The Victors
Well, fuck. At moments like these, moments when we have made asses of ourselves in a most public manner, dire forecasts of future events are exquisitely tempting. Bullroar like "Henne and Hart are forever going to be remembered as losers" or "The season is essentially over, I guarantee at least four loses, probably five" can prove very cathartic. But, though I reject Stoicism as inhuman, I do seek to gain a measure of mastery over my emotions; so, catharsis be damned, I shall not give in to the temptation of self-pitying prognostications of doom and gloom.

Though I did not see today's game due to the evil machinations of those greedy bottomfeeders behind the abominable Big Ten Network, I feel confident in both the assertion and the question to follow. The assertion: Coach Carr is a miserable failure in summer practice. he always has been, he always will be. We normally get through the non-conference portion of the schedule by the very skin of our teeth. Lloyd and his staff never figure out how to teach any given group of players until the tail end of September, sometimes not even until October. I suspect the same held true this summer, and after a number of narrow escapes we finally confronted a team in the feisty Mountaineers that was just hungry enough to prevent us from snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. (Though, it must be said that we were also undone by our own hubris. Had we kicked the extra points after our last two touchdowns, instead of arrogantly going for two in a too-clever-by-half ploy scheme to finesse the score, Appalachian State's final field goal would have sent the game into overtime, rather than securing for them the well-deserved win. Pride is the costliest of all sins.)

The question: why in the name of Bennie Oosterbaan's colon does Ron English still have a job? The man is monumentally inept. We might as well not even have fielded a defense last season against the hated Buckeyes and the relentless Trojans, and again this afternoon against the feisty Mountaineers.

The only succor to be found on this horrifically embarrassing day is in the defeat of the vile Fighting Irish. Unfortunately, their pre-season prospects were not regarded as highly as ours; so, our defeat will undoubtedly be the college football story of the week. Drat and curses!

Reminders of protocol: "the valiant Wolverines" win, "we" lose. And the most noble time to honor one's team is in its darkest hour; so, following today's defeat I will be wearing a Michigan T-shirt tomorrow. And also hoping we get our heads out of our arses before next weekend; I'll puke is we lose to those Pac-10 bastards from Oregon.

Go Blue!

The Rebel Black Dot Song of the Day
The University of Michigan Marching Band, "Hoover Street Rag" from A Saturday Tradition (T.L.A.M.)