Project PANDORA

The following exchange occurred yesterday. Following the exchange, a few conclusions.

Corpulent Trollop (3:20 P.M.): "Hey you seem interesting... I like that you're into writing and traveling. Do you want to chat sometime?"

T.L.A.M. (6:57 P.M.): "Ahoy, (Corpulent Trollop's user name), / Thanks for writing, & I would indeed like to chat sometime. Two caveats you may wish to consider: Fiction, in which your profile says you have little interest, is the kind of writing in which I trying to succeed. Also, though I loathe the ignorant self-righteousness of the "Tea Party," on ye olde American political spectrum I would be considered conservative, hewing to Edmund Burke's point that change is not always for the better. Should these concerns trump my bulk & my beard, I shall bear no ill will but instead wish you well in your continued pursuits; should my bulk & my beard carry the day, hello, how are you on this fine autumnal day? / Mike"

Corpulent Trollop (9:13 P.M.): "Hey Mike, I think you're sexy but I don't date conservative folks. Sorry we couldn't connect."

One, her profile indicates that the corpulent trollop is a chubby-chaser. Ewww. I'm a man, an individual human being possessed of dignity & worthy of respect, not a piece of meat. At least one of us thought the other was sexy, because her photographs revealed her to be not just corpulent but more than vaguely porcine. (If she didn't want to be judged as a piece of meat—gluttonously ample meat—she should not have started that game.)

Two, even the most cursory of examinations of the questions I've answered on the website indicate my right-wing politics & personal conservatism; this would have been easy for her to find on her own if she hadn't been blinded by fatty fat fat lust. This is the second time in my usage of this particular dating website (which was recommended to me by an acquaintance, in a good-natured but inept bid to alleviate my singleness) that a girl has nipped a discourse in the bud, citing conflicting political philosophies. Now, I'm not claiming that a compatible worldview is not a vital component of a lasting affair, & this might well lead to a good deal of convergence on political issues. But these incident are excellent illustrations of why I prefer to term "left-wing" to "liberal" when describing those who adhere to the Democratic Party & those who think the Democrats are not social-democratic enough. There is nothing liberal about refusing to converse with someone because of conflicting political beliefs. From Merriam-Webster's definition of the term.

liberal, adj.… not narrow in opinion or judgment: tolerant

There is nothing "liberal" about the conformity & intolerance of the American Left. Now, these are just two girls, hardly representative of left-wing thought in the United States, but they are emblematic of myriad other encounters & observations gleaned over the years, as a strain of this country's politics, while giving lip service to "openness" & "diversity," is increasingly strident & shrill in insisting on a very narrow & self-contradictory orthodoxy. One is reminded of film critic Pauline Kael's reaction to President Nixon's landslide re-election in '72, usually paraphrased as: "How could Nixon have won? I don't know anybody who voted for him."

Three, 'tis the corpulent trollop's loss.