NARWHAL DAY!
Happy Narwhal Day! To celebrate Narwhal Day properly one must complete these rituals three: a) The wearing of the gray. Any article of clothing will suffice, from great coat or T-shirt to socks or boxers, as long as you wear some gray on Narwhal Day. I wore my customary and custom-made gray "NARWHAL" T-shirt, at least until I got Heinz 57 sauce on it whilest eating dinner. Whoops! So, now I am wearing my blue narwhal of narwhals T-shirt: a silhouette of a narwhal comprised of smaller, stylized narwhals! Wicked cool, but the gray is the key. b) The hearing of the song. "Sympathy for the Narwhal" by DJ Seaghost, an ally of The Aquabats!, is the inspiration for Narwhal Day; it must be played! c) The recitation of the oath. Any poser can say he supports the narwhal and loves Narwhal Day, but only the true friends of the narwhal dare take "The Oath of Narwhal Day." Easy as pie and ninety-three percent as much fun as a barrel of monkeys! Narwhal Day! Woot!

"The Oath of Narwhal Day"

The narwhal is a noble, pitiable creature.
A magnificent, monstrous visage.
An asymmetrical tooth for a horn,
Or sometimes two, or sometimes none,
Half again as long as the beast.

I swear my sympathy for the narhwal.
I will not lie and convince it all is well,
But I will be a friend to the narwhal.
The mocking dolphins and snobby manatees
Will get their well-earned comeuppance,
And the narwhal will frolic all day.

I dream this dream of the narwhal
And celebrate it in all its improbable, oddball glory,
On this the seventh Narwhal Day.


I meant to post all this much earlier, when it would have been more useful, but I could not fall asleep until rather late last night and consequently was in quite a rush this morning. Then again, it is Narwhal Day all day today; so, there's plenty of time left to exalt in the myriad charms of the narwhal! Happy Narwhal Day to all and to all a good night!