Donkeys and Elephants
It is not my purpose to be unnecessarily insulting, but watching the current contenders for the Democratic presidential nomination is like watching '88 all over again. Hear me out. The last time a conservative presidential candidate lost an election was 1964, when crazy Barry Goldwater lost to Jack Kennedy's ghost. Since then, the American electorate has grown consistantly more and more conservative. (Richard Nixon would be a Democrat today.) In 1988, the Democrats nominated ultra-liberal Michael Dukakis, who then handily lost the election to the moderate George "41" Bush, running on the strength of conservative Ronald Reagan's record.

In 1992, the Democrats nominated Bill Clinton, who we must remember was from the conservative wing of the Democratic Party. Clinton's only major liberal policy, socialized health care, went down in flames and he spent the last six years of his presidency ruling, very successfully, as a Republican-light. Yet, we must also bear in mind that Bill Clinton was a singluarly amazing individual, as charming and charismatic as Old Scratch himself. Perhaps it was only because of his unique skills that he was able to so successfully co-opt the Republican agenda. The Democrats certainly seem to think so, for, instead of continuing his policies of pulling the rug out from under the GOP, the Democrats have decided to go left.

"Red" Nancy Pelosi is the leader in the House. For the presidential nomination, John "Massachusetts Liberal" Kerry and Dick "Big Union" Gephart appear to be the frontrunners, though John "Trial Lawyer" Edwards has a lot of money and Howard "Peacenik" Dean has a certain McCain-esque appeal. What is wrong with these people? President "43" Bush, despite his reasonable demeanor, is a flaming conservative; why are the simply conceeding the middle to him and hoping to make a stand on the left? Folks, it won't work! It can't work. I'm sorry, there just aren't enough votes on the left, especially if Ralph Nader and the Green (Red) Party decide to play the spoiler once again (run, Ralph, run!).

The Republican Party should not be the majority party. Seventy years of elite, academic, and media dominance by liberals should have safely delivered this country into the hands of the Democrats; and yet, "43" is the President and the GOP completely controls the Congress. True, we are smart and guileful, but that alone cannot explain our nigh invincibility.

I'm glad when my party wins elections, it just doesn't make any sense to me.