malinger v. - to feign illness or other incapacity in order to avoid duty or work.

Meine Vater has impeccable timing. He just happens to hurt his back so that he's around the house on the one day of spring break the Mountain was supposed to be home alone. And after moving without difficulty all weekend long, up and down the stairs, around the house, nary a sign of pain or discomfort, he just happens to "overdo it" the first day of my week off and thus stay home. Good thing I jetted for Ann Arbor, because if I had to be in the house with him all day it would have absolutely ruined my mood. He's a sorry sack of shit, but he does have his talents.

Ain't Life Grand?
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes T-shirt? check
Jones Soda (Blue Bubble Gum)? check
A beautiful girl in a short skirt? el zilcho

Okay, so, life doesn't meet all three requirements for grandness, but as Jack Nicholson sez in Mars Attacks!, "two out of three... and that's ain't bad." Plus, depending on how one looks at things, I'm not wearing a short skirt, which would surely be a bad thing for all involved; so, surely that deserves some consideration. Official verdict? Life is grand!

Though it would be nice to have a cute girl here with me....

The fortune on my Jones Soda reads, "There are good times ahead of you." Kind of vague, okay, meaninglessly vague, but when it is ever a bad thing to be told good times are ahead? Life is grand, and no one is going to rain on my parade.