad the Sailor" from The Arabian Nights
Sir Ernest Shackleton, South: A Memoir of the Endurance Voyage
Ted Morgan, Valley of Death: The Tragedy at Dien Bien Phu That Led America into the Vietnam War
Norman Stone, The Atlantic and Its Enemies: A Personal History of the Cold War

Lately Neglected
Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan, or The Matter, Forme, & Power of a Common-wealth Ecclesiasticall and Civill
Edmund Burke, The Evils of Revolution
F. J. Sheed, Theology for Beginners

The Rebel Black Dot Song of Thanksgiving
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, "A Reason to Toast" from Medium Rare (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"I'd like to open up by making a suggestion,
One that I suggest you're open to,
And then I'll open up the floor and take a question,
After that it's time to tilt a few (you and you and you).

"A reason to toast,
A reason to cheer,
A reason to celebrate:
It's nice being here!

"You might be wondering just why I called this meeting
And let another moment pass,
Before we move on, please, let's rearrange the seating,
After that it's time to raise a glass.

"I'll raise my glass up high to all the friendly faces,
Here and wherever they may be,
I don't know why I never thought 'til now to say this,
But you mean the world to me.

"A reason to toast,
A reason to cheer,
A reason to celebrate:
It's nice being here!

"Let's raise a glass up high because we're here together,
What better reason could exist?
Hey, lads, let's raise a glass, what could be better than this?
If you're without a glass, then let's see your fist!
(Get 'em up there, boys!)

"A reason to toast,
A reason to cheer,
A reason to celebrate:
It's nice being here!…"

3 comments:

J.R. said...

As I might forget before Taco Tuesday, is the book one that you own, and if so can you lend it out?

Mike Wilson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike Wilson said...

Yes & yes. As I returned it to the bookshelf yesterday, I wondered idly to whom I might lend it.