The Victors

(№ 11) Michigan 28-24 Akron
3-0, Big Ten 0-0

Let there be no doubt that the valiant Wolverines were outplayed in every phase of the game—offense, defense, & special teams—& that the coaches were outfoxed by their counterparts at the helm of the epithetless Zips. Akron's offense adjusted to the valiant Wolverines' rightly vaunted defense, making Defensive Co-ordinator Greg Mattison looks quite the fool. Offensive Co-ordinator Al Borgas looked even more inept than usual, directing a passing attack that was almost as likely to produce interceptions as receptions & a ground game that was kneecapped by holding penalties. Between the missed field goal & the terrible punts, Michigan's special teams looked anything but special. Let us hope that this is far & away the nadir of quarterback Devin Gardner's career, because the hapless nincompoop I saw to-day will get eaten alive in the midst of Big Ten conference play. Gardner threw three interceptions, each uglier than the last, one of which was returned by Akron for a touchdown, & Gardner also accounted for a fumble. The valiant Wolverines would surely have lost had not they been superior athletes to the epithetless Zips, & had those same Zips been better-served by coaches with an inkling of proper clock management. Let us hope that this narrow escape will serve as a wake-up call for valiant Wolverines made cocky by last weekend's victory over the vile Fighting Irish, a reminder that hard work beats talent unless talent works hard. Fielding Yost's ghost, that was embarrassing.

Next: The first road game of the year, at Connecticut.

Go Blue!

Bier!
I've finished off the summer's Red Stripe just in time for the first cold snap of the fall, clearing the way for the Yuengling I brought back from my last excursion to *shudder* Ohio. I'm glad that Yuengling is now available as close by as verdammt Ohio, but I'm mildly annoyed that it is not yet available in sacred Michigan. Damn fine beer, Yuengling. Farewell 'til next spring, Red Stripe. "It's beer. Hooray, beer!"

High Spirits
Yesterday, I finished off the last of the club soda. It was offensive only in its blandness, & noted mostly for its complete inferiority to tonic water. (No wonder the Regis College debaters nicknamed me "Tonic.") The experimental Canadian Club has been exhausted, its place taken by an experimental fifth of Seagram's Seven Crown. A home-mixed 7 & 7 was nothing to write home about, though before the Seagram's is gone I should mix it with 7 Up one more time, just in case that first 7 & 7 was a dud. So far, though, tonic water is better than club soda & ginger ale is better than 7 Up. I've not yet tried gin & ginger ale, & I've had but a single whiskey & tonic, so it would be unfair to say definitively that tonic water is a better mixer than ginger ale or vice versa. Schweppes tonic water is better than Canada Dry tonic water. Canada Dry ginger ale is better (as a mixer) than Vernor's, which is not quite ginger ale. No decision yet as to whether Canada Dry ginger ale is better than Seagram's ginger ale; I've also not yet compared Schweppes ginger ale to either. I've no particular interest in fancy-pants whiskeys, plebian fare like Seagram's Seven Crown being sufficient for my experimental needs & blending in quite nicely with the rest of the grocery bill.