While the Mountain of Love and I are using our apartment complex's generously named "exercise room," we watch television, usually Pardon the Interruption followed by Seinfeld. During my generously named "run" today, I saw a commercial for the new film School for Scoundrels. One of the two above-the-title stars is Jon Heder, the douchebag who starred in a truly wretched independent film called Napoleon Dynamite. I remarked, "I'd like to see something bad happen to him. Something along the lines of a substance abuse problem." Thing is, I really meant it. I then paused for a moment and considered the moral ramifications. I'm just not a good person. I'm not Pol Pot or Richard J. Daley, but neither am I Fred Rogers. This is far from the first time I've made the observation that I'm kind of a monster, nor will it be the last, but every once in a while that lurking realization pushes its way to the front of my mind. Well, how about that?

And all that said, if Jon Heder ended up a homeless crackhead, I would laugh and laugh and laugh and not feel the slighted twinge of sympathy. I'd almost certainly feel guilty about my lack of sympathy, but that lack would doubtlessly persist. I really hate that guy.