The Rebel Black Dot Song o' the Day

Cast, "All-American Prophet" from The Book of Mormon: Original Broadway Cast Recording (The Last Angry Man)

Commentary: I'm sorry if this seems mean, for I don't mean to be mean to Mormons, at least not for meanness's sake, but the straight-faced case for the Book of Mormon (the book, not the musical) is scarcely less risible than the parody presented in "All-American Prophet."

"You all know the Bible is made of Testaments, Old and New,
You're been told it's just those two parts, or only one if you're a Jew,
But what if I were to tell you there's a fresh third part out there,
Which was found by a hip, new prophet who had a little Donny Osmond flair?

"Have you heard of the all-American prophet?
The blond-haired, blue-eyed voice of God?
He didn't come from the Middle East like those other holy men,
No, God's favorite prophet was all-American!…"

And it goes on like that. Behind the mean-spirited mockery of Mormons, the fuming hatred of God, & the adolescent toilet humor, a redemptive—though not fully redeeming—aspect of The Book of Mormon (the musical, not the book) is the story of Elder Price's struggle with his own pride & inflated sense of self-importance.

"Have you heard of the all-American prophet?
(Kevin Price!)
The next in line to be the voice of God?
(My best friend!)
He's gonna do something incredible and be Joseph Smith again,
'Cause Kevin Price the prophet is all, all, all, all-American!
(If you order now we'll also throw in a set of steak knives!)
All-American!"

I wonder if Messers. Lopez, Parker, & Stone realize they are as ludicrously prideful as Elder Price, if not more so, & that they really wrote "All-American Prophet" about themselves? Likely not. That depth of introspection is difficult, & spooky, spookier even than "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream."