I Fucking Hate St. Paddy's Day.
My name is Michael Patrick Wilson. I may be only a quarter Irish, but I'm Catholic and that comes entirely from my 100% Mick Grandma Little (maiden name: Phalan). Plus, my name is Michael Patrick; so, I've always been more Irish than either my brother or sister. I fucking hate "Plastic Hat Irish Day" (thanks to Skeeter's roommate for the name). If you like St. Paddy's Day, you can go fuck yourself.

The ultimate American expression of St. Paddy's Day came from that vapid whore SSG, who as she sipped a Coors which had been dyed green said, "I wish I was Irish." You fucking cunt, what does drinking dyed-green American piss-water have to do with being Irish! There is more to being Irish than drinking beer, and even if there wasn't it wouldn't mean drinking that weak shite! Drink a Guinness or a Harp or a Caffrey's for Pete's sake!

Also, the symbol for Ireland isn't a fucking shamrock, you bastards, it's a harp.

Last but not least, St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland. A Catholic saint. What the hell are all you Orange Protestant wankers doing celebrating the feast day of a Roman Catholic saint? It's Saint Patrick's Day, so piss off if you aren't Catholic.

That's all for me. In the words of Clover Connelly, "Fek aff, I'm Irish!" Erin Go Bragh!