Project MERCATOR
To-night, Red Patton defends his unofficial title as "King Tot" in Bar Louie's annual tater tot eating contest. Many tater tots will be eaten, many tater tot will be thrown back up, 'tis hoped out of sight, out of hearing, & out of scent. Why cheer on a friend as he does something so pointless, so infantile? If you have to ask, you'll never know.

Autobahn
I've never liked the retro-styled eleventh generation Ford Thunderbird, but yesterday I spied the best-looking example of my experience. 'Twas painted a whitish cream with a broad red stripe running the length of the vehicle, from bumper to bumper. This was not enough to overcome to bug-eyed, port-holed T-bird's deficiencies, but it was less uglier-the-sin than the rest of its ilk.

On the same drive, I saw a Buick Rendezvous with the vanity license plate EXOTICL. I presume this is meant to be read "Exotic L," possibly a reference to its owner? I presume this because "exotical" isn't a word. The vanity plate is well named, as all is vanity, & most are unfortunate.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Proclaimers, "I Know" from Notes & Rhymes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: An anti-war to which I was listening last night as I prepared the latest episode of "The Explorers' Club." I found it amusingly subversive to do so. I find fault principally in the bridge. Does it say anything about me that I often enjoy listening to music with which I disagree? Am I broadminded or just pudding-headed? Perhaps it says nothing at all. The crack against patriotism is particularly galling, since The Proclaimers have written more than a few songs about Scotland that could only be described as patriotic. Rank hypocrisy is par for the course.

"You'd lay your life down for this country,
Lay it down for fools like me,
I know, I know, I know you would,
You'd make the ultimate sacrifice,
Lose yourself on the throw of a dice
I know, I know, I know you would—

"'Cause the line you come from stretches back
In an unbroken chain other countries lack,
Every single corner of the world
Has seen our banners be unfurled,
You've won and lost and battled on
Whether the cause was right or wrong,
God knows what you do to the enemy,
'Cause you scare the living hell out of me.

"He'd lay his life down for his country,
He'd like to kill fools like me,
I know, I know, I know he would,
He'd make the ultimate sacrifice,
Blow himself to Paradise,
I know, I know, I know he would.

"And the line he comes from stretches back
In an unbroken chain other countries lack,
To the farthest corners of the world
Where they watched our banners be unfurled,
He's won and lost and bottled on
Whether his cause was right or wrong,
He's this generation's enemy
And he scares the living hell out of me.

"No more war, it's not gonna happen,
Not while there's men willing to fight in 'em,
No more war, it's not gonna happen,
Not while there's patriotism,
Not while there's patriotism,
No more war, it's not gonna happen,
Not while there's some saying
That this is the last one,
No more war, it's not gonna happen,
Not while religious nuts
Are willing to spill there guts.

"And the line we come from stretches back
In an unbroken chain no country lacks,
To the darkest corner of a cave
Where there's a weapon made to save,
Or gouge or choke or cut or kill,
In a hundred years we'll be fighting still,
I know, I know, I know we will."