The Explorers Club
No. XLVI - Thor Heyerdahl, the voyage of the good ship Kon-Tiki, and Kon-Tiki, Heyerdahl's bestselling account of the voyage.






This week's episode is the result of a subject suggested by my dear friend and one of The Secret Base's strongest supporters, Codename: Alistair. I owe him my thanks.

I am sufficiently self-aware to know that "The Explorers Club" will tend toward my own particular interests, handicapping to some degree the project's very mission of revealing the manifold splendors of this wondrous world. If you have any suggestions for future episodes, I welcome their transmission through the usual channels.

The Victors
A trio of familiar remarks, in a presentation patterned after the First Triumvirate. Crassus says, "Damn the Big Ten Network!" Pompey the Great cautions, "Any win you can walk away from is a good one, but we gave up twenty-two points to Eastern fucking Michigan! Why in Jupiter's name does Ron English still have a job? And while I'm glad we're 4-2 instead of, say, 1-5, whom exactly of any quality have we beaten in those two pair of victories? The next two contests, against a revenge-minded Purdue and a surging Illinois, will reveal the true character of this year's valiant Wolverines. Quirinus (and Bo) help us all." Julius Caesar exults, "You've got to have Hart! I don't care if it was against EMU, three touchdowns and two hundred fifteen yards is a grand day's work in anyone's book! And the school record for rushing yards in a career! Thank you, Mr. Hart, for all honor you've brought to that magnificent winged helmet and the invaluable service you've rendered for the noblest of all causes, the greater glory of the University of Michigan. Go Blue!"

Pompey laments, "Next season, we're not going to have Mike Hart to compensate for Ron English's defensive ineptitude. Minerva bless Lloyd, but unless the coaching staff is almost entirely revamped things in Ann Arbor are going to get much, much worse before they get better. There are dark days ahead."

Go Blue!

He Tasks Me
Credit where and when it is due: my congratulations to the vile Fighting Irish of the University of Notre Dame on their first victory of the season. I long ago grew comfortable with the principle that if I am to revel in the misery of my adversaries to my wretched heart's delight, I must also pay them homage when such is their due. Not that I'm happy about it, mind you; leave it to those shiftless bums in the Pac-10 to ruin everyone's good time. Bog, I hate the Pac-10.

Still, "He tasks me. He tasks me, and I shall have him." The victory over UCLA (I spit on the Pac-10) improves Notre Dame's record to 1-5, placing Charlie the Whale alongside, oh, let's say Bobby Williams in the pantheon of coaching. *snicker* Oh, come now, maybe I am enjoying this just a tad too much. Balderdash! In the immortal words of Hedonism-Bot, "I apologize for nothing!"

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
College football season is worth waiting nine months for.

The Good: Michigan State lost! Wisconsin lost! (I cannot say exactly why I hate Wisconsin, but I do hate them so very, very much.) USC lost! Florida lost!

The Bad: Ohio State won. Ohio State won in dominating fashion. Notre Dame failed to lose. YET AGAIN, a comet failed to annihilate all the fans of Texas and Oklahoma whilst they were obligingly gathered in one place. (Rat fink comets.)

The Ugly: We gave up twenty-two points to Eastern Michigan. Oy. And please don't misunderstand me, I mean no disrespect to the eager Eagles of Eastern Michigan University.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Blues Brothers, "She Caught the Katy" from The Blues Brothers Original Soundtrack Recording (T.L.A.M.)