Saturday, October 7, 2006

The Victors
Just before the start of today's contest between the mighty University of Michigan Wolverines and the dastardly Michigan State University Spartans, The Guy called the Mountain of Love with a prediction: Michigan State would win the game. The Guy is a 2006 graduate of U of M-Flint; this is not the University of Michigan, but it is a University of Michigan. How could any U of M alumnus predict victory for the treacherous Spartans? Predicting victory for the nefarious Spartans and being desirous of same are two disparate things, to be sure, but still I feel as if The Guy has committed an act of heinous disloyalty. I, and a good many of my fellow alumni, fear the power of the odious Ohio State University Buckeyes under the fiendish Jim Tressel, but I could not in good conscience predict a victory for the hated Buckeyes. Has The Guy perpetrated a breach of faith? Did he bow to the considerable influence of The Gal, herself an MSU alumna? I have no answers, my friends, only a disquieting sense of uncertainty.

Truth be told, I was supremely confident before today's contest. True, the vile Spartans had not defeated the noble Wolverines since the "phantom second" debacle (a.k.a. Clockgate) in 2001; so, from a historical perspective MSU was "due" for a win. And after embarrassing loses to the despicable University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish and the unobjectionable University of Illinois Fighting Illini, the foul Spartans would certainly be playing with a ferocious determination to redeem themselves. But, we are talking about the pea-brained Spartans here, the greatest innovators of self-annihilation to have ever graced the fields of American collegiate football. I was confident Michigan would prevail, if not by the virtue of her own skill then by the dogged ineptitude of Michigan State.

Still, as often happens against Michigan State, I was not elated by the victory. There are few accolades to be won in triumphing over the hapless Spartans. Really, teh U of M-MSU game is a no-win situation for Michigan. If we win, big deal, we're supposed to be able to beat them; and if they win, sweet merciful crap, every idiot in green and white will be reminding you of the game at every opporutnity over the course of the whole year until the next game. At the end of games against Michigan State, I am primarily just glad that the wretched task is over for another year, that the helots have been put back in their place. No one wins when Michigan State is involved, regardless of the victor, the question is simply one of who loses the most. But, I am glad the wretched task has been completed for another year, it warms my heart to know the helots have been reminded of their place.

Victory for MSU? *scoff* Not bloody likely.

BTW South Song of the Day
Amanda Abizaid, "A Place in Time" via ye olde internet (Mt. Love)

"A Place in Time" is the theme song of the superb television series The 4400.

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