Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Operation ÖSTERREICH
I'm at an awkward size vis-à-vis my belts, my girth falling between two eyelets. The eyelets I've been using no longer afford proper support of my trousers, leaving me constantly to hike up my waistband lest my boxer shorts be exposed, & yet the next smaller-size eyelets makes the belts' fits too tight, especially in a seated position. The solution for this is to tough it out until I shrink down to that next eyelets, but the holidays are upon us, & along with them ample opportunities to snack. Hard as this may be to believe given my elephantine bulk, but I always put on weight between Thanksgiving & the New Year. So, caught between active efforts to shrink & the inevitable reality of growth, it seems I'll be caught at this awkward size at least until sometime in the latter parts of January, or February. Still, I will harness all of ÖSTERREICH's energies towards arresting that annual swelling & not only continuing but accelerating the CADMUS-mandated reduction in my person.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
K. Steeze & the Brothers Mace, "Santa Baby" courtesy of K. Steeze (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Truly one of the worst recordings ever made. Just horrible. A time-tested dictum of B.T.W. is "Alienate the audience;" with this precept in mind, I shall be lobbying for "Santa Baby" to be included as a bonus track on the forthcoming Real Can of Yams E.P. If this awful rendition of "Santa Baby" doesn't alienate the audience, nothing will.

No comments: