Sunday and Monday were no fun days. And tonight, because my stupid parents had to raise me to have a conscience, I'm going in to work to help out the one sup I absolutely hate, the jackass whose speech patterns drive me to murderous thoughts. Lousy do-gooding.

My buddy Crew's infatuated with a girl named Britten. Now they would make just about the oddest-named-pair-whose-names-sound-almost-normal one could imagine. Crew & Britten.

The word of the day: monstrous.