"We ain't got no place to go,
Let's go to the punk rawk show,
Darling, take me by the hand,
Gonna see a punk rawk band."

If you don't love MxPx, you don't know what you're missing. I feel sorry for you. And yet at the same time, you suck.

Puns
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Prophet Motive"
Star Trek: Voyager "False Profits"

My dad's always been an asshole (hell, so am I), but at least he didn't used to be a dyed-in-the-wool, no hyperbole fascist. This evening on the news, we learned of an American Army officer who "interrogated" an Iraqi Ba'athist remnant fighter by threatening his life and firing a gun at the ground near the prisoner's head. I expressed outrage at this behavior; I hate Ba'athist remnant assholes as much as anyone, but we are better than that. We do not torture people. Meine vater expressed his support and admiration for the American officer's actions. I was appalled. It is an old argument, but I think a good one: if we employ the same tactics as those we label villains, how are we any better?

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
"Emissary, Parts I and II" - "In the Hands of the Prophets"
"The Homecoming" - "The Jem'Hadar"
"The Search, Part I" - "The Adversary"
"The Way of the Warrior, Parts I and II" - "Broken Link"
"Apocalypse Rising" - "Call to Arms"
"A Time to Stand" - "Tears of the Prophets"
(Season 7 censored for Zach Nie!'s benefit)

The Dominion, the anti-Federation. Not a monolithic enemy like the Romulans or Cardassians, but a union composed of hundreds of different species. A dark mirror of the Federation, bound not by principles of mutual respect, cultural tolerance, and interstellar justice, but fear. The Founders and their servents, teh Vorta and the Jem'Hadar. "The Vorta tell you to do something and you do it. Because if you do not, they send the Jem'Hadar. And then you die."

Thank Bog for The Chinkees.

I am beset upon all sides by idiots. And some days, I just can't deal with it and lash out. Right now, I can't stand most of the people I know; when I'm in such a humour, it is best to avoid me like plague, lest I say something truly nasty which will affect the friendship even after I'm back to normal. At the same time, I desperately wish to speak with those few I can stomach. Odd, that.

People say, "In a hundred years, none of this will matter. " That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If you believe that, why get out of bed in the morning? Why eat? Why fuck? No, dumbass, ALL of it matters. Every moment of every hour of every day of your entire fucking life matters. When you lose your temper over a game of Risk. When you drink too much and "aren't really in control" of what you do. When you wish the whole world would just go away. All of it matters. None of it is unimportant. "In a hundred years, none of this will matter." If that's true, please do me the favor of shooting yourself in the fucking head.

(Now you may begin to glean why they call me The Last Angry Man.)

When I woke up this morning, there wer six people here. Now there are three. The house feels empty. But, tomorrow we're putting up the Christmas decorations; so, that will make things seem more festive.

Good news. Battlestar Galactica, the old TV show, sucked. However, now the Sci Fi Channel has produced a new miniseries (some say a backdoor television pilot), Battlestar Galactica. Even though the old show sucked, I was planning on watching it. After what I learned today, though, I can't wait to see the new miniseries. Why? It was written by Ronald D. Moore, excellent writer for both Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Along with erstwhile co-writer Brannon Brage, co-creator and executive producer of Star Trek: Enterprise, Moore was responsible for the TNG series finale, "All Good Things...", as well as the first two movies, Star Trek Generations and Star Trek: First Contact. Plus, he was driving force behind the entire Klingon civil war story line. Based on his past performance, I think Battlestar Galactica, odd a statement as this might seem, has a chance to be really good.

Many people like to argue. Some people think I like to argue. No, I like to fight.

And once again, there is someone sleeping downstairs. That is far and away the worst thing about living at home. I love how my parents taught us to not be selfish or inconsiderate, but then they do this almost every night. Assholes. Worse, hypocrites.

The Mountain of Love and I just returned from The Matrix Revolutions. About that, let me say this: the movie, and thus the trilogy, did not so much end as stop. It was delightfully disappointing. I will always love The Matrix as a great science fiction/action movie, but the two sequels were dreadful, though to be fair, by far the worse of the two was The Matrix Reloaded. Excellent.

As a matter of housekeeping, I may change the Bassoonatic's name to the Conchshell, a play on her last name.

The lovely Bassoonatic's here. My brother keeps jokingly patting her arse. What in the high holy Hell is going on? Many of the New David changes are decidedly positive, but then something like this happens and I wonder how much of David survived the arrival of the New.

The last time I'll ever complain about work: retail sucks. Yesterday, I had a good vacation vibe going. I slept in. I watched football. I didn't take a shower. I ate so much food. And then I ate a huge pile of mashed potatoes. And some pie. There's always room for pie. (But I'm not the man I used to be, I didn't have seconds of anything. I know, I'm embarrassed for me, too.) But then this morning I woke up at 7 fucking 20 and drove to work. It was pretty much downhill from there. But, I worked through my mini-lunch break, which earned me the right to leave early. So, things are better since then.

Sometimes you're just in the mood for The Starting Line. And sometimes you're in the mood for Student Rick.

Sometimes you get home from work and people invite themselves into your room. You'd thinking sitting down at your desk and opening your journal would be what some call a "subtle hint," but apparently, it was too subtle.

I wish people were on AIM. I feel the need for human contact. Sure, there are plenty of people downstairs, but. Maybe I'll go bug my sister.

"Drowning in your lies,
Deceived by your eyes."
--Student Rick, "A Child's Cry" from Soundtrack For a Generation

At least it's snowing. Thank God for small favors.

Fooey, I don't want to work tomorrow.

"Friend or foe" or "friend or faux"?

I want there to be an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise called "The Pirates of Orion."

My sister's here! I only see here a couple; so, it's always cool when it happens. She's shocked and horrified at our father's behavior (nothing he has done today, just his general descent into madness). The Bassoonatic is coming tomorrow; so, the Mountain's attention is focused solely on her. Hmmm, should I be happy for him or bitter that he isn't paying attention to me? Eh, for a change of pace, I'll take the high road. (And get to Scotland before ye!)

I'm worried about Skeeter, but am uncertain how (or if) to help. Hmmm, I need me some manner of all purpose emotional panacea. But then I guess adding "all-purpose" to "panacea" is redundent. Fuck. I may not be bright, but at least I'm still pretty.

I had a brief IM conversation with Sardine tonight. My bro was online talking to the Bassoonatic when Sardine IMed him. She asked about me and I talked to her when he went to the w.c. I should attempt to reestablish regular communication with her; my intention is more than friendship, but that would be fine, too.

Prompted by the Thanksgiving deadline, I finally squared away my stuff. The computer room looks good. David's room looks good. My room looks good. I could take this opportuniety to chastise myself for procrastinating for months, but instead I think I'll just congratulate myself on a job well done.

"Was that great or what?"
"They are strangely silent, m'lord Lord. I must assume that they are either overawed by your presentation or mass vomiting will shortly ensue."
"Awe. Definately awe."
"You don't really believe that...?"
"No. But denial can be a marvelous survival tool."
"I think it would be wise to flee at once, sir."

I need to get some more caffeine into my system, I'm just not feeling it right now. This entire week has been off, so very very off, but I believe most of that can be directly traced to my dad taking the week off work.

Tomorrow, I will see both the Mountain of Love and Evil Lisa. All will be right with the world.

It's 12:30am and the cat's running around like a madman, chasing things which just aren't there. Life is good.

I'm thinking of making every Wednesday Zooey Deschanel Appreciation Day. Can't ever have too much Zooey.

The topic in which I am most interested and yet least informed: European integration, the specific powers and limitations of the European Union, and the intentions of the various member countries. Europe is a continent in decline, but still of vital importance.

Guess what I got to do the very minute I got home from work today? I worked on the Mousemobile's brakes. Guess what's wrong with the Mousemobile's brakes? Nothing! There is nothing in the world more annoying and inconvenient than my father during a week off. It's awful. Hell, I'd almost rather be at work.

"Well, why don't you fix it, dear fellow, dear fellow, well, why don't you fix it before I go mad!"

Listening to "Across the Stars" from the Episode II soundtrack, I would not just forsake my father and refuse my name, but burn the very stars, for her whom I loved. What are a man's honor and soul compared to the glory of her eyes? I speak not just of Natalie Portman's Padme Amidala, but of all the hers across all the heavens. For love, for her, no price is too great.

On a related note, if you do not love Star Wars, I pity you, for there is no joy in your heart. In the same breath, I hate you and despise all for which you stand.

Republic Clone Trooper
Imperial Stormtrooper

I saw my brother's wedding today; I could see myself in my tuxedo, jacket off and sleeves rolled up. Bastard that I am, I was thinking less about his happiness than my own loneliness. I really need to see Love Actually. Sappy and with a British cast? My dream.

I'm still in love with the Martian Queen.

What do you do when the Internet isn't any fun anymore? Maximum Defiant. Because the Internet is still fun, you just have to look for it.

Essential Lines From Any Mike Wilson Star Trek
"The only road to a satisfactory conclusion is the massive and sudden application of unconscionable violence."

"Wonders beyond imagination, terrors beyond comprehension."

I know no one cares, but I am having the hardest time deciding whether Captain Seneca's Warspite should be a Galaxy-class or Sovereign-class starship. My intention is to conduct my own sort of mental show, a Star Trek: Ships of the Line if you will, chronically the adventures of the crews of Federation starships not named Enterprise, betwen the end of DS9 in 2375 and the film Star Trek: Nemesis in 2379. One thing this lets me do is include many, many more aliens. For production and budgetary reasons, the majority of the main crew of any starship we see will always be human; but, there are over 150 different sentient species in the Federation, and presumably at least that many in Starfleet. The senior staff of Captain Pethlo's Seawolf, for example, includes a Pic (the good captain is of a species of my own invention), an Andorian, two Vulcans, a Betazoid, a Deltan, two Bolians, and a single human; my original plan called for an all-alien crew, but I love my character of the science officer Ensign Bean, a.k.a. Beano.

Everybody's working for the weekend. Woo and hoo.

Tomorrow, The Game. Michigan-Ohio State, the greatest rivalry in all of sports. And our hopes for victory rest squarely on the shoulders of John Navarre. We're doomed. (Actually, I think we're going to win. Our offense has too many weapons to be completely shut down, even by their formidable defense, whereas their pathetic offense won't make much headway against our tenacious D.) Fuck the Buckeyes, dear readers, fuck the Buckeyes.

Planet Express Delivery Company
"Our crew is expendable, your package isn't."
Professor Hubert Farnsworth, founder and CEO
Hermes Conrad, chief financial officer
Turanga Leela, captain of the Planet Express Delivery Ship
Philip J. Fry, delivery boy
Bender, ship's cook
Dr. John Zoidberg, staff physician
Amy Wong, intern
Scruffy, janitor

"See Brak acquire. Acquire, Brak. Acquire!"

Would it be wrong to officially change the name of the Department of Defense to the Donald Rumsfeld War Machine? 'Cause I think that would be cool.

"If there was a girl to be engaged to,
That amazing girl would have to be you,
Before we hung out,
I don't know how I lived without,
Your beautiful face,
Like God's amazing grace."
--MxPx, "Andrea" from Life in General

Dini and Ross
Superman: Peace on Earth
Batman: War on Crime
Shazam! Power of Hope
Wonder Woman: Spirit of Truth
JLA: Secret Origins
JLA: Liberty and Justice

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch
Today, I wage slaved, mulched the leaves, cooked dinner (the fourth time in eight nights), and did the dishes. And after all this, my dad turned off all the downstairs lights at 10:00pm because he felt like sleeping on the couch in the living room. Well, today certainly was a kick in the fucking teeth. Oh, yes, and the cat keeps whining to be let outside. Asshole, it's after midnight; go fuck yourself. At least Scrubs was laugh out loud funny.

Unilateralism
France had reached an "honorable peace." Poland, Czechoslovakia, and Austria's opinions had been given due consideration. The United States, Russia, Japan, and Sweden, among others, remained neutral. Italy and Germany voiced strong opposition. Yet despite the fact that international opinion seemed to be against them, from the fall of France in June 1940 until the invasion of the Soviet Union in June 1941, the United Kingdom stood alone against Nazi Germany. I find this blatant unilateralism both arrogant and hawkish. How dare the British go into a war without the support of their closest ally, the United States. Winston Churchill was the greatest threat to world peace at the time. Germany, German-occupied France, and "independent" Vichy were all against Britain's "Bring 'em on" stance, yet the British continued to flaunt international opinion. I am shocked that the League of Nations was too cowardly to condemn Britain for her rogue conduct.

(The moral of the story? Just because you are alone doesn't mean you are wrong.)

Catching the tail end of the '97 Michigan-Ohio State game on ESPN Classic, I see those heroes of yore Glenn Steele, James Hall, Sam Sword, Charles Woodson, Marcus Ray.... We shall never see their like again. Best. Defense. Ever.

Defcon Owl Traps. Kills owls dead. (In the future.)

Have I mentioned that I fucking hate it when my parents sleep downstairs? Well, I do. Especially because my mom snores like a congested Wookiee.

Faux News Channel*
As many of you are aware, I am *gasp!* a Republican. I feel it necessary to state that this does NOT mean that I watch, support, or endorse Fox News Channel. According to Fox "News" (yesterday, John Gibson's show The Big Story), Great Britain is not an ally of the United States. The British people hate not just the war in Iraq and President Bush, but America itself. Sweet fancy Moses, have they gone mad or do those fools actually believe this? Making fun of France is one thing (a people lead by Jacques Chirac deserve to be mocked), but this is outright xenophobia. The British hate us? Yes, obviously, I suppose that must be why Tony Blair has been removed from office over his support for American policies and why in a BBC poll, 43% or Britons welcome President Bush's state visit, while 36% wish he hadn't come. Oh, wait, Blair is still in power, unchallenged even by the red/peacenik wing of his own Labour Party. Idiots. When I am confronted with cowards and liars like those at Fox News hiding behind the First Amendment, sometimes freedom of speech and freedom of the press seem like to high a price to pay for suffering these fools.

*My thanks to Micah Wright, writer of the comic book StormWatch: Team Achilles for the phrase "Faux News Channel." Many people have made fun of Fox News (Fake News Channel, Vox News Channel), but none are quite as pleasing as Faux News. Bwa ha.

Peace on Earth, Goodwill Toward Man, and Give Me Lots of Presents
{CDs}
The Hippos, The Hippos
MxPx, Before Everything and After
Liz Phair, Liz Phair
Barenaked Ladies, Everything to Everyone
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Are a Drag, Have a Ball, and Blow in the Wind
Johnny Cash, American IV: The Man Comes Around
The Ataris, So Long, Astoria
Blink-182, Blink-182 (this is a final act of loyalty to the great band they were back in the Dude Ranch days)

{DVDs}
Movies
The Adventures of Indiana Jones (the Indiana Jones trilogy boxset)
Empire Records
Finding Nemo
Star Trek: The Motion Picture The Director's Edition
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock Special Collector's Edition
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier Special Collector's Edition

Anime
FLCL vol. 3
Last Exile vol. 1
Love Hina vols. 2-6
Mobile Suit Gundam: Char's Counterattack

{Books}
Stephen Glass, The Fabulist
Chuck Palahniuk, Lullaby
Winston S. Churchill, ed., Never Give In!
Tobias Wolff, In the Garden of North American Matyrs and The Barracks Thief

There's an entire other catagory, {Misc.}, but those are the boring, practical things. I put them on the list because my mom is going to buy me some boring, practical things anyway; so, this way I at least get the boring, practical things I want.

Everyone Deserves Twleve Chances
After a brief and deceptive respite, Ass has returned to the BTW Forums. *sigh* The chief advantage to being The Last Angry Man is clarity, the clarity necessary to properly deal with such ill-fortune. Someone must make a stand for what is right and if not me, then whom? "I have fought to good fight. I have finished the course. I have kept the faith."

I was talking to Never Girl when I got kicked out of the computer room. There is not a phone in my room; so, I moved to my parents' room. I was lying on their bed with the TV on in the backgorund and all of a sudden I couldn't hear a word she was saying. Empire Records was on. I love Empire Records. She was talking about feeling like she's become a boring, archetypal grad student in a relationship, a one-dimensional person... or something. I don't know, Robin Tunney had just cut her hair.

The cat sits on my lap while I'm watching TV all the time. But this seems different. With a cat on my lap while I'm on the computer, I feel like bloody Blofeld.

Proud Ilium
Romans! These are your arts...
To bear dominion over the nations,
To impose peace,
To spare the conquered,
And subdue the proud!
--The Aeneid

According to tradition, the Romans were descended from Aeneas ad the other survivors of Troy. They claimed ancestry to the losers of the Trojan War and over the centuries of Roman rule, the sons of Agamamnon were made to understand that Troy had been but a battle, and that the sons of Priam had won the war.

It is important to listen to the dark bastard. Not to let him get you down, but just hear him out; he's smarter than he lets on. And he just might be right; self-destruction might be the answer.

Would Tyler Durden qualify as the narrator's dark bastard?

Correction: the coming horror is not "Retroactively Making Star Trek: Voyager Good, Part XV," but "Retroactively Making Star Trek: Voyager Good, Part XVI." The management apologizes for any inconvenience.

Last night, the folks and I went to Detroit to see my brother perform in The Marriage of Figaro. The story of Figaro is the biggest piece of crap you'll ever encounter, but I am forced to admit that after seeing the opera twice, it is starting to grow on me. Cursed culture!

Is it wrong to be in love with the Queen of Mars?

More Episode Titles
"A Distant Star"
"The Prince"
"31"
"The Sword of Damocles"
"The House of Lies"w
"Trojan Horse"
"The Old Gods"
"The Romulan Gambit"
"Disciples"
"Restoration"
"The Faithful"
"Return of the Titans"

Star Trek: New Tomorrow
The Enterprise NCC-1701-F/G/H/whatever in the 25th century, fifty years after the Dominion War (which we would call "the present"). (Editorial: Through TNG and DS9, the 24th century has been detailed to an incredible degree; it would be a mistake to not capitalize on this, to cut and run to another century.)

Star Trek: Federation
Set in Enterprise's 22nd century, the further adventures of the Enterprise NX-01 or another early Earth Starfleet ship on the road to unifiying with the Vulcans and Andorians to found the United Federation of Planets.

Star Trek: Distant Stars
Star Trek: To Boldy Go
Star Trek: Endeavour
More vague. Basically permutations of the Next Generation concept, anywhere from five to fifteen years after the Dominion War.

Star Trek: Titan
The adventures of Captain Riker and his crew aboard the Titan immediately after Star Trek: Nemesis, four years after the Dominion War.

Klingons say, "Today is a good day to die."

Jem'Hadar say, "Victory is life."

Good titles for pretty much any future show:
"Hail, Hail, the Gang's All Here"
"Death Among the Stars"
"Far, Far Away"
"Nomad"
"Proud Romulus"
"Web of Deception"
"Smoke and Mirrors"
"Empire of Ages"
"The Demolished Man"

{Pilots}
Star Trek "The Cage" (1964), "Where No Man Has Gone Before (1965)
In the mid-60s, no one knew Star Trek would become Star Trek, it was a TV show, not a bloated franchise. The initial pilot starred Jeffrey Hunter as Captain Christopher Pike and featured only one member of the later cast, Leonard Nimoy as Spock. Though NBC rejected the pilot, which was a nice little piece of true sci-fi, they placed the unusual order for a second pilot. As Hunter was unavailable for the second pilot, William Shatner was cast as Captain James T. Kirk. Though the female first officer from "The Cage" was dropped, Mr. Spock remained, soon to be joined by Bones, Scotty, Sulu, and Uhura, the other regulars (Chekov came later). "Where No Man Has Gone Before" was picked up by NBC and the show ran for three years, though it has lived on in syndication for another thirty-five.

Star Trek: The Next Generation "Encounter at Farpoint, Parts I and II" (1987)
This is quite possibly the worst piece of Star Trek ever. (Worse even than Star Trek: The Motion Picture, it is in a race to the bottom with only Voyager's series finale, "Endgame, Parts I and II.") But, it was successful because of starvation. For the eighteen years between Star Trek's cancellation in 1969 and this new series, the only thing people had to watch were the seventy-nine episodes of the original series; as great as they are, once you've seen each one a dozen times you begin to desire something, anything, new and different. Fortunately, TNG overcame the shortcomings of its pilot (and first two seasons) and for the committed viewer, eventually became the second-best of all Star Trek series and gave the franchise a new birth.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Emissary, Parts I and II" (1993)
After six years of producing The Next Generation, the people behind "Emissary" knew what they were doing; a direct spinoff of TNG, DS9 incorporated such TNG-introduced elements as Trills ("The Host"), Cardassians ("The Wounded"), Bajorans ("Ensign Ro"), and Chief Miles O'Brien. "Emissary" even included both Picard's Enterprise-D and the infamous Battle of Wolf 359. Unlike "Encounter at Farpoint," you can see the seeds of DS9's greatness in "Emissary." It was the first episode written; so, clearly you can discern that both the writers and the actors are trying to find each character's voice, but the show was both strong and distinct from day one. Many people, though, gorged on The Next Generation (and, some have suggested, possibly because DS9 had a black captain), did not give the new show the same incredible patience they had given its older brother. By the time we arrive at "The Way of the Warrior" and "Call to Arms," this was obviously their loss, and sucks to be them for missing the greatest of all Star Treks.

Star Trek: Voyager "Caretaker, Parts I and II" (1995)
1994 was an exciting time in Star Trek. In May, The Next Generation concluded, beginning a new franchise of movies in November with Star Trek Generations; DS9 was improving with every episode and about to introduce a dark mirror image of the Federation in "The Jem'Hadar"; and a new ship-bound series was in the works. This was Star Trek: Voyager, the product of hubris and a lamentably wasted opportunity. "Caretaker" says almost everything that needs to be said about Voyager; it was a servicable story, but with a thousand small yet ominous tidings, all of which, sadly, were borne out. The new show was flat, one-dimensional, and unimaginative; arguably, the first season was the best, as it at least has the excuse of being the first season. Over the course of seven years, the characters remained static, the story meandered, and when all was said and done there was no celebratory hurrah, just a wearied acknowledgment that the ordeal was at last over. (I do not mean to boast, but my version of the show, Star Trek: Odyssey would have been far superior.)

Star Trek: Enterprise "Broken Bow, Parts I and II" (2001)
With the failure of Voyager and the lackluster reception of the third TNG movie, Star Trek: Insurrection, it was decided that a radical change was necessary to revive the franchise: instead of setting a fourth show in TNG's 24th century, the new show would take a page from Star Trek: First Contact's exploration of the time between ourselves and Kirk's 23rd century and be set ninety years after first contact with the Vulcans, one hundred ten years before Kirk, and ten years before the Federation was even founded. Enterprise as the show was originally titled, is a curious endeavour; it was conceived, possibly ill-conceived, as a grand departure from what had come before, but the most enjoyabe moments of the show have come from retroactively exploring elements introduced in the later series: Vulcans, Andorians, Romulans, Klingons, Tellarites, and even, slyly, Ferengi and Borg. "Broken Bow" was an attention-grabbing pilot and Enterprise had quite possibly the strongest first season of any of the modern Star Trek shows.

What happens next? The fourth TNG film, Star Trek: Nemesis was the first Star Trek movie, in a history that stretches over ten films going back to 1979, to not make money in theaters. (Many suspect it was the last film we shall see featuring Captain Picard and the adventures of the Enterprise-E.) Honestly, I think the best course of action would be to focus on Star Trek: Enterprise for the time being, and make it the best show it can be. What happens after that would depend on the success the show enjoys, which could spawn another show set in the 22nd century at the birth of the Federation (Star Trek: Federation?), or I know many would like to return to the 24th century (my ideas: Star Trek: New Frontier, the adventures of the Enterprise-E under a new captain, basically a new TNG; Star Trek: Dominion, a series set in the still mysterious Gamma Quadrant after the cataclysmic finale of Deep Space Nine; and Star Trek: To Boldy Go, a five year mission of exploration beyond the frontiers of the Federation). If Star Trek has taught me nothing else, it is that in the future, in the very idea of the future, there is hope.

Yes, Enkidu was Gilgamesh's bitch - he was constantly imperiled, he had to stand up for his much stronger but somewhat cowardly friend, and it was Enkidu who had to suffer the wrath of the gods for both his and Gilgamesh's transgressions - but it might have been worth it. When Enkidu was first civilized, he got to have sex with the hottie Shamhat for six days and seven nights. Booyah. You're the man, E.

It's alive! It's alive!
Like Frankenstein's monster, the Mousemobile lives. The problem was in not one component, but two, working in combination. Meine vater unexpectedly took the day off today and we tried his one last theory before having the car towed to a shop. He replaced the ignition control module and the Mousemobile roared to life. After this, we worked our way backward, first replacing the stock ignition coil with the aftermarket ignition coil that had been in the car since the initial ignition augmentation many years ago (1995? '96? somewhere around there). Curiously, the car would once again not start. So, we replaced the ignition coil with a new aftermarket coil and once again we had liftoff. So, it was not enough that we had replaced the ignition control module, nor enough that we'd replaced the ignition coil, the two systems were malfunctioning in conjunction; Dad suspects the bad coil may have blown out the ICM. We reconnected the rest of the augmented ignition system, reinstalled the aftermarket cental computer chip, put the dashboard back together, checked the oil (as the Mousemobile leaks oil like a sieve), and my beloved automobile is presently parked back where it belongs in the street in front of the house. As always, Mom's been agitating to get rid of it, but nuts to that kind of talk. The Mousemobile lives!

Figaro tomorrow. In nothing else, it will be nice to see the Mountain of Love and the object of his affection, the Bassoonatic. Culture, woo! Also, there is a chance I'll see Guy Zach Nie! and Sarah tomorrow for a film matinee. (Whenever I think about Zach and Sarah, the song in my head is, of course, Ben Folds's "Zak and Sara.")

Tomorrow, should I beware the Ides of November?

And now, just to strike fear into the hearts of you, my dear readers...
Retroactively Making Star Trek: Voyager Good, Part XV
Coming soon to a Secret Base of the Rebel Black Dot Society near you.

I am so very tired of compromise.
Well, the Space Pirates Project is dead. Should I use this forum to present my point of view or would that be inappropriately airing BTW's dirty laundry? Hmmmmmm.

Okay, many of us post on the BTW Forums; we discuss any number of issues from the Space Pirates Project to Star Wars to the current state of pop punk to girl trouble to Star Wars to Art Truck, the greatest video game of all time. All seemed well. Then, K. Steeze invited some of his non-BTW friends to join and within a day the situation was out of control. I love Steeze, he is one of my dearest friends, but the kid suffers from an absolute inability to differentiate asholes from princes; he likes everybody. Back on the Forums, Steeze's roommate Ash, hereafter referred to as Ass, began posting some truly idiotic statements. (I suspect Ass is an Epsilon; he spells hating as "hateing.") I objected. He persisted. Every man is entitled to his opinion, but that does not mean I have to listen to the clap-trap of every passing fool. The BTW Forums are a place for the Blue Tree Whacking gang, the BTW in BTW Forums, to swap ideas, insults, and mindless prattle. Ass is not a member of BTW, nor any manner of auxiliary or hanger-on. I enjoy the Forums far too much to see them trivilaized by some brutish twit just because he happens to room with my friend. I am a believer in the radical solution; so, I offered an ultimatum: either Ass is ejected or I walk. Please note that I never claimed to be a reasonable man.

And now for something completely different.
The winds last night? They were wicked. My room has two exterior walls and I was treated to some truly unique sounds.

"They invade our space and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds and we fall back. No more. The line must be drawn here! This far and no farther!"
--Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: First Contact (written by Ronald D. Moore and Brannon Braga)

Today was soooo boring, but once again my incredibly talent for self-amusement held me in good stead. It was once remarked that were I locked in a plain white room for hours on end with only a single toothpick, I could keep myself fully amused. To which I replied, "Why would I need a toothpick?"

"Move to Bremerton, we'll hang out,
Move to Bremerton, we'll go all out,
Move to Bremerton, will you be mine?"
--MxPx, "Move to Bremerton" from Life in General

Now if you excuse me, I don't have to go to work tomorrow; so, I'm going to watch Deep Space Nine into the wee hours.

I wrote, "Mike Wilson: Bizarrely Honest or Honestly Bizarre?" Skeeter circled the second, bless her heart.

A Lot of Whining
My brother once said (actually, he has said this several times), "Being The Last Angry Man means never having to say you're sorry." Oh, how I wish that were true. In reality, being The Last Angry Man means making one never-ending series of apologies, because I am both a fucking jerk and not a bad guy. I say and do these horrible things, but then I feel bad about them. I didn't do anything specifically, I've just meant to post this for a long time.

I guess right now I just feel like I've given up on myself. Or maybe it is just that tomorrow is going to be a really bad day. Or that Dan the Man called tonight and I didn't bother to call him back, even though he is probably my only friend left in Grand Blanc. I've known him since we were both two, it seems fitting we should end up as losers together. (For you trivia fans out there, I was born fourteen days after him.)

Maybe I just miss Never Girl. We haven't spoken in three weeks. Why? Because it's her turn to call. Childish? Yes, but I called twice in a row and am entirely comfortable with being childish about this.

Maybe I'm just depressed because I watched "His Way" and now I'm indulging in self-pity. Boo hoo hoo, woe is me.

"I used to work in a record store,
Now I work for my dad,
Scraping the paint off of hard wood floors,
The hours are pretty bad."
--Fountains of Wayne, "Hackensack" from Welcome Interstate Managers

Maybe I'm just frustrated and angry with myself because I have so much potential and I'm fucking squandering it.

Maybe I just wish the cat would shut the fuck up. Sam, there are three things I can do for you: I can pet you, I can feed you, and I can let you go outside. I can't pet you if you walk away from me, you have food, and there it a winter storm advisory tonight; so, you aren't going outside.

Maybe I think the best days of my life are behind me, or maybe I'm just using that as a fucking excuse.

Maybe nothing's sacred.

Or mayb I'm just using that as a fucking excuse.

Maybe I'm happy when I think about the old days at Ottawa Hills Cabana Club and the time I freaked everybody out by spelling out in rocks DEATH. Oddly enough, everybody was fine with it the next day when I finished spelling out DEATH IS A GIRL. Why the hell is that okay if DEATH wasn't? What the...?

Maybe I've been more lucky in this life than any man has a right to be and I just need to take a moment to sit back and realize that.

Maybe all the world is my oyster.

Maybe love is a lie.

Maybe I should take the advice of my prophet, Denis Leary, and "Shut the fuck up!"

Maybe I should try to have an original fucking idea, you hack.

Or as I've said for years, you don't need are original idea, you can do what's been done before as long as you do it well.

I should go to Ann Arbor and just walk around. Go to Sam's Store, where they specialize in Chuck Taylors, Swiss Army Knives, Hawai'ian shirts, and Levi's jeans.

Maybe I've never had a girlfriend, but I want to get married.

Maybe I'm tired of all the lies.

Maybe nothing would make me happier than to be found out. Or maybe that's just another excuse.

Maybe I just feel bad about skipping Mass week after week after week.

Maybe fake breasts aren't as bad as I've said all along. Naw, I was right, fake boobs suck.

I know I made the right decision about ending my relationship with Q-Girl before it got off the ground because all these months later, the only thing I miss about her is her boobs. (In light of the previous line, I feel I should add they were real.) Boobies!

We all get our comeuppance. It may be tomorrow, it might take a lifetime, but in the end we each of us get our comeuppance. Not to be predicable, but that's going to be one really shitty day.

Maybe I stay up so late because I know that as soon as I fall asleep, I'm just going to have to face tomorrow. I fear the future; I had fun today, I felt comfortable in today. Bog knows what fiascos await me in tomorrow.

Maybe I just wish I wasn't afraid all the time.

Maybe I'm fishing for compliments and I thought that might elicit sympathy.

"I'm gonna to get my shit together,
'Cause I can't live like this forever,
You know I've come too far,
And I don't want to fail,
I've got a new computer
And a bright future in sales."
--Fountains of Wayne, "Bright Future in Sales" from Welcome Interstate Mangers, the soundtrack for this crappy post

The three best words in the English language are not "I love you," but "Science run amok."

Breakfast for dining is cooking downstairs; there are certain advantages to living at home.

Tomorrow, trial by boredom. Friday, freedom. Saturday, the marathon that is The Marriage of Figaro; the plot, dear reader, is insultingly convoluted.

My Own Private Star Trek
U.S.S. Warspite NCC-76282
U.S.S. Seawolf NCC-76197

"I love you Marge. I'd die for you. I'd kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you."

My Own Private Star Trek
U.S.S. Seawolf NCC-75999 (Defiant-class)
(partial senior staff)
Captain Pethlo Mentar - Commanding Officer
Lieutenant Shrek - Executive Officer
(Vulcan? engineer)
Lieutenant Lurin Raza - Tactical Officer/Chief of Security
Lieutenant (junior grade) Lani Rao - Operation Officer/Conn Officer
(Bolian security officer)
Ensign Solon - Science Officer
(doctor)

U.S.S. Warspite NCC-76704 (Sovereign-class)

The theme of the day: I think I would kill a man if Liz Phair asked me to. Is that wrong?

Armistice Day
I mean no disrespect to America's veterans, and I honor both the dead and the living on Memorial Day, but I acknowledge today as Armistice Day, not Veterans Day. As Kurt Vonnegut said, "Armistice Day was sacred, Veterans Day is not." At the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of anno domini 1918, the Great War was over.

"Dulce Et Decorum Est"
Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs,
And towards our distant rear began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.

Gas! GAS! Quick, boys!---An ecstacy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime.---
Dim through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams before my helpless sight
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin,
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs
Bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,---
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.
--Wilfred Owen (1893-1918), who died in combat two weeks before the end of the war

Pernicious Malaise - An AIM Sample
Me: Hey, Skeeter. I'm bored with everything. Any ideas?
Skeeter: move.
Me: Cool. Thanks!
Skeeter: :)
Skeeter: drink more?
Me: Naw, I'm trying to get less fat.
Me: Plus, as they say on Star Trek, "No effect."
Skeeter: train for the marathon:?
Me: I like it!
Me: Except for the running part.
Me: I'm sure I could walk 26 miles without incident.
Skeeter: there you go.
Skeeter: or you could do the driving marathon
Me: Le Mons?
Me: That would rule!

Then she signed off, because no one loves me and I have no friends.

Bright Future in Sales
I trimmed my sideburns so that they no longer go lower than my earlobes; I also shaved off my imperial. I feel like such a tool. Also, woke up at 7:30 this morning. That was different.

As long as I'm quoting Fountains of Wayne, and thus thinking about Fountains of Wayne, sweet merciful crap, Rachel Hunter looks amazing in the "Stacy's Mom" video!

A Time to Stand
The DVD boxset of the sixth season of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine arrived this weekend. God bless you, Ira Steven Behr.

We've taken apart and put back together the carburator. We've installed new spark plugs. We've returned the car to stock, in case the problem was in the aftermarket ignition system. We've reinstalled the original control chip in the computer. We've charged and recharged the battery, and it isn't the problem. We've checked the timing as much as we can without getting the engine running. We're going to disassemble the carburator again, because my dad has a new idea. And still the Mousemobile sits, an immobile mobile.

I'm beginning to think this is a metaphor for my life. People try to figure out the problem and get it moving, but no matter what they do it just sits there, useless. Don't mind me, I'm just bitter because this entire past week, I've been stuck in the house. Via the telephone, the mail, and ye olde Internet, I've been able to continue my job serach largely as before, but it is incredibly demoralizing to know you couldn't leave the house even if you had somewhere to go.

Two Comments on College Football
This afternoon, Oklahoma defeated Texas A&M 77-0. About that, let me say this: Fuck Bob Stoops. Yes, A&M sucks, but there is no reason under the Sun to run up the score like that. This morning, I did not have an opinion about Stoops, but now I hold in the same kind of contempt as Steve Spurrier; it is disgraceful to humiliate an opponent in that fashion. I wish Stoops a slow, agonizing death, alone and terrified, beyond hope, beyond prayer.

The nice thing about whenever Ohio State and Michigan State play each other is that no matter the result, a team I hate loses.

Everything Old is New Again... Again
Humans - "Broken Bow, Part I" et al.
Vulcans - "Broken Bow, Part I" et al.
Klingons - "Broken Bow, Part I," "Unexpected," "Sleeping Dogs," "Judgment," "Bounty," "The Expanse"
Andorians - "The Andorian Incident," "Shadows of P'Jem," "Cease Fire"
Ferengi - "Acquisition"
Romulans - "Minefield," mentioned in "Shockwave, Part II," "Dead Stop"
Tholians - "Future Tense," mentioned in "Broken Bow, Part I"
Borg - "Regeneration"
Tellarites - "Bounty," mentioned in "Dead Stop"
and now...
Nausicaans - "Fortunate Son" (TNG, "Tapestry")

The season to date...
"The Xindi"
"Anomaly"
"Extinction"
"Raijin"
"Impulse"
"Exile"
"The Shipment"
"Twilight"
I'm anxious about where this extended Xindi stroy arc is going, but as I very much enjoyed the first two seasons of Enterprise (before it was retitled Star Trek: Enterprise), I am cautiously optimistic. Plus, Scott Bakula!

The Many Faces of Jeffrey Combs
{Recurring}
Weyoun (Vorta) - Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "To the Death," et al.
Liquidator Brunt (Ferengi) - Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Family Business," et al.
Commander Shran (Andorian) - Star Trek: Enterprise "The Andorian Incident," et al.
{Single Serving}
sleazy alien (species unknown) - Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Meridian"
Krem (Ferengi) - Star Trek: Enterprise "Acquisition"
alien fight promoter (species unknown) - Star Trek: Voyager "Tsunkatse"

My Own Private Star Trek
U.S.S. Warspite NCC-76704
Captain J. A. Seneca - Commanding Officer
Commander Portia Matthews - Executive Officer
Lieutenant Commander Parker Wolfe - Tactical Officer/Chief of Security
Lieutenant Commander Valeria Wolfe - Operations Officer
Commander Grev - Chief Engineering Officer
Dr. (Lieutenant) Elisabeth Chang - Chief Medical Officer
Lieutenant Isabella Machiavelli - Counselor
Lieutenant T'Por Nemcova - Conn Officer
Lieutenant Alidar Corin - Assistant Chief of Security
Ensign Willie Suh - Security Officer

Star Trek: Enterprise
"Broken Bow, Parts I and II" - "Shockwave, Part I"
"Shockwave, Part II" - "The Expanse"
"The Xindi" - (to date) "Twilight"

Everything Old is New Again
Humans - "Broken Bow, Part I" (ST, "The Cage")
Vulcans - "Broken Bow, Part I" (ST, "The Cage")
Klingons - "Broken Bow, Part I" (ST, "Errand of Mercy")
Andorians - "The Andorian Incident" (ST, "Journey to Babel")
Ferengi (name unknown) - "Acquisition" (TNG, "The Last Outpost")
Romulans - "Minefield" (ST, "Balance of Terror")
Tholians - "Future Tense" (ST, "The Tholian Web")*
Borg (name unknown) - "Regeneration" (TNG, "Q Who?")
Tellarites - "Bounty" (ST, "Journey to Babel")*

*it is worth remarking that though both the Tholians and the Tellarites have been referred to, prior to ST:E neither had actually been on screen since the original Star Trek

Also worth mentioning is the prequel paradox. The two main adversaries on Star Trek: Enterprise are the Suliban and the Xindi; because Enterprise is the latest series, obviously neither of them has ever been featured on any of the previously produced, though later in continuity, series. This, to my mind, poses a bit of a problem. We've seen the Vulcans on Enterprise, but also later in Kirk's 23rd century and Picard's 24th. The Romulans are a threat in Enterprise's 22nd century, as well as to the 23rd and 24th; the same is true of the Klingons. The Suliban and the Xindi are terrifying enemies for Captain Archer and the crew of the NX-01, but they pose no danger to later generations. I love Enterprise, but I have to admit this nags at me.

***ZACH NIE! SPOILER ALERT***
The U.S.S. Warspite and the U.S.S. Seawolf, Captain J.A. Seneca and Captain Pethlo Mentar commanding, respectively. (In my own little Star Trek universe, the Warspite is the third Sovereign-class starship, after the Sovereign and the Enterprise-E; the Seawolf is one of the handful of Defiant-class ships we saw throughout the Dominion War.) Captain Seneca is a human, based on Yaphet Kotto's character from Homicide. Pethlo Mentar is a non-Federation citizen, a member of a species of my own invention, the Pic (yes, named after the ancient Caledonian Picts).

Wolfe or Churchill?

***ZACH NIE! SPOILER ALERT***
Star Trek: Enterprise
Enterprise NX-01
Captain Jonathan Archer - Commanding Officer
"Sub-Commander" T'Pol - Executive Officer/Science Officer
Commander Charles Tucker - Chief Engineer
Lieutenant Malcolm Reed - Armory Officer
Engisn Hoshi Sato - Communications Officer
Ensign Travis Mayweather - Helmsman
Doctor Phlox - Medical Officer

Star Trek
U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701
Captain James T. Kirk - Commanding Officer
Commander Spock - Executive Officer/Science Officer
Dr. (Lieutenant Commander) Leonard "Bones" McCoy - Chief Medical Officer
Commander Montgomery Scott - Chief Engineering Officer
Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu - Navigator
Lieutenant Uhura - Communications Officer
Ensign Pavel Chekov - Helmsman

Star Trek: The Next Generation
U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D
Captain Jean-Luc Picard - Commanding Officer
Commander William Riker - Executive Officer
Lieutenant Commander Data - Operations Officer
Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge - Chief Engineering Officer
Dr. (Commander) Beverly Crusher - Chief Medical Officer
Lieutenant Commander Deanna Troi - Counselor
Lieutenant Worf - Tactical Officer/Chief of Security
Ensign Wesley Crusher - Conn Officer
Dr. (Commander) Katherine Pulaski - Chief Medical Officer
(Lieutenant Natasha Yar - Tactical Officer/Chief of Security)

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Starbase Deep Space 9/U.S.S. Defiant NX-74205
Captain Benjamin Sisko - Commanding Officer
Colonel Kira Nerys - Executive Officer/Bajoran Liaison
Lieutenant Commander Worf - Strategic Operations Officer
Dr. (Lieutenant) Julian Bashir - Chief Medical Officer
Chief Petty Officer Miles O'Brien - Chief of Operations
Odo - Chief of Security
Lieutenant (junior grade) Ezri Dax - Counselor
Quark - owner, Quark's Bar and Casino
Jake Sisko
(Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax - Science Officer)

I started typing out the cast for Star Trek: Voyager, for completeness's sake, but then thought better of it. Like Star Trek V, it is a part of Star Trek history and must not be ignored, lest we not learn from our mistakes, but for today, I'm happy and not worried about the future of my beloved franchise; so, why ruin my good humor? Thus...

Star Trek: Odyssey
U.S.S. Ulysses NCC-74297
Captain Elisabeth McKenna - Commanding Officer
Commander Benicio Torres - Executive Officer
Lieutenant Commander Sovok - Tactical Officer/Chief of Security
Liuetenant Commander K'rena Singh - Chief Engineering Officer
Lieutenant Nick Locarno - Conn Officer
Lieutenant Daniel Kim - Operations Officer
Emergency Medical Hologram "Doc" - Chief Medical Officer
Doctor Kes - Medical Officer
Lieutenant (junior grade) Neelix - Security Officer

As for what comes after Enterprise, I think the two best ideas would be either Star Trek: Federation, a show set immediately after Enterprise, exploring the 22nd century, the early days of the United Federation of Planets, and the aftermath of the Earth-Romulan War, or Star Trek: New Frontier, a show set aboard the Enterprise-E or -F in the very late 24th century, fifteen or twenty five years after the Dominion War.

Last night, I showed Guy Zach Nie "The Trouble With Tribbles." Soon he'll encounter "Trials and Tribble-ations." Excellent.

Captain Yesterday. Clobberella. Super King. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

RX-78GP01 Gundam or RX-79[G] Gundam? Hmmm. The GP01 is slick, but I've got to go with the 79[G] as the mobile suit I'd want for slogging it out with an MS-14 Gelgoog. Would I want the RX-79[G] Ez8 modification? Don't mind if I do.

"It's four in the morning,
I'm tired as hell,
What am I doing
Behind the wheel?"
--The Hippos, "Asleep at the Wheel" from Forget the World

Actually, it is closer to five in the morning and I cannot sleep. I've been reading all night, but I can only read so much of The Myth of the Great War before I am overwhelmed by dispair over the tragedy of it all. A generation of young men slaughtered for no reason beyond the stupidity of their superiors, an entire continent left exhausted and ripe for the larger war that would follow. Germany lost everything; the supposed victors, Great Britain and France, gave to succeeding generations the gift of Nazi Germany. Imagine how different the world would have been had the American Expeditionary Force not saved the Allies from the German Summer Offensive of 1918. Reparations, the Weimar Republic, the Holocaust, none of it would have happened if we hadn't "saved" the liberal democracies from the "Huns." As we marched headlong into Hell, our only consolation was that we had had only the best of intentions....

The Franco-Prussian War, the Great War, six million dead because they were Juden... that hindsight in 20/20 is surely one of God's cruelest jokes.

Want to know how bad Family Guy is? Family Guy is so bad I'd rather watch Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, and I fucking loathe Colin Quinn.

{Green Army Bag}
Man, my green army bag is awesome. A veteran of nine years on campaign, the green army bag has finally been retired like the old soldier he is. Now, as a memorial to that brave fellow, I offer you a selection of quotes from the green army bag.

"'You and your whole degenerate lifestyle will burn in the flames of Allah!' -(Skeeter)"

"Long Live the Revolution"

"'I am the lone locust of the apocalypse. Think of me when you look to the night sky.' -Zorak"

"All Hail Peter Sellers!"

"'You know what I want you to do? I want you to go upstairs to that apartment where that guy keeps playing that Barry Manilow record "Copa Cabana" over and over and over again. I want you to ring the doorbell and when he answers the door, I want you to stab him in the neck with a No. 2 pencil over and over and over again, because he must PAAAAAY!!! Chop him up and put him in the freezer and as you leave the apartment, light the place on fire!' -Denis Leary"

"Prepare the die, Earth scum!"

"Mr. Riek's Atomic Cheesecoopers!"

"I condemn the whole bloody lot of you to the fiery depths of Hades"

"Duffy: Kill it before it breeds."

"Bob Dole hates carrots! Bob Dole will scream unless he gets a cookie!! Don't spank Bob Dole!!"

"Look Moltar, I am green with E-vil."

"Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."

"All hail Dead Mel! !Viva Mel!"

"Avt Pax; Avt Bellvm - Wilson"

"Anarchists of the world... UNITE!"

"'The World Turned Upside Down' -The British at Yorktown, 1781"

and of course

"The Rebel Black Dot Society"

When the Revolution comes, my army of genetically-engineered Klugmen will impose my will upon Mankind. Is that wrong? People keep asking me when the Revolution will begin, and I keep asking them if they know any geneticists capable of creating an army of super-strong, combat-savvy, fanatically loyal soldiers, all with the head of Jack Klugman. They invariabley say no. Well, there you go. Without my Klugmen, it will kind of be impossible to overthrow society as we know it and begin putting people up against the wall.

But when the Revolution does come, man, a lot of you are in a heap of trouble. Bon Jovi, I'm looking at you.

I hate it when my mom sleeps downstairs. (To be fair, I also hate it when my dad sleeps downstairs.) What, it's too much fucking trouble to drag yourself upstairs? Thanks, now the whole floor of the house is cut off. Why in Bog's name would anyone want to voluntarily sleep on a couch? It's a couch! You have a ginormous king-sized bed upstairs! With, you know, sheets and fucking pillows! Ahh, don't mind me, I'm just bitter about being de facto exiled upstairs... where I have to keep the volume down on my stereo because Dad is sleeping in the giant bed. *grumble grumble*

In a little while, I plan to watch the new Masterpiece Theatre version of Doctor Zhivago, almost entirely because of Keira Knightley. Is that wrong?

The Mousemobile is sick. For an unknown reason, it is quite difficult to get her to start when cold, yet once warmed up, she starts up right away (drive for an hour, park for half an hour, she starts like a dream); we disassebmled the carburator and right now we're charging the battery, but neither of these things seems to be the cause. We are working under a tarp in the driveway because our garage is unusable. It is in such a sorry state because of the Camero. For three years, my dad's beloved '86 IROC-Z has been up on blocks while he replaces the engine. I do not have any real objections to the new engine (even though it cost about $2,000 more than I had to borrow in the form of student loans), but I do object to the three fucking years. My mom has to park her car in the driveway year round, even in Winter's bitter cold; presently, we are working under a leaky tarp instead of in the dry garage; and he hasn't touched the Camero since September. Motherfucker.

I don't like working on the Mousemobile, but I acknowledge that she is a seventeen year-old p.o.s. and thus, these sorts of things are to be expected. But to have to work on my car in the rain under a tarp, all because my dad spent my college money on an engine he's too lazy to even install, well, I have tried and failed to find the words to adequately describe my anger and indignation.

Chris Perry is a football god. The man could barely stand up after each run, yet the very next play, he'd get the ball and then slash and fight for every last yard, for every last inch. Not just because my team prevailed, it was one of the most glorious events I have ever seen in sports. Today, he was the best Mankind has to offer.