Honolulu Blue Forever
I am glad we lost yesterday's game against the 49ers. Have I suddenly turned traitor? Nay, good readers, I simply enjoy seeing jerks get their comeuppance. After the Lions' victory over the Falcons, all sorts of crazy talk came out of the mouths of both the Lions and their many long-suffering fans. During the interregnum of the bye week, Roy "Not the Good Roy Williams" Williams spoke some madness about the Lions finishing the season 9-0, but that's just Not the Good Roy Williams being Not the Good Roy Williams. Others looked forward to a bonus week of rest and recuperation before three consecutive games against "weak" opponents, the 49ers, the Arizona Cardinals, and Joey Harrington's Miami Dolphins. Going into this weekend, all three teams had records very similar to Detroit's, but the assumption by the team, the press, and the faithful was that the Falcon-slaying Lions were better than their record reflected and on the cusp of greatness. Not mediocrity, which would be a step up from where the Lions have dwelt under Matt Millen's "leadership," but greatness. The Free Press's Nicholas J. Cotsonika, whose writing I rememberly fondly from The Michigan Daily, boldly predicted a 41-20 Lions victory. He was right about the 49ers, they scored 19 points. The Lions, however, mustered a mere 13. (Another perfect day for Jason Hanson!)

What in the name of all that is good and holy was the source of that impudence, that unadulterated gall? The Lions suck! Had they failed to notice this inconvenient fact? Even if the 2006 Lions are not to be shackled with the 21-59 record of the 2001-05 predecessors, the "new and improved" Lions of the Marinelli-Martz regime have posted a paltry 2-7 record, an unimpressive 2-6 prior to Sunday's contest! The players insist that theirs is a good team, that they are a good team despite of what has been exhibited on the field, but, I ask you, what possible rationale could be behind such nonsense? You were 2-6 before the game, you dunderheads, 2-7 afterwards! YOU AREN'T A GOOD TEAM!

Thus, Sunday's loss brought a smile to my face. Sadly, I am certain even a final record of 2-14 would not result in Millen's dismissal, and as the man so clearly lacks a sense of honor he won't resign, but there must come surely a point at which even the reviled William Clay Ford, Sr. will awaken to his lackey's obvious incompetence. I cling to the admittedly forlorn hope that every Lions defeat cannot help but speed the arrival of that distant day. As I learned from Babylon 5, in the absence of hope one must foster the hope that there is hope.

I would laugh in the Lions found a way to lose to the Arizona cardinals, one of the few teams in the No Fun League to rival Detroit's knack for snatching defeat from teh jaws of victory. As for the Thanksgiving Day game, Joey Harrington will never be Dan Marino, but he was unfairly burdened with far too much of the blame for the team's abysmal record while he played for the Lions. Blamed in excess by the fans, by the jackals in the media, and, surprisingly, by his own inept teammates, who violated the NFL's usual coade of solidarity. I despise Florida, but I want Miami to beat Detroit on Thanksgiving, I want Harrington to taste the sweet nectar of revenge. Hooray for Joey!

Forgive me for having nothing even remotely original to say, but catharsis was desperately needed.

Crime Blotter
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