All Saints Day
Why is it that all the English saints of whom I'm aware are martyrs? Saint Thomas Becket, d. 1170, was murdered (martyred) for defending Church property and privilege against King Henry II. Saint Thomas More, d. 1535, was executed (martyred) for refusing to acclaim King Henry VIII as possessing chief authority over the Church of England, above and beyond the Bishop of Rome. Saint Edmund Campion, d. 1581, and Saint Henry Walpole, d. 1595, were both executed (martyred) for the heinous crime of being Catholic priests in Queen Elizabeth I's fanatically Protestant police state, the latter inspired by the former's ministry. (Golden Age, my arse.)

And since we are so close to Guy Fawkes Night (a holiday much beloved by our own The Guy), the anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot, it seems appropriate to look after the case of Guy Fawkes himself. Yes, yes, had the Gunpowder Plot succeeded hundreds would have been killed and it cannot be described as anything other than an act of attempted terrorism, but it would have been terrorism carried out in the name of the genuinely oppressed Catholics of England. And Fawkes was put to death for his part in the scheme. So, even though he aspired to be a mass murderer, Fawkes did die "for" Holy Mother Church, which makes him a martyr, which makes him a saint, yes? I don't know, because even though His Holiness the late Pope John Paul II DOUBLED the number of Catholic saints, surely in the two millennia since the founding of the Roman Catholic Church a great many of the faithful have died for the Church without receiving recognition as martyred saints. And, not having wanted to kill hundreds by blowing up the Palace of Westminster, surely many of them lived better Christian lives than did old Guy Fawkes. It's a pickle.

Fortunately, it really isn't that much of a pickle. As a traitor to the Crown, Fawkes was to be hanged, drawn, and quartered. (Remember the end of Braveheart? That's the general idea.) Understandably not wanting to endure the whole course, Fawkes threw himself from the gallows, breaking his neck with the rope that was only supposed to cause him great pain. And as we all know, suicide is a mortal sin; so, to this day and for every day for all eternity, Guido Fawkes is burning in the fames of Perdition. Had he not killed himself, would he have passed muster as a martyr? More learned men than I would need to weigh in on the issue. Saint Guy Fawkes? Perish the thought.

The Stars My Destination
More goodies on the year after next's Hubble mission: science!

Vote For Kodos
I would be beside myself with joy were Senator Kerry to make a serious run at the Democratic presidential nomination on '08. Pretty please with sugar on top? Obviously, this is not as bad as when he compared American soldiers to Genghis Khan or Senator Durban called our boys "Nazis" and "Soviets," but Kerry makes it so very easy to reinterpret his words to one's own advantage: what a jerk.