"A short skirt.
A Gimmes shirt.
A Jones Soda.
Ain't life grand?"

The allure of a short skirt on a member of the fairer sex is self-evident. I still love both Me First and the Gimme Gimmes and the single Gimme Gimmes T-shirt I own. But Jones Soda has never tasted the same since high fructose corn syrup was kicked to the curb in favor of "pure cane sugar." The mirth and mesmerism of Jones has been overthrown. For all that and even so, is not life still grand? The grandest adventure in God's Creation, buckaroos, the grandest.

And the declaration still stands, should I ever spy a girl wearing a short skirt and a Gimmes shirt and drinking a Jones Soda I'll ask for her hand in marriage on the spot. And if she assents, I'll marry her, 'til death do us part.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Puppini Sisters, "Bei Mir Bist Du Schön" from Betcha Bottom Dollar (T.L.A.M.)