I'm thinking that maybe I should just give up on Lindsay. Let's be honest, she's never going to love me the way I want her to. And I'm never going to be happy about that. Being her best friend is in many ways aggrivating the pain over my inadequacy. And it's not good to always be mad at someone who cares so much about you; it's only a matter of time before I'd feel like crap for not just striking out maliciously. Or worse, I would strike out maliciously and purposely hurt her. No, better to tell her I'm in love with her, and that I can't be her friend anymore. Just be done with it and never speak to her ever again.

And then, the dark bastard reminds me, because he wins no matter how you slice it, I'll always be plagued by the worst question in the world, "What if...?" That, and I'll hate me and my weakness for giving up. Quite the pickle in which I find myself.