Freaks and Geeks… and Greeks: A Prelude
I attended a free swing dance lesson this afternoon, as I did several times toward the tail end of '09. The lads remain in one position and the lasses periodically shift one bloke to the right (their left), until the girl at the end walks all the way back to the other end, like returning the register on an old typewriter. One particularly bright eyed lass informed me that she was in a sorority, and that several of the other distaff dancers were her sorority sisters. She asked me if I was in a fraternity and seemed genuinely surprised that I was not. Later, when the company was dispersing, she invited me to a party at a fraternity house with which her sorority is affiliated. I would have accepted, Project MERCATOR demands no less, but I was under obligation to my father, to attend and take photographs at the Prime Ribs and Politics dinner, organized by his pals—yes, his pals, not mine—in the U of M-Flint College Republicans. I prophecy that there shall be similar invitations in my future; I will report again when all this comes to its predictable, inevitable bad end.

Apropos of nothing else, poetry!

"The Story of Uriah"
by Rudyard Kipling

"Now there were two men in one city;
the one rich, and the other poor."

Jack Barrett went to Quetta
Because they told him to.
He left his wife at Simla
On three-fourths his monthly screw.
Jack Barrett died at Quetta
Ere the next month's pay he drew.

Jack Barrett went to Quetta.
He didn't understand
The reason of his transfer
From the pleasant mountain-land.
The season was September,
And it killed him out of hand.

Jack Barrett went to Quetta
And there gave up the ghost,
Attempting two men's duty
In that very healthy post;
And Mrs. Barrett mourned for him
Five lively months at most.

Jack Barrett's bones at Quetta
Enjoy profound repose;
But I shouldn't be astonished
If now his spirit knows
The reason of his transfer
From the Himalayan snows.

And, when the Last Great Bugle Call
Adown the Hurnai throbs,
And the last grim joke is entered
In the big black Book of Jobs.
And Quetta graveyards give again
Their victims to the air,
I shouldn't like to be the man
Who sent Jack Barrett there.


The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "Comedienne" from Out-of-State Plates, Disco Two (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The R.B.D.S.O.T.D. is often chosen for whimsical reasons, but not today. I've felt like the titular comedienne all day, and then again when I watched in slightly horror-tinged resignation as my father turn what could have been a rousing campaign speech into another lunatic tirade, I had the same thought over and over again:

"Comedienne, please make up your mind.
Are you laughing or crying?
Are you killing or dying tonight?"

Project MERCATOR
It might be a bad weekend for blogging, as I've a full social calendar, but I have hopes of getting home relatively early tomorrow evening, in which case I aspire to compose at least one of the following two posts, if not both: "Freaks and Geeks... and Greeks" & "The Topless Towers of Ilium." (That both have Hellenic-themed titles is a function of my bent of mind, not a relationship one to the other.)

I was waylaid tonight by three events: {ein} The Econ Club's monthly dinner, which I had no inkling was tonight until 'twas announced at this afternoon's meeting; I'm the bloody secretary, how had that managed to escape my attention? {zwei} Assisting The Cowgirl (Vanessa, formerly uncodenamed) with her accounting & marketing homework. {drei} Watching the evening's new episode of Burn Notice with my father. I rue his discovery of Burn Notice last season; I watch the new episodes with him only because it's easier than putting up with the whining that would follow if I insisted on watching them on my own. I know, I know, alas and alack, woe is me!

This weekend: Friday, a political event, a favor to my father; Saturday, movie night at the Wilson household; Sunday, roller derby (!), to be accompanied by some new pals from Lansing. Social mother-lovin' butterfly.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "Imperia" from Out-of-State Plates, Disc Two (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: No particular reason for a song of mourning today, the elegance and beauty of "Imperia" happened to ensnare me.

The Banzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge
Day 31: Finally! Day 28 in pictures; man alive, that was like pulling teeth. The thing I hate about this photographic documentation is that to my eyes, in the mirror, the beard looks fuller and thicker than the photos reveal it to be, and I'd really rather not have that particular bit of self-deception shattered so completely. Nevertheless, the regular photo documentation must and shall continue. The Bonanza is about nothing else if not truth.











Honest to Bog, I thought I'd have quite a prominent bald spot by age thirty. Three cheers for being wrong. Hip hip! Hooray! Hip hip! Hooray! Hip hip! Hooray!



Banzai!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
They Might Be Giants, "Why Did You Grow a Beard?" from Cast Your Pod to the Wind (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Brother, did I get an earful of this sentiment yesterday during a webcam chat with Teddy's parents. Specifically from his father. So, now the Bonanza is being conducted at least in part, at Teddy's father's insistence, for spite. Spite!

"Why did you grow a beard?
Why did you grow a beard?
Is there no where in the world for a nogoodnik?
Is there no where in the freedom-loving,
Sister-hugging, screaming, yelling…"

Master Debating*
The Most Dangerous Game is gorgeous, smart, and fierce, utterly fearless in promoting and publicizing the Econ Club. Yet she is a shrinking violet when confronted with traditional public speaking, such as in front of a classroom. She is under the Svengali-like spell of her Communications (public speaking) professor, who enticed her to join the U of M-Flint Forensics Team as a debater last semester. Partnered with an unenthusiastic boob, she compiled an 0-4 record, and so dragooned me into service as her partner. In two tournaments over the last two weekends, at Butler University in Indianapolis, Indiana and Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti, she and I have gone 2-2 twice, for a combined record of 4-4. Not bad for a pair of novices; my only training, not counting my unsuccessful debating career (but a different format of debate) way, way back in high school, was a forty-five minute briefing in the Svengali's office.

We've only faced one team twice, a pair from Bowling Green. They were our first opponents at Butler—my first collegiate debate—and then again at E.M.U. Both times, they were the Government (affirmative) and we the Opposition (negative); despite the burden of proof belonging to the Government, we were quite surprised to learn we'd prevailed against them in the rematch at E.M.U. They are much more technically proficient than we, possessed of a superior understanding of the strictures and customs of Parliamentary debating, or "Parli." We get by on my natural talent as a speaker (some false modesty to be as offensive as boastfulness) and The Most Dangerous Game's ability to relate any and all topics back to economics. During the debate at Eastern Michigan, I, as Leader of the Opposition (who delivers the first negative constructive speech as well as the first rebuttal), complimented them on their effective speaking styles. Blanket thanks to the other team, your partner, and the judge are, I've learned by watching others, part and parcel of Parli, and I was just following good form, though of course with my own inimitable flair. Later, in the hall, the bespectacled member of the B.G.S.U. duo asked me if I'd been serious in complimenting them; I could see written across his face his nervousness and desperate gratitude for my remarks. No, I don't think he and his partner are particularly effective speakers, just vastly more experienced than my partner and I, but what did it cost me to lie? Of course, I told him, mightily impressive. The Most Dangerous Game and I didn't find out we'd triumphed over them until the following afternoon, too late to find them and lord our victory over their heads (though that's probably for the best, as they eventually advanced to the Parli finals, whereas we didn't make it out of the round-robin round). Still and all, we beat them! Ha ha!

The theme of the weekend, a tournament featuring many other events besides Parli, was "Celebrity & Death." (These forensics kids, and by extension their gatherings, are weird enough without introducing a theme, but there you have it.) On the first day, the organizers acted like members of the paparazzi, snapping pictures and asking the competitors who they were wearing. Yes, there was a red carpet. On the second day, the organizers dressed up as deceased celebrities, e.g., Charlie Chaplin, Marilyn Monroe, and Kurt Cobain. When someone asked who the girl costumed as Janis Joplin was supposed to be, I answered by breaking into "Mercedes Benz" in the scratchiest, most tortured voice I could manage; Janis joined me. When we concluded the first verse, Janis extended her hand and introduced herself by her given name; I replied with mine. After she'd gone, The Most Dangerous Game remarked, "Now that's how you meet girls." So, later, I gave Janis my mobile number and principal email address and asked her to allow me to buy her a drink sometime. I don't expect to hear from her, but I'm quite pleased that I took the chance.

"Who dares wins."

Project MERCATOR
The other four members of the U of M-Flint Forensics Team were driven to Ypsilanti by Professor Svengali in a rental van. I motored behind them in Lumi, eager to have at my disposal the means of leaving E.M.U. independently. Am I really that antisocial? Nay, I was short on time if I was to make my way to Lansing in order to catch The Loose Ties at that wretched hive of scum and villainy, the Commie club; so, while my fellows stopped for dinner in Ann Arbor and then drove back to Flint, I put the pedal to the metal and made a beeline for our state capital. (And very nearly, as I found out, a beeline for our State Capitol.) I had invited the usual gang to accompany me, but four of them, including The Impossible Ingenue, were otherwise occupied at a wedding. The Most Dangerous Game doesn't really like ska and only goes to see The Loose Ties for the social aspect; she made the right call by riding with the others back to campus. Only one fellow, Jake, a fellow member of the Econ Club with whom I've been simply unable to form any kind of emotional bond, accepted the invitation, meeting me at the show, and arriving before I did. (I also invited the new acquaintances I'd made at the surprise party in Lansing about which I have not yet written; suffice it for now that none of them came, though there are plans for a couple to join me this weekend at the latest roller derby bout.) We stayed for two crummy bands before The Loose Ties, then helped our local heroes move their equipment off-stage and said our goodbyes. One of the Loose Ties said he almost didn't recognize me with the facial hair; I recalled that I had not seen them since their show a few days before Christmas, so, yes, they'd missed out on the Banzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge. I see it every day; so, the change is not dramatic, but I suppose it might well be if the last time you saw me I was sporting my beloved sideburns and soul patch.

Always the social butterfly, on Sunday I drove back to Ann Arbor (the hotel at which the Forensics Team stayed overnight Friday was in A², not Ypsi) and had a delightful lunch with Dr. Hee Haw at Jerusalem Garden. I had not seen the good doctor in seven years! That's bloody ridiculous! We didn't know each other on the staff of the Gargoyle for more than two years, three at the absolute outside, though we also knew many of the same people from his hometown of Saline (the likes of Mrs. Sacramento, the Phantom Frantom, and many of my housemates at 1213, the Idiot Brigade), strengthening our bond. Our conversation was as if we'd seen each other only days before, hilarious and silly as our conversations always were, even when we discussed the very real and vexing problem of where in the high holy heck a fellow is supposed to meet available girls. I had no advice for him except to skirt the boundaries of good taste by pursuing undergraduates, as I am doing with The Impossible Ingenue. It was jolly good seeing ol' Doc Hee Haw, and we share a determination not to allow such a preposterous interval to pass before our next meeting; to that end, we are drawing up a list of eateries in Southeast Michigan which we might patronize. Is a meal necessary? Not strictly, but experience has taught me that even with the best of intentions far-flung friends need an activity around which to gather, a flag around which to rally, and everybody's got to eat.

You should be so lucky as to know Dr. Hee Haw.

*I will never ever ever be too mature to chuckle at that.

I am an A-1 jerk.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Barenaked Ladies, "Be My Yoko Ono" from Gordon (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Do not mistake the selection of "Be My Yoko Ono" as the R.B.D.S.O.T.D., nor the quoted lyrics below, as a signal of a softening in my disdainful attitude toward The Beatles: they remain the most overrated band in the history of rock & roll. But the sentiment expressed in "Be My Yoko Ono" is beautiful.

"I would gladly give up musical genius
Just to have you as my very own personal Venus."

The Banzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge
Day 29: I am waiting on my father for the latest round of photographs, taken yesterday. The beard is beginning to take on the aspect of a proper beard, not just overgrown stubble. I did not properly recall from the first Bonanza just how coarse and curly my beard hair is, so different from the hair atop my head. My beard's first instinct is to go wild.

You're waiting on me and I'm waiting on my father; as soon as he gets the photos to me, I'll get them out to you. The process might actually be faster if I hadn't loaned the X-700 to The Impossible Ingenue for her photography class, but I'd have to be pretty creative with filling up the rest of those rolls, and of course there is the expense of developing to consider. That's naught but idle musing, venting my frustration with my father dragging his feet and bellyaching every time I ask him to photographically document the beard's progress. Really, Dad? You take a lengthy nap every afternoon, but these four or five photos put too much pressure on your jam packed schedule?

Banzai!

He's Dead, Jim
Three months to the day that I twisted the unholy hell out of my ankle, and I can tell that things still aren't quite as they were on the day before that fateful skate. I'm beginning to believe things may never again be exactly as they were before, a dreadful thought. Ah, well. I've got to try running on it soon, though increasingly I am thinking about hitting the pool as the way to restart Operation ÖSTERREICH.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "Little Red Light" from Welcome Interstate Managers (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Call me juvenile, denounce me as a fool, I don't care; I was ever-so-excited this morning when I received a text message from The Impossible Ingenue, "Hey. Where are you?" Thus was initiated our delightful afternoon together, during which she, an intensely secretive and reticent girl if ever there was one, was uncharacteristically forthcoming.

I was away from my mobile this evening and missed her call, and typically for her age group she didn't leave a voicemail. By the time I rang her back forty minutes later, she informed me that she and The Most Dangerous Game were halfway home. She'd been calling to see if I wanted to get some dessert. Drat and double drat!

"It's not right, it's not fair,
I'm still a mess and you still don't care.
I go to work, I come back home,
But you're still gone and I'm still alone.
And the little red light's not blinkin',
No, no, the little red light's not blinkin',
No, no, the little red light's not blinkin'
On my big black Radio Shack digital portable phone."

The despairing tone of "Little Red Light" isn't at all appropriate, I'm quite thrilled with how today went. But I thought of "Little Red Light" last night on the drive back from Ann Arbor (which I'll tell you about in the next Project MERCATOR post), the dark bastard doing a number on me, taunting me with all the fun The Ingenue had surely had over the weekend without the merest thought of me flitting across her mind. It was in that context, my mouth still fouled by the aftertaste of that moment of doubt and self-loathing, that I was so overjoyed by her text this morning.

Sonntag, 24 Januar
Fountains of Wayne, "Denise" from Utopia Parkway (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "She makes me weak at the knees."

Samstag, 23 Januar
Less Than Jake, "Bad Scene and a Basement Show" from Borders & Boundaries (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I drove directly from the weekend's debate tournament at Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti to a show in Lansing, to see Flint's own improbable ska band, The Loose Ties. I'd been forewarned that the "club" hosting the show was run by Communists, but I didn't quite believe it until I saw a sign on the wall:

"Environmentally Friendly
Planned Economy
NOW"

Planned economy. "Honest to American God" (in the words of Conrad the Comrade), the sign actually called for a planned economy. There it was, staring me right in the face, the dark side of Amendment I of our nigh-sacred Constitution. Even those who explicitly wish to destroy American liberty are at liberty to say so. The place, called Basement 414, sits at 414 East Michigan Avenue, and the entrance would be within sight of the Michigan State Capitol were it not hidden in a back alley in the shadow of a large smokestack. Seems an appropriate hideaway for Communists plotting against American prosperity and freedom.

The bands besides The Loose Ties were just dreadful, that cacophonous mix of ill-conceived and poorly executed genres known as "screamo." It really was a bad scene and a basement show.

"With too much small talk and lame inside jokes."

Freitag, 22 Januar
Fountains of Wayne, "The Hotel Majestic" from Traffic and Weather (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Actually, it wasn't the Hotel Majestic; for the second consecutive weekend I stayed in a Holiday Inn Express on the University of Michigan-Flint's dime. Of course, as a partially-trained economist I know the University has few dimes of its own, almost all its operating expenses are covered by student tuition and the largess of Michigan's taxpaying citizenry. Thanks, taxpaying Michiganders, and please know that we spent your money frugally by putting three chaps in a room with only two beds. (The fellow I've nicknamed Too Sly voluntarily slept on the floor, which he claims helps his ailing back.)

Operation AXIOM
Today was Jimmy Shaker Day.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "Someone to Love" from Traffic and Weather (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"When it's late (When it's late)
And it's hot (And it's hot)
And a date with The Late Show is all that you've got
Don't give out (Don't give out)
Don't give up (Don't give up)
One of these nights you might find someone to love."

Obamboozled
Happy anniversary, Mr. President. Cult of personalitylink & electionlink. Now go bugger yourself.

The Victors: Project OSPREY
Michigan 68-63 Connecticut (No. 15)
10-7, Big Ten 3-2

I had wanted to watch the game, but missed the start returning from a debate tournament at Butler University in Indianapolis. And, truth be told, I'm glad I didn't see the game, because I didn't deserve to see us win; I didn't deserve to see us win because prior to the game I didn't think we had a snowflake's chance in Hell of winning. Boy howdy, I love being wrong! Is there still an outside, outside chance of making the N.C.A.A. Tournament? Keep hope alive!

Go Blue!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "The Girl I Can't Forget" from Out-of-State Plates, Disc Two (T.L.A.M.)

Dienstag, 19 Januar
Fountains of Wayne, "Hackensack" from Welcome Interstate Managers (T.L.A.M.)

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
The Pogues, "The Irish Rover" from The Best of The Pogues (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The Impossible Ingenue & I saw Leap Year yesterday, and within the film a band, not The Pogues, performs "The Irish Rover."

Sonntag, 17 Januar
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "I'll Sue Ya" from Straight Outta Lynwood (T.L.A.M.)

Samstag, 16 Januar
They Might Be Giants, "The Shadow Government" from The Else (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I spent all day hearing my partner referred to as "the Prime Minister" or "the Leader of the Opposition," several rounds' judges referred to as "Speakers of the House," and other such lovely bits of British Parliamentary slang. If only 'twas really a song about the shadow government; I can't wait until David Cameron is prime minister!

"Where's the shadow government when you need it?"

Freitag, 15 Januar
Less Than Jake, "Five State Drive" from Hello Rockview (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: It was only a two-state drive, Michigan & Indiana, but it felt like more as I had grossly insufficient legroom in the back of our rented late-model Saturn S.U.V. I don't lament the end of Saturn, for never in my life have I sat comfortably in a Saturn vehicle.

The Banzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge
Day 18: My father took a new batch of mug shots yesterday, but I'm still waiting for him to download them off his camera and email them my way. Reaction to the beard continues to pour in, mostly positive, though I still suspect some of that is mere politeness. (The dark bastard posits, and I smile because I find this genuinely funny, that the beard is a hit because I have a face that is well-suited to being obscured.)

Addition: Day 17 in photographs.







There is still itchiness, but at the risk of inviting disaster I believe the worst is behind me. Of larger concern now is that I need a haircut. I think I shall use level 2 rather than the shorter level 1; I prefer level 1, but it leaves my head looking gray, whereas at the level 2 length the brown of my hair is again readily apparent. I am not yet ready to adopt the Coach Oldham look of a shaved head with a full, bushy beard, and level 1 would be just a tad too close to that look. Bear of a weekend ahead, but I hope to use the M.L.K. Day day off for R&R, including cutting my hair.

The Quality of Mercy
It's not that I don't care about Haiti, it just strikes me as monstrously hypocritical to have ignored the plight of that woebegone land for all these years only to now pretend that it's the most important cause in the world. Most of the world, at least if journalistic accounts are to be believed, is thus behaving monstrously hypocritically. If asked, I suppose that, yes, I'd rather be perceived as callous than hypocritical, though of course we are all hypocrites at one time or another.

To wit: Pray for the blighted people of that benighted land.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "The Man in the Santa Suit" from Out-of-State Plates, Disc Two (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I spent a not inconsiderable amount of time today wearing a gorilla suit. I considered "Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz for the R.B.D.S.O.T.D., but "The Man in the Santa Suit" is far more relevant to today's fantabulous adventure.

Mittwoch, 13 Januar
Paul Simon, "Kodachrome" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The Impossible Ingenue has borrowed the X-700 for her photography class. Apparently, her professor was quite pleased to hear she had access to one, it's quite a spectacular camera, though normally hamstrung by being in the hands—mine own—of a complete amateur. The Ingenue has promised to teach me a thing or two about proper photography; so, in time I'll be an incomplete amateur.

Project MERCATOR
Sometimes, for no reason, at least none that is readily apparent, friends are jerks to one another. What makes them friends is that they'll forgive each other, no apologies necessary. Were I a betting man, I'd wager we'll prove to be friends come the morrow.

Besides, she started it.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Barenaked Ladies, "Running Out of Ink" from Barenaked Ladies Are Men (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"It's bleaker than you think,
I'm running out of ink.
Give a guy a break,
This is what it takes
To drive a man to drink."

The Banzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge
Day 15: Welcome to the third week of this second go-round of the Bonanza. So far, response has been positive, but a part of me suspects these people feel the need to say something and, because they are nice people, say something nice. (Of course, that thinking might just be another of the dark bastard's booby traps.) The Most Dangerous Game complimented the beard as did the professor which whom we were speaking, but the professor had never properly seen my as I normally appear, and they said so one right after the other. A chap nearby also complimented the beard, but he's known for wearing whiskers himself; in addition, he is always very complimentary of me, rightly thinking me the cat's pajamas.

Last night, when the gang gathered for an oddly late (for a Sunday) show of Sherlock Holmes, The Impossible Ingenue said the beard looked good, though in my inimitably doltish fashion I disagreed with her and said it did not yet look good, but that it would when longer. She had beaten me to the punch, complimenting the beard before I could properly appraise her newly dyed locks, no longer blonde but brunette, with charming hints of auburn.

I hope to post up-to-the-minute digital photographs tomorrow, but that depends upon the cooperation of my father. He does nothing all day, and it keeps him too busy to lend a hand to others. I perceive that the as-yet-unnamed beard is coming in more quickly than during the original Banzai Beard Bonanza, but I have no objective measurements with which to confirm or debunk that opinion. And still my cheeks remain woefully bare. Curses! The itchiness has not yet abated, nor have I decided how I shall shave/sculpt the beard once we reach that stage. I'll leave more neckbeard than is fashionable, because I believe the current fashion of confining beards to the jawline and above to be foolish and opposed to the spirit of true beardliness. (Not only have I just made up the word "beardliness," but apparently I've appointed myself Lord High Arbiter of the very concept. In egoism as in all other serious errors, go big or go home.)

Banzai!

This Week in Motorsport
There is a ticking clock at the Formula One website, counting down to the first practice session of the first grand prix of the 2010 World Championships, the Bahrain Grand Prix. 12-14 March, fifty-nine days and counting….

Other dates to note: 20 March, the 12 Hours of Sebring, the opening round of the American Le Mans Series and the main warm-up before the legendary 24 Hours of Le Mans.

12-13 June, the 24 Heures du Mans, the greatest motorcar race in all the world. With last year's experience under my belt, this year I'm going to do it right; bugger sleep, bugger the obligations of kith & kin, I'm going to see as much of Le Mans as is broadcast on television. To do list, between now and 12 Juin: watch Steve McQueen's phenomenal Le Mans and Truth in 24 (sure, the latter is Audi propaganda, but it's still a breathtakingly detailed look inside Le Mans).

The most amusing personalized license plate I've seen in a good while: MEIN VW. Sehr gut!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
King Apparatus, "Hold Me Down" from Marbles (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Inspired by The Most Dangerous Game's FaceSpace status update (and the following is a lyric, not her status): "Because better than you have tried and failed to hold me down."

Sonntag, 10 Januar
Sloan, "Chester the Molester" courtesy of The Watergirl (T.L.A.M.)

The Victors: Project OSPREY
Northwestern 68-62 Michigan
8-7, Big Ten 2-2

Drat. The worst part? I made a mental note yesterday to watch this afternoon's contest, only to have all thought of the game fly out of my head until about five o'clock this afternoon. By Lucifer's beard! No, wait, scratch that second sentence, the worst part is that we lost. Two games in a row is good, but it isn't a streak. We blew our chance at a winning streak, and we desperately need an impressive winning streak if we're to have any chance to make the Big Dance. Come on, lads, I want to see some streaking!*

Go Blue!

*Hee hee, you know what I mean, I simply refused to resist the chance for a cheap laugh.

Secrets of the Secret Base
Haloscan finally sold out. I received an email approximately a week before Christmas informing me that my use of Haloscan's free commenting feature was about to be revoked. I could pay ten bucks a year for their atrocious "Echo" commenting service, or be tossed out into the cold. I chose the cold. Yet when the fortnight deadline passed, naught changed. By now, however, all my old comments have been lost and, contrary to Haloscan's advice, I was unable to smoothly and easily transfer them into Blogger's own internal commenting service.

I've followed the instructions given to equip The Secret Base with Blogger commenting, but it's not working as advertised. No sign of any comments is visible on the main blog page. If you click on the time signature at the bottom, you'll be redirected to a that-post-only version of this blog, where comments are then visible. I'm at a loss what to do, but I'll keep cracking until I get this worked out. Your patience and tolerance are greatly appreciated, dear readers. Also, the Devil take everyone at Haloscan and may misfortune stalk them all the rest of their days.

The Queue
The Best Editorial Cartoons of the Year books take maybe half an hour to an hour to read through, depending on how long one dwells on each cartoon. They're still books; so, they go on the list, but no one should get an inflated view of how much I've been reading lately. Slam was a proper book, the other two took no time at all.

Recently
book holiday
Nick Hornby, Slam
Charles Brooks, editor, Best Editorial Cartoons of the Year—2010 Edition
Charles Brooks, editor, Best Editorial Cartoons of the Year—2008 Edition

Currently
Agatha Christie, Crooked House

Presently
P. G. Wodehouse, Mike at Wrykyn & Mike and Psmith
Agatha Christie, Passenger to Frankfurt
Agatha Christie, The Murder at the Vicarage

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Vampire Weekend, "Oxford Comma" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Freitag, 8 Januar
Apocalypse Hoboken, "Gummi" from Plea For Peace (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"She dresses down to flatter,
She makes my everything, everything matter."

The Banzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge
Day 11: Behold! Oddly enough, I was complimented on this debacle by three people today. Of course, they think I'm going to keep the beard short like it is now. The fools! I hate the close beard, that bane of modern men's grooming. Stubble is one thing, but if you're going to grow a beard, then grow a verdammt beard!







Ooo, should I name the beard? What do you think about "Chester"?

Banzai!

The Victors: Project OSPREY
Michigan 64-55 Penn State
8-6, Big Ten 2-1

I was only able to catching the last ten minutes of the second half, but that was certainly the right quarter of the game for the Michigan faithful! The valiant Wolverines were down by ten when first I glimpsed the contest with the ferocious Nittany Lions, but steadily our boys ate away at Penn State's lead. Woo hoo!

Is the season back on track, with a comeback win against Penn State on the heels of the upset of a plainly superior Ohio State squad? Let's all do everything in our power to jinx the rest of the season, like I just did!

Propagandalink.

Sunday, 3 January 2010
Michigan 73-65 Ohio State (No. 15)
7-6, Big Ten 1-1

Missed it completely. I meant to watch it, but Sunday didn't go at all to plan. That's not a complaint, just an observation.

Thursday, 31 December 2009
Indiana 71-65 Michigan
6-6, Big Ten 0-1

I'm no fair weather fan, dear friends. I watched the majority of New Year's Eve's loss to the wily Hoosiers of Indiana University, missing the last thirty seconds because I was already running late for the New Year's Eve extravaganza. We had them, or we could have had them, we just couldn't seal the deal. And that's the most frustrating kind of loss. By Lucifer's beard!

Go Blue!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Andy Partridge, "I Wonder Why the Wonderfalls" courtesy of The Watergirl (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The theme song to the late, lamented television series Wonderfalls. If you haven't seen the show, I insist you do so soonest. My D.V.D. boxset sits ready to loan. Any takers?

The Queue
What did High Fidelity teach us? You don't need to love the same pop cultural stuff as the people you love. Extrapolate that principle and we arrive at the present situation: I hate hate hate Nick Hornby's book column from The Believer, specifically the collection titled Shakespeare Wrote For Money, but I still enjoy Nick Hornby's books. Or rather, I'm still interested in his books. (And his films. Sure, I'm madly in love with Carey Mulligan and desperately want Sally Sparrow to be a full-time companion on Doctor Who, but Hornby's the paramount reason I saw An Education.)

***SPOILER ALERT***

That said, I really disliked the time travel subplot of Slam. Are we meant to believe a poster of Tony Hawk was actually able to "whiz" the present-day mind of the protagonist, Sam, into his own future body, or are we meant to assume Sam is an unreliable narrator and made up his visits to the future from whole cloth at some later point to deceive the audience into learning some greater lesson? Sam left the matter deliberately unclear. I'm a huge fan of speculative fiction (because so much of modern "sci fi" has jack all to do with science fiction), but I'm not comfortable with how it played out amidst the otherwise strict realism of Slam.

***END ALERT***

Recently
book holiday
Nick Hornby, Slam
Charles Brooks, ed., Best Editorial Cartoons of the Year—2010 Edition

Currently
Charles Brooks, ed., Best Editorial Cartoons of the Year—2008 Edition

Presently
Agatha Christie, Crooked House
P. G. Wodehouse, Mike at Wrykyn & Mike and Psmith
Agatha Christie, Passenger to Frankfurt

The Banzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge
Day 10: The itching! The itching! I am tempted to call this phase of the beard-growing process "The Itchening," after the Invader ZIM episode "The Wettening." I really need to get on top of the photographic documentation, but for now suffice it to say that the last five years have not brought the much sought after coverage to my cheeks. I can grow mighty and mightily impressive muttonchops and I've got neckbeard to spare, but the cheeks are still sporadic. I've shaved the small safety barrier between my nose and my mustache, the fire line that prevents mustache hairs from going up my nose, but I've yet to sculpt the neckbeard. For the nonce, I'm letting it all grow like ivy, and only later will I tame and shape it.

I'm not certain how long the Bonanza's going to last. Bonsai's Revenge was supposed to start directly after Thanksgiving and end no earlier than the Ides of March. But with the start pushed back a month, what does that do to the endgame? The Ides of April? May Day? The Drama Queen is vehement that I should grow my beard for an entire year, but I dismissed that out of hand. I'm not opposed to the idea in principle, but were I to follow that plan I'd want to have done so from the start, and I'd have shaved on New Year's Eve, not to shave again for over a year, until the next next New Year's Day; or shaved on my birthday, not to shave until until I was another year older. No, the year beard is not something to be attempted willy nilly. It requires planning and, above all, dedication. Perhaps I'll attempt the year beard for the Banzai Beard Bonanza III: Third Time's the Harm, but not here during Bonsai's Revenge.

Ooo, the beard of one hundred days? The original Banzai Beard Bonanza lasted eighty-eight days, from the New Year until almost the end of March. I am tempted to go for quite a bit longer, but given pause by remembering how desperately I wished to be rid of the beard by the end o' that first Bonanza. I shall ponder and report back on my decision. Gah, the cursed itching!

Banzai!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Sufjan Stevens, "We Three Kings" from Songs For Christmas (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary-cum-Operation AXIOM: And now the Christmastide is at an end. Next Sunday marks the resumption of Ordinary Time. Merry Christmas to all and sundry!

Dienstag, 5 Januar
Bob & Doug Mckenzie, "Twelve Days of Christmas" from Great White North (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary-cum-Operation AXIOM: A very merry Twelfth Night to one and all!

Montag, 4 Januar
Sufjan Stevens, "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" from Songs For Christmas (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The instrumental piano version near the end of the album, as there are two distinct renditions of "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" on Songs For Christmas, both splendid.

"Rejoice!"

Sonntag, 3 Januar
Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan, "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings" from Barenaked For the Holidays (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary-cum-Operation AXIOM: The official celebration of the Epiphany, though of course tradition holds that Casper, Balthazar, and Melchior didn't visit the infant Christ until 6 January.

Bog, I love this song!

Samstag, 2 Januar
Mu330, "This Year More Than Ever" from Winter Wonderland (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Such a glorious melancholy.

Operation AXIOM & Project MERCATOR present: The New Year
New Year's Eve was a wonderland of good friends and good fun, until shortly after midnight—no longer the Eve—when drama-rama broke out with a vengeance. I got to sleep around 8:00 A.M. this morning, and of course we had to check out of the hotel by noon. But instead of heading home, I spent the rest of the day with The Most Dangerous Game, The Impossible Ingenue, and their cousin-cum-sister, The Drama Queen, the center of all the drama. I'm barely alive, but boy howdy did I have a whale of a time!

Tomorrow, The Sardine!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of New Year's Day
Spike Jones and His City Slickers, "Happy New Year" from The Spike Jones Anthology (T.L.A.M.)

Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to my sainted mother, twice over a grandmother and deliriously happy at that happenstance. She's been gone since Boxing Day—helping The L.A.W. and Brother-in-L.A.W. cope with the still brand-new Natalie (Niece-in-L.A.W.? Daughter-of-L.A.W.?)—and I miss her terribly. Happy birthday, Mom!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of New Year's Eve
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, "Auld Lang Syne" from Ruin Jonny's Bar Mitzvah (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: All the best to you and yours in Anno Domini 2010, my friends.

"We'll take a cup of kindness yet
For auld lang syne."

Project MERCATOR
No rest for the wicked. I hosted the gang on Tuesday night for a Psych marathon and to make preparations for our New Year's Eve extravaganza. Worlds collided when Ki-El joined us, becoming the first of my old comrades to meet the new crowd. I am sorry that this Christmas break has not been more productive for The Secret Base, but I've found it to be devilishly brief and passing at a heart-stopping pace. On my honor, Twenty-ten will be a better bloggy blogging year than was Aught-nine.

Tomorrow, of course, belongs exclusively to the aforementioned New Year's Eve extravaganza, about which I will report in as much detail as discretion allows, provided I survive. On Saturday, I am scheduled to see The Sardine; yippee!

The Banzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge
Day 3: The itchiness has begun, and it will get much, much worse before it gets better. Good news, The Impossible Ingenue thinks this is a terrible idea. Oh, wait… crumbs!

Banzai!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Sufjan Stevens, "Holy, Holy, Holy" from Songs for Christmas (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: "God in three Persons."

Dienstag, 29 Dezember
Duvall, "Joy to the World" from O Holy Night (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary-cum-Operation AXIOM: 29 December, the Feast Day of Saint Thomas Becket, martyred for his defense of the Church against the state's avarice.

The Loot
Presented in the same format in which my Christmas wish list was presented to my kin.

{Literature}
Charles Brooks, ed., Best Editorial Cartoons of the Year—2010 Edition
Charles Brooks, ed., Best Editorial Cartoons of the Year—2008 Edition

{Motion Pictures on D.V.D.}
Slumdog Millionaire (curiously, on Blu-ray disc, even though I don't have a Blu-ray player)
Ratatouille
Hook

{Television Series on D.V.D.}
Star Wars: The Clone Wars — The Complete Season One
Psych — The Complete First Season
Psych — The Complete Second Season
Psych — The Complete Third Season

{Music}
Reel Big Fish, Fame, Fortune, and Fornication (on compact disc)
Sufjan Stevens, Songs for Christmas (through the agency of an iTunes gift certificate)

{Miscellany}
Salami (which my mom refuses to make throughout the rest of the year)
Gift certificates to the Men's Wearhouse
Hallmark keepsake ornament — Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader's final duel aboard the Death Star II
Hallmark keepsake ornaments — Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano from The Clone Wars
Hallmark keepsake ornament - Iron Man (these are my dad's favorite things in the world to give)
Renewal of my subscription to National Review
AA batteries (even though I still have stockpiled AA's from many Christmases past)
candies of many stripes
cold, hard cash
* * * * *
a stocking full of coal (technically, charcoal) & a pair of panties from The Most Dangerous Game (she's an odd duck)
"something" from The Impossible Ingenue (she didn't have it at the gang's Christmas party on 22 Dezember, and I haven't seen her since, woe is me [text messaging every day isn't sufficient!])

The Bonzai Beard Bonanza II: Bonsai's Revenge
Day 1: I shaved off my sideburns and imperial yesterday. I've trimmed my sideburns above the bottom of my ears before, but this is the first time I've been completely without them since I first grew them the summer after freshman year. I love my sideburns and I look bizarre without them; not dramatically different, but something small and nagging is clearly amiss. Pictures will be posted as soon as my dad emails them to me.

This second go-round of the Banzai Beard Bonanza is getting underway a month later than I intended. The main reason for suspending the start was Project PANDORA, the pursuit of The Impossible Ingenue and the brief, frustrating, and ultimately idiotic sideshow with The Other Woman. But you know what? The only way I'll ever win The Ingenue's heart is by being me, the best, truest version of me I can be. And I want to grow a beard; growing this beard has been five years in the making, since the first Banzai Beard Bonanza (and stand ready for some serious Wayback Machine action as we move forward). Hang on to your hats, this is going to suck. And this is going to be awesome. And then suck some more.

Banzai!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Barenaked Ladies, "I Saw Three Ships" from Barenaked For the Holidays (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Christmas music will continue throughout Christmastide.

Sonntag, 27 Dezember
Duvall, "Away in a Manger" from O Holy Night (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Seemed an apropos choice for the Feast of the Holy Family.

Samstag, 26 Dezember
Palooka-ville, "Triumph of the GoBots" from Falling Off the Doghouse (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Live on stage for one night only! The pride of the Grand Blanc music scene, together again after many moons! Ladies and gentlemen, the Aloha Lounge is proud to present the one, the only, the original, Palooka-ville!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of Christmas Day
Kevin Stermer & the Brothers Mace, "Santa Baby" courtesy of K. Steeze (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Just horrible. Bog, I hope butchering a Yuletide classic becomes an annual tradition.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Sufjan Stevens, "I Saw Three Ships" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Mittwoch, 23 Dezember
Billy Joel, "New York State of Mind" from Greatest Hits, Vol. 1 (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Because Mr. Skeeter (ne Jimmy From Queens) thinks I'm a New Yorker at heart and cannot understand why I don't live there.

Dienstag, 22 Dezember
Brian d'Arcy James, "Michigan Christmas" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Because I woke up long before dawn broke to drive with my father to Cleveland so that he could purchase a "parts car," and having done so we then drove back to Michigan at a snail's pace because he didn't want to push his untested prize. And all the while I thought solely about getting back in time for my new friends' Christmas party, which turned out to be exactly as delightful as I'd hoped. All my joy on Tuesday was tied up in returning to sacred Michigan from baleful Ohio.

Montag, 21 Dezember
Catch 22, "Keasbey Nights" from Keasbey Nights (T.L.A.M)

Commentary: I saw The Loose Ties perform for the second time in four days, and, boy howdy, do they love playing their cover of "Keasbey Nights."

Sonntag, 20 Dezember
Susan Egan, "I'll Be Home For Christmas" from Winter Tracks (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I wasn't home, I was in Ohio celebrating an early Christmas with my nephew Teddy and his folks (with whom reconciliation seems increasingly likely). But, by thunder, I'll be home for Christmas!

Samstag, 19 Dezember
Weezer, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" via iTunes, (free) Holiday Sampler (T.L.A.M.)

Project MERCATOR
Tonight, my friend's band, The Loose Ties, played at a local watering hole, Woobie's Bar & Nightlife. I last saw The Loose Ties, an honest-to-Bog ska band, three weeks hence, at that selfsame Woobie's; then, a girl I'd just met formed a crush on me, leading to a tale that will eventually be told as "Project PANDORA: The Other Woman." This evening, I was returning from solo skanking in front of the stage to my group's table when a girl left the bar and drew up close to me. She asked in a low voice, "Do you like girls or boys?" I had not quite heard her and asked her to repeat the question.

She did and I answered, "I like girls." She returned to the bar and a moment later I sidled up behind her and whispered in her ear, smiling as I did so, "If that disappoints anybody, I'm sorry." Visual evidence of her ensuing conversation indicates the chap seated to her right had taken a fancy to me. Later, as I stood next to our table after another skanking sortie, this chap stood up and started to approach me before he was bodily intercepted by another of his fellows, who steered him back to the bar and spoke for some time into the chap's ear. The chap had clearly been imbibing to the point of impairment, but this was still, to my knowledge, the first time I was the object of a homosexual advance. In all frankness, yes, it was mildly flattering.

A girl the first time I skanked to the music of The Loose Ties at Woobie's, a guy the second time. I've seen and skanked to the music of The Loose Ties on two other occasions without receiving any offers; so, clearly the operative variable is Woobie's. At Woobie's, I am a chick love magnet.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the day
The Loose Ties, "Awesomer Than You" from the The Loose Ties E.P. (T.L.A.M.)

The L.A.W. and the as-yet-not-codenamed Natalie went home today, and both are reported by Brother-in-L.A.W., always a more open communicator than my sister, to be doing well. My mother, unsurprisingly, is pleased as punch, as are, it must be said, we all. Natalie's a Festivus miracle!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Stephen Colbert, "Another Christmas Song" via iTunes, (free) Holiday Sampler (T.L.A.M.)

Mittwoch, 16 Dezember
Susan Egan, "Little Colored Lights" from Winter Tracks (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"It's kind of funny, they're only light bulbs,
Strung around a window or a doorway or a tree,
But those light bulbs, those little light bulbs
Shine with more than just the light we see."

Wilson
Welcome to the world, Natalie, Uncle Mike already loves you! Also, remember, Uncle Mike is your favorite!



The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
The Killers, "Believe Me Natalie" from Hot Fuss (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The only "Natalie" song I have.

Montag, 14 Dezember
Jimmy Buffett, "Christmas in the Caribbean" courtesy of The Watergirl (The Watergirl)

Commentary: "Got everything but snow." Sounds hellish.

Wilson
As I type these lines my pregnant sister, The L.A.W., is being induced into labor, five days before her baby, the still gender-unknown "Junior" was "due." I will report again as soon as I have news, God willing that mother and baby are in tip-top shape and resting comfortably.

Max, Benjamin, Paul, or Henry? Molly, Rachel, Natalie, or Sonia?

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Meaghan Smith, "It Snowed" via iTunes, (free) Holiday Sampler (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: It didn't actually snow Saturday night, it was more of a murderous freezing rain, but I was able successfully to navigate my way home from The Impossible Ingenue & The Most Dangerous Game's house, where the usual suspects watched The Ugly Truth (ugly doesn't begin to describe it) and Pretty Woman (pretty fair).

"And when the Sun dips out of sight,
We'll cozy up together by the fireside.
And just before we close our eyes
Wish upon a star it snows again tonight."

Project PANDORA
Great Bird of the Galaxy, The Impossible Ingenue is a fan of Invader ZIM! Raise your glasses, here's to serendipity.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Great Big Sea, "Come and I Will Sing You" courtesy of The Watergirl (The Watergirl, for reals)

Freitag, 11 Dezember
Barenaked Ladies, "Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah" from Barenaked For the Holidays (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: On the occasion of the beginning of Hanukkah. Bit of a non sequitur: Hi, my name is Mike Wilson and I am proud to be a Zionist.

The Explorers Club
No. CLVIII - The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, Part III: The Great Pyramid of Giza.








Obamboozled
It is a farce that President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, but credit where credit is due, his acceptance speech—at least the parts I heard—was the finest I've ever heard our charlatan president deliver. Alas, pretty words do not wise and courageous policy make.

Welcome to the parade of horrors. Seen enough yet?

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Tanya Donelly, "The Night You Saved My Life" via iTunes (Mrs. Skeeter)

Commentary: The title, "The Night You Saved My Life," reminds me so much of the last line of a short story, "Lifeguard," I wrote a decade back, in a creative writing class: "Come on, Happy, save my life."

Plus, back to Donelly, "Every day brings a new breed of jackass."

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Sufjan Stevens, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" via YouTube (Daddy Dylweed)

Project MERCATOR
Think you can't inadvertently spent a night out on the town? Guess again. You can fall into these things like a tiger trap. A pleasant tiger trap, mind you, but the simile was always meant to play up the ambush angle anyway.

Tonight was supposed to be a big bloggy blogging night, a night to get caught up and explain what's been on my mind lately. Tomorrow, I devoutly hope. The Secret Base was never meant to be a casualty of MERCATOR.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "Laser Show" from Utopia Parkway (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Why? Because someone mentioned the laser show tonight at dessert. It's just that easy!

Montag, 7 Dezember
They Might Be Giants, "Bed Bed Bed" from No! (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I fell asleep on Monday a little after ten o'clock, having gotten about forty-five minutes of restless sleep the previous night. 'Twas one part socialization and two parts schoolwork (and mine own sloth toward same) that kept me up so early.

Sonntag, 6 Dezember
American Hi-Fi, "Flavor of the Weak" via iTunes (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"Her boyfriend, he don't know,
Anything about her.
He's too stoned, Nintendo,
I wish that I could make her see."

Samstag, 5 Dezember
The Blues Brothers, "Expressway to Your Heart" from The Definitive Collection (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"I been tryin' to get to you for a long time,
'Cause constantly you've been on my mind.
I was thinkin' about a short cut that I could take,
But I found I made a mistake.
I was wrong, it took too long.
I got caught in a rush hour,
Fellas started to shower
You with love and affection,
Now you won't look in my direction.

I need an expressway to your heart!
That expressway,
That's the best way."

I'm ready, I just can't seem to find the on ramp to the expressway to The Impossible Ingenue's heart.

Freitag, 4 Dezember
The Articles, "Blue Monk" from Flip F'real (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: On the occasion of the series finale of Monk, "Mr. Monk and the End, Part II." My thanks to all those who made Monk such a great show lo these many wonderful years.

I'm sorry for the sporadic posts and general lack of content, dear readers, these old bones are as weary as the day is long. I'm going to bed directly after publishing this.

Project MERCATOR
So far past expectations has MERCATOR succeeded, so much the social butterfly have I become, that a night like tonight, with no phone calls or text messages, no high-jinks into the wee hours of the morning, fills me with a peculiar kind of dread. Like something great is happening and I'm missing it, or something awful is happening and I'm not there to stop it. Like this new life is so terribly fragile that one missed opportunity might plunge me back into my former solitude, never again to emerge. However did this happen to me, misanthropic, misfit me?

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Barenaked Ladies, "It's All Been Done" from Stunt (The Watergirl, sort of)

Mittwoch, 2 Dezember
Less Than Jake, "She's Gonna Break Soon" from Anthem (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"It's the boys in bars on Friday night
That replace the emptiness inside."

Project PANDORA
I have spent significant time with The Impossible Ingenue every day since Thanksgiving, with lunch scheduled for Wednesday and our second swing dance lesson for Friday. I am so taken with her it's ridiculous.


The Impossible Ingenue & The Last Angry Man at his second Thanksgiving dinner.

And, no, this isn't the out-of-left-field PANDORA news alluded to on Sunday. No time to detail that now.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Barenaked Ladies, "In the Car" from Stunt (T.L.A.M.)

Montag, 30 November
They Might Be Giants, "Take Out the Trash" from The Else (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"Girl, why not take out the trash?
And once you get him out,
Tell him not to come back again.
Girl, put that cat in the bin,
After what he said,
After everything he did.

You had him figured out a while ago,
And I know it's not exactly breaking news.
But it's all been a little like a trial for you
And a bunch more talking won't make him true."

A bunch more talking won't make him true.

The Explorers Club
No. CLVII - The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, Part II: the Mausoleum of Mausolus at Halicarnassus, the Colossus of Rhodes, & the Lighthouse of Alexandria.










The Victors: Project OSPREY
Sunday, 29 November
Alabama 68-66 Michigan (15)
3-2, Big Ten 0-0

And just like that, we're 3-2 after a 1-2 performance at the Old Spice Classic. Call me fair weather is you wish, but I went to five o'clock Mass today, missing this game, and I just don't have the energy to dwell on bad news.

Next contest: at home v. Boston College, part of the annual drubbing known as the Big Ten/A.C.C. Challenge. Go Blue!

Friday, 27 November
Marquette 79-65 Michigan (15)
3-1, Big Ten 0-0

It's hard to win when you can't stop the other team's offense. At all. Early days, plenty of time to correct today's miscues before we enter the meaty part of the college basketball schedule. Still and all, perspective be buggered. Drat, I really though we might have actually deserved our No. 15 ranking!

Project OSPREY
Big Ten/A.C.C. Challenge, Tuesday night doubleheader: Purdue v. Wake Forest, Michigan State v. North Carolina. Woot! (Too bad I'll have too much studying to do to watch all of both games.)

He's Dead, Jim
I saw The Loose Ties last night at Woobie's, a pretty cool bar in Flint. I've now seen them thrice, every fortnight since Halloween. Woobie's really is a bar, not a bar-cum-nightclub; so, predictably, there was very little dancing. To blazes with critical mass, I skanked! I skanked alone, I skanked with the band, I skanked in an oval around the pool table, I skanked back and forth along the bar, shaking the whole place. I skanked like it was going out of style, which I suppose it is. And as before at the massive, seven-band ska show in Ann Arbor two weeks ago, all that reckless skanking tweaked a muscle in my left calf. Plus, it didn't do my malingering right ankle any favors. I've been hobbled all day, but it was totally worth it.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, "Dr. D" (the old way, live) from Live From the Middle East (T.L.A.M.)

Coming Attractions
An unexpected development in Project PANDORA, but I guarantee you it isn't what you're guessing it is.

Project MERCATOR
Without really meaning for it to happen, this Thanksgiving and the subsequent weekend have turned into an orgy of socialization that dwarfs even the "Three Four Days of the Condor" of a fortnight hence. My parents are away visiting my grandmother in Ohio, yet there are four people sleeping in my house besides your humble narrator.

Yes, I'm typing this at five-something in the morning, and no, I haven't yet been to bed. L'chaim!

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Samstag, 28 November
Reel Big Fish, "Beer" from Turn the Radio Off (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"Maybe someday I'll think of what to say.
Maybe next time I'll remember what to do.
She looks like Heaven,
Maybe this is Hell."

Freitag, 27 November
Blink-182, "The Party Song" from Enema of the State (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary:

"So when you see her standing there
With green eyes and long blonde hair,
She won't be wearing underwear
And you'll discover
This girl's not the one,
And she'll never be fun,
You should just turn and run,
Because you'll find out that some girls try too hard.
(Da na na, da na na, da na na)
Some girls try too hard.
(Da na na, da na na, da na na)
And some girls try too hard to impress
With the way that they dress,
With those things on their chest,
And the things they suggest."

Operation AXIOM
I am truly blessed, there is so very much in my life for which to be thankful, and for which I am indeed thankful. I am possessed of a mind with which to reason and a body with which to ambulate, I have loving kin and the finest kith for which any man could ask, and, most of all, I am loved by the Creator and assured of undeserved salvation through the Christ. There is so much for which to be thankful!

I hope one and all are having a most splendid Thanksgiving!

The Victors: Project OSPREY
(15) Michigan 83-76 Creighton (O.T.)
3-0, Big Ten 0-0

Perhaps more exciting than the valiant Wolverines needed to make things, but I was quite pleased to see how they clawed their way back into the game in the waning minutes and then took Creighton to task in overtime time. Marquette or Xavier? Either way, bring 'em on! (Tomorrow at noon, don't miss it!)

Go Blue!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of Thanksgiving Day
Green Day, "Macy's Day Parade" from Warning (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: I'm as ardent a fan of commerce as the next fellow, but this "Black Friday" malarkey has gone too far.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
Fountains of Wayne, "She's Got a Problem" from Fountains of Wayne (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Project MERCATOR is no longer solely about having fun. Or maybe it is, maybe "mission creep" should be avoided, but the friendships nurtured by MERCATOR are no longer solely about fun. The Most Dangerous Game is an extraordinary girl, or she has the potential to be, but troubled. Not troubled the way the girl in "She's Got a Problem" is troubled, but the lyrics work well enough.

"I know a girl who you've got to keep on eye on,
I know a girl who you've got to keep an eye on,
Every time she goes outside,
She barely gets home alive,
She's got a problem and she's gonna do something dumb."

Dienstag, 24 November
Less Than Jake, "The Science of Selling Yourself Short" from Anthem (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: My new friends apparently quite dislike my self-depreciating humor—or at least I've always intended it as humor—and have asked me to knock it off. I suppose they think it represents low self-esteem? Sure, I hate myself, but only to the extent that I rue how easy it would have been not to have completely fouled up my life. As with all my friends, I find their genuine affection for me somewhat puzzling, but because it seems to be genuine affection—at least I can discern no plausible outside motive—I've decided to accede to their request. So, for the first time in many, many years, I'm in need of a new shtick. But until then:

"I'm so overdosed on apathy,
And burnt out on sympathy.
…
Let the meaning slip away,
Lost my faith in another day,
Self-deprecation seems okay,
I never thought I'd make it anyway."

Project OSPREY
I caught the end of a game today, Pittsburgh 68-55 Wichita State. It has begun.

He's Dead, Jim
I saw Slapher Sally, one of the Flint City Derby Girls, in the White Building today, and she asked me about my ankle. Sally's not her real name, but within the world of derby everybody seems to go by their derby nickname rather than have to learn two complete sets of names. I'm going to forgo the Ace bandage tomorrow and see what happens; I've got full extension back, there's just some occasional pain and stiffness.

It's been four weeks (complicated by attending two ska shows within that span). I'm ready for this to be over and done with.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Beirut, "Nantes" via iTunes (Skeeter)

Commentary: I might as well present today's exchange with Skeeter in its entirety:

Skeeter: "'Nantes' by Beirut. Hated it at first, but now can't stop listening. Give it a chance before you give up on it."

Me: "Oddly enough, I find this a much more compelling endorsement than if you'd written simply, 'Love this song, give it a chance.' Will do."

Skeeter: "Odder still, I think I may still hate it, but it's gotten under my skin."

Me: "Now that's quite off putting, because there are few things in the whole world I hate more than the fact that I know all the lyrics to many songs I despise. Nevertheless, by this point I am curious, and shall give 'Nantes' a fair shake."

I've been listening to "Nantes" on repeat, and I don't hate it. But neither do I think it's getting under my skin. Time has yet to weigh in on that score, though.

The Explorers Club
No. CLVI - The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, Part I: the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, & the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus.









The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Fastball, "The Way" from All the Pain Money Can Buy (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: For whatever reason, I could not get this song out of my head this afternoon when I was finally, finally finishing with the leaves. We always have one tree, one holdout that refuses to drop its leaves until after the first snowfall. But this year the snow did not come abnormally early, thwarting the holdout. Woot!

The Victors: Doom Doom Doom
Tuesday morning, one of my two Uncles Bob (my mother's brother, not my mother's sister's husband) offered me a pair of tickets to The Game. Holy wow, I haven't seen the Michigan-Ohio State game with my own eyes in years! I accepted his generosity right away, the potential price of the tickets being all that gave me pause, but by late Tuesday night circumstances compelled Uncle Bob to rescind the offer. He apologized profusely and I had no cause to bear him any ill will; easy come, easy go. Still and all, boy howdy, that would have been something!

For the record, I would have invited The Impossible Ingenue, but in the full knowledge that she'd be working and would thus almost certainly decline. My real plan, then, was to invite Doctor Hee Haw, whom I have not seen in far too long. It would have been classic, Doc!

Ohio State 21-10 Michigan
5-7, Big Ten 1-7

Wisconsin 45-24 Michigan
5-6, Big Ten 1-6

Purdue 38-36 Michigan
5-5, Big Ten 1-5

Illinois 38-13 Michigan
5-4, Big Ten 1-4

Penn State 35-10 Michigan
5-3, Big Ten 1-3

What can I say? I'm sorry I haven't blogged more about the football season. I'm sorry Project MERCATOR prevented me from watching several of this season's games. I'm sorry a year in which we all expected to make a great leap forward ended up resembling (and I'm sorry for the insensitiveness of this reference) the Great Leap Forward. I'm sorry we're terrible.

But I'm not sorry for believing in Rich Rodriguez. Lloyd Carr liked to use the words of Rudyard Kipling as instruments in his job, which he saw as not so much to coach football as it was to guide boys into honorable manhood. So, in defense of Coach Rodriguez, I submit some words of Rudyard Kipling's, from the poem "If—," the pattern after which I am attempting to lead my own life:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
…
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
…
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
…
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son!

Go Blue!

Project PANDORA
I had mobile telephone conversations this afternoon with my erstwhile best friend, K. Steeze, and The Guy, seeking their counsel on how, or even if, I should pursue The Impossible Ingenue. Each handled the imposition with aplomb and I thank them for their sage words. I am tremendously fortunate to have such friends. Thank you, kind sirs.

Project MERCATOR
I was out late Thursday night (more to follow) and out late Friday (the second consecutive Friday spent at The Impossible Ingenue's house), but mercifully The Anonymous Friend had to postpone the poker night scheduled for this evening. Instead, I washed up after some post-game leaf-raking (during which I had the confabs with the aforementioned trio of advisers), ate a delicious home-cooked meal, washed the dishes from same, and caught up on the Monk and White Collar episodes I taped during the last two Fridays spent with The Impossible Ingenue. There are tentative plans to see a movie tomorrow with The Most Dangerous Game, and I hope to corner her into a serious conversation about what's been bedeviling her, though she is by turns evasive and vague when the discussion turns to anything substantive.

World of woe, I'm even farther behind on entries in my journal than I am on posts to The Secret Base. Cursed twenty-four-hour day!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The University of Michigan Marching Band, "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" from A Saturday Tradition (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Go Blue!

Freitag, 20 November
The Puppini Sisters, "It Don't Mean a Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)" from The Rise and Fall of Ruby Woo (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Swing dance lesson with The Impossible Ingenue: free. The opportunity to dance with The Impossible Ingenue: priceless.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Blink-182, "Dammit" from Dude Ranch (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Today began in a dark abyss. It ended on a high peak, under Orion's Belt. The baleful tone of this R.B.D.S.O.T.D. reflects the morning's suffering, as well as my continued concern for my friend, The Most Dangerous Game. Alas and alack, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

"The steps that I retrace,
The sad look on your face,
The timing and structure,
Did you hear he fucked her?
A day late, a buck short,
I'm writing the report
On losing and failing.
When I move, I'm flailing now."

Project MERCATOR: Three Four Days of the Condor
I regret sincerely the lack of bloggy blogging, dear readers. This weekend's originally scheduled "Three Days of the Condor" left me as depleted as I'd anticipated and feared, only then to extend into a fourth post-midnight night on Monday. I didn't leave the house last night, but I still managed to get dragged into the middle of a lengthy, late-night squabble between The Most Dangerous Game and The Impossible Ingenue, one that robbed me of the rest on which I'd been counting. I truly did not want to go out tonight, but was compelled by a sense of obligation and duty (trouble a'brewin' about which I shan't elaborate tonight).

There is a long-scheduled dinner tomorrow evening, I have aspirations of taking The Impossible Ingenue out dancing on Friday, and The Anonymous Friend invited me to a "poker" (Texas Hold 'Em) night at his apartment on Saturday. No rest for the wicked, though I'm starting to feel profoundly unsettled by all of this socializing. It's gone too far too fast, MERCATOR has vastly exceeded expectations, and equilibrium must be reestablished.

"Too much too soon, too little too late."
—Less Than Jake, "The State of Florida" from GNV FLA

Project PANDORA
Thursday's my earliest morning of the week, and I shan't sleep well tonight; so, again, I haven't the time to tell the tale properly. The Reader's Digest version: since the Miracle Ball not quite a fortnight hence, I've been debating which sister to pursue, The Impossible Ingenue or The Most Dangerous Game? There are a million reasons why neither would date me, but that's neither here nor there, I was—I am—determined to do my very best to woo one of them. But which?

The Impossible Ingenue. I'm going to play the long game, I'm going to play all the angles, I'm not going to give her a fighting chance. I'm going to live by Sir Ernest Shackleton's family motto, "By endurance we conquer." I'm going to achieve the impossible.



I'm going to achieve the impossible.

The Stars My Destination
Godspeed, Atlantis! N.A.S.A.link and B.B.C.link.

The Rebel Black Dot Songs of the Day
The Wombats, "Patricia the Stripper" from A Guide to Love, Loss & Desperation (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: The crucial words are love, loss, & desperation.

Dienstag, 17 November
The Ataris, "So Long, Astoria" from So Long, Astoria (T.L.A.M.)

Montag, 16 November
The Ninjas, "Robot Pirates" from Platypus (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Covered with gusto on Saturday by Gunday Monday, one of the seven ska bands!

Sonntag, 15 November
The Loose Ties, "Becca's Song" from the The Loose Ties E.P. (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Flint-based ska!

Samstag, 14 November
The Forces of Evil, "Fight" from Friend or Foe? (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: One night. Seven ska bands. Too much fun.

"How come nobody plays ska anymore?
I guess they all forgot what we were fighting for.
They're grown up now and they want to be respected,
And be a part of the business we rejected.
I liked things how they used to be
And now I'm doing what I can to save the scene.

You've got to fight for your right to skank,
You've got to fight for your right to skank,
We can't do it on our own
So pick up the telephone
And tell your friends they've got to fight to skank!"

Project MERCATOR: Three Days of the Condor
I was up before the crack of dawn and on the road to Lansing for a daytrip with the U of M-Flint Historical Society (formerly the History Club, which was clearly a better name for the group). The Supreme Court Chamber at the Hall of Justice was impressive, most impressive, but clearly the highlight was the R. E. Olds Transportation Museum, now my favorite spot in sacred Michigan's capital.

Afterward, though I considered staying in and turning in as early as possible, I was lured out by the promise of cake, baked by The Impossible Ingenue. I joined her at her home for a pleasant confab, though both of us were clearly bushed and on our last legs. I had an invitation to join The Most Dangerous Game, the soon-to-be codenamed Vanessa, and a horde of others for a late night showing of The Boondock Saints II, but I'm confident I made the right call… even though The Most Dangerous Game just texted me, asking me to come out for a late night bite to eat.

Post actually composed at 1:13 A.M.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
Mustard Plug, "Brain on Ska" from Skapocalypse Now! (T.L.A.M.)

He's Dead, Jim
The damnedest thing happened this afternoon. For complex and convoluted reasons into which I've delve another time, I brought into a full run, a sprint. I knew as I did so that it was a bad idea on my ankle, still a bum ankle almost three weeks after it was first injured (Sunday, the 25th of October) and almost two weeks after it was reinjured/separately-but-relatedly injured (Saturday, the 31st of October). But I don't know everything. Something happened when I ran, and now my ankle feels better than it has in almost three weeks. Following Donna M.'s advice of consistently wrapping the ankle in an Ace bandage and putting myself on a regular regime of Extra Strength Bayer Aspirin had eliminated the swelling and most of the pain, leaving a lingering front and back tightness that I, in my eminent medical opinion, suspected was more the result of the Halloween reinjury than the original twisting. That tightness is not completely gone, but only just, the most significant leap in progress since the aspirin lowered the boom on the persistent swelling. How about that?

There will be plenty of skanking on Saturday, skanking in the company of The Impossible Ingenue & The Most Dangerous Game; so, fear not, there are going to be plenty of chances to go for the hat trick of injury and undo all of today's healing. But if this keeps up, I'll have to get back to Operation ÖSTERREICH—or at least the exercise half of ÖSTERREICH, the semi-dieting has continued—as soon as is feasible.

All things medical will henceforth fall under the "He's Dead, Jim" title, based of course upon the timeless words of Doctor Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy (DeForest Kelley), the second greatest physician in the annals of the Federation Starfleet, second only to the eugenic superman Doctor Julian Bashir (Alexander Siddig).

Project PANDORA
Much is afoot—though almost all of it solely in my head—and a lot is happening, but this has been a bear of a week and upon the morrow I'm to embark on a three-day Project MERCATOR smorgasbord that will leave me on the verge of exhaustion. So, though 'tis not my intention to tease, I must for the nonce leave you in ignorance.

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The Aquabats!, "Ska Robot Army!" from The Return of The Aquabats! (T.L.A.M.)

Commentary: Two days until my next ska show, the second in a fortnight! Woot!